We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Yesterday I mentioned my friend who seemed to be trapped in a job that left her little time for herself. In my experience just walking away from un-pleasantries is risky if you don’t know where you want to go. Often we don’t spend enough time learning about ourselves in order to lay a solid foundation for making a positive move. I have found in hundreds of sessions with others that we tend to overlook the little things that when added up provide us the best chance of happiness. It is not the big things that make us special it is the everyday things that we like and do that are so often overlooked.
Not long ago I stumbled across an article by Tina Su that I strongly recommend. I have heavily edited it in order to fit the Daily but her message is clear, if you invest in learning about yourself you will often be rewarded with life enriching results.
She said, “I believe that we were all sent here for a reason and that we all have significance in the world. I genuinely feel that we are all blessed with unique gifts. The expression of our gifts contributes to a cause greater than ourselves.” She also said that these questions were running through her mind: What am I chasing after? Why am I chasing it? What is my purpose? Why was I put here?
She began by listing all the things that are most important to her. She decided that whatever venture she commit to must align with her personal mission, her values and her goals. For every new opportunity that comes along, she would ask herself how it aligns with her goals. Regardless of how much money she could acquire, if the venture did not align with where she wanted to be, then she would not pursue it.
Here are a few of her values and goals:
- What matters most is my connection with myself, being present and feeling blissful.
- What I value most is having meaningful relationships with people. Being able to connect with people on deep levels.
- To live everyday fully as if it was my last.
She then proceeded to offer us the following list of questions that can assist us in discovering our purpose. They are meant as a guide to help us get into a frame of mind that will be conducive to defining our personal mission.
Take out a few sheets of loose paper and a pen.
Find a place where you will not be interrupted. Turn off your cell phone.
Write the answers to each question down. Write the first thing that pops into your head. Write without editing. Use point form. It’s important to write out your answers rather than just thinking about them.
Write quickly. Give yourself less than 60 seconds a question. Preferably less than 30 seconds.
Be honest. Nobody will read it. It’s important to write without editing.
Enjoy the moment and smile as you write.
1. What makes you smile? (Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)
2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?
3. What activities make you lose track of time?
4. What makes you feel great about yourself?
5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?
6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)
7. What do people typically ask you for help in?
8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
10. You are now 90 years old. Looking back at your life and all that you’ve achieved and acquired, all the relationships you’ve developed; what matters to you most? List them out.
11. What are your deepest values? Select 3 to 6 and prioritize the words in order of importance to you.
12. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?
13. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?
14. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?
15. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes, organization, environment, planet, etc.)
I know this is longer than usual but it also may be the most important exercise you ever do. The author has a lot more to offer and you can read her whole article at http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/life-on-purpose-15-questions-to-discover-your-personal-mission/
“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
There are two polite people having dinner together. On the table there is a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish. They politely say to each other: “You may choose first.”
“No, you may choose first.”
And this goes on for a while. Then the first person says: “OK, I’ll take first.” And he takes the BIG piece of fish.
The second person: “Why did you take the big piece? That’s not polite!”
The first person says: “Which piece would *you* have taken?”
The second person replies: “Why, I would have taken the SMALL piece, of course.”
The first person says: “Well, that’s what you have now!”
The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic’s terrible.
The class was studying state capitals. The teacher asked one of her pupils, “What’s the nation’s capital?”
Little Johnny replied, “Washington DC”
She then asked, “What does the ‘DC’ stand for?”
Little Johnny added, “Oh, I know that! Dot com.”
Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries have a ‘use by’ date?
How To Tell If You’re In New York……..
Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian, and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.
For as long as I can remember I’ve had amnesia.
Myron Cohen said his mother was very resourceful. For instance, he recalled that when their table cloth became frayed she would cut it up into smaller pieces and make napkins. When they became frayed she cut them up into handkerchiefs. And when they became frayed, she sewed them all together and made another tablecloth.
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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