Ray's musings and humor

Archive for October, 2011

Did I tell you the one about………

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”

Mark Twain

 

Many of us have had to give up some of the things we use to do. Things just seem to cost more these days, that coupled with falling incomes, shrinking savings has meant that many of us have had to modify our life styles. Personally I think some lifestyle modification is not a bad thing for many folks, especially young people who have not wanted for much.

What is neat is that there is so much we can enjoy without spending an arm and a leg. All we have to do is open our minds, do a little checking and then show up at festivals, museums, performances and such. I know that when the purse is empty we won’t last long if we just sit back and mope. Fortunately the best therapy for the doldrums is humor. It is hard to cry if you are laughing so hard that you forget what there is to cry about. The humor I supply every day is as much for me as for you for I love to begin the day with a smile.

A few years ago someone sent me the following advice that was taken from an article by Robert Holden, I think he is right on.

Laugh your head off!

How wonderful it is to laugh! Instinctively, we know that there is something magical, nourishing and uplifting about laughter, particularly the warm, whole-hearted laughter that arises spontaneously between friends, loved ones and even occasionally a stranger. The entertainer, Victor Borge, once commented, “laughter is the shortest distance between two people”.

Physicians, philosophers and priests of all cultures have forever acknowledged the healing properties of laughter, a happy frame of mind and a joyful heart. In the Bible, for instance, it is written, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). I like the words, in particular of Jonathan Swift who wrote, “The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet and Doctor Merryman”.

Two thoughts: 1) “The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed, 2) “Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused”. The greatest happiness of all is to know that happiness needs no reason. Indeed,

“Laughter needs no reason.

A smile needs no reason.

Love needs no reason.

Kindness needs no reason.

They are gifts for free –

life’s true treasures.”

Can you remember a time in your life when you were happy for no reason at all? All of a sudden you were surprised by joy. It bubbled up as if from nowhere. Your smile was almost too big for your face, your heart wanted to leap out of your chest, and your whole body rung like a bell. “I’m happy!” you cried. “I wonder why?” you thought. “I must know why?” you demanded. And just then, the joy appeared to die.

Children are often happy without reason – it is a part of their charm. Often you can catch a child laughing for the fun of laughing, smiling for the sake of smiling, playing happily with happiness. It both amuses and saddens me to think that, when a child laughs for no reason at all we think it wonderful, but when an adult laughs for no reason at all we immediately fear for his or her health! The point is, who ever said happiness needs a reason?

Give up all thoughts that happiness needs a reason. Practise “unreasonable happiness.” Laugh for no reason – it will entertain everyone! Smile for no reason – smiling always triggers curiosity.

~~~

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.

Gordon W. Allport

~~~

At his request, each morning three-year-old Ray’s mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt. Immediately in his young imaginative mind the towel became a brilliant magic blue and red cape. And he became Superman. Outfitted each day in his “cape,” Ray’s days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman.

This fact was clearly pointed out last fall when his mother enrolled him in kindergarten class. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name. “Superman,” he answered politely and without pause.

The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again, “Your real name, please.” Again, Ray answered, “Superman.”

Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide amusement, the teacher closed her eyes for a moment, then in a voice quite stern, said, “I will have to have your real name for the records.”

Sensing he’d have to play straight with the teacher, Ray slid his eyes around the room, hunched closer to her, and patting a corner of frayed towel at his shoulder, answered in a voice hushed with conspiracy, “Clark Kent.”

~~~

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Wendell Johnson

~~~

Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, “Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid… you don’t think so? Let me show you.” And he called his driver Ah Beng over and said, “Jim, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes.”

To which Jim replied, “Yes Sir! Right away!” and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, “See, I told you he was stupid.”

The other rich man said, “That’s nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid.” And he called his driver, Ali: “Ali, go home now and check to see if I’m at home.”

Ali said, “Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir” and ran home.

“See what I told you? He doesn’t even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here.”

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Jim said to Ali, “Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes…..Doesn’t he know that today is Sunday?? The showroom is closed!”

Ali replied, “You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is sooo much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home….He’s got a cellphone, right, he can just call home to check!!!!”

~~~

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

Henny Youngman

~~~

There’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was just joking.

Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outraged, fired me. When I left the building for my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink the darn poison …”

~~~

We laugh a lot. That’s for sure. Sure beats the alternative, doesn’t it?

Betty White

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t wait!

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

Napoleon Hill

As I have grown older I am not as patient as I once was. Over the past few years I have resigned from boards and committees that seemed more interested in finding out why we could not do something then they were in introducing positive changes and programs. In my view we can no longer be satisfied with the status quo. I don’t want to participate in situations where folks are so afraid to risk failure that they do nothing. Fortunately I am finding opportunities to be with people lately who are doers and builders, folks who are impatient with those who create barriers to progress.

Yesterday I told you that I had attended an exciting and productive meeting which was the highlight of my day. The meeting was chaired by a leading Indianapolis business man, we were joined by a health service professional, the director of a child program dedicated to improving kids status by using primarily older folks as volunteers for substantive afterschool programs, and the director of what I believe to be the premiere provider of programs for senior adults.

What a pleasure it was to be amongst people who wasted little time finding why things could not be done. The attendees brainstormed, offered support, volunteered to take responsibility to move an idea forward and more. It was great.

These are people who understand that the baby boomers have started to retire, many with substantially less wealth than will provide them a comfortable living as they age, people who can use some caring support. The people around the table at yesterday’s meeting are in the business of providing life enrichment and healthy living to an aging population without the need for seniors to spend more than they can afford. Besides the baby boomers there is no community in America that does not have an existing segment of their population who are struggling as they age. How fortunate I am to live in a city that cares and to be allowed to be part of the process to help alleviate problem.

You know what I think I am going to do? I am going to start thanking people who are giving so much to make life better for others. I am not going to offer thanks just from me, I am going to offer it from us, you and me, and the others like us who also care.

I know many people who would like to do more but don’t know where to start, or wonder if they have anything of value to offer. Trust me everyone has something they can do, not only can we do more with more hands, I have found the old adage that “The more the merrier” is true and there is fun waiting for those who step up.

Here is something Ralph Marston wrote that I like, I hope you will too.

Get the most out of it

Do what must be done when it must be done, and you’ll always be keeping up. Do more than what must be done, before it must be done, and then you’ll always be moving ahead. A little extra effort today can give you a lot of extra advantage tomorrow. Add to that a little more extra effort tomorrow, and the day after that, and soon you’ll be way out in front. The hours and minutes of this day will quickly pass by. While each one is here, you might as well get the very most out of it.

Sure, it can be a little dreary and tedious when you’re working to do what must be done. So add some excitement, enthusiasm and passion to your efforts by challenging yourself to do even more. Go beyond the minimum requirements and find new ways to create maximum value. Instead of just getting by, spend your time and efforts getting great. Don’t be content to merely deal with whatever life hands you. Instead, enthusiastically embrace what comes your way, make the effort and make the commitment to make the very best of it all.

~~~

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”

Leonardo da Vinci

~~~

Top Ten Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Dog

1. If it itches, you can reach it, no matter where it itches.

2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don’t even have to comb your own hair.

4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.

5. No one thinks less of you for burping. Some people might actually think you’re cute.

6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.

7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.

8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.

9. It doesn’t take much to make you happy. You’re always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.

10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.

~~~

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.’ ”

~~~

The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. “You’ve got to help me. I’m losing my memory, Doctor,” he sobbed. “I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community.  But all that’s gone now. Since my memory began failing, I’ve lost the business – I couldn’t remember my clients’ names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn’t they – some nights I wouldn’t get home until four or five in the morning. I’d forget where I lived…And it’s getting worse. Doctor – it’s getting worse!”

“This is not an unusual form of neurosis,” the psychiatrist said soothingly. “Now tell me, just how long ago did you first become aware of this condition?”

“Condition?” The man sat up in his chair. “What condition?”

~~~

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just to enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate.

Thornton Wilder

~~~

An astronomer is on an expedition to Africa to observe a total eclipse of the sun. He’s captured by cannibals. The eclipse is due the next day around noon. To gain his freedom he plans to pose as a god and threaten to extinguish the sun if he’s not released, but his timing has to be perfect. So, in the few words of the cannibals’ primitive tongue that he knows, he asks his guard when they plan to kill him.

The guard’s answer is, “Tradition has it that captives are to be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky on the day after their capture so that they may be cooked and ready to be served for the evening meal.”

“Great,” the astronomer replies.

The guard continues. “But because everyone’s so excited about it, in your case we’re going to wait until after the eclipse.”

~~~

Rather than thinking “if and when”, start doing, take action, stop talking about “if and when”.

Catherine Pulsifer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

The Children need us now!

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

Stacia Tauscher

Here it is midafternoon and I have not written the Daily. I have a good excuse I was in a super productive meeting this morning followed by an errand and then I was busy answering some critical correspondence. Instead of wasting time I am again dipping into the archives to send you a daily from out of the past.

 

Ray’s Daily Published on October 13, 2003

It is a big day today. In Canada our friends are celebrating the Canadian Thanksgiving Day, in the US it is Columbus Day. But most important of all it is Universal Children’s Day around the world. Wouldn’t it be nice if nations thought of their children first. They can’t vote, they have no power, and they are always in the middle of war and conflict. And yet they will be the adults of tomorrow, and will never have the chance to ask questions like this boy did, much less the opportunity to take the advice.

~~~

An eight-year-old boy approached an old man in front of a wishing well, looked up into his eyes, and asked:

“I understand you’re a very wise man. I’d like to know the secret of life.”

The old man looked down at the youngster and replied:

“I’ve thought a lot in my lifetime, and the secret can be summed up in four words

The first is think. Think about the values you wish to live your life by.

The second is believe. Believe in yourself based on the thinking you’ve done about the values you’re going to live your life by.

The third is dream. Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief in yourself and the values you’re going to live by.

The last is dare. Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your belief in yourself and your values. ”

And with that, Walter E. Disney said to the little boy, Think, Believe, Dream, and Dare.

~~~

Children have more need of models than of critics.

Carolyn Coats

~~~

A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work, and everyone was encouraged to bring their children.  All during the sit-down dinner one co-worker’s three -year-old girl stared at the man sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from staring. The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him. He asked her, “Why are you staring at me?” Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response. The little girl said, “I just want to see how you drink like a fish!”

~~~

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

~~~

Fathers Of 1900 vs Fathers Today

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, how to work the digital camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old the country (Romania, Italy, etc.). Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, fathers shook their children awake and said, “Wake up, it’s time to do the milking and chores before school.” Today, kids shake their fathers awake at 4 a.m. shouting, “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table. Today, a father comes home to a note. “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at gym, Pizza in fridge.”

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream. Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles. Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams, “I wanted PlayStation!”

~~~

Someday we’re going to look back at all of this and tape over it.

~~~

A distinguished clergyman and a friend were playing golf.  It was a very close match, and at the last hole the clergyman teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force.  The ball, instead of sailing down the fairway, merely rolled off the tee and settled slowly some twelve feet away. The clergyman frowned, glared, and bit his lip, but said nothing. His opponent regarded him for a moment, and then remarked:  “Father, that is the most profane silence I have ever witnessed.”

~~~

A couple was having a discussion about family finances.  Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”

~~~

Scott and Glenn were trying to measure a telephone pole. Every time one of them would get part way up, he would slide back down. Then along came this really big, muscular guy who asked, “Hey, what are you guys doing?”

Scott replies, “We’re trying to measure the height of this pole.”

The muscular guy wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and tells them, “40 feet,” then walks away.

Glenn turns to Scott and says, “What a stupid idiot—we wanted the height, not the width.”

~~~

How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

~~~

The unhappy bill collector made a personal trip to speak to a man concerning a series of long overdue bills and offer some advice to the guy on managing money. “Why do you let that wife of yours spend so much more money than the two of you make without objecting?” the collector asked.

“Because,” the husband replied. “I’d rather argue with you than with her.”

~~~

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

Henry Miller

~~~

After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, “The revival worked out great for us!  We gained four new families.”

The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that!  We gained six new families.”

The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even better than that!  We got rid of our ten biggest trouble makers!”

~~~

“The beginning is always today.”

Mary Wollstonecraft

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Good for him!

“Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, till what we put off till tomorrow has now become today. So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide.”

I had my pulmonary tests yesterday. They were extensive and I had the good fortune to have the test administered by a gracious professional. During our small talk periods she shared with me that she has a 21 year old son who concerns her. You see he is getting his degree in outdoor management, has spent his summers working at a rustic children’s camp where he thrived, made a difference in kids’ lives and loved what he was doing. He plans on doing humanitarian volunteer work in Haiti soon which will not be his first experience in helping others in need. He was down in New Orleans a number of times after the devastating hurricane and she shared with me other examples of his good works.

Her problem is that she worries about his choices and how they will provide him a comfortable living. She also told me that he has some of the characteristics of Henry Thoreau. I shared with her how lucky I thought she was to have such a son. At a time when far too many of us put off our dreams until later in life, often never even getting there, it is heartening to learn of someone who does more than just talk about pursuing happiness. In this day and age I feel that far too many of us view education primarily as being vocational instead of part of the process of opening the minds of the students to a wide range of life choices. I wish I had not waited to pursue my dreams, sadly some that I did not even realize I had, until late in life.

I recently read someone’s answer to this question asked by a 24 year old, “How do I become satisfied with who I am?” She did not provide her name in her answer but this is what she wrote:

 

You know, no one is perfect, and EVERYONE is far from being perfect. We all have our doubts about life, we all have the mistakes we made, the regrets we have, the things we take for granted that we really shouldn’t.

For example, we all take for granted walking, breathing, hearing, seeing, because it’s an everyday thing for us. What happens if you wake up one morning, you can’t see, you can’t hear, you can’t walk, and you have to have a machine to breathe for you?

I know right now you think all of that is irrelevant, but it really isn’t. You have ONE life to live. And NO ONE knows how long that life is going to last. You have to live every day like it’s your last. Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.

You have to just look back on life, see if it’s really worth pondering about the past and wondering how you can make the past better, or if you should look at the present, towards the future, and start living your life now. Just open your eyes a little and you will see how amazing this world is, how amazing your life can be. You are who you make yourself. Think about it, you can become satisfied with who you are, once you live your life the way you want to live it.

30 year olds can act like 6 year olds; 6 year olds can act like 30 year olds. A 6 year old boy has more faith that we can’t just make a difference in this world, we can CHANGE this world. You are 24 years old; you still have a lot of life to live. How do you want to spend the rest of your days?

 

Oh by the way the tests had good and not so good results. The good news is that my lung functions are really pretty good for a guy my age, the not so good news is that my lung functions are really pretty good for a guy my age and so my insurance will not pay for my vim and vigor restoration process. So now back to the heart docs who also wanted to get me into a program to see what is next.

~~~

Learn to be pleased with everything; with wealth, so far as it makes us beneficial to others; with poverty, for not having much to care for, and with obscurity, for being unenvied.

Plutarch

~~~

Kids rules for life:

Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.” – Michael, age 14

“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” – Joel, age 12

“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.” – Alyesha, age 13

“Never try to baptize a cat.” – Laura, age 13

~~~

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

~~~

We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home.

Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, “You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Most people just take towels.”

~~~

EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD “EXERCISE,” I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH CHOCOLATE.

~~~

“The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, “Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?”

This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?”

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber band-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side, “Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood.” I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.”

~~~

“If one’s life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements. And finally, there is an intense delight in abandoning faulty states of mind and in cultivating helpful ones in meditation.”

Dalai Lama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s latest adventure

“I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.”

Douglas Adams

It is a big day for me today, I am off to the Hospital to be evaluated in order for them to work out a plan to improve me health status. It is not that I don’t like physical therapists; it is just that they don’t understand my leisurely life style. Not only that they show no sympathy for my limitations and generally in the past have made me wonder why they tortured me so. Oh well, my heart doc says the program coupled with a twenty pound weight loss will make me young again and he had not even been drinking when he said it. My pulmonologist said I will be able to do things I have never done before, apparently he does not know that I have cried before. And others have said something like “It serves you right,” whatever that means. Hopefully tomorrow is only the assessment and I will not be tortured until later.

All joking aside, I will do my best since I do want to recapture some of my past vim and vigor. Fortunately I still have the walker they gave me when I had my stroke a few years ago so if I become too sore to walk or feel the need for sympathy I can use it. I do know this is just another step in my aging process that will keep me off the streets for a while and I am committed to doing the best I can to make the years ahead as good as they can be.

I am helped by the inspiration left by others. Here is a life commitment made by Edgar A. Guest that I especially like.

 

My Creed

To live as gently as I can;

To be, no matter where, a man;

To take what comes of good or ill,

And cling to faith and honor still;

To do my best, and let that stand

The record of my brain and hand;

And then, should failure come to me,

Still work and hope for victory.

To have no secret place wherein

I stoop unseen to shame or sin;

To be the same when I’m alone

As when my every deed is known;

To live undaunted, unafraid

Of any step that I have made;

To be without pretense or sham

Exactly what men think I am.

To leave some simple work behind

To keep my having lived in mind;

If enmity to aught I show,

To be an honest, generous foe;

To play my little part, nor whine

That greater honors are not mine.

This I believe is all I need

For my philosophy and creed.

~~~

If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.

Amy Tan

~~~

The kids said:

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” — Anita, age 8

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” — Christine, age 9

“It isn’t always how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything, and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” — Brian, age 7

~~~

The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There’s No Lifeguard

~~~

Things they told me:

1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

3. I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid.

4. I’m not being rude You’re just insignificant.

5. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

6. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

7. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

8. How about never? Is never good for you?

9. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

10. You sound reasonable: Time to up my medication.

11. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

12. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

13. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

14. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

15. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

16. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

17. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

18. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

~~~

Better living through denial.

~~~

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.

“I can’t stop!” she shrilled.  “What should I do?”

“Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”

~~~

“I just recently had my Visa card stolen … Right now it’s everywhere I want to be.”

Scott Wood

~~~

As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-baseline, I asked one of the boys what the score was.

“We’re behind 14 to nothing,” he answered with a smile.

“Really,” I said. “I have to say you don’t look very discouraged.”

“Discouraged?” the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. “Why should we be discouraged? We haven’t been up to bat yet.”

~~~

“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”

Rita Mero

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Empathy is great heart medicine

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?

Henry David Thoreau

As you know I am a big believer in focusing on what is positive in our lives. I think that most often we can make choices that allow us to take advantage of what we do have rather than focusing on what we don’t have. After working with the Salvation Army last week I again realized that it is much easier to find something to appreciate if you have food, shelter and clothing and it is unrealistic or even possibly arrogant for those of us who have those things to advise those that don’t that they should be happier.

If you are like I am you know people who truly are wanting these days with few places to turn. I think it behooves those of us who are doing better to do what we can for those that are not. I know in my case I wish I could do a lot more, but through my volunteer work with the Salvation Army, Kiwanis and others I can do something. Even my modest contributions help.

It is times like this that I think we need to cultivate a universal sense of empathy for those who have little or nothing. Wikipedia defines empathy as the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another person or persons. Someone may need to have a certain amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion.

Just think what our world would be like if hundreds, then thousands and then millions developed such a strong sense of empathy that they then turned it into compassion and then that compassion into action. What if everyone decided they would do at least one charitable act each week, offer a meal, send a check, provide clothing for a child, offer a hand of friendship to the lonely, or one of the hundreds of other ways we can express our love for our fellow man.

Again I don’t want to be too preachy, but one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is the expression of our empathy through a compassionate act. Oh and before I forget I promise you when you are out there you will be rubbing shoulders with some really wonderful people.

For me the following is one of the realities that affect us all.

 

The Slow Economic Bleeding Takes Its Toll

Don Iannone

 

So many small towns

Desperate

Down on their luck

Fallen, and

unable to get back up

No way to revive opportunity

 

I’ve seen their faces…

all those workers, young and old

losing it all, including their dreams

More than they ever imagined–

gone, like a vanishing ghost

leaving them cold and empty

 

Times have been tougher

like the Great Depression

but the slow economic bleeding

is taking its toll everywhere

Hope is still out there, but

wrapped in unfamiliar clothes

~~~

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”

Tahereh Mafi

~~~

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! – posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”

“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.

The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Because”, the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

~~~

There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can’t.

~~~

Like a lot of married men, I got the “You just don’t appreciate me” speech once from my wife.  I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day.  I took her to lunch at Burger King and Dairy Queen for dessert.  She’s never mentioned it since.

~~~

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

~~~

More things I learned from the movies:

If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

~~~

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

Edmund Burke

~~~

Glenn and Scott are bungee-jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Southern California.”

Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel south and set up in a vacant lot. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump. When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn’t able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up. This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up—he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. “What happened?” he asks. “Was the cord too long?”

Glenn catches his breath and replies, “No, the cord was fine, but tell me… what the heck is a piñata?”

~~~

“It’s not so much the journey that’s important; as is the way that we treat those we encounter and those around us, along the way”

Jeremy Aldana

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Life is good!

It’s the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they’re gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it’s my turn to leave.

Tupac Shakur

I hope your day yesterday was as good as mine was. I worked with the Salvation Army downtown as a volunteer for their annual Apple Fest, thousands of dollars were raised that will be used to feed the homeless. I again found that I was able to do more physically then I have been able to do in months. I have recovered enough that they have scheduled me for a full pulmonary evaluation next week as the prelude to rehab.

Naturally I enjoyed greeting all the people I met and got to work with but it got better than that. There were some Ray’s Daily readers that I had not seen in years and there was a former colleague that stopped by and said hello. In all honesty some of these folks I did not even recognize, a sign of old age, poor memory or of outrageous behavior at some time in the past where they noticed me while I was too busy to notice them.

The thing I liked most about yesterday was the attitude of the people who attended. They were all positive and quick to smile, sadly I run into far too many people these days that are negative and quick to frown. I just don’t understand people’s behavior that strikes me as being somewhat masochistic as they work so hard to be unhappy. They really don’t have to be that way but maybe they just never learned that they have the ability to change their outlook. I have been amazed at the transition to a happier life made by some of the people that I have known over the years once they freed themselves of their pessimistic view of their existence.

A few years ago a friend who broke out of her black days sent me the following rules for a happier outlook and a more enjoyable life. I appreciated her reminders and hope you will as well.

 

SOME OF THE STUFF I’VE LEARNED

That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

That life is tough, but we’re tougher.

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones we miss.

That when we harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

That we should keep our words both soft and tender, because tomorrow we may have to eat them.

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve our looks.

That we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose what we do about it.

That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

That the only time we should give advice is when it’s asked for.

~~~

Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

More Rules For Living

1. Never give yourself a haircut.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship “I apologize” and “You are right.”

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her–believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

9. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it’s not that important.

13. And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Age sneaks up on you rather quickly! THAT IS FACT, NOT FICTION!

~~~

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”

Rod Stewart

~~~

Esther wanted a divorce from Irving. The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Irving shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

The best thing about the Future is that it only comes one day at a time!

~~~

As a kid I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, “All you can drink for a dime.” So some kid would come up, plunk down his dime, drink a glass, and say, “Refill it.”

I’d say, “That’ll be another dime.”

“How come? Your sign says — All you can drink for a dime!”

“Well, you had a glass didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s all you can drink for a dime.”

~~~

“To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway.”

~~~

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

~~~

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Look what I got

There are no such things as strangers, only friends we haven’t met yet.

Anonymous

Look at what I got today from my friend Bobbie:

 

Ray:  Thank you for using my comments in today’s Ray’s Daily.  Your outlook on finding happiness during the ‘golden years’ has inspired me to realize that age (or the loss of a spouse) does not limit the opportunities available if we reach out.  I find that children can be too sympathetic when it comes to giving Mom the “push” she might need; they are mainly interested in providing for her daily physical comforts.  It takes a friend to point one in the right direction!  Thank you.

 

My friend is truly a special lady and I am glad our paths crossed not that long ago. I enjoy the few occasions we have met over coffee and look forward to more visits in the future. I am especially grateful for her comments. I think too many of us fail to stop often enough to say thanks, although in this case I feel we both have reason to be thankful.

Bobbie has again taught me the value of being open to those we know and those we don’t for everyone is a latent friend. I do the best I can, or at least I think I do, and I am pleased when someone chooses to move from being an acquaintance to becoming an appreciated friend. Most of us have never met but just the fact that we connect Daily is enough for me to believe that there are hundreds of friends I have yet to make and that is exciting.

I will spend most of the day today downtown helping the Salvation Army celebrate autumn with an Apple Festival where we will treat a large number of Indianapolis folks to some good food with the proceeds of the food sales used to feed the homeless. What I like about today is my being able to meet hundreds of people for the first time who I can greet as a friend and hopefully they will leave being a supporter of the Salvation Army as it does so much for those in need.

~~~

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s home, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

~~~

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.”

Benny Hill

~~~

Two guys talking in a bar: “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.”

“What is she doing ’til 5 a.m?” the pal asked.

“Waiting for me to get home.”

~~~

Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was “uh oh.”

~~~

One Sunday morning an old biker entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old leather jacket and an equally worn out bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old biker had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.  As the biker took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the church needed to do God’s work. As the old biker was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the biker to do him a favor. “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”

The old biker assured the preacher he would. The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and leather jacket. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back t o our church.”

“I did,” replied the old biker. ”

“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?”  asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He says He’s never been here before.”

~~~

“Anyone who doesn’t make mistakes isn’t trying hard enough.”

Wess Roberts

~~~

It was moving day. The previous owners were going to finish moving out that morning, and we were going to start moving in that afternoon.

We showed up just as they were finishing up, around lunchtime. The couple was sitting down for a breather before they left, The wife suggested to her husband that they go to McDonald’s for lunch. She told us with guilty pleasure, “I know it’s not good for me, but I just love burgers and fries.” Her husband had a somewhat disgusted look on his face. He told us, in all seriousness, “Not me. I’m a meat and potatoes man.”

~~~

“The Law of Self Sacrifice” When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

~~~

A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. “They’re all fine,” Moshe said, “Except my uncle. He’s very sick.”

“Your uncle is not sick,” the faith healer said. “He THINKS he’s sick.”

Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. “How is your uncle getting along?” he asked.

Moshe shrugged, “He THINKS he’s dead.”

~~~

A friend is one with whom you are comfortable, to whom you are loyal, through whom you are blessed, and for whom you are grateful.

William Arthur Ward

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Do you hoot?

The man who doesn’t relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.

Elbert Hubbard

 

I had coffee with a friend the other day that lost her husband a few years ago. It took her sometime to adjust but she decided that just sitting around her home every day was not the answer. A few months ago she took a basic computer course which has resulted in her enjoying life in cyberspace. She also has taken exercise and skills building classes, widened her group of friends and even is traveling more. I loved her growing enthusiasm and to see how well she has taken advantage of the possible and has not been held back by age, health problems or the loss of her lifetime partner.

One thing she said struck a nerve, she told me she had a twinge of guilt if she surfed the internet for a couple of hours since in the past she would fill those hours with constant household chores. What I liked was that these were passing thoughts and that she realized she did not have to clean that often and that her enjoyment of her life was more important. She got me to thinking about how, many of us let ourselves get trapped in routine and ritual. Life should not be so scripted that we have no time for improvisation and personal enjoyment.

In truth self-imposed excessive burdens are not limited to those of us in our golden years, they are just as likely to stifle the new parent, the workaholic, the student, in reality almost anybody. Here is what a new mother wrote recently as the result of her feeling overwhelmed with her obligations which was allowing her little time to invest in herself.

The Direct Route to Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up with the never ending to-do lists, or the demands of other people wanting your time, or the guilt of things you think you “should” be doing. But if we take a moment to slow down, to reflect, to clear our minds, we will realize that many of the things we do, and many of the things that seemingly cause us stress do not add any value to our wellbeing. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “What do I want?” and the answer is likely a derivative of “I want to be happy.“

So instead of being busy, instead of doing, instead of rushing to get there, just decide to be happy, right Now! Make the feeling of Joy and Happiness your primary focus as you walk through your day, regardless of what you are doing. Focus on things that make you feel good. Focus on the goodness and blessings in your life. Look for things to be appreciative of, and mentally point out all that you are thankful for in any moment.

If you catch yourself feeling stressed out or overwhelmed, stop what you are doing and (optionally) close your eyes. Take a few deep breathes – fully inhale and slowly exhale – and ask yourself, “I want to feel good. What can I do right now to feel good?” and focus on feeling good and follow your inner voice.

The other day, I felt distracted and pressured, and then I asked myself what I wanted to do at that moment, and my inner voice said to play the song Sweet Lullaby by Deep Forest. For me, the song represents hope, inspiration and adventure. I instantly felt upbeat and started dancing to its tunes in my office. A sense of relief washed over me physically and calmed my emotional being. I felt refreshed right away. In that moment, I came away with the following realization:

“Stop doing what you think you should be doing.

Do what you want to do, do what makes you feel good,

do what you feel inspired to do.

Remember that in your world, you make up the rules.

Stress is optional.“

Tina Su

~~~

The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.

Author Unknown

~~~

Things I learned at the hospital:

  • Little is a medical term that is not defined the same as in Webster’s dictionary, for example “this may be a little uncomfortable,” “this may sting a little,” “you may feel a little burning sensation,” and “there may be a little post-op pain.”
  • All staff meetings are held outside of open hospital room doors between the hours of 1 AM and 4 AM.
  • A requirement not to leave the hospital bed for eight hours is a highly effective Diuretic but having to pee in a little plastic bottle while lying in bed is an art and not a science.
  • Hospital food has one great attribute; it makes everything you eat after having one seem so much better.

~~~

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

~~~

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!”

When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!”

And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS…AMEN!”

But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet, and one turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”

~~~

“I tell ya, a lot of people are in bad shape. A guy stopped me in the street the other day. He told me he hasn’t eaten in five days. I told him, I said, ‘I wish I had your will power.'”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to

the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.” The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

~~~

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

How is your legacy going?

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

William James

I had a great day Sunday. The weather was fantastic, cool, sunny, a perfect fall day. What made it even better was my working with fellow members of my Kiwanis Club cooking and serving Hot Dogs and Brats at a Village Festival just north of Indianapolis. Our work earned us money that we will use to provide needed winter clothing to additional children during our annual Clothe-A-Child event.

It was the first time in months that I was able to stand for hours, walk some distances and function with only limited physical discomfort, it was great. I was pleased to have the opportunity to test my physical status since I will be reporting to my Heart Doc later this morning as part of the review that will determine the next step in my recovery.

The other thing that made the day special was realizing how fortunate we are to have my friend Bob in our club. You see Bob recruited the cooks and servers, acted as liaison with the Village Association, secured hundreds of Brats and Dogs, purchased supplies, handled the logistics and worked the whole day. When Bob arrived I saw that his car was loaded front and back with food, cooking utensils and more. While I only put in a few hours, Bob put in days preparing for the event and this was not the first time for you see Bob has done this and more time after time resulting in our ability to help lots of kids have a happier Christmas each year. Not only that Bob has been our club president and has been ready to help whenever asked. Bob also sponsored a retired Marine Colonel and a respected Business Consultant for membership, the retired Marine is now the Mayor of Indianapolis and the Business consultant is our current club president.

Someone reminded me recently that often our actions leave a much wider mark over time than we may realize. One event can create a ripple effect that goes beyond the initial activity. You see years ago I met Bob and one day asked him to be my guest for breakfast at one of my Kiwanis meetings. Not long after I sponsored him for membership and the rest is history. Today there are hundreds who have benefited from what Bob has done as a Kiwanian because I had offered him the opportunity to join me for breakfast years ago. In my more than thirty years of membership I have invited many friends and acquaintances to be my guest for breakfast at a Kiwanis meeting and over the years those who have joined have helped to make Indianapolis a better place. I may not be able to do as much as I would like to do these days but I take pride in the work of so many others that said yes when I asked them to be my guest for breakfast.

If you are involved in something you value, why not ask a friend to be your guest for breakfast and share the opportunity with them. If we all do so we will leave a legacy of service that will go on for generations.

Oh and before I forget, thanks Bob for all you do, you are special and a wonderful role model.

~~~

We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

Chuck Palahniuk

~~~

Sharon tells us the “10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES.”

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 1-800-”

6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space.”

8. You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

~~~

“Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He’ll probably lie about other things too.”

~~~

“When a woman says she’ll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game just has five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.”

~~~

“There are bigger things in life than money — bills, for instance.”

~~~

Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made. When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth.

So Moisha explained. “We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth.”

The customs official shook his head and said, “Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?”

Moisha then said “Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.

The customs official slapped his head and then said, “You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?”

“Well to tell you the truth, once in a while I like a ham sandwich.”

~~~

People may fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame someone else.

~~~

Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of his parent’s house.  One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for his father. “He’s not here,” Ronnie said.

The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, “I’ll bet next time they’ll leave the key for you.”

~~~

“I always avoid prophesying beforehand because it is much better to prophesy after the event has already taken place. “

Sir. Winston Churchill

~~~

The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away. The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the boat. The next day at the university, a colleague asked the philosopher if he had enjoyed fishing with the Pope. “It was okay, but would you believe that guy can’t swim?”

~~~

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

~~~

An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples.

A student asked, “What’s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?”

“Tense,” she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again… “What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter…”

~~~

“The little bit you and me might change the world,” Malloy smiled, “it wouldn’t show up until a hundred years after we were dead. We’d never see it.” “But it’d be there.”

James Jones, From Here to Eternity

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

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