Ray's Daily

Take a break

A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell;

And very hard the task I find of governing it well.

Louisa May Alcott

 

I had breakfast with a friend the other day who like so many of us, often gets overwhelmed with all the tasks on his plate. I know the feeling, we often say yes to requests more than we should, that coupled with procrastination and putting off some of the unpleasant tasks can really get you down. What’s even worse is that the overload often leaves no time to do things that would help us recharge. In my discussions with my friend I suggested that we all need to make sure our day includes recess time. For you in other countries, recess is time where school children take a break during the school day to play, relax and recharge.

So what can we do? I think we have to be careful to limit what we agree to do only those things that we can do well and do on time; we do no one any favors when we say yes and then don’t deliver. The second thing is to avoid putting the difficult or unpleasant tasks off until later for all that does is provide lingering dread since you are going to have to do whatever it is sometime. My third recommendation is to make recess mandatory and give it as high a priority as any other task and then use the recess to read, relax, play but not to think about or work on something on your things to do list, if you take a recess I think you’ll be surprised how much better things get done after you return refreshed.

I know it is not easy, but in my experience we make things worse when we get overburdened with our task backlogs. Not long ago happiness guru Gretchen Rubin wrote a piece that I think is on target. Here is what she said.

Six tips for forcing yourself to tackle a dreaded task.

Often, I know I’d be happier if I do something I really don’t feel like doing. Those dreaded tasks hang over my head, though; they make me feel drained and uneasy. I’ve learned that I’m much happier, in the long run, if I try to tackle them as soon as possible, rather than allowing myself to push them off.

Here are some strategies I use:

1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you’re dreading doing something, you’re going to be able to think of more creative excuses as the day goes along. One of my Twelve Commandments is “Do it now.” No delay is the best way.

2. If you find yourself putting off a task that you try to do several times a week, do it EVERY day. When I was planning my blog, I envisioned posting two or three times a week. Then a blogging friend convinced me that no, I should post every day. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, I’ve found that it’s easier to do it every day (well, except Sundays) than fewer times each week. There’s no dithering, there’s no juggling. I know I have to post, so I do. If you’re finding it hard to go for a walk four times a week, try going every day.

3. Have someone keep you company. Studies show that we enjoy practically every activity more when we’re with other people. Having a friend along can be a distraction, a source of reassurance, or just moral support.

4. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. Clean off your desk, get the phone number, find the file. I often find that when I’m dreading a task, it helps me to feel prepared. There’s a wonderful term that chefs use: mis-en-place, French for “everything in its place.” It describes the preparation done before starting to cook: gathering ingredients and implements, chopping, measuring, etc. Mis-en-place is preparation, but it’s also a state of mind; mis-en-place means you have everything at the ready, with no need to run out to the store or begin a frantic search for a sifter. You’re truly ready to begin to work.

5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By the end of today, April 7, I will have _____.” This also gives you the thrill of crossing a task off your list. (See below.)

6. Remind yourself that finishing a dreaded task is tremendously energizing. Studies show that hitting a goal releases chemicals in the brain that give you pleasure. If you’re feeling blue, although the last thing you feel like doing is something you don’t feel like doing, push yourself. You’ll get a big lift from it.

~~~

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task”

William James

~~~

MEMO TO ALL EMS PERSONNEL

To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT “Charlie Carrots.” Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or “hamburger helper.” Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like “negative vehicle to vehicle interface” or “terminal deceleration syndrome.”

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not “glow worms.”

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered “pharmaceutically gifted.”

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not “trans-occipital implants.”

7) The homeless are not “urban outdoorsmen,” nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a “PVC Challenge.”

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being “paws up,” ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

~~~

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

~~~

My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots.

“Tina,” I commented, “I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” she answered.

“Which one?” I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

~~~

In the long run you will receive more from life doing the job you enjoy than you will ever earn in money from a job you loathe.

Terry L. Mayfield

~~~

A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”

~~~

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

~~~

My sister brought her daughter a really nice Spinet Piano for her birthday.

A few weeks later, I asked my sister how her daughter was doing.

“Oh,” she said, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Well,” my sister answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing….”

~~~

“The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Start Now!

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

These last few weeks have been filled with news of folks who have passed on, suffered adversity and great losses. Unfortunately for many they also feel that the dire straights they feel they are in is the capstone of their lives and it will never get better. Far too many of these folks have missed numerous opportunities in their lives waiting for a better time and as I have learned time after time, the best time is more often then not, now. Fortunately what many believe is the end can really be a new beginning, what I regret is that for some they waited too long and it really is too late.

I may have shared the following with you before since I have kept it a long time. I don’t remember who wrote it or where I got it but I am grateful that I have it. We all need to be reminded that it is now and the clock keeps ticking and if we wait too long now soon turns into never. So my friends let’s all make today the beginning and get out there and live. Read on and get set to enjoy the ride.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.

After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don’t need money,

Love like you’ve never been hurt,

And dance like no one’s watching.

~~~

I can’t wait all my life

On a street of broken dreams.

~~~

Famous Last Words:

— Of course you don’t look fat in that dress honey.  Well… maybe a little.

— Hey ya’ll watch this.

— LOOK! An old mine from world war…..

— Sure, rope bridges last forever.

— Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

— Do I cut the red or the blue wire?

— Oh shut up! I won’t fall!

— Oh, it looks like a dolphin is swimming this way…

— I wonder what happens if these two wires touch.

~~~

Cooking lesson #1: don’t fry bacon in the nude.

~~~

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer “Dear Harold”. At this, dad interrupted and said, “Wait a minute, How come you called God, “Harold”?” The little boy looked up and said, “That’s what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.” 

~~~

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

~~~

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.” Exhausted

~~~

I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, “Watch it!!!

There are plenty more ribs where YOU came from!”

~~~

The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores he’d been putting off for weeks. He’d cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, “Say, what do you get for yard work?”

The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, “The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.”

~~~

“Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

Robert A. Heinlein

~~~

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud.

The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. “Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of  those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”

~~~

Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Colin Sautar

~~~

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.

“Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.”

~~~

Waste not fresh tears over old grief’s.

Euripides

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Do you?

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them”

William Arthur Ward

 

 Yesterday I shared an article with you that promoted the good things that could come to you if you extended your network and met more people. There are hundreds of people just like you and me that we haven’t met yet, many who have the potential of being life long friends. That is of course if we let them. The chances of that happening if your focus on yourself and not them is slim and if you are a complainer forget about it.

If you are like I am you get turned off fast when someone you meet wants to complain and tell you what is wrong with others; how they have been treated unfairly and how they are seldom if ever at fault. Possibly some of what they say is true but focusing on the negative and using it as an excuse for not moving away from the past is the quickest way I know to leave a bad impression. Think about it, would you rather relate to someone who expresses a positive view of life and takes an interest in you or would you rather be with someone who is negative and self-centered?

My tip is this, if you about to complain, don’t! Recently I read a piece written by Jon Gordon that may help you if you find yourself tempted to complain. Here in part is what he wrote:

5 Things To Do Instead Of Complain

The one thing I keep hearing from leaders and employees is that complaining is at an all time high. I’m not surprised. There are two main reasons why we complain. 1. We complain because we feel powerless. 2. We complain because it’s a habit. The economy has shaken a lot of people’s foundations and we feel powerless which leads to a rise in habitual complaining.

So this week I want to encourage you to go on a complaining fast. Not because it will make everyone around you happier, although it will, but because it will help you experience more joy, peace, success and positive relationships. To help you break out of a “complaining” rut here are five things you can do instead of complain. These tips will help you realize you are not powerless.

1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work.

2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.

3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.

4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out. Surrender is the answer.

5. Pray. Scientific research shows that daily prayer reduces stress; boosts positive energy; and promotes health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power, and recharge.

~~~

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

 

“What happened to you?” asked the bystander to the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor.

The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.  “Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon. I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, honey, at least you tried,’ and I don’t remember anything after that.”

~~~

You know what happens when you play country music backwards? You quit drinking, you get your wife back, you’re rehired and your lost dog comes home.

~~~

Years ago I worked on the UNIVAC I & II which were the follow-on to the Eniac based on the same technology. Here is what Popular Mechanics reported in March 1949 “Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuums tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.” Today there is much more power in my cell phone.

~~~

“Dogs have owners — Cats have staff.”

~~~

A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, “Can people predict the future with cards?”

His response was, “My mother can.”

The teacher replied, “Really?”

The young boy was quick to explain, “Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.”

~~~

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

~~~

One day a guy on a vacation heard of an Indian with an amazing memory, so he decided to visit the Indian and see what the big deal was.

He went to the Indian and asked him, “What did you eat for breakfast on July 2, 1961?”

The Indian replied, “Eggs.”

The same man came back 10 years later to see the Indian again. He greeted him by saying, “How.”

The Indian said, “Fried.”

~~~

Those who say they “sleep like a baby” haven’t got one.

~~~

Two inmates break out of their prison cells and are running across the yard when a guard in one of the towers spots them. Immediately, he sounds an alarm and all the searchlights in all the towers shine on the would-be escapees.

Caught in the light, one hisses to the other, “Don’t just stand there! Smile and start tap dancing!”

~~~

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Mae West

~~~

She said: I was going away for a few days and left my husband a list of chores. For fun, I put down as Item 5: Think about your wife a lot.

After I returned, my husband proudly reported that he had completed every job. When I saw the list, however, each item except No. 5 had been crossed off.

“What’s this!” I exclaimed. “Didn’t you think about me at all while I was gone?”

My chagrin vanished when he replied cheerfully. . .”Hon… I started to, but just never finished.”

~~~

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”

Anthony J. D’Angelo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Get Lucky!

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Seneca

 

 I lost an old friend the other day. A woman who had a promising career with a National Dance company years ago who had to quit dance because of physical problems. She left New York and relocated to the Midwest where she worked productively in the private sector always demonstrating her good heart and basic kindness. Unfortunately she became a victim of the employment turmoil of the recent years. She lost her job due to reorganization and then struggled to just find anything that would allow her to live. Sadly the burden became so heavy that she gave up.

I wish I could have helped her but we lost touch a few years back. If has not been easy time for far too many and much of my time is spent meeting with people who are working through similar problems. Fortunately most do work through their problems, many through increasing their involvement with others and seeing themselves in a different light. The one thing most have in common is that they don’t rely on luck, they do something. Today I’d like to share an article with you written by author Sean Platt that I think has great value and can work for everyone.

 

How To Be Lucky In A World Of Unlucky People

You Need a Network

Isolated, few opportunities will fall your way. New jobs, fresh fortune and random strokes of great luck are often the simple result of being plugged into the right network at the right time. Make it a habit of trading contact information with everyone you meet, then touching base every so often. Keep your exchanges friendly, natural, and helpful at all times. Multiply the people that know who you are and what you do, and you will multiply life’s ample opportunities.

Shift Your Perspective

Mishap and misfortune happen to everyone. You WILL always have setbacks, but it’s important to remember you can’t live in denial. You must actively shift your perspective to a more positive outlook and keep searching for the hidden opportunities that exist in every situation.

Many people are resistant to re-framing their life view because they don’t think it’s “realistic” to look for a positive way to view negative situations, yet even the Great Depression saw the steady rise of many “lucky” millionaires. Lucky people understand that there might not be any way of changing the past, but they can always change their minds and see life in a way that allows them to move forward rather than wallow in place.

Put Yourself Out There

Do you know anyone who sits on the couch or surfs the Net all the live long day with something to show for it by the time the sun sets? I didn’t think so.

The more you participate in life, the more great luck will leap your way. The more active you are, the more opportunities you will have to find yourself in the right place and right time. Instead of waiting at home, hoping luck just happens along, go out and find it, then bring it back home where it belongs.

Be Grateful for What You Do Have

Gratitude puts you in the right frame of mind and makes it easy to recognize the right opportunities. When you incorporate gratitude into your life, it is easy to see all the lucky things that have already been happening to you each and every day. That sense of wonder and natural humility is the true antidote for feeling unlucky.

Learn to Take Chances

You won’t always succeed when you take risks, but remember, every chance taken is a new opportunity to learn and will make every forward step simpler than the one before. And remember, without risk there is no reward. Sure, only betting on a sure thing might mean you’ll never lose. But how often will you win?

We DO make our own luck. Start living like you mean it, and you’ll be lucky, too.

Sean Platt

~~~

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

R.E. Shay

~~~

“I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday,” said Doug to Bill, “reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !”

~~~

Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

~~~

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

“Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?”

Joe answered the correct airline.

“Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?”

Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.

“Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it’?”

And John answered, “Mom….”

~~~

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel;

if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

~~~

A man calling refrigerator repair service: “My refrigerator isn’t working!”

“What kind is it?”

“It’s a small one.”

“Electric, gas or propane?”

“Propane.”

“Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don’t need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well”

Second call, a few minutes later: “The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!”

~~~

Without geography, you’re nowhere.

~~~

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

~~~

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles Schulz

~~~

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, ‘Now you stay. Do you hear me?’ ‘Stay! Stay!’

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said,

‘Why don’t you just put it in park ?’

~~~

I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray’s Daily is shutting down

Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin

 

We are busy this morning preparing the shop for our special project so I am sending you a past edition of the Daily, I hope you can read it; I had a heck of a time getting the dust blown off the original. As I reported the other day the next Daily will be published next week, hopefully on Monday. Enjoy the rest your week.

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on January 12, 2005

Well gang tomorrow is the last day of the daily for awhile. Yesterday I sent the back issues to those who wanted to fill their time during the dailies absence by reading old issues. For the rest of you, if you are looking for something to do while I am gone I would appreciate your:

• Reducing the unemployment rate to 4.4%
• Reducing the national debt by $1,798,447,399
• Negotiating a final peace settlement in the Middle East
• Finding the parents of 3,472 children in South Asia
• Strengthening the dollar by $0.18.

If you can’t fit any of these tasks into your schedule then just think good thoughts, spread good will, and do good things.

Speaking of good things, have you ever stopped and thought about your personal heroes? I have recently. Some of mine are:

• Colt’s Quarterback Peyton Manning, not because he has broken all the quarterback records, but because of how he spends his time with the kids in Indianapolis, his kindness, and his demeanor.
• My Pacemaker nurse Nancy, who is always going out of her way to help her patients and spends as much time as she can helping others understand the medical problems they face.
• Mason, who is well into his eighties and still devotes almost all of his time to helping others; his wisdom, experience, and humanity, is an inspiration to all who know him.
• Senator Dick Lugar, because of his honesty, intellect, and dedication, but most of all because he rises above petty partisan politics to do what is right.
• My doctor friend, who works long hours under difficult circumstances and never looses her concern for those she treats; the love in her heart for people is a wonderful therapeutic addition to her healing skills.
• The children I know who have yet to be tainted by the brush of distrust and cynicism.

I am sure you have similar heroes; maybe it is time to let them know how much they are appreciated.

~~~

A hero is someone we can admire without apology.

Kitty Kelley ~

~~~

Ray’s (not me) wife, Evelyn, gave him permission to send us the following.

Why Men Are Just Happier People…What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

No “monthly problems.”

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You do not get upset if the toilet seat is left up.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood — all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

You don’t have to reach around you back to hook straps together.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on December 24 in 24 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

~~~

WORRY: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

~~~

While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.

“Tell me,” said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?”

“Neither….” said the man,        “My wife and I play bridge.”

~~~

The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

Japanese Proverb

~~~

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.

“Ummmmm…five?”

~~~

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

~~~

A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find the Rev from the Mudville Church who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”

~~~

To err is human.  To forgive is against company policy.

~~~

“Great news, Mr. Smith,” the psychiatrist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can confidently pronounce you completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be tempted by such desires again.”

“That’s great, doctor,” said the patient with a sigh of relief.

“And just to prove it, I want you to stop off at Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. You’ll feel no temptation whatsoever to shoplift.”

“Oh, doctor, however can I thank you?”

“Well,” suggested the doctor, “if you do have a relapse, I could use a microwave.”

~~~

Fear less, hope more;

Whine less, breathe more;

Talk less, say more;

Hate less, love more;

And all good things are yours.

Swedish Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.”

Ralph W. Sockman

 

 I, like many others was horrified by the recent shootings in Arizona, especially the death of a nine year old girl who will never have a chance to experience the opportunities we have all been given. In response I wrote the following lead to a couple of articles that I distributed to my Public Affairs list.

Friends

 

It has been proven time and again that hate is the fertilizer that triggers the crazies into action, often ending in death and in some cases even unreasonable social warfare. Conservative or Liberal, Republican or Democrat we all have benefited by a society based on our ability to live our lives without fear of physical harm. I have been distressed for sometime by how many of us tolerate the intemperate language of those who feel that hate is a legitimate response to those who they disagree with. Some even go so far as to cheer on the haters who resort to disastrous behavior.

 

I don’t know what triggered the recent shooting, we may never know. What I do know is that those of us who stand mute while the haters foment civil unrest cannot be held blameless. I am not smart enough to fix blame for the actions of the shooters but I care enough to feel distraught with what may be a large segment of our society who endorse the catastrophic actions that often result from rhetoric that is based on only rumor and falsehoods.

 

I pray that at least some of us will care enough about our society that we support dissent but speak out against the use of propaganda and hate whenever we can. Again, right or left, we all have an obligation to each other to protect our society from those who find it easy to forget our right to live without fear. While I don’t necessarily agree with all that is said in these articles, I do agree that we need to do some serious soul searching.

 

Ray

 

My lead generated a lot of positive response including this from a former newspaper man, Asian expert and international observer.

 

Nicely said.   I’m working a lot recently in Pakistan, and see parallels between the recent political assassination there and the events this weekend in Arizona.   People who pull the trigger may be mentally unstabled.  But is it those who hold responsible positions in society who help them identify the target for their unstable rage?    We need a global movement for tolerance.   As Transparency International focuses on corruption, perhaps we need a Tolerance International to call out those who advance their agenda via messages of hate.

Jerry

 

Sadly I even had one respondent who was angry with what I wrote. I would suggest that we all use an antidote whenever we feel hate building within us. My formula is equal parts humor, empathy, kindness, respect for life, tolerance and courage. Yes, even courage, the courage to stand up and resist the virus that is spread by hate. I’ll do my best to supply some of the humor I hope you will supply the rest of the ingredients.

~~~

“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

~~~

There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Hicksville Southern Baptist Church.

It seems the first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on “dedicating yourselves to service” and the Choir Director chose to sing: “I Shall Not Be Moved.”

Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on “giving.”  Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: “Jesus Paid It All.”

By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on “The sins of Gossiping.” Would you believe the Choir Director selected: “I Love To Tell The Story?”

There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in: “Why Not Tonight?”

Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist: “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”

~~~

“Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination.”

Roy M. Goodman

~~~

Her “Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler”

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

~~~

I told my wife I feel old, fat, bald, useless, and stupid. She said, “Don’t be silly you re not old.”

~~~

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each “How much does that come to?” asked Larry. “Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents.” “If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?” said the boy. “Seven dollars and sixty-four cents,” stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, “I don’t want to buy anything…that’s our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it.”

~~~

Want a little peace and quiet around your house??? Buy a phoneless cord.

~~~

After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the office.  I piled them on the table in the break room and posted a sign advertising them as free.

The next day I noticed an addition to my sign.  Below “Free Zucchini,” someone had written, “Save the whales.”

~~~

“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”

Edmund Burke

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Let’s be friends

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anais Nin

  

James Kiberd & Ray

 It will be a short week for Ray’s Daily staff as we will close down at the end of the Day Wednesday in order for us to do a special project. If we stay on schedule we should be back in operation next Monday. I hope that now that the Holidays are behind us and we have had a fresh start for our new year that this year will be one of your most satisfying.

I read recently that working hard for only money and prestige all your life is not worth it if you don’t like what you do. When you think about how many days and how many hours we spend working you would think we would know better than to spend the majority of our waking hours doing things we don’t like.

Happily I have always been one of the fortunate ones for I really liked my jobs, especially in my later years. Un fortunately many who wait until retirement age to find happiness suffer from the loss the socialization that comes from others they spent their time with in the workplace and too often their friends pass on or move away making life even less enjoyable when compared to the past. Also as we age we find we can’t do some of the things we use to do which can make things challenging. Fortunately we all can continue to enjoy our existence by making new friends and doing things that we can do that we never did before.

I don’t subscribe to our trying to be someone else but we can be ourselves and be open to new friends and when we are we often find others just like us who are grateful for the chance to build a new relationship.

If you need some help building additional relationships you may want to consider what Happiness Expert Gretchen Rubin has offered about building friendships, here is what she wrote:

How can you boost the chances that someone will like you? Here are eight strategies to keep in mind – not ways to manipulate people or to be fake, but to make sure that your desire to be friendly effectively shines through:  

1. Smile. Now, this is no shock, but studies do show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct impact on how friendly you’re perceived to be. Also, people mimic the expressions on the faces they see, so if you smile, you’re more likely to be smiled at.

2. Be easily impressed, entertained, and interested. Most people get more pleasure from wowing you with their humor and insight than from being wowed by your humor and insight.

3. Have a friendly, open, engaged demeanor. Lean toward people, nod, say “Uh-huh,” turn your body to face the other person’s body. Don’t turn your body away, cross your arms, answer in monosyllables, or scan the room as the other person talks.

4. Remember trait transfer. In “trait transfer,” whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe a co-worker as brilliant and charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to associate you with those qualities. Conversely, if you describe a co-worker as arrogant and obnoxious, those traits will stick to you. So watch what you say.

5. Laugh at yourself. Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor make you more likable and approachable. However, don’t push this too self-deprecation too far – keep it light. You’ll make others uncomfortable if you run yourself down too much.

6. Radiate energy and good humor. Because of the phenomenon of “emotional contagion,” people catch the emotions of other people, and they prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood. Even if you pride yourself on your cynicism, biting humor, or general edginess, these qualities can be conveyed with warmth.

7. Show your liking for another person. We’re much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. Look for ways to signal that you enjoy a person’s company.

8. Try to remember the person’s name! If you can’t remember it, here are some tips for coping with the situation. Studies suggest that we decide how close a relationship we’ll have with a new acquaintance within the first ten minutes of meeting that person, and that in evaluating people, we weigh early information more heavily than information acquired later. So make a big effort to be openly friendly the first time you meet someone.

~~~

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”

Bible: Ecclesiastes

~~~

The little country store had a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” Inside, there was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” one customer asked the owner.

“Yep, that’s him.”

“That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Before I posted the sign, people kept tripping over him.”

~~~

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

~~~

UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

~~~

During a bank robbery, the police chief told the sergeant to cover all the exits so that the robbers couldn’t get away.

Later, the sergeant reports to the chief, “Sorry, sir, but they got away.”

The chief, very angry, says, “I told you to cover all the exits!”

“I did,” replied the sergeant, “but they got away through the entrance.”

~~~

“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”

Franklin Jones

~~~

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.”

George Eliot

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.