Ray's musings and humor

“We have a world to conquer…one person at a time…starting with ourselves.”

Nikki Giovanni

 

A friend told me the other day that she felt that Ray’s Daily has helped her and others change something in their lives for the better. I do not profess to have any magical skill that results in folks making their life a little bit better because of something I have done. What I am grateful for is that the Daily provides me the reason to think about my own world, my needs, my weaknesses and best of all discovering those things that give me so much pleasure resulting in my finding something to share with you that may have meaning.

For some I wish I could work magic or do more but just visiting with them via the Daily is rewarding to me in itself. I have some readers that only read the top half for to learn what I have discovered while others only read the bottom half which they say brighten their day. I even have a few readers who have saved every Daily for years and revisit the ones that they enjoyed the most whenever the need arises. A favorite friend who has responsibility for a major global public health effort and who is too busy read the Daily most days saves them all and then when things get her down she will pull up one or two which she said gets her going again.

But enough of that, the key thing for me was that my friend said the Daily can help us change lives. As I thought about it I realized just how right she was, we have the opportunity to enrich our lives everyday if only we are willing to change when opportunities present themselves. I don’t necessarily mean big things, in fact in my case it is often just me getting out of the rut that comes from too much routine. I honestly believe that the changes that age, career moves, changing cultures and children leaving the nest are what make life interesting. It is those who resist change and try to hold on to the past that are doomed to disappointment and unhappiness.

History marches on and we write our own everyday. We can’t change the past, we can however choose to enjoy the present and ride into the future with and open mind and a willingness to change and make adjustments that will allow us to enjoy what’s out there.

~~~

When you are through changing, you are through.

Bruce Barton

~~~

Itzic is dying in hospital. He asks for the Greek Orthodox priest to be called so that he can dictate his last will and testament.

The priest arrives and Itzic starts to dictate. “One third of my wealth is to go to the Jewish school for girls. A second third is for the Jewish school for boys.

The priest writes as asked.

“The last third I leave to the Rabbi to build a library,” Itzic continues.

The priest writes then asks, “As you are leaving your entire wealth to The Jewish community, why did you call me and not the Rabbi?”

“Are you crazy?!” screams Itzic. “The Rabbi in the contagious diseases ward?”

~~~

It isn’t difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill – just add a little dirt.

~~~

WE MUST STOP THIS SINISTER PLOT!

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to discover how long our street had become! I never noticed when I was younger that it’s been changing!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also have a feeling that these people are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, something has been making people who used to be my own age so much older than I am.

I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection…. and I noticed that even mirrors were not made the way they used to be!

Clothing manufacturers are part of the conspiracy too! Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Hah! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *everyone* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“The best way to get people to think out of the box is not to create the box in the first place.”

Martin Cooper

~~~

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Johnny, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Johnny burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

~~~

A woman always remembers where and when she got married; a man sometimes forgets why.

~~~

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”

The 94 year old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses “Was I going up the stairs or down?”

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

The woman says….. “I’ll miss you.”

~~~

Life is its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement, and one tries to arrest them at one’s eternal peril.

Laurens van der Post

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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