Ray's musings and humor

Go and wake up your luck.

Persian Saying

 

I have had a great week. My rehab is going well and my special assignment took me to the West Baden Springs Hotel (http://www.frenchlick.com/hotels/westbaden) which is an unbelievable place. I have stayed at some truly great hotels both in the U.S. and overseas but this is as good as or better than all of them. The hotel was once called the eighth wonder of the world and if you go to the web page you will see why. The rooms and amenities were fabulous and the service outstanding. In addition the hotel is only about a mile away from the famous French Lick Hotel and Casino and there is shuttle service between both properties. Of course my wife and I both had to visit the casino both days and luckily we both won and brought back more money than we had when we arrived.

My luck continued to be great; today I picked up a powerful Samsung Galaxy Tablet that I won in a recent raffle. It will allow me to leave my netbook, Kindle and accoutrements home when I next cruise. It is ironic that I had just bought the Kindle Fire last week so now I have two tablets, but I like different features on each so I will keep and use both of them for different purposes.

I will have a long day this coming Sunday as I will be ringing bells for the Salvation Army at the Indianapolis Colts game. The game does not start until one in the afternoon but I have to report to the pickup location at nine-thirty and probably will not get home until six in the evening. It will be a big test of my stamina and staying power but I have been doing better, I have gone almost a week without taking a nitro heart pill. The episodes I have had have been mild.

On top of all that we have Hanukah and soon Christmas so my friends remember it is the season to be jolly, by golly. If you feel a grouch coming on take a drink, do a dance, tell a joke, smile and hug someone. Enjoy it all!

~~~

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

Theodore Isaac Rubin

~~~

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Claven was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went: “Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the backthat are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and …..health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. “In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers

~~~

Money can’t buy happiness, but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

~~~

A friend of mine was a philosophy major during his first semester in college. One day in a seminar class, they spent a great deal of time debating whether the glass was half full or half empty.  After the class, my friend was feeling pretty good about himself and what he was learning at university, so when he went home, he tried to continue the discussion with his family.

With maximum drama, he took a 12 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured in 6 ounces of water.  Then took it into the dining room and placed it in the middle of the table.  He proudly asked his family, “Can anyone tell me whether this glass is half full or half empty.”

Without missing a beat, his grandmother replied, “Depends if you’re drinking or pouring.”

~~~

Sound travels slowly.  Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 30s.

~~~

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They determined to make a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous trunks, sunglasses, shirts, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist” garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, when a “drop dead gorgeous” blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare.

As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said, “Good morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

The next day, they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud; you could hear them before you even saw them. Once again, they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. After a while, the same gorgeous blonde came, wearing a string bikini this time, walking toward them.

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: “Good morning, Father,” “Good morning, Father,” and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn’t stand it and said, “Just a minute, young lady.”

“Yes?” she replied.

“We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests?”

“Father, it’s me, Sister Helen.”

~~~

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

Malcolm Forbes

~~~

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons.When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced…

“It’s a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!”

~~~

Just when you get really good at something, you won’t need to do it anymore.

~~~

She said: My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached.  The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots.

“Tina,” I commented, “I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” she answered. “Which one?” I asked.  She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

~~~

If procrastinators had a club, would they ever have a meeting?

~~~

The other day I went to the bookstore to buy a dictionary. The clerk showed me a really cheap one. I couldn’t find the words to thank him. I did, however, buy a thesaurus. I thought that was very nice, pleasurable, agreeable.

~~~

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

I don’t know who the author was but I appreciate his putting into words my feelings.

Ray

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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