Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2011

I am thankful, are you?

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?

Albert Einstein

 

Soon it will be Thanksgiving Day and as we know it has not been an easy year for many folks. College graduates have had difficulty finding jobs and many have had to move back home. Others have seen their income reduced or even have suffered from job loss. Energy prices soar and food and medical costs continue to rise. The truth is our world is not what it was just a short few years ago. Today I would like to share an article with you that I got from Foreign Policy Magazine a few months ago, I was surprised that I found it in a publication that normally just keeps me up to date on global affairs.

 

The Next Big Thing: Happiness

By Barry Schwartz

Psychologists and other social scientists (most economists excepted) have learned a lot in the last few decades about what makes us happy. They have taught us that, in affluent societies, money doesn’t buy as much happiness as people think. Indeed, for people living above subsistence, it may buy very little.

They have also taught us what affects well-being more than money: close relations with family, friends, and community; meaningful work; security (financial, job, and health); and democracy.

Before the financial crisis, nothing was stopping us from pursuing these things that make life worth living. But, consistent with a substantial body of research showing that we generally don’t know what’s good for us, when the money was flowing we substituted risk for security. We sacrificed time with friends and family to spend more time at work accumulating wealth and more time after work figuring out how to spend it. The short-term temptations were just too hard to resist.

But now, everyone’s belt has tightened. Financial necessity may give us the opportunity to discover that time spent with loved ones is much more satisfying than time spent with your 76-inch HDTV. Once the crisis lifts, we may not be tempted to go back to living the way we did before, if that’s even an option for those millions who are now losing their jobs, homes, and retirement accounts.

If this silver lining does appear, it may bring another benefit in its wake. It might change the way society and policymakers assess well-being. It may become apparent that equating social welfare with GDP is not just inadequate, but more importantly, misleading. It might lead us to develop a gross national well-being measure that will supplement, or even replace, GDP as our principal yardstick of social welfare and social progress. Then, maybe we’ll discover that we were never so well off in the first place.

—-

Barry Schwartz is professor of psychology at Swarthmore College and author of The Costs of Living: How Market Freedom Erodes the Best Things in Life.

 

I really liked this article because it again reminded me that I have a lot to be thankful for; family, friends, and community. And as he said in the article, “time spent with loved ones is much more satisfying than time spent with your 76-inch HDTV”. So my friends while our lives may not be the same as they were, we may end up being better off than those who convinced themselves that happiness required them to have more things.

~~~

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.

Barbara de Angelis

~~~

A blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.”

“Oh, No!” she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he’d make it easy.

“Who was God’s son?” said Saint Peter.

The Blonde thought for a few minutes and said, “Andy!”

“That’s interesting… What made you say that?” said Saint Peter.

Then She started to sing, “Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me…”

~~~

I’m paranoid.  On my stationary bike, I have a rearview mirror.

Richard Lewis

~~~

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat.  Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.  Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you.  But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!”

“I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

~~~

What do you call a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?

A man who is at two with the universe

~~~

Mr. Weiss ordered a pair of pants from a local tailor. When they were not ready in the promised two weeks, Weiss agreed to wait another two weeks, and then another two weeks, until finally after six months, the tailor presented him with his new pants and displayed them proudly for everyone to see.

“I want to ask you a question,” Weiss said to the tailor. “How come God Almighty was able to create the world, the entire universe, in only 6 days, and it took you six months to make a pair of pants?”

“Ahhh,” replied the tailor, “Look at the condition of the world and then look at this gorgeous pair of pants.”

~~~

To be happy, drop the words “if only” and substitute the words “next time”.

~~~

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately.  He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance.  A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

“Honey!” he cried. “Is that you?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Happier than you were with me?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Then Heaven must be an amazing place!”

“I’m not in Heaven, dear.”

~~~

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life — delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay — I hold this question as a guiding light: “What do I really need right now to be happy?” What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.

Sharon Salzberg

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Beep…Beep…Beep Beep…Beep

Technology… the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.

Max Frisch

 

As I reported to you on Friday I was off to my first real cardiac rehab session. They took my vitals, wired me up with a heart monitor, stored the results at rest and then told me to take a leisurely walk around the facility for six minutes. I didn’t make it; they stopped me at three minutes and had me sit down since my heart was adding some new notes to my normal beat. They called my cardiologist and sent him what they were seeing. I was then told to go to his facility and report in. When I arrived they did the normal EKG, read out my Pacemaker data, made a Pacemaker adjustment and then set me up with a 24 hour heart monitor. So I am now wired and the results are being monitored 24 by 7 for at least four more days.

I could not help as I walked around on Saturday broadcasting my every beat to the guy in the sky thinking back to my youth. I remember getting a crystal radio kit that cost a couple of dollars, it included a crystal, a cats whisker (a thin wire that you touched to the crystal) and ear phones. If you were lucky you would pick up a broadcast from almost anywhere. Also a big hero in those days was the comic character Dick Tracy who had a wrist radio that we all knew was fantasy and would never happen in real life. And then there was me this Saturday on my way to meet a friend for breakfast. I was transmitting my heart info continuously, the latest news stories from the New York Times was automatically being downloaded via a 3G network to my Kindle that rested on the car seat, my smart phone was on my belt with its GPS tracking my progress and all this while I listened to a book stored on my I-Pod that was being transmitted to my car radio. It boggles the mind!

While I do long for the simpler days of old I am reminded that technology provided me a long career in the computer industry, my Pacemaker is a lifesaving miracle, my current heart monitor is helping to gather information that will be the foundation for therapies that will return my health. I could go on and on, you get the idea, in fact if it was not for today’s technology we would not be as close as we are. Unfortunately however some misuse it and I fear many have become dehumanized because of a lack of human interaction.  We all must guard against falling into a trap that turns us into technocrats resulting in our artists, philosophers and humanitarians becoming endangered species’.

~~~

The drive toward complex technical achievement offers a clue to why the U.S. is good at space gadgetry and bad at slum problems.

John Kenneth Galbraith

~~~

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.  They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness.  Leaning close, one asked, “Sir, do you know what we’re doing right now?”

The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. “Oh,” he replied, “I’d say about 50, maybe 55.”

~~~

When you dig another out of their troubles, you find a place to bury your own.

Anonymous

~~~

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach.

“Now go over there and explain it to your mother.”

~~~

What’s the difference between new and brand new?

~~~

After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning.

“It’s twenty to seven,” she called.

“In whose favor?”

~~~

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Philo

~~~

Residents of a local nursing home loved our karate school’s demonstration. We could tell because they gave us a big hand at the end of the demonstration. After the applause died down, everyone remained seated, so we showed off a few more moves. When our encore ended and again, no one budged, we launched into our second encore. “I didn’t expect karate to be so popular here,” I whispered to one of the residents, after the second encore.

“It’s not,” she said with a kindly smile. “We’re waiting for you to leave so we can get on with our bingo game.”

~~~

Where do they send Siberian criminals?

~~~

She said: As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.

“We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses,” he explained. “I think you’ll find everything there.”

As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  And we’d like to see just HOW you do it.”

~~~

If we are what we eat, I’m cheap, fast and easy.

~~~

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30.

“Good morning,” a young man said, sheepishly. “This is your wake-up call.”

Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. “You were supposed to call me at 6 AM!….”, I complained, “What if I had a million- dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?”

“Well, sir,” the desk clerk quickly replied, “If you had a million-dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn’t be staying in this motel!”

~~~

I think I should not go far wrong if I asserted that the amount of genuine leisure available in a society is generally in inverse proportion to the amount of labor-saving machinery it employs.

E.F. Schumacher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you veterans!

In all my life I’ve only seen a dozen real killers, but I’ve seen ten thousand people that would stand by and let it happen. Which is the greater evil?

Gene Roddenberry

Wow, I have had a truly great week, The Michael Feinstein Great American Songbook Foundation allowed me to visit their huge collection and as it turns out I have a number of books that they would like to add to their reference library; we got our Mayoral election behinds us; I made some new friends; learned some new things and even picked up some new subscribers to the Daily. But here we are Friday morning and I have to rush off to the hospital for my first real cardiac rehab session, followed by a morning meeting so I bet you can guess, yep, another daily from the archives.

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published November 11, 2004

 

World War One ended on this day, it was the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 when the Great War ended. World War I was known as the “war to end all wars” because of the great slaughter and destruction it caused. Unfortunately, the peace treaty that officially ended the conflict–the Treaty of Versailles of 1919–forced punitive terms on Germany that destabilized Europe and laid the groundwork for World War II.

When I was young the day was not called Veterans Day, it was called Armistice Day. I remember being in grammar school at 11:00 AM when we had a moment of silence, more in celebration of the peace than to remember the dead. Since then we have seen the Second World War, the Korean War (I was in the Navy for that one), the Vietnam War, and lately two wars in the Middle-East. Personally I find little glory in war, my memories of the wars I have known are filled with the deaths of friends and those innocents caught in the middle of conflicts. I guess what I am saying is that while I hold my fellow veterans in high regard, I do long for the peacemakers who bring wars to their end. So today at 11 AM I plan on remembering for a minute the days when we all celebrated an armistice that brought peace, versus celebrating those of us who were called to war.

~~~

The peace makers shall be called the children of God.

Bible

~~~

She asks who understands men!

The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don’t think we are beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ….WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

~~~

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.

Edward de Bono

~~~

An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I’ll dance on your grave!  I’ll dance on your grave!”

Well, sure enough, the old geezer died first. His last request was that he be buried at sea.

~~~

This is also how I feel about Wagner’s music.

“I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.”

Charles Baudelaire

~~~

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband “I don’t know whether to watch them or the game.”

Husband said, “Better watch them! You already know how to play volleyball.”

~~~

How many weeks are there in a light year?

~~~

She said, if men got pregnant:

* Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.

* There would be a cure for stretch marks.

* Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

* Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.

* All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

* Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

* Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

* They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.

* Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00pm.

* Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

* Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

* They would stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

* Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.

* Women would rule the world.

~~~

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana

~~~

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any again.”

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something.  If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way.  Now, what was it she asked about?”

And the clerk said, “Muggings in the parking lot.”

~~~

Experience teaches us that there is a small but important difference between keeping your chin up and sticking your neck out.

~~~

She said: Working as a court reporter, I hear to a lot of testimony that you won’t hear on LAW AND ORDER, including the following give-and-take between the judge and a mother during a paternity suit.

Judge: “Was this child born out of wedlock?”

Mother: “No, sir, just outside of Louisville.”

~~~

“Beauty is not in the face;

Beauty is a light in the heart.”

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What do you think?

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.”

Unknown

 

Someone just sent me this fairly long piece that I think is worth our thinking about, so rather than my giving you my views I’ll let you form your own opinion. That being said I do believe that more people are finding it harder to cope then I think they did in the last century even though it ended not that many years ago.

 

Staying positive in the 21st century

 

Apparently our bodies aren’t cut out for living in this century. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, author of Spontaneous Happiness, a great many people struggling to stay positive and happy aren’t depressed; they just don’t have brains equipped for the 21st century. When I first read the headline “Don’t Let Chaos Get You Down” in a recent issue of Newsweek, I was intrigued. My own brain, currently living in the 21st century wondered, “Huh? How could our brains — many of which were created in the 21st century — not be equipped to handle the life we’re living?” Well, According to Dr. Weil, there more people have, the less likely they are to be happy. Modern life, complete with all of it’s comforts and conveniences, seems to create a breeding ground for depression.

It might seem like a terrible way for the world’s wealthiest to explain their personal struggles — “oh, poor us, we have so much that it makes us sad!” — but there is some solid logic behind it. You see, we humans weren’t designed to live such sedentary lifestyles, eat such processed food, or spend hours and hours overstimulated by television and internet. Nature and in-person bonding have given way to spending extended amounts of time indoors, interacting with monitors and television screens, iPhones and iPads. Not that these are bad things — in my mind, they are some of the greatest things! — but we weren’t necessarily made for living this lifestyle.

Maybe someday our bodies will adapt, but for our pre-industrial bodies are living in an increasingly modern world. So how do those living in a modern world cope with the negative aspects of it — the isolation and the detachment from the lives our bodies were designed to be living? Below is the advice of Dr. Weil.

 

5 Tips for Staying Positive in the 21st Century

 

1. Learn to be present. Staying mindful is how we used to live. We didn’t worry about the future or stress about the past because we were focused on survival and that’s what are brains are used to. To be more in sync with yourself, stay in the present moment.

2. Adjust your sleep cycle. Humans are supposed to sleep when it’s dark and be awake when it’s light. Strive to sleep in complete darkness (get some dark curtains!) and go outside (or be near windows) during the day to keep your body in line with the natural light.

3. Interact socially. Tempting as it is to spend time online and consider that “social” time, remember that it’s crucial that you interact with others in person. Humans, like most animals, are wired to need social interaction and it’s crucial to make interacting with others a priority for your happiness.

4. Cultivate silence. Not all of the noises in today’s world (or many of them, for that matter!) are ones that we’re naturally used to. Many of them disturb and startle us, which is why it’s a good idea to surround yourself with silence (or at least sounds of nature) whenever you can.

5. Limit technology use. Much as I love being online, on my iPhone, or on my iPad, those aren’t necessarily the most natural states for my body to be in. To create a more positive experience for your body, limit your technology use when you can and reconnect with nature.

~~~

“Some people are always grumbling that roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses.”– Alphonse Karr

~~~

He said this, I didn’t, my wife does not allow these kinds of opinionjs.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t, know where to start.”  We will then drink beer.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t a problem.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “cumin” or “tofu.” For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism.

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as, much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.

Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, the year 2011, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest.

This has been a public service message for Women to Better Understand the Male.

~~~

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

~~~

She said: My husband went on a sudden business trip, and I accompanied him. It soon became apparent that he could not wrap things up in one day, so his employer put us up for the night in a luxury hotel. We found a convenience store and purchased toothbrushes, a razor and other necessary items.

Finally we entered the lobby of the hotel, each of us toting a brown paper bag filled with supplies. The hotel manager looked us over.

Raising an eyebrow, he intoned haughtily, “Matched luggage?”

~~~

A liberal education makes your mind a pleasant place to spend your leisure time.

~~~

When the car engine developed a slight knock, Bob asked his wife if she had bought special or regular gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the roughness of the engine.”

“No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “It cost the same as always. I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth.”

~~~

One of life’s best coping mechanisms is to know the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat and a lump in the breast are not the same kind of lump. One needs to learn the difference.

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Be a Nudger

“You can’t change the past. You can’t even change the future, in the sense that you can only change the present one moment at a time, stubbornly, until the future unwinds itself into the stories of our lives.”

Larry Wall

 

I was reading an article in the Wilson Quarterly yesterday as I was waiting for a friend. It got me thinking about how we use the gifts we have been given. I started to realize that having a skill we don’t use is the same as if we had never had the skill, if we can see but don’t look it is the same as if we were blinded to what is around us, if we can speak but stand mute it is the same as if we could not speak at all and then it hit me if we have free will and don’t use it is the same as if we didn’t any at all.

I think what got me to that point was the concern I have for folks who have locked themselves in place, often complaining about their day to day existence. I know we have talked about it before, people who are either too lazy or too afraid to challenge the status quo. I can think of few things worse than feeling frustrated each day because everything is the same. The same job, the same TV shows, pretty much the same everything. They are not pushed out of their safe zone, they just accept what they are told to do on their job with the rest of their days lived in much the same way. They even come to the point where they have convinced themselves that there is no choice and any attempt on their part to brak out would fail anyway so why try.

We all have free will, just many of us let it lay latent and unused to the point it stagnates and possible even becomes unusable. I know that could not possibly happen in your case, but I would be surprised if you did not know someone who is trapped in a mundane and ritualistic life, never really happy. Those are people that need a Nudger, I know that is not a word but you know what I mean. Someone who can, push, pull or lead someone out of their shell. In my experience it does little good to tell them they shouldn’t be the way they are, they are too imprisoned by their life to attempt a breakout. Rather they need to share in the experiences offered by someone who cares enough to be their Nudger.

In my case I have learned to be my own Nudger, if things are getting boring or too routine I find a new activity. It might be as simple as driving slowly home via a completely new route looking around at things I have never seen before, other times it might be doing a bit of impulse shopping ending by buying a myself a modest reward just for loving my life as it has become.

I am not advocating your becoming a professional Nudger, however I do recommend it as a rewarding avocation. Many just take advantage of the benefits of Autonudging, using it to keep their life interesting. Others are fortunate to have found out how much fun it is to share time with folks they have Nudged.

~~~

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

Søren Kierkegaard

~~~

“May I take your order, Sir?” the waiter asked.

“Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special, Sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

~~~

Lord, please let me find a one-armed economist so we won’t always hear “on the other hand…”

~~~

NEW YORK’S DRIVING RULES

1) Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Long Island driver never uses them. Use of them in Massapequa may be illegal.

2) Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3) Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered “going with the flow.”

4) The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5) Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.

6) Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.

7) Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the state police radar car parked on the median.

8) Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

9) Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

10) Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.

11) Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

12) It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.

13) Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God’s way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

~~~

A perfectionist is one who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.

~~~

He said that you can tell it’s her if:

When asked, “Is something bothering you?” she replies “no” then gets mad when she is believed.

She becomes attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, starts dating him, and immediately expects him to stop this behavior.

She always takes an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.

She always hides very important events in very unimportant terms so she can have something to be upset about when her boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. She says “It’s no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend.” when she means “It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it is possible!”

She whines.

~~~

Completion of any task within the allocated time and budget does not bring credit upon the performance — it merely proves that the task was easier than expected.

~~~

A traveler stopped to observe the curious behavior of a farmer who was plowing his field. The single mule hitched to the plow was wearing blinders, and the farmer was yelling, ‘Giddyap, Pete! Giddyap, Herb! Giddyap, Ol’ Bill! Giddyap, Jeb!’

After watching the farmer carry on like this for a while, the traveler asked, ‘Say, mister, how many names does that mule have?’

‘Just one, his name is Pete.’

‘Then why do you call out Herb and Bill and Pete, and Jeb?’

‘It’s like this,’ explained the farmer. ‘If Ol’ Pete knew he was doing all this work alone, I couldn’t make him do it. But if he thinks he’s got three other mules workin’ alongside of him, he does the whole job all by himself.’

‘What a marvelous idea!’ exclaimed the traveler. And when he got back to his corporate office in New York, he invented the committee.

~~~

“We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses–one foot is on the horse called “fate,” the other on the horse called “free will.” And the question you have to ask every day is–which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?”

Elizabeth Gilbert

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I’ll be glad when it is over!

A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.

James Freeman Clarke

 

I had my first cardiac rehab event yesterday, it went really well, we spent the whole time talking about what will happen in the future. All we did was go through my history and life style. I did not have any chest pain or shortness of breath through it all, my kind of exercise. I did get to see all the equipment that I guess they plan on using. You can imagine my relief when I saw that none of the therapists had whips or were in biker leather. We’ll see.

~~~

Today is our Mayoral and City Councilor election. I am so glad it will be over soon, I hate it when millions are spent to pay for untruthful and mudslinging negative adds. I just wish the public realized that it is us that create this nightmare by succumbing to propaganda. It demeans the candidates and it demeans us. It is no wonder we have such a hard time finding worthy candidates who are willing to put up with it all. It pains me to see two good people being drawn into the mud by their handlers and advisors. I liked it when we voted for someone rather against who we have been told is the most evil.

One of the candidates is a friend and fellow Kiwanian and I think he deserves to be reelected but it will be close. I use to stay up all night glued to the radio and television as I monitored the results as they came in, finally it dawned on me that my rapt attention never changed the outcome and if I slept I would be more lucid when I read the analysis and final results the next morning.

HOPE AND GLORY

Graeme King

I’ve always been a man of many talents,

but never bragged or stated I was tough,

when times are bad and life hangs in the balance

I face up to the world and call its bluff.

 

If famine strikes I’ll fast and bite the bullet

and sacrifice myself for fellow man,

should evil wear a chain then I will pull it,

and flush the devil down the toilet pan.

 

I’ll never sell my soul for silver dollars,

or walk away from trouble if it comes,

I’ve learned a creed of life not taught to scholars,

or earned by those who sit and twiddle thumbs.

 

My purpose here on Earth is clear as crystal,

I’m here to help preserve our way of life,

no need to start a war or fire a pistol,

or hold the world to ransom with a knife.

 

I never ask for thanks, it’s my vocation,

don’t label me a hero or a saint,

I stepped right in to save the situation,

and did what must be done without complaint.

If you should write the book, I want it noted

that I was there, to heed my country’s plea,

I walked up to that polling booth and voted,

but if the guy’s a dud – well don’t blame ME!

~~~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.  Author Unknown

~~~

Master Sergeant Alfie was a thirty-year Army veteran now assigned to a training battalion and tough as nails. He seemed to have no thought whatsoever about how others responded to his cut-and-dried military manner. One day he assembled the training battalion and announced, “Private Monroe, take one step forward.” Private Monroe took one step forward, and the sergeant bellowed, “Private Monroe. Report to the chaplain; your mother just died.” Monroe just crumbled and fainted dead away from shock. Later that day, the battalion commander chewed out the master sergeant: “You’re going to have to learn something about TACT.

You just can’t yell at a man and tell him his mother just died. The next time you’re called on for this duty, you’d better do it in a more compassionate way.” It just so happened that the very next day, another soldier’s mother died, and the MSGT assembled the troops again. “All you whose mother is living” he shouted, “take one step forward. NOT SO FAST, TAYLOR!”

~~~

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”

William Shakespeare

~~~

The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man.  There’s so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest.  Everyone loves him and. . . ”

Her client leaned over to a friend and said, “How do you like her? I pay her good dough to defend me, and she’s telling the jury about some other guy.”

~~~

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

~~~

Two blondes are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty beat up car down to a bank they’re going to rob. “Drive slower,” pleads the one in the passenger seat, “I don’t want all the dynamite in the trunk to explode.”

“Relax,” the driver replies. “Even if it did, I’ve got a spare box under the passenger seat.”

~~~

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags.  He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well-dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.

“I believe that luggage is mine.  Were your bags marked like this?” he asked.

“Actually,” the man replied, “I was wondering who did this to my luggage.”

~~~

People often say that, in a democracy, decisions are made by a majority of the people.  Of course, that is not true.  Decisions are made by a majority of those who make themselves heard and who vote – a very different thing.

Walter H. Judd

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I’m going rut climbing, join me?

Fill your to-do list with things that make you happy.

Today is the start of my rejuvenation process; I’ll be beginning a Cardiac Rehabilitation program. The idea is that if I build my stamina and energy back up I’ll do a better job of tolerating my brief angina episodes and be able to walk greater distances without difficulty. I am really looking forward to the regimen for I have slacked off for far too long. I rationalized my exercise avoidance as keeping me from going too far too fast. Of course not exercising like I use to on my treadmill just made things worse. So now I get another chance to get back on track with the result that I will do more and be more effective.

Of course it has not just been my failure to exercise that has slowed me down, it has also been letting laziness slip up on me. It is not to say I haven’t enjoyed every day, or almost every day, I have, but that is as much focusing on what is good without necessarily in investing in what might be better. I think from the combination of physical lethargy and mental coasting I could probably be diagnosed as having fallen into a rut worth crawling out of. It is not that I have not been somewhat busy and even contributed somewhat, it just is that I think I could do better. In truth our lives need occasional change and variety so I plan to supplement my Cardiac Rehab with some rut elimination.

Here is an edited article posted by life coach Robin McAllister-Zaas that may help if you want to do some rut removal of your own.

Recharge Your Spirit

  • In this post I want to give you some ideas on how to recharge your life.  I’m not talking about the quick fixes.  No, I’m talking about things that give you a new lease on life, refreshes you, recharges your personality and gives you a new perspective.
  • Face a Fear − Not like a fear of snakes, no I’m talking about a fear like: public speaking, singing, pitching an idea, sky diving, rock climbing, acting.  Facing a fear opens up new pathways in our brains and has the potential once conquered to change our whole life!
  • Conquer a Task − I am occasionally guilty of putting off a task that I don’t really want to do and it looms over me like a big dark cloud. But, when I feel myself getting stale and tired I conquer something and viola I get a bolt of energy!   It could be as small as a phone call you’ve been putting off or as big as developing a new product.  It could be working out the logistics for a new volunteer project or painting the entry hall in your home.   Pick a task and take action!
  • Exercise in a new way! − I love working out, I love the endorphins that it gives me and I crave that feeling on a daily basis.  But, sometimes when I need a boost I will change up my routine or add a sport that I’ve wanted to try.  Consider wall climbing or add new floor exercises to your workout routine.   Promises to get your heart pumping in a new way and help you feel like a new you.
  • Learn something new − Is there a subject that you would like to know more about or a hobby you want to start? Learning something new is a great way to jumpstart our lives when we are feeling a little out of sorts. It gives our minds something fresh and new to concentrate on which is great for sparking our creativity and imagination.
  • Take a Field Trip − Get out of your office or your home and take yourself on a field trip to a new area of your city that you want to explore. Visit an art museum or the zoo, explore a park or eat at a new restaurant. Nothing like a change of scenery to recharge and renew!

Don’t wait for a down day to force you into recharging!  Take control of your life and refresh regularly.

~~~

‘You can do anything, but not everything.’

David Allen

~~~

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

“Nothing much, Pastor,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.”

“Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex.”

In unison they all replied, “You win!”

~~~

There are two theories on how to successfully argue with a Jewish mother.

Unfortunately, neither works.

~~~

And the Churchgoer said:

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn’t belong.

If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has.

Every evening I turn my troubles over to God – He’s going to be up all night anyway.

~~~

Boxing great Jake LaMotta said of his old friend Gerry Cooney:  There’s nothing I won’t do for him, and there’s nothing he won’t do for me.  So we go through life doing nothing for each other.

~~~

There are some things I would never know if it wasn’t for Judy, for example she told me:

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra…

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always lifts you up

Makes you look better

And Always Close To Your Heart!!!

~~~

The only way to pass any test is to take the test.

Anonymous

~~~

Two neighbors were out at the mall shopping. They decided to go into this one store together. The neighbor buying Christmas gifts for her little ones, bought a few of the latest toy gadgets. Unfortunately, they all read, “Batteries Not Included.”

So they headed over to the electronics department for batteries, but they were all behind the counter. Try as she might, the woman with the gadgets could not get the attention of one of the harried sales clerks.

“I know how to get a clerk’s attention,” her Jewish neighbor said. “Just watch this, Sally.”

She opened her purse, pulled out a tape measure and began measuring the dimensions of one of those $4,000 plasma TVs. Instantly, a sales clerk practically leap-frogged over several displays to reach the woman who was there to shop for Chanukah gifts. “Can I help you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, pointing to the display behind the counter. “We need batteries. Four AA’s, two size D’s and two nine-volts…”

~~~

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

Anna Quindlen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Joy is just ahead

May your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.

Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey

 

Here we ago another Friday and soon the weekend. Recently I wrote that even though I had retired I really enjoyed the weekend since there were seldom any meetings that I needed to attend deadlines that were hours away, in other words freedom was mine.

I know I really don’t have to do all the things I do during the week, but I want to. I tried long stretches in the easy chair and I found about the only thing that rested was my mind through disuse. So besides writing you most weekdays I do stay pretty active. In fact, I know this may be hard to believe, some days I have little time for joy. So occasionally I roll into to Friday with a joy vacuum but the anecdote is always waiting for me on Saturday. The formula may include, breakfast with a friend, a trip to the market, watching a light hearted movie at an early matinee, visiting with family, catching up on reading and a host other things. Fortunately there are usually joy leftovers available for Sunday, in fact I sometimes even have some left that I bank for later.

What I do avoid is any bitter medicine, if there is no joy in it, it goes on the shelf to be opened on Monday. Fortunately I find there is joy all around, free to take, all you have to do is decide you are going to do a little looking around, if you don’t see it right away just try something, for often joy requires us to polish it up in order for it to brighten our days.

I like what Ralph Marston wrote about joy, here is what he said.

For the joy of it

Live for the joy of it. Live for the love of it. It’s never irresponsible to truly enjoy your moments. Because when you live with joy you create more value for all of life.

In joy you can see the beauty. In the beauty you can feel your purpose. Let go of your ideas of what should or should not be. Be joyful simply because you can, right where you are, with all you have.

Joy is a gift you give to life that comes back to you the moment you give it. Give it often and give it profusely.

Feel joy, be joy and give joy. Then find even more joy in the positive difference it makes.

~~~

“Who is the happiest of men?

He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

It is important that people of my generation stay abreast of medical terminology so we can speak intelligently with our medical caregivers. As I service of our daily I have provided this helpful list of terms.

 

Artery………………….The study of paintings.

Benign………………….What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria………………..Back door to cafeteria.

Barium………………….What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section…………A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan…………………Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize……………….Made eye contact with her.

Colic…………………..A sheep dog.

Coma……………………A punctuation mark.

D&C…………………….Where Washington is.

Dilate………………….To live long.

Enema…………………..Not a friend.

Fester………………….Quicker than someone else.

Fibula………………….A small lie.

Genital…………………Non-Jewish person.

Hangnail………………..What you hang your coat on.

Impotent………………..Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain………………Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff……………A Doctor’s cane.

Morbid………………….A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates………………..Cheaper than day rates.

Node……………………I knew it.

Outpatient………………A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear……………….A fatherhood test.

Pelvis………………….Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative…………..A letter carrier.

Recovery Room……………Place to do upholstery.

Rectum………………….Pretty near killed him.

Secretion……………….Hiding something

Seizure…………………Roman emperor.

Tablet………………….A small table.

Terminal Illness…………Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor…………………..More than one.

Urine…………………..Opposite of you’re out

Varicose………………..Near by

~~~

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

Voltaire

~~~

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, “How’d you do that?”

“I could tell you, sir”, the magician answered, “But then I’d have to kill you.”

After a short pause, the man yelled back, “Ok, then… just tell my wife!”

~~~

Make the most of today. Translate your good intentions into actual deeds.

Grenville Kleiser

~~~

Little Rodney, 4 years old, walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, “Are you a Christian?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Do you read your Bible every day?”

She nodded her head, “Yes.”

“Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, and again she answered, “Yes.”

With that he asked his final question, “Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?”

~~~

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.

Henri Nouwen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

My old friend was right, you get what you expect.

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

Author Unknown

 

I have been somewhat distressed lately by those who pigeonhole people in their minds before they even meet them. As an example I had a recent experience where a gentlemen went to an event that he just knew could not be that good, and sure enough he told me it was a disaster. Later I talked with other folks who attended the same event and they thought it was great.

Similarly a neighbor told me that the family moving into our complex were going to create problems, she had heard that the parents did not control the kids and more. You know what happened? The family moved in and the neighbor was right, she told me that she knew the kids were going to be trouble and sure enough they were that very afternoon. I was disappointed because I always want to like the people I meet, so I asked what the kids had done and she replied “they were playing with a ball outside.” After I heard what she said I was truly concerned, not for the new family but for my neighbor. How awful it must be to always expect the worse and then go out of your way to prove your right. I am glad that almost everyone I meet are good people, just like I thought they would be.

Here is one of the best little stories I have read recently in the same vein.

Good People

A Yiddish Folk Tale

An old man sat outside the walls of a great city. When travelers approached, they would ask the old man, “What kind of people live in this city?” The old man would answer, “What kind of people live in the place where you came from?” If the travelers answered, “Only bad people live in the place where we came from,” the old man would reply, “Continue on; you will find only bad people here.”

But if the travelers answered, “Good people live in the place where we came from,” then the old man would say, “Enter, for here too, you will find only good people.”

~~~

Life doesn’t come with guarantees. Just know that smiling will brighten your face, laughter will brighten your day, and good people will make your life great…good morning and be safe!

Author unknown

~~~

The “Bird Lady” was a difficult independent 75 year old who sat in the park feeding the pigeons every day. One morning she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood.

Then suddenly a man in his early 40’s rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn’t throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere… when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.

Without hesitation the Bird lady replied angrily: “But I can’t throw that far!”

~~~

Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched.

~~~

Trying to relate to the younger generation really can go too far.

Trust me the following combinations do not go together:

1. A nose ring and bifocals.

2. Spiked hair and bald spots.

3. A pierced tongue and dentures.

4. Miniskirts and support hose.

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads.

6. Speedos and cellulite,

7. A bellybutton ring and a gallbladder surgery scar.

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor.

9. Midriff shirts and midriff bulge.

10. Bikinis and liver spots.

11. Short shorts and varicose veins.

12. In-line skates and a walker.

~~~

The world is not moved only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.

Helen Keller

~~~

The following was in The Atlanta Journal. This has got to be one of the best “singles ads” ever:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy.

~~~

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

Kimberly Johnson

~~~

Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, “Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine.”

Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight member said, “I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently.”

“Hmm?” said the manager. “And are you sure you having nothing else to add?”

“Well, yes,” said the member. “I lie extensively.”

~~~

The doctor says to the patient, “Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window”.

“What will that do” asks the patient. The doctor says “I’m mad at my neighbor!”

Henny Youngman

~~~

In the news the other day, a tractor-trailor loaded with brand-new file folders was hijacked.  Later the same day, a truck carrying boxes of Post-its was stolen.  Authorities are still investigating, but they believe the robberies were the work of organized crime.

~~~

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.

John E. Southard

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

We need more truth!

Truth has not special time of its own. Its hour is now—always and indeed then most truly when it seems unsuitable to actual circumstances.

Albert Schweitzer

 

I have a first of the day dental appointment this morning followed by a full schedule, so my friends I shall again dip into the past for a reprint of the daily.

Ray

Ray’s daily first published November 2, 2005

Have you sometimes wished that you could always see things through rose colored glasses? I have occasionally even though it would be a problem if I did. When you get right down to it we are much better off seeing things as they are versus seeing them as we would like them to be. Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating pessimism, I am advocating recognizing both the good and the bad, and when we do that we embrace the good and either ignore or get over the bad.

I wish everyone would feel the same way. I wonder sometimes what I am missing when I hear leaders saying that things are going well in Iraq or that the economy is doing well even though we continue to build massive debt. It seems to me that when they speak this way they either are trying to con the public or they don’t realize reality, I don’t know what is worse.

Meanwhile yours and my life goes on. I am sorry that my friend Sara will be leaving Indianapolis for good by the end of the year, but I am happy she is doing so in order to enter the next phase her life including her marriage. Another friend will soon be packing to move back to Iceland and his family. I will always have fond memories of the times we had together and the things he did for me and so many others.

I was saddened by the death of a fellow service club member. He was a man who unselfishly gave of himself over many years, as a judge, educator, and humanitarian. He will be missed.

We are challenged every day. We can either let things get us down or fall back on our resiliency to rise above the bad times so we can see the good. I just wish people would quit trying to con us and instead share the facts. I think we all could handle truth, even on a regular basis. Maybe if they understood that winning is not nearly as good as living the good life, they would quit.

~~~

What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires — desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.

Bertrand Russell

~~~

Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler

  • Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase “Free Ammo”.
  • There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.
  • On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter.
  • While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as “Petey-Boy.”
  • Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.
  • Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two.
  • In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.
  • Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.

~~~

“One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.”

Alice James

~~~

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

~~~

“Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.”

A. J. Liebling

~~~

George Burns told a story about cheating on his wife once during their marriage.  He kept it to himself, but he felt so bad that he bought Gracie a beautiful diamond bracelet.  Finally, after several years had gone by, he confessed to Gracie about his indiscretion.  She said, “I know.  I was hoping you’d do it again.  I wanted a ring to match.”

~~~

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.”

Johnny Carson

~~~

Mom’s Dictionary

  • Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM, too.
  • Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
  • Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
  • Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
  • Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
  • Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
  • Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
  • Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
  • Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
  • Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
  • Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing ‘dry’ shoes into it.
  • Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
  • Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
  • Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
  • Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
  • Verbal: Ability to whine in actual words.
  • Whoodunit: None of the kids in your house!
  • Ooops: An exclamation that translates roughly into ‘get a sponge.’

~~~

The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.

John Baines

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

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