Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2011

One more day

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

Dolly Parton

Unfortunately my recovery is a little slower than expected so my return to the outside world will be delayed another day. The good news is that tomorrow is Saturday and I should be able to make my weekly trip to the Farmers Market where I will pick up some fantastic Indiana grown produce and when I return to a normal diet next week I will savor the best food around.

Having to stay in another day is not a total loss as my replacement smart phone is going to be delivered and we will see if I am smart enough to make it do all that my lost phone did. We are pretty confident that once I get it working we will find the original.

Oh well, life goes on. Sometimes it does not go as well as we would like, I have been especially challenged of late, but it does go on. The ups and downs add texture, while friends and family provide the safe haven. As I thought about it all I remembered the following piece that I think describes the elements that can make our lives bearable and pleasurable. I don’t know who wrote it but I am glad they did.

 

Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!

~~~

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to bring you joy.”

~~~

A elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone he said, “There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he has.” They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, “Now there’s a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to hell, he has.”

The little boy thought for a while and then said, “You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky.”

“Why?” asked the old man in surprise.

“Well, whichever place you go to, you’ll have some money to draw on.”

~~~

“Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. I think that is the only way to keep adding to one’s talent, and one’s inner happiness.”

George Sand

~~~

She said: My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master bedroom to save us from fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He cut through the drywall and found a stash of bottles and small boxes inside the wall.

“Honey!” he called excitedly. “You’ve got to come here and see what I found.”

I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole that now led into the back of our medicine cabinet.

~~~

Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife.

~~~

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.”

She wasn’t selected for the jury.

~~~

You never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him.

Lou Holtz

~~~

A minister planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service, had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

“Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” he asked.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

~~~

“May you live all the days of your life.”

Jonathan Swift

~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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I will escape tomorrow!

“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”

George Patton

 

Today will be my last day of home confinement so tomorrow I’ll drive and break out at least for a while. My new phone should be delivered tomorrow as well so I will be challenged setting it up and rebuilding it to the same state as the one that is hiding. While I really like the Blackberry Torch I find that it is not always as user friendly in the set up as I would like. This is due to its hundreds of options and features so hopefully when we next visit on Monday I will be with a working smart phone and will have benefited from some weekend socialization. Later in the day I will be off to pulmonary wonderland hoping the wizard can work some magic and restore my exuberance.

While I do my best to always stay positive sometimes it is not all that easy. It is at those times that I realize how hard it must be for those who have little these days, joblessness, home loss, lack of health insurance, and a turbulent world can really take folks down. The bottom line is that it takes work to cope and keep from succumbing to despair. The other day I got an article written by Alice Landry offering tips on how to stay emotionally healthy that I think is worth sharing. Here in part is what she wrote:

 

Emotional health refers to your overall psychological wellbeing. People who are emotionally healthy handle stress well, deal with challenges as opportunities, have a positive self-image, and are able to sustain healthy relationships. Review the following tips on how to stay emotionally healthy.

Laugh often. – Emotional benefits of laughter include feeling a sense of contentment and joy, shifting your perspective to a positive outlook, giving you more courage and hope, dissolving tense situations, and improving overall mood.

Do frequent feelings checks. – Determine how you feel when you wake up in the morning. If the feeling is negative, figure out what’s causing it and take steps to resolve the unsettling situation. Reorient your emotions with affirmations and confidence to set a new tone for the day.

Focus on the positive. – Admit any negative feelings you may have, deal with them, and move on. Do not dwell on circumstances from the past or those you cannot control. Say positive affirmations and keep inspirational quotes handy. Remember that what you focus on is what you will attract in life, so put your energy toward that which you desire, not what you don’t want.

Stay socially connected. – Involving yourself in projects and activities with family, friends, or the general community is a strong aspect of wellness at any age. Pick an interest that you would like to learn more about, join a club focused on that particular hobby, and form connections with those involved. Social networking websites also offer an outlet for creating relationships based on similar interests.

Channel your feelings productively. – If you feel acutely angered or overwhelmed, instead of harboring negative emotions, release built-up tension through activities such as running, writing in a journal, or transforming stress into motivation to achieve your goals.

Avoid all or nothing thinking. – Thinking in terms of black and white absolutes instead of shades of grey is a common element of depression. Words like disastrous, terrible, ruined, and never should be red flag signs that you may be thinking catastrophically. Situations may be unfortunate, but not a complete end-of-the-world disaster. Consider the point that even smart people don’t always make the best choices. You can learn from your mistakes and consciously choose a healthier path next time.

~~~

Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts.  It’s what you do with what you have left.

Hubert Humphrey

~~~

She said: On my four year old daughter’s first trip to Disneyland she couldn’t wait too get on Mr Toad’s Wild Ride. As the car zoomed through crazy rooms, into the path of a speeding train, and through walls that fell away at the last second, she clutched the little steering wheel in front of her.

When the ride is over she said to me a little shakily, “Next time, you drive, I didn’t know where I was going!”

~~~

There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time.

There is always something to see, something to hear.

John Cage

~~~

The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is about 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers.  However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being . . . well, a little strange.

While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

~~~

Never read the fine print. There ain’t no way you’re going to like it.

~~~

Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school.  When the boy reached the age of fourteen, Stewart wrote him the following letter:

“Dear son, now that you have reached the magic age of fourteen, the time has come to tell you about the bees and flowers.  There is a male and a female bee, although I haven’t the slightest idea which is which. As for the flowers – we get ours from the Plaza Florist, Inc.

Well, that takes care of that.

Write soon, Affectionately,

Father

~~~

I am worried about my finances. They are now sending me pre-rejected credit cards.

~~~

The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon.

One day, she asked him why.

“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“And how come He doesn’t do it?” she asked.

~~~

I told my wife she’d have to make my paycheck go further, so…..she she took it to Hawaii.

~~~

She said: Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said with appreciation. “It’s my old Plymouth!”

~~~

Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.

Wilfred Peterson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Shall we dance?

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tunes without the words

And never stops –at all.

Emily Dickinson

 

I am back after my cardiac catheterization exam yesterday. The good news is that what blockage I have does not warrant any corrective action so both my cardiac electro-physiologists and cardiovascular docs have passed me on to the pulmonologists and I go in to see them next Monday. I have been avoiding too my physical activity as instructed by my docs, I am now wondering if I may have cured myself and don’t know it so after I have completed my post op procedures in a day or two, I am going to again hit them streets and see how I am doing.

My latest miss adventure has been the loss of my smart phone somewhere in my house. We have looked high and low and not found it, since my life is managed via my phones stored data I have had to order a replacement. Of course with a year left on my contract, no insurance and an expensive Blackberry Torch all I could see was hundreds of dollars going out of our savings. Fortunately I found an on-line ATT agent that took me through a number of gyrations that looks like have reduced me replacement cost to less than $100. Now I need to help my wife feel good about her birthday yesterday with her gifts being Lovenox syringes at a cost of hundred dollars each so I can administer my post op injections and now an additional gift of a replacement phone for me. To get away from her having to sacrifice I am giving her an IOU for a deferred birthday bash at our local casino and horse track.

Here are some thoughts from the past; hopefully I’ll be back up to full speed tomorrow.

Ray’s Daily August 18, 2004

As I was getting my weekly Iron IV at the hospital yesterday I again noticed how upbeat the cancer patients were as they received their chemo treatments. Since I had just started reading Studs Turkel’s book on hope I could not help thinking about the great difference that hope makes in our lives. I am not talking about hope like the one we have when we say we hope to win the lottery, or that our team wins, or that I get good grades on my test. The kind of hope I mean is hope that tells us not to give up, the kind that reminds us that there is always hope.

In today’s world we need to know that there is hope that we can again achieve peace and that we can again enjoy our lives. They say that hope springs eternal yet so many seem to give up hope. Often it is not a case of believing that all will go bad, rather it is case of resignation. I often think that we have come to believe in an either/or world. You’re either are a pessimist or you are an optimist, you’re either are my enemy or my friend. But in the real world it is not that simple. We can lack optimism without becoming pessimists; if we just give up, we are neither.

Even if the odds are great that all will not be well, we still have hope. If we decide that there is no hope, you can almost guarantee that there won’t be. With hope we can face another day. With hope we often can work miracles. So never give up, we need you too badly.

~~~

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.

Samuel Smiles

~~~

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”

Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

~~~

Never wave to your friends at an auction.

~~~

Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

Bob says, “I lied about my age.”

His friends respond, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”

~~~

Until Eve arrived, this was a man’s world.

~~~

A recent transplant to the mountains of North Carolina writes:

The folks around these parts have a peculiarity that drives me nutty. You ask them an “either/or” question, and their answer is– “That’ll be fine!” I asked a lady the other night who was coming through my register at Wal-Mart, “Ma’am, would you like your milk in a bag or not?”

“That’ll be fine,” was her reply.

I looked quizzically at her, and asked, “Does that mean ‘yes’ or ‘no’?” “I said that that’ll be fine,” was her answer. Since I was holding it up in my hand, out of a bag, I decided to assume that “that” in this case meant “that naked jug of milk that you’re holding in your hand, not in a bag.”

This feeling was further reinforced by a slight nod of the head towards the jug just as she said the word “that’ll.”  I set the jug in the buggy without putting it in a sack.

“I *said* I wanted it in a bag,” she complained. “You want me to shout it or write it down for you?

“That’ll be fine!” I replied.

~~~

Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

~~~

When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. “For example, she’ll do the wrong page in the workbook,” the teacher explained, “and I’ve even found her sitting in the wrong desk.”

“I don’t understand that,” I replied defensively. “Where could she have gotten that?”

The teacher went on to reassure me that my daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likeable. Finally, after a pause, she added, “By the way, our appointment was for tomorrow.”

~~~

Q: Why are men like blenders?

A: You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

~~~

Her Philosophy of Housecleaning

I don’t do windows because … I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. (I am compassionate.)

I don’t wax floors because … I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me. (I am careful and

poor.)

I don’t mind the dust bunnies because … they are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. (I am imaginative.)

I don’t disturb cobwebs because … I want every creature to have a home of their own and my family loves spiders. (I am kind.)

I don’t Spring Clean because … I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous. (I am fair-minded.)

I don’t plant a garden because … I don’t want to get in God’s way, He is an excellent designer. (I am courteous.)

I don’t put things away because … my family will never be able to find them again. (I am considerate.)

I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don’t iron because … I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”. (I am trusting.)

I don’t stress much on anything because … “A Type” personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol’ woman!!!!

~~~

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Fast today, hospital tomorrow

Patience is the greatest of all virtues.

Cato the Elder

 

Today is pre-op day (self-administered shot) and then off to the hospital early in the morning for my Cardiac Catheterization. I should only be in the hospital for the day baring any complications, after which I’ll be grounded for a day or two. I did get out briefly this weekend a couple of times and I was glad for cabin fever was setting in big time.

This will be my third Cardiac Cath procedure and other than fasting, my pre and post op injections and some discomfort it is not that big a deal. The good news is that it will be progress, they will either find something to correct of they will eliminate my cardiovascular system as being responsible for my problems and they will pass me on to the pulmonary docs.

On occasion I have been criticized for appearing to take my many medical adventures too lightly. It is not that I don’t realize their seriousness it is just that I find it useless to worry over what I can’t control. What is important is my readiness to deal with the results whatever they may be; it serves no purpose to anticipate the outcomes. In my case I’ll see what happens and deal with it then. When the outcome is great or even better than expected it is time to celebrate, if the outcome is not, then it is time to deal with whatever needs to be done while not wasting time and energy agonizing over reality.

So I will be off early in the morning to enjoy spending time with some neat caregivers and gathering the information needed to deal with the future. I am fortunate to have all of the help at my disposal, I wish everyone did. I hope you’ll forgive me for no Daily tomorrow since I’ll be somewhat sedated and semi lucid, I should be back in action on Wednesday, see you then.

~~~

Experience has taught me this, that we undo ourselves by impatience.

Misfortunes have their life and their limits, their sickness and their health.

Michel de Montaigne

~~~

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self-pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me.  The whole world hates me!”

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: “That’s not true, Mary. Lots of people don’t even know you.”

~~~

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

~~~

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. However, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Meanwhile, the Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans while the Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Apparently, speaking English is what kills you.

~~~

“There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.”

~~~

This woman’s husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left.

The friend says, “How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be broke?”

The widow says, “Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And of course I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone.”

The friend says, “$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness, how big was it?”

Extending her left hand, the widow says, “Three carats.”

~~~

Middle age is a time when it takes longer to rest than it does to get tired

~~~

A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client.

A note was attached that stated: “This bill is one year old.”

By return mail the lawyer had his bill back.

To it was attached a card which read: “Happy Birthday.”

~~~

“A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.”

H.L. Mencken

~~~

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working.

Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

“Give this to your husband,” he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. “He’s been yelling for it for 15 minutes!”

~~~

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

~~~

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk, so the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.”

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk’s wife greets them at the door: “Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where’s his wheel chair?”

~~~

“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse.

And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.”

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am truly grateful to the chicken

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

Swedish Proverb

I lucked out again! I was diagnosed as having some intestinal problems that require my staying in close proximity to bathrooms. Why is that good news you may ask. It is because I was already down with my other problems so I can deal with both at the same time rather than separately at a later date. Heck I probably will be shedding some unneeded weight and that is a good thing.

The combination of my now prescribed diet and my pre-op fast planned for next Monday also allows me to test my imagination skills. My diet for the next day or two bars me from any real food. Yep, I am on the clear broth, Jello, light tea and Popsicle diet. The menu for last night’s dinner included a prime rare Popsicle, a perfectly prepared and presented clear broth, topped off with gourmet a Jello dessert. All this was accompanied by a crystal flute of vintage Citrus Green Tea. I believe that this morning’s breakfast is going to be perfectly prepared Jello accompanied by a large portion of fresh banana Popsicle. The best part is that if my stomach behaves with this rich diet for a few more hours I will be able to add a slice of freshly toasted bread at the midday meal.

All joking aside, in truth this is really not that bad and considering the starvation that is running rampant these days I am grateful that I have anything to eat. I am again reminded how our lives are so much more livable when we put things in perspective. In that spirit I am offering some more wisdom from Ralph Marston. Here is what he wrote:

 

Feel that way

What would your life be like if you were living at the most meaningful and fulfilled level you can imagine? If you want to be that way, then choose to feel that way.

Your desires are yours because of the way you expect they will make you feel. Yet no matter what your outside situation may be, your inner feelings are yours to choose in any flavor, at any time, in any circumstance.

By choosing the feelings that resonate with your dreams, you give real substance and life to those dreams. By deciding to feel that way, you become that way. Though it may seem sometimes your feelings simply come over you, that’s not the way it happens. Whatever you feel is what you have, by habit or by intention, chosen to feel.

So instead of feeling hopeless, decide to feel empowered. Instead of feeling angry or bitter, frustrated or fearful, choose to feel determined and effective.

Allow your most positive, affirming feelings to fill your awareness. And ride along with those feelings as

they find real expression in the substance of your life.

~~~

“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily.  “So it is.”  “And freezing.”  “Is it?”

“Yes,” said Eeyore.  “However,” he said, brightening up a little, “we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”  A.A. Milne

~~~

The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: “What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?”

One of the brightest students in the class wrote: “0% financing.”

~~~

“Always ride the horse in the direction it’s going.”

~~~

My young nephew Anthony called me one morning with exciting news.  After years of apartment dwelling, his family was moving to a house.  “It has a big backyard and a swing set,” he said.

Wanting to know the name of the town, I asked, “Where is it?”

He hesitated for a moment, clearly not sure.  Then he said, “In escrow.”

~~~

One thing you can give and still keep…is your word.

~~~

George, a career Army officer I once met, was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and, after a while, George called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.

“How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn’t handle the smooth landing?” asked George.

“Well, Sir,” one trainee explained, “we’ve always jumped out of planes. We’ve never actually landed before.”

~~~

It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.

~~~

Weight Loss Tips, How to weigh yourself.

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner … as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost overnight.

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don’t forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off … to your advantage.

5. Always go to the bathroom first.

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

7. Don’t eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you’ve weighed in, completely naked, of course.

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped on normally.

~~~

“A smile is the beginning of peace.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

She said: I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. “I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”

~~~

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

Arthur Rubinstein

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Great! A new day and a fresh start

Life is like a coin.  You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.

Lillian Dickson

Desiderata is a prose poem written by Max Ehrmann in 1927.  Its wise council has been guiding good folks ever since. Someone sent me a copy a few years ago where it has sat gathering dust for far too long. It is not something to be read quickly but rather each thought should be savored and then stored in our memory for the advice given has the potential to make each of our lives even better than they already are. And you know what, if we follow the suggestions we will like ourselves even more than we do now.

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

~~~

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

~~~

Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, “I’m sorry about not speaking more clearly. I’ve had Novocaine.”

“You should have used the drive-through, then,” she said. “Why?” I replied

“Everyone who goes through sounds like you,” she explained.

~~~

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

~~~

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service.”

~~~

“If you scatter thorns, don’t go barefoot.” Italian Proverb

~~~

She said: In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup… gonna be a bear.

~~~

It’s easy to make a buck, but hard to make a difference.

Tom Brokaw

~~~

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA.  As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Thank goodness,” returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin on his face from ear to ear, “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.”

~~~

Act my age?  I’ve never BEEN my age before! I have no experience.

~~~

A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer.

“I’m going to inspect your farm.”

The old farmer said, “You better not go in that field.”

The Ag representative said in a wise tone, “I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land.”

So, the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer’s prize bull. The bull was madder than a full nest of hornets and the bull was gaining at every step.

The old farmer called out, “Show him your card!”

~~~

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Samuel Johnson

~~~

A rabbi suffers a severe flu attack and is confined to the hospital for several weeks.

The synagogue’s president pays him a visit. “I want you to know, Rabbi, that last night the board of directors voted a resolution wishing you a speedy recovery. . . …And it passed, twelve to nine.”

~~~

The philosophy of mine earth can be summed up as this:  Sunshine creates happiness, and I create myself.  Nights are long and life is predominantly good.  Wind is refreshing.  Tea is wisdom.  Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.

Jessi Lane Adams

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

One more time

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”

Etty Hillesum

The results of my day of tests yesterday were inconclusive. Yep, I survived my Nuclear Stress Test at my favorite (well used anyway) heart hospital. The good news is that I survived the test and do not glow in the dark, the somewhat distressing news is that I left the same way I came in slow, with heavy breathing not caused by any of the female staff.

But I did not leave empty handed. I had pages of instruction on preparing for my next adventure, a Cardiac Catheterization next Tuesday morning in another area of the Heart Center. I hate to admit it but this is not one of my favorite things to do. It is not just the fact that they insert a catheter near my most private area and then run their little camera up into the heart to see what’s up; it is also that I get to self-administer a series of pre and post operation Lovenox shots in my somewhat voluminous belly.

Since I have not had the energy to sin recently I assume that the penance that I will be experiencing next week means that I am owed one. Of course the difficulty is trying to figure out a sin I am still capable of undertaking. It might be wiser to just use it as a credit for one in my past that I no longer remember.

In truth these are the times when I am somewhat ambivalent about desired outcomes. Do I want them to find something that they need to correct surgically or do I want them to eliminate a cardiac problem so I can move on to the next guy, in my case that would be my pulmonologist. The tough part right now is that the docs are saying the cruise that I am scheduled to take next month is likely out of the question. I can have my wife take me to our complex’s swimming pool, set me in a chair and give me a cool drink, later fix a five course dinner and then provide some entertainment as a substitute for cruising. However I think I’ll pass since it is far too hot to sit in the sun, my wife quit cooking years ago and neither she nor I have any talent that would pass even the most minimal entertainment test.

But as I always say in every adverse situation there is a complimentary benefit. In this case canceling the cruise will provide cash savings that will somewhat offset our plummeting life savings that is the result of the stock market nosedive. So my friends besides looking forward to being with you each day I also am confident that my rejuvenation while maybe taking longer than expected, will come. In the meantime keep smiling, I know I will.

~~~

“The healthiest response to life is laughter”

Deepak Chopra

~~~

A woman in my office, recently divorced after years of marriage, signed up for a refresher course in CPR.

“Is it hard to learn?” asked someone.

“Not at all,” my co-worker replied.  “All you’re asked to do is breathe life into a dummy.  I don’t expect to have any problems.  I did that for 32 years.”

~~~

There are two rules for ultimate success in life. Never tell everything you know.

~~~

The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling.

CAREFULL!!!  CAREFULL!!!  MORE OIL!!!  TURN THEM!!!

TURN THEM NOW!!!  WE NEED MORE OIL!!!  THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFULL!!!  CAREFULL!!!  TURN THEM!!!

TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!!  ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!  THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!!  THE SALT!!!!”

The wife was very upset, “What is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don’t know how to fry an egg?”

The husband calmly replied, “This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me…”

~~~

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”

Albert A. Grant

~~~

Scott and Glenn went on a fishing trip. They rented all the equipment: reels, rods, wading suits, rowboat, car, even a cabin in the woods. They spent a fortune.

The first day they went fishing and didn’t catch anything. The same thing happened on the second day and the third. It went on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, Scott caught a fish. Driving home they were really depressed.

Scott turned to Glenn and said, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?”

Glenn replied, “Wow! It’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”

~~~

I had amnesia once — or twice.

~~~

A man was being proselytized by group of friends:

“Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind’s relationship to God.”

“I’m married; I learned long ago that my opinions don’t matter.”

“But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?”

“Wherever my wife tells me to.”

~~~

I really wish my supermarket had an aisle marked “unhealthy stuff”, so the chore of shopping wouldn’t take so long.

~~~

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s lawyer made this point: “Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years.”

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted: “Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years.”

~~~

When you win, say nothing.  When you lose, say less.

Paul Brown

~~~

It takes two things to be a consultant – gray hair and hemorrhoids.

The gray hair makes you look distinguished and the hemorrhoids make you look concerned.

~~~

A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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