Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2011

Beep Beep

Have you noticed how many people are so busy doing nothing that they never have enough time to do something?

We don’t have to regret what we didn’t do if we start now to do the things we may have missed.

Ray

 

At last it is Friday and my week is ending. I probably will not have a Daily next Monday or Tuesday since my new Pacemaker procedure will take place Monday morning and while I am hoping not to have to stay in the hospital I may still be dragging on Tuesday. I will be glad when it is done since I have had to miss out on so much these days. I could not attend the taping of Michael Feinstein’s PBS American Songbook Sinatra show that will be broadcast this summer. I also could not work the Salvation Army food fest downtown yesterday and it is an annual favorite. In addition I have had to cancel doing the volunteer registration at the Special Olympics regional track and field meet another annual favorite. If that was not enough I am prevented attending a favorite grandsons college graduation because of the amount of walking required. To tell the truth I have had with all this cancel and postpone stuff. But to make it more meaningful I am also skipping sky diving, walking the Appalachian Trail, climbing Everest and solving the unemployment problem. Someone else is just going to have to do all of that.

One thing more while I have your attention, I cannot have anything to eat or drink after midnight Sunday and will not be able to ingest anything until late in the day Monday. Instead of calling the process Stopping they call it Fasting. Let me tell you the one thing time does not do when you can’t eat is go fast. I don’t know who comes up with this stuff but they should either call it Stopping or Starving especially for a person like me who loves to eat.

In spite of my minor complaints I am truly fortunate and have every reason to believe that my life will be renewed and I will be able to get back to cluttering up mail boxes and doing what I can for others. I may be a little worn and somewhat patched up but I can breathe, function and there is still more than enough things I can do and for that I am grateful.

You stay well my friends − the world needs you!

~~~

Life offers two great gifts–time, and the ability to choose how we spend it. Planning is a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.

Richard I. Winword

~~~

COMPUTER PROVERBS

* Home is where you hang your @.

* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

* Too many clicks spoil the browse.

* The geek shall inherit the earth.

* A chat has nine lives.

* Don’t byte off more than you can view.

* What boots up must come down.

* Windows will never cease.

* Virtual reality is its own reward.

* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

~~~

“Lost time is never found again.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. “Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out, “Cross!” Immediately the congregation started singing, in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!” The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…”

The pastor said, “Power.” The congregation sang “There Is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex.” The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

Wife to bill-paying husband:  “I slashed expenses last month.  Everything was charged on one credit card so that it will cost only one stamp to pay all of our bills.”

~~~

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn’t like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn’t have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, “I’m very sorry Sam, but we didn’t come out to buy you a toy.”

Sam angrily said, “I’ve never met a woman as mean as you.”

Holding his hand gently, she replied, “Sam, darling, one day you’ll get married and then you will … you really will, I promise you.”

~~~

After the funeral the Rabbi said, “I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband Morris.”

The widow replied, “So who’s looking for one?”

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, “I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex.”

~~~

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

~~~

Jill had applied for a job, and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

Jill replied, “Pretty good I think, but if I go to work there I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.”

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, “Is that what they told you?

Jill replied, “No, they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said, “Vacation time may not be taken until you’ve had your first anniversary.”

~~~

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.

Leonardo Da Vinci

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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Big Monday for Ray coming up

My crown is called content, a crown that seldom kings enjoy.

William Shakespeare

 

All my tests went well yesterday and it appears that all of my problems since early April have been due to my Pacemaker not fully functioning. I feel fortunate that there are no physical problems with my heart and my heart valve leakage is manageable. Once I get my new Pacemaker all should be well. Unfortunately I need to adjust my blood thinners before they can do the surgery so I will be moving slow until next Monday and if all goes well I will be in and out of the hospital and soon will be my old self. Each year I look forward to working with the Salvation Army and Special Olympics at this time of year but both events are in the next three days so I have to miss this year. All in all I am content and p-leased with my good fortune and I look forward to being back in action by this time next week.

Peter Clemens provided some tips on enjoying life not too long ago, here are a few I recommend to you:

Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.

Laugh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.

Have Simple Pleasures. A good cup of coffee when I first wake. Time spent playing with my 8 month old son. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.

Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding relationships with your co-workers.

~~~

Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “Honk If You Love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and when he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of God, GO! GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus.

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach…

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I’ve never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing; why even he was enjoying this religious experience.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

~~~

“To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being.”

John Lubbock

~~~

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the sex, nudity, foul language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,

I have a man I can’t trust.. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

~~~

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of ‘smart’?

~~~

At a PTA Meeting it was explained to the parents how the sex education classes would proceed and what the overall content would be. The Principal advised the parents to closely follow-up with their children, especially to see if they had any questions.

That night, one parent decided to put it into action. He called his older son into the study and requested that he instruct his younger brother about the “birds and the bees” talk he gave to his son two years ago; thinking to spare himself the ordeal all over again.

The boy agreed and rushed off to talk with his younger brother.

“Hey Herman,” he said, “want to know something?”

“What?” the younger lad asked.

“You know how a man and a woman get together when they want to have kids?”

“Yeah?”

“Well.. Father wants me to tell you that birds and bees do the same thing.”

~~~

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s Big Day

It’s our attitude in life that determines life’s attitude toward us.

Earl Nightingale

 

I have an overwhelming schedule today. I have an early meeting to pick up items for a charity auction and then cardiac tests at  the hospital. After that I’ll meet with my Cardiologist to plan for my Pacemaker replacement. I hope for a nap as we also are planning to attend a major musical offering after a dinner out. So here we go again another of Ray’s past Dailies.

Ray’s Daily first published May 11, 2005

I often think that I have become a maxim and quote pack rat, I am sure to some extent I have. I am because often a voice from the past will wake me up to something that is obvious, right, and in many cases easily overlooked. So often we get bogged down in the problems we read about, in our jobs, and so much more that we don’t spend any time stopping and getting back to the basics that are so important to our happiness and well being. Here some thoughts I pulled out of the grab bag for you to think about.

•           Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

•           Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart…but if you don’t, you might break theirs.

•           Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

•           Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

•           We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie… the thing we fear grows stronger.

•           Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Think of all the things we would have missed if we hadn’t allowed ourselves to jump into life. I hope everyone makes sure they jump now while they still can.

~~~

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T. S. Eliot

~~~

Alice was well into her sixties when she went to her doctor complaining of nausea, exhaustion, and occasional cramps. After a thorough examination the doctor sent her to the hospital for a battery of tests, and finally confronted her with the results.

“Mrs. Jones, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there’s no doubt about it…. you’re pregnant.”

“Impossible,” she cried, and fainted dead away. When she came to, she staggered to the phone, dialed her 78 year old husband, and yelled, “You’ve knocked me up, you randy old goat!”

There was a long pause at the other end of the line. Then a voice said, “And to whom am I speaking?”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

The budget-minded women was always clipping coupons in the young, lean years when she was first married, and even kept detailed records of how much money she saved. One of her first jobs way back then was running the cash register at the local drugstore. One day, she had a self-conscious young man approach the counter to buy some condoms. She noticed a dollar-off coupon on the box and asked him if he’d like to use it, adding that she and her husband had saved over $400 redeeming coupons last year. The stunned young man replied, “On these?!”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A man took his old duck to the Veterinarian, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The Vet explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills, and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it’s food.

“What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down, even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck’s nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it’ll drown.”

The man goes about his business and about a week later the Vet runs into his patient.

“Well, how is that duck of yours?” the Vet inquires.

“He’s dead.” declared the heartbroken man.

“I told you not to file his upper bill down too far!

He took a drink of water and drowned didn’t he?” insisted the Vet.

“No.” lamented the man. “I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise.”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds.

“I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

“To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.”

Joan Klempner

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients.

It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

Greater is he who acts from love than he who acts from fear.

Simeon Ben Eleazar

                                                                                                                                                                           ~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Are you satisfied with the world you built?

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Maria Robinson

 

 I recently read the following on wikiHow:

 While being skeptical can be a healthy way to avoid getting taken advantage of, being pessimistic – that is, always assuming the worst – can have major negative consequences on your life. Seeing only the negative aspects of any situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise improve your relationships and quality of life. In fact, studies show that pessimists are more likely to develop chronic illnesses later on in life than optimists. Optimists look for the light at the end of the tunnel. If you’ve always had a pessimistic worldview, it can be difficult to shift your focus, but it is possible to start seeing the glass as half full, not half empty.

It reminded me of how many people I know who assure their unhappiness by always thinking the worst. Where I see flowers they often only see only weeds. These are the folks that are on the defensive all the time fearing that someone will cheat them. In my experience almost no one ever cheats me and I would much rather let them do that than treat everyone I meet with suspicion. If I expect the best in people I almost always find it and I think it is due to a large extent because I am truly interested in them.

I honestly believe that we have the ability to construct the world in which we live. We can view illness and adversity as inherent and something that can take us down or as the opportunity to face the challenge believing that happier alternatives exist in almost every situation if we sustain a positive attitude.

Right now my world is temporarily limited due to health issues but I know this too will pass and that there will be better days soon. I am not down, just taking some time to prepare for tomorrows special offerings. You know as we age there are often things we can no longer do, the good news is that the time we use to spend doing them can now be spent doing things we have never done before. Life is great, it is up to us realize that it is and enjoy all that is to come. If you are like me you will find that every year is better than the last, different yes, but better because we make it so.

~~~

“If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.”

John Heywood

~~~

Norman and his wife live in Cleveland.  One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.  You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.”

Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.  You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.”

Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park …” just then the power goes out, and Norman’s wife is very upset.  With a worried look on her face she says, “Oh god, I don’t know what to do.  Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, “Honey, why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time?”

~~~

The faster we travel, the less there is to see.

Helen Hayes

~~~

She said: Because of my mood swings, my husband bought me a mood ring the other day. It’s a marvelous little device. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.

~~~

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

~~~

A New York judge is ready to go through the day’s business and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payos, the works.

The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk: “Quick…get me a translator.”

Translator shows up and the judge says: “Ask him what his name is, how old is he and where does he come from?”

The translator says: “Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?”

The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a British accent: “Your Honor. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I’ve come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University.”

The translator turns to the judge and says: “Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford.”

~~~

“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow blower or vacuum cleaner.”

Ben Bergor

~~~

A friend and his five-year-old son were heading home after a soccer game. Assuming the boy’s subdued mood was due to his team’s loss, my friend tried to reassure him that he had done a good job, even though he had played in only part of the game.

“But dad,” the boy said, “the coach told me to sit out for a quarter and he hasn’t paid me yet.”

~~~

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can.

John Wooden

~~~

Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret sins one to another. I’ll start – my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”

The second pastor said, “My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors.”

The third pastor said, “My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can’t wait to get out of this room!”

~~~

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A word of optimism and hope. And you can do it when things are tough.”

Richard M. DeVos

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Soon I’ll be young again

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

 

I have bad news and good news. It appears that my recent maladies are due to a failing Pacemaker. I will be going in for some additional tests on Wednesday and will meet with my Cardiologist to schedule a replacement Pacemaker; this will be my third one. The good news is that it appears that the bulk of my recent problems are mechanical and not physical so I expect the new Pacemaker will restore my energy and youthfulness, yippee! In the meantime I have to keep a low profile and conserve my energy. At least I’ll have a good cover story for my lethargic behavior and failure to fulfill prior commitments. I just would have preferred the fix before my recent cruise as I might have ventured out of my cabin more often. But as always my friends life goes on, there is little value in agonizing about what was, energy is best invested in what might be.

Here is something I saved from the ever wise Ralph Marston that I think is right on!

All for the best

Whatever has happened, accept that it is for the best. Feel the freedom of not having to fight against the past.

Sure, you could place judgments on past events and wish they had happened differently. And all that judging and wishing would do nothing except waste your time and energy.

Simply accept that what has already happened is indeed for the best. Then get busy making it so.

Choose to fully appreciate what you have right now to work with, no matter how it may have arrived. Know that there is real value in your present circumstance, and you’ll find that value and be able to build on it.

Often, an outstanding opportunity will make its first appearance in the form of a heartbreaking disappointment. By accepting that the disappointment is for the best, you gain entrance to the full power of the opportunity.

All that has happened is for the best. With it you can fashion your own unique greatness.

~~~

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with “is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss” not sounding anything like my name, so I said who is calling?

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber band Powered Freezer company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he calling this number.

I then said off to the side, “Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood” then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes.

My meal was cold, but after what I had pulled, very enjoyable.

~~~

Roses are red violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

~~~

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty..You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser.” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope..”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”

“Oh, really! What’d he say?”

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

~~~

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

~~~

‘Doctor, I keep dreaming of bats, creepy-crawlies, demons, ghosts, monsters, vampires, werewolves, and yetis.’

Doctor: ‘How interesting, do you always dream in alphabetical order?’

~~~

“Keep a good heart. That’s the most important thing in life. It’s not how much money you make or what you can acquire. The art of it is to keep a good heart.”

Joni Mitchell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.

Douglas Pagels

 

 I am still learning my new applications so here is another reprint from the past. Enjoy and have a great weekend.

~~~

I honestly think the real secret to success, both on the job and in life is the ability to just stop, drop out, and spend a little time with and for yourself. Later this morning I will be having breakfast with someone who is an achiever, she is dedicated, works hard and does good things, unfortunately never taking enough time for herself.

You know the feeling, I will be able to take some time this weekend, or after this project, or as soon as things lighten up. Lo and behold the weeks and months go by with no relief. The sad part is that most of us do much better when we keep things in balance, take some time for ourselves, and just rest once in a while. I know it was always easier to come back to work than it was to never leave it. Maybe what a guy by the name of Will Pate wrote recently will help those who could use a reason to lighten up.

~~~

After 8 months as an entrepreneur I’m ready to give up on trying to squeeze more working hours out of the day. I’m absolutely convinced of the value of rest and recreation time. Without proper R&R the human mind experiences the law of diminishing returns; you simply cannot get more than 8 good hours of work out of a day. Intellectual and creative atrophy set in and work gets sloppy, details are missed and little overall progress is made. It’s a question of quality over quantity.

If I had a meeting the next day, I used to stay up as late as it took to get the work necessary done and then drag my corpse out of bed as late as possible the next day. Practice proved this was a bad idea. Now I do some personal reading, listen to something pleasing and drift off to sleep earlier than the returning bar hound. I get up early, do a little blog reading to get myself into the mental groove and start working. If inspiration strikes I do a little blogging as I sip (instead of chugging) coffee and listen to CBC Radio 3. I cut off work around 5 or 6 and then avoid the computer for the rest of the evening.

Weekends can be a chance for deeper renewal. This past weekend I went on a spiritual retreat, properly dubbed the “Weekend of Awesome”. Sure I lost some sleep but I made new friends, grew closer with older buds and played video games until my fingers hurt. The entire weekend I made a resolution to keep work out of my mind. Consequently, I’ve never been more ready to start the work week on a Monday morning.

~~~

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

  J. Lubbock

~~~

What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you credit cards, vacation packages, etc.:

The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?

What’s that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I’m afraid we’re just not communicating.

I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.

Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint.  Now first let me have your name and telephone number…

~~~

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

READ SLOWLY—-IT MAY TAKE A WHILE FOR THE LIGHT TO SHINE, BUT THESE ARE RATHER CLEVER!

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

~~~

The younger we are the more we want to change the world.  The older we are the more we want to change the young.

~~~

An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: “I don’t know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners.” When the passengers’ muttering had died down, she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight.”

Her next announcement came an hour later.  “If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!”

~~~

Whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.

Swedish Proverb

~~~

A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: “We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us.”

~~~

Joyce:   I’ve been asked to get married hundreds of times.

Gloria:  (surprised) really?!  By whom?

Joyce:  My parents.

~~~

A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.”

When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, “Where’s the good word?”

The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat loaf.”

~~~

If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me

~~~

It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but Morris felt that he must.  “Mom, you are no longer a spring chicken and you do need to think ahead of what will happen in the future.  Why don’t we make arrangements about when….. you know… when…. God Forbid …you pass on?”

The mother didn’t say anything, just sat there staring ahead.

“I mean, Momma, like…. how do you want to finally go? To be buried? Cremated?”

There was yet another long pause.  Then the mother looked up and said, “Son, why don’t you simply surprise me?”

~~~

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

~~~

 Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

“There’s nothing half so pleasant as
coming home again.”

Margaret Elizabeth Sangster

 

I am back finally! I have been under the weather for a few
weeks and was ill during my brief soirée into the Caribbean and am now on the
mend. But the primary reason for the Ray’s Daily hiatus has been the loss of my
primary computer and other complications. I am now on a super wiz bang new
system with new software I don’t understand and many hours of additional
rebuild ahead of me. But I have been able to retrieve old files and I hope
fairly complete mailing lists so I can get the Daily back in circulation, I
could not bring myself to shutting down after doing it for now for more than
ten years. You probably will have to bear with me for a while since I am using
a new version of Word that is much more complex than I am use too.

In any case I hope you and yours are well, I have missed
being with you. Much has happened in our world in the recent past, some good,
some bad it is now time for you and I to go out a spend a little time to make
the world a little brighter.

Here is something a teen age girl wrote some years ago that
I think we should all try to emulate.

 Brighten the World

I for one, prefer to laugh rather than cry. So whenever I
see someone in a bad mood, whether they be angry or sad, i try to lighten their
load, if only for a moment with a joke. It’s worth so much to watch a person
who looks like their world is crashing down around them suddenly smile. To
watch their face just brighten up, it’s wonderful. I’m always trying to make a
joke about something, some people call me immature. But i would rather make a
thousand people laugh by being immature, then watch one person cry, and do
nothing cause I’m too mature. Laughter is the best medicine, and the quickest
way to a wonderful friendship.

Pheonix

~~~

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Mark Twain

~~~

The teacher asked Johnnie, “Johnnie if I gave you two
rabbits and then two more rabbits and then two more rabbits, how many would you
have?”

Johnnie replied, “Seven rabbits, Teacher.”

The teacher asked again, “Listen Johnnie, If I gave you two rabbits, plus two more rabbits, plus two more rabbits…   How many rabbits would you have altogether?”

Johnnie smiled, “That’s easy, Teacher, I would have seven.”

“Ok Johnnie,” the teacher said. “Let’s try it a different way.  If I gave you two cans
of pop, plus two more cans of  pop, plus two more cans of pop. How many cans of pop would you have?”

“Six cans.” Johnnie said.

“OK,” said the teacher. “Now think of that with this question.  “If I gave you
two rabbits, then two more rabbits,  then two more rabbits how many would you have?”

“Seven, Teacher.” Johnnie said.

“Why seven?” the teacher asked, exasperated.

Johnnie replied, “Because I already have one rabbit at home!”

~~~

SHE SAID: Say you love me! Say you love me!

HE SAID : You love me…

~~~

A captain with a major airline monitors the flight attendants’ announcements while taxiing to the gate. Impatient passengers often stand up and attempt to dash forward before we arrive.  Once, instead of the usual terse voice reminding people to remain in their seats, he heard the attendant declare, “In the history of our airline, no passenger has ever beaten the aircraft to the gate.  So, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain seated.”

~~~

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

HARRY S. TRUMAN

~~~

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the  wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We  Gather at the River.”

~~~

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”

~~~

Jewish lady’s grandson is playing in the water, she is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He simply vanished.

She holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries, “Lord, how could you? Have I not been a wonderful mother and grandmother? Have I not given to B’nai Brith and Haddasah? Have I not tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?”

A few minutes later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there, smiling, splashing around as if nothing had ever happened. A loud voice booms from the sky, “Okay, okay, I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?”

She responds, “He had a hat.”

~~~

You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~~~

During his sermon one Sunday, the local preacher told his congregation that the entire range of human experience could be found in the Bible. He confidently stated, “If anything can happen to humans, it is described somewhere in the Bible.”

After the service, a woman came up to the preacher and said, “Reverend, I don’t think the Bible mentions anything about PMS.” The preacher told the woman he was certain he could find reference to PMS somewhere in scripture.

During the following week, he searched diligently, book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter, and verse-by verse. On the following Sunday, the woman came up to him and asked, “Did you find any references to PMS in the Bible?” The preacher smiled, opened his Bible, and began to read,  “….and Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem.”

~~~

Does killing time damage eternity?

~~~

A university creative writing class was asked to write a short essay containing these four elements:

– religion

– royalty

– sex

– mystery

The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

~~~

Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for the limits of the world.

ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER

~~~

 Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy.
If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing
me at
raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at  ttp://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently
there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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