Ray's musings and humor

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;

the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

OK, today we are playing hooky, no serious stuff, work has to wait because I have decided I am going to have fun and I hope you will too.

What would happen

if we decided to have fun today?

You know

Sing while walking down the street

Maybe even throw some leaves

Oh my! Would the world end?

Laughing at ourselves and

dancing in the kitchen

Oh I know!

How about dancing

with our dog!

What do ya say?

Want to have some fun today?

by Cindy Tuttle

If you need some ideas for something to do you might try these:

  • Act like a spy / secret agent for the day, when at work or out and about ?
  • Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera whilst shouting their name ?
  • Make up crazy facts about random things and tell them to strangers as though you are very smart.
  • Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud “When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay” and see how many people say “ho”
  • Pick a random person and worship them for the day!
  • Sit on the sidelines and cheer the people on

Or do what I will probably do, watch an old comedy, go out and people watch and possibly call an old friend or two just to tell them Hi!

 

Things not to do

  • Lay down on the train tracks.
  • Stick your head in a crocodiles mouth.
  • Eat glass.
  • Skateboard on the high way.
  • Jump in front of a car.

So what about tomorrow? I’ll worry about that when I get there for today I am going to play!

~~~

The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed

Nicolas De Chamfort

~~~

The Boudreauxs are driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. Marie is behind the wheel. Boudreaux suddenly looks across at her and speaks in his clear Cajun voice. “Darlin’,” he says. “I know we ben’ married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”

Marie says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

Boudreaux speaks again. “I doan want you to try to tok me out of it,” he says, “’cause ah ben havin’ anaffair wit you best friend, Tu-tutt, an’ she’s a far betta’ lover den you are.”

Again Marie stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.

He pushes his luck. “I want duh house”, he says insistently.

Up to 60…

“I want duh car too,” he continues.

65 mph…

“An’,” he says. “I’ll have duh bank accounts, all duh credit cards an’ duh boat.” The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This make him a wee bit nervous, so he asks  her, “Isn’t dere anyting’ you want?”

Marie at last replies — in a quiet and controlled voice. “No, I got everyting I need,” she says.

“Really?” he inquires with a smile, “so what you got?”

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, Marie turns to him and smiles. ” Duh airbag!”

~~~

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Mark Twain

~~~

Rabbi Morris has just resigned and Irving, the synagogue president, goes to visit him. “Rabbi,” Irving says, “I’ve just heard the news. I’m really sorry that you’ve decided to leave us.”

“Don’t worry,” says Rabbi Morris, “you’ll have nothing to worry about. I’m going to recommend a successor whom I believe will be better than me.”

“But that’s exactly what’s worrying me,” says Irving, “your predecessor told me exactly the same thing.”

~~~

Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years.

~~~

My friend’s husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores.  One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet that read: “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.”

The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper.  The note read: “Neither does Bob Vila.”

~~~

You have to choose happiness; It doesn’t chose you.

~~~

She said: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.  Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied.  “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang.  I answered it to hear my husband asking, “Yeah, hi, Honey.  Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

~~~

“A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.”

Gore Vidal

~~~

The old man had died.  A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

~~~

We don’t stop playing because we turn old, but turn old because we stop playing.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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