Ray's musings and humor

Thanks!

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.

Cicero

 

It has been a busy five days since I last composed a new Daily. My brother is in from Europe for a few days and his visit has brought multiple family generations together for dinner to reminisce, eat and hang out. We even had a chance to visit a great Titanic exhibit at our state museum, the wisdom of doing it with our cruise coming up was questioned by some. Last week while I was running hither and yon I accomplished more than usual which was great.

Of course good fortune settled on me as well as it often does. You see I saved $250 on Friday; at least that’s what the auto dealer told me when he gave me a bill for $460 to repair my gas tank venting problem. It was graciously offered because I was such a good customer and that it was the fourth time I had it in for the same problem. Maybe if I bring it in six times the next time I will again get the good customer discount. The only thing I am struggling with is where I would get the money required to pay for the discount. Oh well, life goes on and the car really is fixed this time.

This is going to be a busy week for me with our US Thanksgiving Day holiday on Thursday, I am also meeting with college student grandsons for lunch on two different days.

~~~

As I reflect I again realize how much I have to be thankful for. I just wish that more folks could find happiness in their lives. I meet far too many people that are lonesome, down on the world and unhappy. My retired professor friend Bud sent the following to me a year or so ago and with all the negativism around us these days I thought it was time to share the message.

 A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, shaved perfectly with his hair fashionably combed and even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. 
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. ‘I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.  
Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; ‘ Just wait.’ That doesn’t ‘have anything to do with it,’ he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged …. it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it .  ‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. 
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.  
Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4.. Give more.

5. Expect less. 

~~~
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point – he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home.

“Well,” the woman said, “could I please wait for her?”

The man directed her to the living room and left her there for more than three hours.

After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked, “May I know where your wife is?”

“She went to the cemetery,” he replied.

“And when is she coming back?”

“I don’t really know,” he said. “She’s been there eleven years now.”

~~~

“My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there.”

Ron Richards

~~~

What the dictionary does not tell you definitions:

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing or sucking on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

~~~

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands….

~~~

“Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 cents.”

Billiam Coronel

~~~

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes?” replied the teacher…

“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

~~~

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

Epictetus

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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