Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2011

Get Lucky!

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”



 I lost an old friend the other day. A woman who had a promising career with a National Dance company years ago who had to quit dance because of physical problems. She left New York and relocated to the Midwest where she worked productively in the private sector always demonstrating her good heart and basic kindness. Unfortunately she became a victim of the employment turmoil of the recent years. She lost her job due to reorganization and then struggled to just find anything that would allow her to live. Sadly the burden became so heavy that she gave up.

I wish I could have helped her but we lost touch a few years back. If has not been easy time for far too many and much of my time is spent meeting with people who are working through similar problems. Fortunately most do work through their problems, many through increasing their involvement with others and seeing themselves in a different light. The one thing most have in common is that they don’t rely on luck, they do something. Today I’d like to share an article with you written by author Sean Platt that I think has great value and can work for everyone.


How To Be Lucky In A World Of Unlucky People

You Need a Network

Isolated, few opportunities will fall your way. New jobs, fresh fortune and random strokes of great luck are often the simple result of being plugged into the right network at the right time. Make it a habit of trading contact information with everyone you meet, then touching base every so often. Keep your exchanges friendly, natural, and helpful at all times. Multiply the people that know who you are and what you do, and you will multiply life’s ample opportunities.

Shift Your Perspective

Mishap and misfortune happen to everyone. You WILL always have setbacks, but it’s important to remember you can’t live in denial. You must actively shift your perspective to a more positive outlook and keep searching for the hidden opportunities that exist in every situation.

Many people are resistant to re-framing their life view because they don’t think it’s “realistic” to look for a positive way to view negative situations, yet even the Great Depression saw the steady rise of many “lucky” millionaires. Lucky people understand that there might not be any way of changing the past, but they can always change their minds and see life in a way that allows them to move forward rather than wallow in place.

Put Yourself Out There

Do you know anyone who sits on the couch or surfs the Net all the live long day with something to show for it by the time the sun sets? I didn’t think so.

The more you participate in life, the more great luck will leap your way. The more active you are, the more opportunities you will have to find yourself in the right place and right time. Instead of waiting at home, hoping luck just happens along, go out and find it, then bring it back home where it belongs.

Be Grateful for What You Do Have

Gratitude puts you in the right frame of mind and makes it easy to recognize the right opportunities. When you incorporate gratitude into your life, it is easy to see all the lucky things that have already been happening to you each and every day. That sense of wonder and natural humility is the true antidote for feeling unlucky.

Learn to Take Chances

You won’t always succeed when you take risks, but remember, every chance taken is a new opportunity to learn and will make every forward step simpler than the one before. And remember, without risk there is no reward. Sure, only betting on a sure thing might mean you’ll never lose. But how often will you win?

We DO make our own luck. Start living like you mean it, and you’ll be lucky, too.

Sean Platt


Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

R.E. Shay


“I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday,” said Doug to Bill, “reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !”


Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?


A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

“Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?”

Joe answered the correct airline.

“Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?”

Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.

“Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it’?”

And John answered, “Mom….”


Always keep several get well cards on the mantel;

if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.


A man calling refrigerator repair service: “My refrigerator isn’t working!”

“What kind is it?”

“It’s a small one.”

“Electric, gas or propane?”


“Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don’t need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well”

Second call, a few minutes later: “The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!”


Without geography, you’re nowhere.


A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”


Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles Schulz


I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, ‘Now you stay. Do you hear me?’ ‘Stay! Stay!’

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said,

‘Why don’t you just put it in park ?’


I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

Thomas Jefferson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile. 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s Daily is shutting down

Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin


We are busy this morning preparing the shop for our special project so I am sending you a past edition of the Daily, I hope you can read it; I had a heck of a time getting the dust blown off the original. As I reported the other day the next Daily will be published next week, hopefully on Monday. Enjoy the rest your week.


Ray’s Daily first published on January 12, 2005

Well gang tomorrow is the last day of the daily for awhile. Yesterday I sent the back issues to those who wanted to fill their time during the dailies absence by reading old issues. For the rest of you, if you are looking for something to do while I am gone I would appreciate your:

  • Reducing the unemployment rate to 4.4%
  • Reducing the national debt by $1,798,447,399
  • Negotiating a final peace settlement in the Middle East
  • Finding the parents of 3,472 children in South Asia
  • Strengthening the dollar by $0.18.

If you can’t fit any of these tasks into your schedule then just think good thoughts, spread good will, and do good things.

Speaking of good things, have you ever stopped and thought about your personal heroes? I have recently. Some of mine are:

  • Colt’s Quarterback Peyton Manning, not because he has broken all the quarterback records, but because of how he spends his time with the kids in Indianapolis, his kindness, and his demeanor.
  • My Pacemaker nurse Nancy, who is always going out of her way to help her patients and spends as much time as she can helping others understand the medical problems they face.
  • Mason, who is well into his eighties and still devotes almost all of his time to helping others; his wisdom, experience, and humanity, is an inspiration to all who know him.
  • Senator Dick Lugar, because of his honesty, intellect, and dedication, but most of all because he rises above petty partisan politics to do what is right.
  • My doctor friend, who works long hours under difficult circumstances and never looses her concern for those she treats; the love in her heart for people is a wonderful therapeutic addition to her healing skills.
  • The children I know who have yet to be tainted by the brush of distrust and cynicism.

I am sure you have similar heroes; maybe it is time to let them know how much they are appreciated.


A hero is someone we can admire without apology.

Kitty Kelley ~


Ray’s (not me) wife, Evelyn, gave him permission to send us the following.

Why Men Are Just Happier People…What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

No “monthly problems.”

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You do not get upset if the toilet seat is left up.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood — all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

You don’t have to reach around you back to hook straps together.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on December 24 in 24 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!


WORRY: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.


While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.

“Tell me,” said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?”

“Neither….” said the man,        “My wife and I play bridge.”


The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

Japanese Proverb


Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!” “OK.



I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!


A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find the Rev from the Mudville Church who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”


To err is human.  To forgive is against company policy.


“Great news, Mr. Smith,” the psychiatrist reported. “After eighteen months of therapy, I can confidently pronounce you completely cured of your kleptomania. You’ll never be tempted by such desires again.”

“That’s great, doctor,” said the patient with a sigh of relief.

“And just to prove it, I want you to stop off at Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store. You’ll feel no temptation whatsoever to shoplift.”

“Oh, doctor, however can I thank you?”

“Well,” suggested the doctor, “if you do have a relapse, I could use a microwave.”


Fear less, hope more;

Whine less, breathe more;

Talk less, say more;

Hate less, love more;

And all good things are yours.

Swedish Proverb


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.”

Ralph W. Sockman


 I, like many others was horrified by the recent shootings in Arizona, especially the death of a nine year old girl who will never have a chance to experience the opportunities we have all been given. In response I wrote the following lead to a couple of articles that I distributed to my Public Affairs list.



It has been proven time and again that hate is the fertilizer that triggers the crazies into action, often ending in death and in some cases even unreasonable social warfare. Conservative or Liberal, Republican or Democrat we all have benefited by a society based on our ability to live our lives without fear of physical harm. I have been distressed for sometime by how many of us tolerate the intemperate language of those who feel that hate is a legitimate response to those who they disagree with. Some even go so far as to cheer on the haters who resort to disastrous behavior.


I don’t know what triggered the recent shooting, we may never know. What I do know is that those of us who stand mute while the haters foment civil unrest cannot be held blameless. I am not smart enough to fix blame for the actions of the shooters but I care enough to feel distraught with what may be a large segment of our society who endorse the catastrophic actions that often result from rhetoric that is based on only rumor and falsehoods.


I pray that at least some of us will care enough about our society that we support dissent but speak out against the use of propaganda and hate whenever we can. Again, right or left, we all have an obligation to each other to protect our society from those who find it easy to forget our right to live without fear. While I don’t necessarily agree with all that is said in these articles, I do agree that we need to do some serious soul searching.




My lead generated a lot of positive response including this from a former newspaper man, Asian expert and international observer.


Nicely said.   I’m working a lot recently in Pakistan, and see parallels between the recent political assassination there and the events this weekend in Arizona.   People who pull the trigger may be mentally unstabled.  But is it those who hold responsible positions in society who help them identify the target for their unstable rage?    We need a global movement for tolerance.   As Transparency International focuses on corruption, perhaps we need a Tolerance International to call out those who advance their agenda via messages of hate.



Sadly I even had one respondent who was angry with what I wrote. I would suggest that we all use an antidote whenever we feel hate building within us. My formula is equal parts humor, empathy, kindness, respect for life, tolerance and courage. Yes, even courage, the courage to stand up and resist the virus that is spread by hate. I’ll do my best to supply some of the humor I hope you will supply the rest of the ingredients.


“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy


There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Hicksville Southern Baptist Church.

It seems the first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on “dedicating yourselves to service” and the Choir Director chose to sing: “I Shall Not Be Moved.”

Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on “giving.”  Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: “Jesus Paid It All.”

By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on “The sins of Gossiping.” Would you believe the Choir Director selected: “I Love To Tell The Story?”

There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in: “Why Not Tonight?”

Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist: “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”


“Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination.”

Roy M. Goodman


Her “Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler”

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.


I told my wife I feel old, fat, bald, useless, and stupid. She said, “Don’t be silly you re not old.”


Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each “How much does that come to?” asked Larry. “Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents.” “If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?” said the boy. “Seven dollars and sixty-four cents,” stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, “I don’t want to buy anything…that’s our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it.”


Want a little peace and quiet around your house??? Buy a phoneless cord.


After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the office.  I piled them on the table in the break room and posted a sign advertising them as free.

The next day I noticed an addition to my sign.  Below “Free Zucchini,” someone had written, “Save the whales.”


“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”

Edmund Burke


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Let’s be friends

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anais Nin


James Kiberd & Ray

 It will be a short week for Ray’s Daily staff as we will close down at the end of the Day Wednesday in order for us to do a special project. If we stay on schedule we should be back in operation next Monday. I hope that now that the Holidays are behind us and we have had a fresh start for our new year that this year will be one of your most satisfying.

I read recently that working hard for only money and prestige all your life is not worth it if you don’t like what you do. When you think about how many days and how many hours we spend working you would think we would know better than to spend the majority of our waking hours doing things we don’t like.

Happily I have always been one of the fortunate ones for I really liked my jobs, especially in my later years. Un fortunately many who wait until retirement age to find happiness suffer from the loss the socialization that comes from others they spent their time with in the workplace and too often their friends pass on or move away making life even less enjoyable when compared to the past. Also as we age we find we can’t do some of the things we use to do which can make things challenging. Fortunately we all can continue to enjoy our existence by making new friends and doing things that we can do that we never did before.

I don’t subscribe to our trying to be someone else but we can be ourselves and be open to new friends and when we are we often find others just like us who are grateful for the chance to build a new relationship.

If you need some help building additional relationships you may want to consider what Happiness Expert Gretchen Rubin has offered about building friendships, here is what she wrote:

How can you boost the chances that someone will like you? Here are eight strategies to keep in mind – not ways to manipulate people or to be fake, but to make sure that your desire to be friendly effectively shines through:  

1. Smile. Now, this is no shock, but studies do show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct impact on how friendly you’re perceived to be. Also, people mimic the expressions on the faces they see, so if you smile, you’re more likely to be smiled at.

2. Be easily impressed, entertained, and interested. Most people get more pleasure from wowing you with their humor and insight than from being wowed by your humor and insight.

3. Have a friendly, open, engaged demeanor. Lean toward people, nod, say “Uh-huh,” turn your body to face the other person’s body. Don’t turn your body away, cross your arms, answer in monosyllables, or scan the room as the other person talks.

4. Remember trait transfer. In “trait transfer,” whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe a co-worker as brilliant and charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to associate you with those qualities. Conversely, if you describe a co-worker as arrogant and obnoxious, those traits will stick to you. So watch what you say.

5. Laugh at yourself. Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor make you more likable and approachable. However, don’t push this too self-deprecation too far – keep it light. You’ll make others uncomfortable if you run yourself down too much.

6. Radiate energy and good humor. Because of the phenomenon of “emotional contagion,” people catch the emotions of other people, and they prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood. Even if you pride yourself on your cynicism, biting humor, or general edginess, these qualities can be conveyed with warmth.

7. Show your liking for another person. We’re much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. Look for ways to signal that you enjoy a person’s company.

8. Try to remember the person’s name! If you can’t remember it, here are some tips for coping with the situation. Studies suggest that we decide how close a relationship we’ll have with a new acquaintance within the first ten minutes of meeting that person, and that in evaluating people, we weigh early information more heavily than information acquired later. So make a big effort to be openly friendly the first time you meet someone.


“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”

Bible: Ecclesiastes


The little country store had a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” Inside, there was a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.

“Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” one customer asked the owner.

“Yep, that’s him.”

“That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”

“Before I posted the sign, people kept tripping over him.”


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.


During a bank robbery, the police chief told the sergeant to cover all the exits so that the robbers couldn’t get away.

Later, the sergeant reports to the chief, “Sorry, sir, but they got away.”

The chief, very angry, says, “I told you to cover all the exits!”

“I did,” replied the sergeant, “but they got away through the entrance.”


“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”

Franklin Jones


“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.”

George Eliot


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell


Indianapolis, Indiana


Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t miss it!

To me every hour of the light and the dark is a miracle, every cubic inch of space is a miracle. 

Walt Whitman


I have a full day today starting with an early appointment with an ENT specialist then weather permitting I will hit the road for a short out of town activity. Yep, you guessed it, it is reprint time at Ray’s Daily headquarters.

Ray’s Daily first published January 7, 2003

I am always amazed at what we can see and feel when just look around us. This was brought to mind again when I read the following.

The man whispered, “God, speak to me” and a meadowlark sang. But the man did not hear.  So the man yelled “God, speak to me” And, the thunder rolled across the sky.  But the man did not listen. The man looked around and said, “God let me see you.” And a star shined brightly.  But the man did not notice.  And, the man shouted, “God show me a miracle.” And a life was born.  But the man did not know.

So, the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here.” Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Don’t miss out on a blessing because it isn’t packaged the way the you expect.


The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

Eden Phillpotts


More from our Nurses.

-:- The patient furthest away from the nurses’ station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses’ station.

-:- You always remember “just one more thing” you need after you’ve gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.

-:- The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.

-:- When you cancel extra staff because it’s so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.

-:- If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.

-:- There is always a way, and it usually doesn’t work.

-:- When management smiles at you, be afraid, very afraid …

-:- Staffing will gladly send you three aides–but you have to float two of your RNs.

-:- As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.

-:- Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you’ve had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.

-:- You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end.

-:- Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn’t doing well.

-:- Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.

-:- The more sophisticated the equipment, the longer it takes to get repaired.

-:- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

-:- As soon as you’ve ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!


“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.”

Victor Borge


Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,

and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.


If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,

then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!!


If the label on the cable on the table at your house

says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,

that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!


When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk,

and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,

then you’ll have to flash the memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM. 

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!


Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.

Milton Berle


A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Yes, that was it!” “You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther.”


May your life be as beautiful as a summer day with just enough clouds to make you appreciate the sunshine.


“I went to an authentic Mexican restaurant. The waiter poured the water and then warned me not to drink it.”

Brad Garrett


Dear God, so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, and I haven’t lost my temper.

I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I’m really glad of that!

But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot of help.

Thank you! Amen.


“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t stumble

The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.




Lately I shared with you my belief that most of our lives are the result of our choices. Yesterday I suggested that a lot of the choices we make are colored by how we perceive the things around us and our willingness to see things in a different light. Of course seeing things differently does not do much if we only observe and just continue along the same path. The good news is that no matter what our age we can make changes if we are willing to do so.

As I thought about my own options I remembered something I wrote in the Daily five years ago that I thought was worth revisiting. Here is what I said:


Yesterday I talked about the multitude of things I would like to learn, do, and see. I did not mean to sound like I was complaining; I do enjoy the fact that I have so many choices. I doubt that even if I had started when I was a teen that I would ever do everything that interests me. I did allude to the fact that naps were one of my choices. I also recommend day-dreaming and unleashing your imagination, for it is there we often find the beginnings of a new adventure. The problem is the fact we often just dream and find all the reasons not to turn some our dreams into reality. Next time why not stop and ask yourself why not instead of automatically saying no to yourself. If you dream about how great lying on a warm beach would be, think about when and how you might do it.

I have often thought that the best time to take a vacation was when you had every reason not to do so. Too much work to do, too many things to do, and so on. Sometimes we are so busy that we don’t realize that we need a break. I think the same principle applies in other ways, like an old friend often says, “If you think you can’t, your right.” So enjoy, if you don’t you will miss a lot.


“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”

J. Lubbock



To: All Hospital Staff

From: Administration/Groundskeeping

Subject: New Cost Cutting Measures


Effective immediately, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the parking areas.

In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The ward clerk will be responsible for watching cardiac monitors and security monitors as well as regular duties.

Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something or may make arrangements with Subway or Pizza Hut to deliver. Coin-operated telephones will be available in patient rooms for this purpose as well as for other calls the patient may wish to make.

Housekeeping and Physical Therapy will be combined. Mops will be issued to those patients who are ambulatory, thus providing range of motion exercises as well as a clean environment.  Families and ambulatory patients may also sign up to clean the rooms of non-ambulatory patients for special discounts on their final bill. Time cards will be provided.

As you can see on the “from” line above, hospital administration is assuming the grounds keeping duties. If an administrator cannot be reached by calling his/her office, it is suggested that you walk outside and listen for the sound of a lawn mower, weed-whacker, etc.

Maintenance is being eliminated. The hospital has subscribed to the Time-Life “How to…” series of maintenance books. These can be checked out from administration, and a toolbox will be standard equipment on all nursing units.

We will be receiving the series at a rate of one volume every other month. We already have the volume on “Basic Wiring,” but if a non-electrical problem occurs, please try to handle it as best you can until the appropriate volume arrives.

Cutbacks in phlebotomy staff will be accommodated by only performing blood-related tests on patients who are already bleeding.

Physicians will be informed that they may order no more than two X-rays per patient stay. This is due to the turnaround time required by Photomat. Two prints will be provided for the price of one, and physicians are being advised to clip coupons from the Sunday paper if they want extra sets. Photomat will also honor competitors coupons for one-hour processing in emergency situations, so if you come across any extra coupons please clip out and send these to ER.

In view of the hot summer temperatures, the Utilities Dept. has been asked to install individual meters in each patient room, office, etc., so that electrical consumption can be monitored and appropriately billed. Fans will be available for sale or lease in the hospital gift shop.

In addition to the current recycling programs, a bin for collection of unused fruit and bread will soon be provided on each floor.

Families, patients, and the few remaining employees are asked to contribute discarded produce. Pharmacy will utilize this for antibiotic production. These will be available for purchase and, coincidentally, will soon be the only antibiotics on our HMO’s formulary.


If you find in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.

Maya Angelou


Readers of William Safire’s “On Language” column in THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE were asked years ago to give sports-related definitions for common words:

Superficial:  A really good referee

Beleaguered:  Stuck in the semi pros

Hermit:  Girl’s baseball glove

Saturnine:  Baseball team that plays on weekends

Truncate:  Tailgate party given by a compact-car owner

Wrinkle:  A small hockey arena

Haiku:  Signal to center from a Japanese quarterback 


One discovers a friend by chance, and cannot but feel regret that 20 or 30 years of life may have been spent without the least knowledge of him.

Charles Dudley Warner


Jane told me that there are seven stages to the married cold

Stage 1: Sugar Dumpling, I’ve really been worried about my baby girl. That’s a bad sniffle, and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep that’s going around. I’m going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food’s terrible, but I’m going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini’s. I have it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, Darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I’m going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for Papa.

Stage 3: Maybe you’d better lie down, Honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Do we have any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, Dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids, and gotten the dishes done, and the floor mopped, you’d better lie down for a while.

Stage 5: Why don’t you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: Why don’t you just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening?

Stage 7: Would you stop coughing on me? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?


“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put into doing it.

It is not how much we give, but how  much love we put into giving.”

Mother Teresa


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What did you see?

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.



Have you noticed how what we see is often a lot different than what others see, sometimes even totally different? I know you have often heard that perception is reality to the beholder. In my view perception is often the result of what we have conditioned ourselves to look for. If we are always looking for the worst, the chances are we will believe we see it all around us. While if we search for the best we will often find it most everywhere we look.

I think our vision also is often clouded by our values and our beliefs. If we convince ourselves that only material and expensive luxuries are important we will often fail to see the good that exists in even the simplest of things. I’ll say it again it is not the things we accumulate that provides our worth, it is the friends we make and the memories we leave behind.

 The other day I ran across one of my favorite stories that shows what an open minded youngster saw that his materialistic father missed. I have found that if you look through eyes like the son’s that you too then will be able to see what he saw. Let me share the story with you.


Lessons Learned

Author Unknown

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son.

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered: “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

“We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

“We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

“We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”


The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.



My wife went to high school around this time; I guess she did not take home economics.

The following is from a 1950’s Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some DON’TS: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.


“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, “Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.”

Paula Poundstone


An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.

“Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman was your doctor.”


Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?


A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker, you can’t even imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place. I’m always going around the house organizing things.”

The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married, I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate you take, wash it when you’re done and put it back in its place.'”

The first woman asked, “Did it help?”

Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”


Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.



I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.

“You’re going to lose the contents of your briefcase,” I warned him.

Just then, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, “How on earth did you do that?”


The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.



Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Accentuate the positive

If things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Roger Babson


I got the following in an e-mail from author Jon Gordon yesterday (www.JonGordon.com). Since it provides a slightly different spin on the theme of the last few Dailies I thought I would share it with you.



1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can know that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: My purpose is_______________________.

3. Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “thank you walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

4. Instead of being disappointed about where you are think optimistically about where you are going.

5. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

6. Remember that adversity is not a dead-end but a detour to a better outcome.

7. Focus on learning, loving, growing and serving.

8. Believe that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.

9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

10. Mentor someone and be mentored by someone.

11. Live with the 3 E’s. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.

12. Remember there’s no substitute for hard work.

13. Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.

14. Implement the http://www.NoComplainingRule.com. Complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards you feel better but everyone around you feels sick.

15. Read more books than you did in 2010. I happen to know of a few good ones. 🙂

16. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.

17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.

18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:

I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished____________.

19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.

20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.


Few would disagree with Jon’s suggestion but unfortunately fewer still will take them to heart and follow his advice. I think what I might do is implement one this week and then add another one or two the following week and do so until they become part of my normal routine. I am not sure I could start doing them all at once even if I thought I could since if I did my family and friends would wonder what I was up to. Bottom line though is that a zestful life is out there for us to experience, all we have to do is work at it.


“In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful,

But the gratefulness that makes us happy.”

Albert Clarke


For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.

He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”

The boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?”


May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.


Last summer a friend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Carmel, Indiana. Our waitress looked like a surfer girl:  athletic with a great tan and blond hair. Mulling over the menu, my friend asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a long blank look, and then replied, “Well, no.  We have it, like, just about every day.”


“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it.  I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”


A little boy took his dog on a “take your pet to school” day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet. Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.

Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, “Mindy, how much is two plus two minus four?”

The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent.

“Right!” exclaimed the boy.

His dog won first prize.


Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo


A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult.” the man replied.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”


“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Goodness. I could be eating a slow learner.”

Lynda Montgomery


My friend called a Venetian blind repairman to come pick up a faulty blind. The next morning, while the family was having breakfast, the doorbell rang. My friend’s wife went to the door and the man outside said, “I’m here for the Venetian blind.”

Excusing herself in a preoccupied way, the wife went to the kitchen, fished a dollar from the food money, pressed it into the repairman’s hand and then gently closed the door and returned to the table.

“Somebody collecting,” she explained, pouring the coffee.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Agnes Repplier


Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Want to live longer?

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”


 I read an article recently that reinforced my belief that behavior has a big influence on the length of life. The article quoted studies that said that people who are chronic complainers, fault-finders and constantly angry don’t live as long as those who avoid such behavior. It is not that we kill them off, although some folks might think that is a good idea, it is that they become more disease prone. Even before having read the article I never understand why so many seem to choose to be miserable. And if I ever find the guy who taught them that misery loves company I’ll tell him a thing or two. It is not that these folks drag me down into their funk, it is just that it is hard work trying to find a redeeming quality in their demeanor. In fact if it wasn’t for my firm belief that they could change I wouldn’t even try.

I know I have told you before but I’ll do it again. I just don’t have the mental capacity to store everything I see or hear so I have to be selective. In my case it has become as if I had the choice between visiting a festive garden or a cesspool, of course I would choose the garden. So why would I ever go out of my way to find the worst in people or things which often results in missing the good?

I don’t mean we should ignore reality, we shouldn’t, what I do mean is to look at reality objectively. If events happen that we can’t change we can accept the realty and move on. If things aren’t right and we can do something about them then we should do our part to make them better, and that my friends is where happiness often lurks. If we remove the clutter from our minds and our days we free ourselves up to do both fun and meaningful things.

This weekend past weekend was an example of what can be done. I joined with a few others and worked at our Indianapolis Colt’s professional football game where we gave about 65,000 people the opportunity to help others by making cash contributions to the Salvation Army. The good news is that we raised a lot of money that will help the poor, the homeless, and those in need. The even better news was how warmly we were treated by those who stopped to help. We were paid for our labor with smiles, hugs and in one case even a kiss. The bottom line is there is hope for us all as demonstrated by these good people who don’t accept what’s wrong, they try to do what they can to make it right.


“This life is not for complaint, but for satisfaction”

Henry David Thoreau


A lawyer was trying to console a weeping widow. Her husband had passed away without a will. “Did the deceased have any last words?” asked the lawyer.

“You mean right before he died?” sobbed the widow.

“Yes,” replied the lawyer. “They might be helpful if it’s not too painful for you to recall.”

“Well,” she began, “he said ‘Don’t try to scare me! You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with that gun.'”


An appreciative heart attracts more of what it appreciates.


There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!”

The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands.  He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!”

The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.”

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”


“If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.”


One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.  As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.  The next year things were different, however.

“The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

“How wonderful!” the friend exclaimed.  “What do you think caused the change in behavior?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” the grandmother replied.  “This year I didn’t sign the checks.”


A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean question: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well or ill?

John Steinbeck


Norman and Esther Melman of New Haven, CT, newly married friends of mine, were visiting us when the topic of children came up.

Esther said she wanted three children, while Norman said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, his new wife retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love the third one as if it’s your own.”


They can because they think they can.



We have been married for almost 58 years.  Whenever anyone asks me how we have stayed married for so long, I tell them it is because we are compatible. We have an agreement, I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.


If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

Frank A. Clark


An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidently forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor’s office very pleased with the advice.

When they got home, the wife said, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don’t you write that down so you won’t forget?”

“Nonsense,” said the husband, “I can remember a dish of ice cream!”

“Well,” said the wife, “I’d also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you’ll forget.”

“Don’t be silly,” replied the husband. “A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!”

“OK, dear, but I’d like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you’d really better write it down now. You’ll forget,” said the wife.

“Come now, my memory’s not all that bad,” said the husband. “No problem — a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.”

With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs.

The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, “I knew you wouldn’t get it right!! Where’s the toast??”


He that hopes to look back hereafter with satisfaction upon past years must learn to know the present value of single minutes, and endeavor to let no particle of time fall useless to the ground.

Samuel Johnson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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