Ray's musings and humor

So long September

“There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir, We must rise and follow her;

When from every hill of flame, She calls and calls each vagabond by name”

William Bliss Carman

Wow, can that be right? The last day of September already! I have to quit spending so much time with Doctors, Hospitals, Clinics and the like since so much happens while I spend time reading in waiting rooms. I did notice that we are into Indiana’s traditional psychotic weather period, our answer to the Bermuda Triangle, if I look out the window and it is bright and sunny I know it will be raining by the time I open the garage door. I really should not complain though, my doctors have told me I needed more exercise and I get that by taking jackets and sweaters on and off during the rapid temperature changes. I wonder if this is Gods way of helping me better understand menopause.

Well anyway it will be October when we next communicate and since I fear that November may sneak up just a few days later I have decided to lay out my plans for participating in Octobers important events. So here goes, October is:

American Pharmacist Month − This one is really important to me since I see my pharmacist about as often as I see my wife. I have been struggling trying to decide what to get him for our twentieth anniversary together.

Apple Jack Month – I can’t celebrate this one, all I can say is that the world made a lot more sense when I was allowed to drink!

Awareness Month – WHAT! WHERE! WHO! Damn I missed it again!

Computer Learning Month – I gave up on this one last year. I could not find even one school that would accept my computer as a student.

Cookie Month – I found out they mean the kind you eat, you just can’t go around hollering “Hey cookie what’s up” to strangers of the opposite sex.

Eat Country Ham Month, National Pizza Month, National Vegetarian Month and National Diabetes Month – Do you think they all take place at the same time for a reason?

National Popcorn Popping Month – OK, I got ready to really get into this one when I discovered that all the popcorn I had bought had passed the expiration date. I don’t care what they say, next year I am popping the corn the month I buy it and I will not wait until corn popping month again.

Sarcastic Month – I know it is the month to do so but I would appreciate it if you kept your comments on my behavior to yourself, I have a wife who provides me all the sarcasm I need, thank you very much.

Seafood Month – I have never forgiven the friend who clarified this meant something from the sea and did not mean I should eat everything I can see.

But no matter how you decide to spend your October I hope it is a wonderful month for you and that you find happiness and joy for despite what others may say there is delight to be found in nature beginning it’s hibernation in one last blast of color as we find warmth in our favorite sweater and companionship with our valued friends.

~~~

October, here’s to you. Here’s to the heady aroma of the frost-kissed apples, the wine-y spell of ripened grapes, the wild-as-the-wind smell of hickory nuts and the nostalgic whiff of that first wood smoke.

Ken Weber

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Seen on a headstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

SUCCESS:

    At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

At age 35 success is . . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 60 success is . . . having sex.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

~~~

October gave a party;

The leaves by hundreds came –

The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples,

And leaves of every name.

The Sunshine spread a carpet,

And everything was grand,

Miss Weather led the dancing,

Professor Wind the band.

George Cooper, “October’s Party”

~~~

A friend of mine tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn’t to use the stairs until the cast came off. Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery.

“Oh good,” he responded. “Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?”

“Yes,” said the doctor, “if you will promise to be careful.”

“I can’t tell you what a relief it will be,” he sighed. “It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!”

~~~

“Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits, Take care of your garden And keep out the weeds, Fill it with sunshine, Kind words, and Kind deeds.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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