Ray's musings and humor

“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.”

Jack Kerouac

The other day I started to think about time travel or more accurately my travel through time. I guess it was triggered by the fact that we have just passed through the midpoint of 2011 and my realization of how fast time seems to go by these days. I suspect it speeds by in part because my days are so full. In the past my life sometimes slowed down as I did my normal stuff awaiting the next significant event while now there is seldom a day that goes by that does not include at least one event that makes that day special.

As I reflected on my life over time I realized that I was there for much of what people these days see only as historical events to be revisited via flashbacks or in historical documents. I was there at the tail end of the great depression. I heard about the bombing of Pearl Harbor on the radio at a cousin’s house. I remember when our food and fuel were rationed. I listened to the news of FDR’s death at home in the early afternoon. I remember VE day, the atomic bombing and VJ day. I was there when movie theatres and beaches were closed because of the polio epidemic. I worked with others as we built a new country after the war. I went to school with hundreds of returning veterans studying under the GI Bill. I went to Korea with the US navy on a major aircraft carrier after visiting Europe and Japan which were still recovering from WWII. I was in Hong Kong when the mountains and caves where filled with refugees from mainland China surviving only on scraps of leftover food. I worked on the world’s first large scale computers, and spent decades in the computer industry, an industry that never stopped changing the world. I have gone around the world, visited many countries and met an amazing array of people. I have met stars, statesmen, scientists and humanitarians. And there is so much more that I have had the good fortune to experience firsthand.

My life has been enriched for over three quarters of a century. The enrichment has not come from what I have seen or done, it has come from the good people I meet and see every day. I have come to really appreciate you, and the others like you who make my world interesting, fun, and full of adventure. Yep, I have traveled in time and I am still doing so, treasuring all the moments that enrich my days.

~~~

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”

Henry Miller

~~~

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing “wedding.” The wedding vows went like this:

“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”

~~~

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your rear end will get soaking wet.

~~~

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

~~~

Parents are like shuttles on a loom. They join the threads of the past with threads of the future and leave their own bright patterns as they go.

Fred Rogers

~~~

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it’s prefaced with the words, “Bless her heart” or “Bless his heart.” As in, “Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it’d roll around like a BB on a six lane highway” Or, “Bless her heart, she’s so buck-toothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.” There are also the sneakier ones: “You know, it’s amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds.”

~~~

“My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”

Roseanne Barr

~~~

Moshe, the owner of a small Kosher New York deli, was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

‘Why don’t you people leave me alone?’ the deli owner said. ‘I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?’

‘It’s not your income that bothers us,’ the agent said. ‘It’s these travel deductions. You listed ten trips to Israel for you and your wife.’

‘Oh, that?’ the owner said smiling. ‘Well… We also deliver.’

~~~

“A man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.”

Charles Darwin

~~~

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

~~~

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

~~~

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose – how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author assured the family he could handle the story as tactfully as possible and was given the go-ahead to write the book.

The book appeared. It said “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution and was attached to his position by the strongest of ties. His death came as a great shock.”

~~~

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure.

There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”

Jawaharial Nehru

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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