Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2010

Ray has returned

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice.

It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

William Jennings Bryan





I just got back from my assignment and have to leave again shortly for the day, so here we go again from out of yesteryear a dusty Ray’s Daily.


Ray’s Daily published on September 16, 2003


As some of you know I also send out travel tips to some fellow travelers. The following is so true I thought I should share it with everyone.


10 Things I Learned This Summer

I’ve spent many an hour in airports and airplanes this summer. Here’s ten things I learned.

1. I learned that some people – make that most people – shouldn’t wear shorts when traveling on airplanes.

2. I learned that my shoes pose a threat to passenger security in San Jose but not in Dallas, and that I need "a government issued ID" to board a plane in Seattle but not in Fort Myers.

3. I learned that many travelers are sporting tattoos, the cost of which would have been better spent on liposuction or, better yet, a good pair of running shoes.

4. I learned that kids don’t belong in airports and for sure not on airplanes. If parents want junior to spend some time with granny, granny should be the one on a plane.

5. I learned that "muscle shirts" are misnamed.

6. I learned that a minute – as in "Folks, we will be boarding in just a minute" – means up to a half hour or more in airlinespeak.

7. I learned that baseball caps worn backwards cover smaller brains than those worn forward.

8. I learned that not all travelers bathe regularly.

9. I learned that many airline gate agents still treat their customers poorly… sometimes very poorly.

10. I learned that halter tops are more honestly named than those muscle shirts.

By Dr. Terry Riley a psychologist and travel security authority. He is author of the popular book Travel Can Be Murder.


Travel makes a wise man better, and a fool worse

Thomas Fuller


"You Know You Work In Corporate America If:"

You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.

You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.

Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home from work.

Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

Your boss’ favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you’re freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."

Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."

Change is the norm.

The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

You read this entire list and understood it.


The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.


While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny’s Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown.

Two young families were also in line to the see the sites. Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line.

"My name is Kilroy. What’s yours?" asked the first boy.


"My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?" asked.

Little Johnny replied, "My Daddy’s a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Kilroy.

Johnny replied, "No, just the regular kind."


Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.


Moshe and Miriam, a young orthodox married couple, were expecting their first baby. Unfortunately, Miriam’s water broke on Shabbos and they had no choice but to call for a taxi to take them to the hospital’s maternity ward. Because Moshe wanted to try and minimize the Shabbos violation, he told the dispatcher that he must send them only a non-Jewish driver. The taxi quickly arrived, but when Moshe and Miriam were getting in, they overheard the dispatcher on the two-way radio ask the driver, "Have you picked up the anti-semites yet?"


Why are you "in" a movie, but you’re "on" TV?


A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn’t allowed.

"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.

"That’s OK Dad," the son says, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."


"People will forget what you say, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."


A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately.  He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.

The psychic went into a trance.  A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"

"Yes, my husband."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, my husband."

"Happier than you were with me?"

"Yes, my husband."

"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"

"I’m not in Heaven, dear."


"On cable TV they have a weather channel – 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window."


Dan Spencer


Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"

The other replies: "I’m fine, thanks."

"And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?"

"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."

"Meditating? What’s that?"

"I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!"


Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow, it empties today of strength.

Corrie ten Boom


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It is our fault!

I’m tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn’t work.

Of course it doesn’t work. We are supposed to work it.

Alexander Woollcott




Have you noticed lately that people who know the least scream the loudest. It is if they believe that if they say it loud enough and often enough it will make whatever it is true. I am especially dismayed by those who spend little time verifying what they scream about and ignore anyone who has information that would help them understand.

I suppose it may be for some the frustration that comes from having problems and not knowing why so it must be somebody‘s fault. We want to blame the bursting of the housing bubble on everyone but those who bought what they could not afford and those who refinanced regularly based on unrealistic appraisals and then took as much out as they could to buy things they didn’t need. I know I have said it before but I think we have again proven the old comic character Pogo right when he said “I have seen the enemy and he is us.”

Soon millions will vote on the basis of their buying into negative advertising and video images crafted by professionals without any understanding of the issues or what needs to be done to resolve them. My medical professional friends as an example say the system is broken and that it needs to change whether they support the Health Care legislation or not. Even the least knowledgeable of us knows we can not sustain services, including education, Social Security and Medicare by borrowing from the future using money provided by others. It seems like many of us want it all and don’t want to pay for much of it. Of course those who don’t care enough to look believe that spending cuts and the elimination of fraud and abuse would solve all the problems and yet those that look realize that cuts cannot be made made deep enough to solve the problem without cutting services that most people demand.

Sadly we won’t elect politicians who have the courage to tell the truth. We give away our votes when we let extremists select the candidates in the primaries that the rest of us vote on in the general elections where we get to choose only the least worse candidate. I have been an active Republican most of my life but have drifted away from taking an active to role in the process, so I am part of the problem, and I am sorry for that.

I don’t know what it will take but I do know we can’t go on turning our government, and the world our grandchildren will inherit, over to leaders who win elections only because of the dollars spent by vested interests. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to throw the good guys out for I have met and known many politicians who are hard working, intelligent legislators that deserve our support. I just wish there were more of them. I cannot abide the current polarization that has resulted in trying to block everything needed to solve problems only so the obstructionists can maintain a political advantage. Both parties are guilty and unfortunately it appears that a large number of the candidates selected this time around are even more strident in their beliefs which could result in continued failure of our governments at every level.

Sorry about the tirade but I am frustrated with our failures and our unwillingness to take any personal responsibility. I am just glad that you are one of those who has  studied the problems and looked at the alternatives. For those others that only see a few sound bites and never learn the differences between the candidates other than through hype and hysteria my moto has become for election day "If you don’t know, don’t go." This is especially true for state and local offices were far too many don’t even know who is running.


I will be on special assignment the next two days, fortunately it has nothing to do with politics, I will be in search of good stuff to share. So there will be no Daily for a few days.


“Which is the best government? That which teaches us to govern ourselves”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Here is what a female reader sent us some time ago:

Being a parent changes everything.  But being a parent also changes with each baby.  Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?


1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (my favorite one)

1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays. 2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass. 3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!


On the tombstone of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:  Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.  The Good Die Young.


A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he’d just escaped a tornado.

"What’s wrong?" a woman asked.

"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.

"What? But Houlihan’s the worst player I’ve ever seen. How could he have beaten you?"

"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for a handicap. I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes – any handicap he wanted. He said, ‘Just give me two gotchas.’"

"What’s a gotcha?" asked the woman.

"That’s what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said, ‘You’ll see.’ Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he screamed out ‘Gotcha!’"

"I can guess what happened," the woman said.

"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I missed the ball completely."

"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that’s only one swing. How did he win the game?"

The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball while waiting for that second ‘gotcha!’"


“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”

 George Bernard Shaw


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What do you think I said?

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw




I was working with a friend at a community garden the other day and we got together afterwards for a bite to eat and some conversation. As we left we spoke briefly about effective interpersonal communications. As I thought about it later I was reminded of how many times I did not really understand what the other person was trying to say. In reality it is not critical that I hear the words being said, it is critical I hear what is meant by the words.

In this day and age we are the result of our different experiences, professions, cultures, age groups and even more. Many of us fall into the trap of believing that people define their words the same as we do. It is almost as if we believe we are the norm and anyone who does speak or understand as we do has a problem.

Over the years, in both my business and personal experience I found that more often than not it was I who did not understand what was meant by someone communicating with me. What is even worse is when I thought I did and walked away thinking we had agreement on some action only to find out that we did not and I ended up not meeting the other persons expectations.

Fortunately I got into the habit of paraphrasing and feeding back not just the words I heard but what I thought the words meant. Those of you who know me have often heard me say “If I understood you correctly you said…..” to this day I am amazed of how valuable recap and clarification can be.

Here are a few of my personal communication beliefs; I just wish I was more diligent in their practice.

  • Give your full attention to what is being said, really listen.
  • If you start to loose the drift of what is being said, interrupt and ask for clarification so you can get back on track.
  • Use words that you both understand.
  • Respect the others effort to communicate and their right to their viewpoint.
  • Don’t try to overwhelm them with your viewpoint or insist on agreement; rather ask them to consider what you have to offer.
  • Feed back what you understood and ask if it is correct.
  • Make sure if actions are required that your expectations of what will be done are exactly the same.
  • If you can’t agree don’t walk away mad, do it gracefully and you’ll get a chance to agree another day.

Now to be honest, there are folks the haters, the naysayers, the constant critics, the folks that don’t care, those unwilling to consider alternatives, and I hate myself for saying this, the obviously idiotic, who I leave as quickly as I can avoiding the wasting of precious time trying to help them see alternatives.


“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

Anthony Robbins


You Know Your In Trouble When

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.

The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

You’re so lonely that you invite the peeping Tom in… and he says no.

Your children’s school calls to surrender.

Your mother approves of the person you’re dating.

Your plants do better when you don’t talk to them.


Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.


Little Johnny and Little Mary were talking one day. Little Mary asked "what is the highest number you have ever counted up?" "I counted up to 1,279 once" Johnny answered. "WoW!

Really? Why did you stop at 1,279?"

Mary asked. "Because church was over."


Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.



A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."

There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"


Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.


A devoutly Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, after careful inquiry, they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Christian dogs.  They found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied eagerly, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed; they immediately purchased the animal, and went home (piously  of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Christian dog and his religious skills, they called the dog and began showing him off.  The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about "normal" tricks.

"Well," they said, "let’s find out."   Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"  Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the guest’s forehead, closed his eyes, and began to pray.


"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion."

Ambrose Bierce


Once there was a fisherman that had just pulled into the dock after fishing for several hours, when a idiot on shore asked, "Did you catch all them fish?"

The fisherman replied, "Nope, talked them into giving up."


Discover wildlife! Have kids!


On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued,  "Anybody caught breaking this rule a second time will be fined $60.  Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.  Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How   much for a season pass?"


 “Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.”

Sue Patton Thoele


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Priority Time

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.

Henry Van Dyke




Over the last few days I asked if you really knew yourself and even provided some tips on how you could discover who you really are today. I hope it has resulted in your gaining some insight you didn’t have before, it always does for me. Usually I end up seeing that there are things I am doing that are either not important, interesting or worth my time. Sometimes I even discover that there are things that make me uncomfortable and knowing what they are allows me to decide if I want to avoid them or confront them.

Many of us also discover that we load ourselves down with so much stuff that we have little time to reward ourselves with enjoyment. If you are in that category I would suggest that you lock in time for yourself everyday and make it a top priority. Unfortunately some of us do that and find that we have forgotten how to enjoy life. If you are one of those folks I have something for you, it is 30 simple ways to enjoy life published by Donald Latumahina a few years ago. Here is what he wrote:

Do you want to live a happy life? If you say yes like most people do, then it’s important to learn to enjoy life. Some people may think that they can only enjoy life when they already have a lot of money or have a successful career. But that’s not true. You can enjoy your life where you are with what you already have. You can enjoy your life now.

Here I will share with you how to enjoy life. But before that, I’d like to share two tips that are essential to live a happy life. The first one is to be grateful. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is. No matter how many pleasant things you do, if you don’t learn to be grateful you will always see things negatively.

The second one is to slow down. Life has a lot of simple things you can enjoy. But if you move too fast you will overlook most of them. So don’t be in a hurry. Don’t move too quick. Slow down and pay attention to the world around you. Most of the ways I’m about to share will work well only if you slow down.

With those two tips in mind, here are 30 ways to enjoy life. Pick the ones that work for you:

1.Enjoy your meal. Don’t just eat. Taste it and appreciate its richness.

2.Learn to cook.

3.Feel music and not just listen to it.

4.Play music. More than just listening, playing music allows you to express yourself.


6.Gather with old friends.

7.Take a walk in the park.

8.Go hiking.

9.Read a novel.

10.Find and watch a movie you like. 11.Give yourself a lazy day.

12.Play board games with your friends.

13.Have a candle-light dinner with your spouse.

14.Play mini games.

15.Read comics.

16.See beautiful pictures.

17.Read inspiring quotes.

18.Learn to paint.

19.Read a classic book.

20.Exercise with friends.

21.Watch funny videos.

22.Play with kids.

23.Play a mind game.

24.Have a cup of coffee.

25.Get a massage.

26.Go to a museum.

27.Go to a theater.

28.Watch sunrise.

29.Take pictures.

30.Browse your photo album for your treasured memories.

I’m sure there are still a lot of other ways to enjoy life. What is your favorite way?


Look, I don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive.

Mel Brooks


Why do we?

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

We spend untold thousands transporting kids a mile to school where we insist they exercise in their million dollar gyms.

We have more TV sets and watch more TV than any other country in the world, yet no TV sets are manufactured in the US.

We have more time saving appliances and devices than ever before in history and never have time to do anything.

We insist on strict enforcement of traffic laws but are highly offended should we get ticketed for a violation.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we’re at the game, we talk about business, shopping or fishing.

We’re highly offended by any reference to sex on TV during the times kids are watching, but never notice the violence, mayhem and murder.

We’re supposed to be one of the most civilized Christian nations on earth, but we still can’t deliver payrolls without an armored car.

We demand a good balance of trade, yet lust after almost any imported product.

We have more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to help keep us from eating it.


"Everybody is Ignorant, just on different subjects."

Will Rogers


Stumpy prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Stumpy to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Stumpy’s face dropped as the guest called out,

"It’s the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."


The trouble with being punctual is that no one notices it when you are.


A new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.  So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure.  You carry the suitcases!"


Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?


A man traveling in southern Indiana was headed for the Kentucky border…when he saw a large sign… "LAST CHANCE FOR $2.25 GAS!!!"

He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but figured he’d better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up his tank.

As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?"

The attendant replied, "$2.10…"


It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up — that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Introduce Yourself

How little do we know that which we are! How less what we may be!

Lord Byron




Yesterday I asked if you really knew yourself. The reason I did was few of us stop once in awhile and interview ourselves trying to learn what we like and dislike. The world changes everyday and so do we, often it is so gradual that we don’t notice what is going on. In fact many of us just take ourselves for granted and move through day after day after day in the same old way. We exist only, accepting what ever is thrust upon us with out stopping to ask why our life has seemed to be purposeless.

In my view we can’t learn what we might be if we don’t know what we are. If you spend sometime interviewing yourself asking in depth questions you might be surprised at who you now are.

Here is something I got from eHow that can help you to learn more about yourself:


How to Know Yourself Better

Most of us believe that we know ourselves better than anyone in this world. But a lot of people are still strangers to themselves. Why? Not everyone is courageous enough to travel the path within to achieve a better self-understanding. For a person to have a well-lived life, it is important that he know himself good. If you are one of those who are striving to know yourself better, these steps will guide you:

1 Take a moment to write down things that you know "very good" about yourself – your interests, likes, dislikes, preferences, hobbies, strengths, weaknesses, hopes, fears, dreams, etc. Reflect on these qualities and find out how they impact your overall life. By creating a list of your personal attributes that you are familiar with, you are keeping yourself in touch with your self.

2 Take personality and psychological tests. This is another way to know yourself better. The internet has a rich source of free online personality and psychological assessments and tests. By answering them, you will understand more how you think, make decisions, interact with people, do things, choose mate, live your life, etc.

3 Know yourself better by understanding people’s perceptions about you. Pay attention to what your family, friends, coworkers, etc. observe and say about you. Sometimes, you think you know yourself enough, but other people who see you from their point of view can offer you some insights how you act and get understood by others. Be careful, however, to balance both perceptions to come up with an objective view of yourself.

4 Keep on learning who you are. It’s a lifetime process. Everyday you will be given new insights about yourself. Writing a journal will help you keep track of these new discoveries. Maintaining that hunger to know yourself better will make you more self-aware, opening up new opportunities to enrich your life.


Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.




    1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

    2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is canceled out by the diet coke

    3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do

    4. Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

    5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner

    6. Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes: popcorn, choc tops, maltezers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

    7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage

    8. Food licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something

    9. Foods that are the same color have the same amount of fat. Examples are: spinach and mint ice-cream, apples and red jelly snakes

    10. Chocolate is like a food-color wild card and may be substituted for any other color

    11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass

    12. Food consumed from someone else’s plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate (oh, how fat likes to cling)! And remember: STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS!!!


Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster


Mrs. Berkowitz, shopping in the supermarket, went from counter to counter humming and singing to herself.

"You seem to be very happy," remarked the clerk.

"I have every reason to be," replied the woman. "I’ve got a beautiful home, two lovely children, a nice bank account, my husband’s life is insured for $1,000,000 and his health is far from robust."


I know so little that it astonishes me how many people know even less.


The woman was always frequenting small antique shops, but regardless of what she saw there, she always complained about something.  The quality was poor, the prices too high, or the selection was limited.

The shop owners took it in stride, but one day, while ranting and raving, she yelled at the clerk, "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?"

The clerk simply smiled and replied, "Possibly, ma’am, because we’re too polite."


"Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies."

Gene Hill


While teaching children about world religions, a teacher asked her students to bring a symbol of their family’s faith to class. The next day, she asked each student to come forward and share the symbol with the class.

The 1st child said, "I’m Muslim, and this is my prayer rug."

The 2nd child said, "I’m Jewish, and this is my family’s menorah."

The 3rd child said, "I’m Roman Catholic, and this is my Mom’s rosary."

The 4th child said, "I’m Greek Orthodox, and this is an icon of my patron saint."

The 5th child said, "I’m Southern Baptist, and this is my casserole dish."


TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.



My daughter-in-law, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth.  Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered. 

Her response:  "Just meet me in the parking lot!"


All men should strive

to learn before they die

what they are running from, and to, and why.

James Thurber


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Do you know who you are?

“Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.”

Og Mandino




Have you ever thought about how you and others define you? If someone asked who you are, what would you say? Would it be your occupation? Something like, I am an accountant or would it be something else? I might say that I have been around for a long time and keep enjoying living my life, that in a way defines me more accurately than telling them what I use to do for a living or anything else too specific. My self-definition provides me a wide enough umbrella that all the other things I am can exist under it.

My concern with this is the fact that I meet so many people who define themselves so rigidly by what they think they are or what others tell them they are that they lock themselves in a cave limited to always being what they have always been. Many of these folks struggle as the world changes around them, they only move when they are forced to react. I am afraid they are so bound by their own convention that they will never find all that exists for the taking if they just break out of their shell.

What brings me joy is watching people throw off their bindings as they realize that living is a process filled with ever changing opportunity. We do not have to let the world define us, rather we can adapt to whatever it offers and make the decisions that allow us not only to survive but also to thrive.

I had the good fortune over the last few days to spend time with three different people who not only understand that they can break out from the unsatisfactory lives they had led but who also have demonstrated that they can do more, see more and enjoy more that they ever thought possible. All three reported that they now were excited by the landscape ahead and no longer believed that they would ever again be trapped in a life that was filled only with mundane regimen and forced reaction to external events. Three different people on three different days shared their new selves and it was infectious.

What about you? Who are you really? Are you what you will always be and is that OK or is it time to enrich your life by building a new you?


“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.”

Denis Waitley


Odd Signs From England

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.


Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.

Norman Vincent Peale


A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says, "Hey, you’re a duck."

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight," observes the duck.

"Yeah, but I mean — you can TALK," says the barman.

"Guess your ears are fine, too," answers the duck. "Now, can I have a beer, please."

The barman serves the duck a pint and asks him, "So, what brings a duck like you to these parts?"

"Oh," says the duck, "I’m working on the building site across the road. We’ll be here for a couple of weeks, and I’ll most likely be in every lunch hour for a pint." The duck slurps down his beer, wiggling his tail happily. Just as he said, the duck waddles over from his job at the building site every day and has his lunch-time lager.

The next week, the circus comes to town on its annual rounds. The Circus owner wanders in for a pint and the barman tells him about the talking duck. "You should get this duck to join your circus," he says. "For a little consideration, I could hook you up with this duck, and you could make lots of bucks. Everyone would love to see a talking duck, I think. Don’t you?" The circus man nods his agreement excitedly while sipping his beer, and the barman agrees to talk to the duck about the circus.

The following day, the duck comes in as usual for his pint. The barman says to the duck (with dollar signs in his eyes), "You know, the circus is in town, and yesterday I was chatting to the owner about you. He’s very interested in you."

"Really?" says the duck.

"Yeah. You could make a lot of money there. I can fix it up for you easily."

"Hang on," said the duck. "You did say a CIRCUS, didn’t you?"

"That’s right."

"You’re talking a big tent, right?


"That’s canvas, isn’t it?" said the duck.

"Of course," replied the barman, "I can get you a job there starting tomorrow. The circus owner’s dead keen on the idea."

The duck looked very puzzled, "What does he want with a plasterer?"


She said:

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift to women?

Exchange him.


A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms."


By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!


A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost. After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, the spotted a woman at the end of a corridor.

"How do I get outside?" he asked.

"Dial 9," she replied.


Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.


The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.  He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the auditor scrutinized their every detail.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

"Why would you say that?" wondered the broker.

"Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."


We imagine that we want to escape our selfish and commonplace existence, but we cling desperately to our chains.

Anne Sullivan Macy


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

The best time is now!

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

Napoleon Hill




Most of us in the U.S. have a three day weekend starting tomorrow; Monday is Labor Day, a national holiday. Yesterday morning a friend asked me what I had planned for my three days. While I do have a few appointments I really have mostly available time, time I can use leisurely or time I can put to good use. As I thought about it I remembered something someone sent to me years ago about our propensity to put off what we might do until another time. Unfortunately too many of the “might do’s’ become “never do’s” and as we realize what we missed we are left only with regrets. Please read what she sent me and let it sink in. Now is a good time to think about what you really would like to do and then make it a priority. Life can be pretty good if you keep up with it and pretty sad if you let it pass you by.


Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched ‘Jeopardy’ on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can’t. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It’s Monday." …She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We’ll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I’m going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my ‘seize the moment’ friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

Now…go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to……not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We’ll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift….Thrown away… Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.


“The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow,

but the rainbow won’t wait while you do the work.”


A guy was down on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each." Amazed at the great value, he said to the waitress, "$5 each for lobster tails … is that correct?"

"Yes", she said, "It’s our special just for today."

"Well", he said, "they must be little lobster tails."

"No," she replied, "It’s the really big lobster."

Are you sure they aren’t green lobster tails – and a little bit tough?"

"No", she said, "it’s the really big red lobster."

"Big red lobster tails, $5 each?", he said, amazed. "They must be old lobster tails!"

"No, they’re definitely today’s."

"Today’s big red lobster tails – $5 each?", he repeated, astounded.

"Yes", she insisted.

"Well, here’s my five dollars," he said, "I’ll take one.

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned over close to him and said, "Once upon a time there was a really big red lobster …"


A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."


Early in the semester, a student stops by during the professor’s office hours. He bids her enter. She glances up and down the hall, steps in, closes the door and says, "I would do anything to pass this class." She steps closer to his desk, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean," she whispers, "I would do…anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything," she replies.

The professor’s voice drops to a whisper and he says, "Would you…study?"


"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."

Tom Lehrer


Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said.

"Of course, Tim," his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry Lawrence."

"But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said.

With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!"


Photographer: The best shots are attempted through the lens cap.


She said, I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?"

"No, I don’t waste time shopping. I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?"

"Are you nuts?! I haven’t had my hair done in twenty years!"

"Well, I am not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

"That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after twenty years without shopping, hair appointments and wine."


“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

W. M. Lewis


NOTE: Since Monday is a holiday there will be no Daily published, I’m giving the computer the day off.


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Lord give us wisdom, we sure could use some.

"Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels;

it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled."

Michael Crichton





Today I am suffering from an old familiar malady, spring fever and it isn’t even spring (yawn). Nothing physically wrong, I am just extraordinarily lazy today so rather than sloooowley writing the Daily and sending it sometime tonight I am expediting the process. You guessed it another Ray from out of the past day. When I read this one I realized not much has changed in the last six years.


Ray’s Daily first published September 2, 2004


I am having difficulty dealing with today’s political rhetoric. It seems to me that Vannevar Bush was on target when he said “A belief may be larger than a fact.”

Our politicians keep telling us that the American People want this, the American People want that, and that the American People believe this or that. I am not sure I have ever met any of these American People for they would have to be both for tax cuts and higher taxes, for both right-to-life and choice, for free trade and protectionism, you know the rest of it, we hear it everyday. It seems like too many politicians believe that if they say it often enough it will be true, no matter what the facts, they even seem to start believing it themselves. Sadly it seems that how messages are presented and how often they are repeated does make a difference, no matter if they are true or not. It also seems that too many of my fellow citizens are committed to their current beliefs no matter what the facts may be. When you ask a specific, or an in depth question, way too many will say “I just know, that’s all,” or will repeat something they heard said over and over that justifies why they think the way they do.

If you have been following what is going on this election season you might find the game interesting. It seems the real players are the spin doctors, image consultants, and campaign strategists. It would be an insult to believe that our country would make critical choices on the basis of who had the best advertising or the slickest message; it would be an insult if it was not the way things seem to be going.

Too many of us seem to want to be left alone and not bothered with having to get the facts. Maybe those of us that can ignore reality are the illusive American People that the politicians report are for everything and against everything. Alice seems to have left Wonderland and is working the magic on us, or maybe Orwell’s characters have sprung to life.


Everyone wishes to have truth on his side, but not everyone wishes to be on the side of truth.

Richard Whately


A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That’s fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren’t you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.

"You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.


Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso


She wrote:

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people . . .


Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.


The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills!!

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?"

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep at night!"

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee.

"Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks…

And believe me…….it helps me sleep at night!!!"


We have enough people who tell it like it is; now we could use a few who can tell it like it can be.


A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready.

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.

When a third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor."


I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.


Lil’ Johnny’s mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank.  They were in line behind a rather obese lady.  As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she’s really fat."

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile.  Lil’ Johnny received a reprimand.

After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is ‘that’ wide."

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.

Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady’s pager begins to go off. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life, she’s backing up"


Don’t be so humble, you’re not that great.

Golda Meir


A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.


Pray for a good harvest, but keep on plowing.

Nancy Otto


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Pereverance Pays!

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.

Henry Ward Beecher




A friend of mine owns a video production company and he like so many others has seen his business suffer due to the severe economic problems that exist today. The companies that normally would buy his services are strapped for cash as their sales have plummeted. I know others who are caught in the same bind, they have the products but they lack buyers. Unfortunately many spend their time bemoaning their plight, tightening their belts and waiting for things to change, some even just give up. Fortunately my friend is not one of those.

In the years I have known him I have been impressed with his creative ability to reinvent himself and his offerings. He continuously displays objectivity, optimism, flexibility and perseverance. While far too many either give up, accepting what they believe is their fate or putting more time, money and energy into an unrealistic effort to save the unsalvageable.

In my friends case he first sold his skills to others when they needed his expertise, he did this as an independent contractor providing him income and an ever expanding network of prospects and clients. He did not stop there, he partnered with others who had technical and communication skills that complimented his own and they now provide a full line of services at a modest cost that will help small companies succeed in today’s competitive environment.

My friend is one of my heroes; he has demonstrated that the combination of will and a positive attitude can make what may appear to be impossible barriers just detours that often result in reaching an even better destination.

Our old friend Ralph Marston wrote a piece not too long ago that has some of the elements that I am sure contributed to my friend’s success – realism and tenacity. Here is what he wrote:


There are many things you can change, and there are many things you simply cannot change. Both kinds of things can add value to your life.

With the things you can change, you have the opportunity to improve the circumstances in your own life and in the world around you. In dealing with the things you cannot change, you can grow stronger and develop real wisdom, patience, acceptance, and flexibility.

There is much you can learn from the things you cannot change. You can use that knowledge and experience to positively affect those things you can change.

The things you cannot change give you a base from which to work. The things you can change give you an ever-increasing world of possibilities.

By gently accepting what you cannot change and finding positive ways to deal with it, you lay the groundwork for success. By understanding what you can change and finding positive ways to put that change to work, success and achievement begin to happen.

What a blessing it is to live in a world where there are both things you can change and things you cannot. Each turn of events, in its own way, gives you the opportunity for adding richness to life.


When the world says, "Give up,"

Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."


Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers.  The reason?  A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers.  When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.  I’ve had mine for twenty years," she pleaded.  "Couldn’t you change yours?"

The company refused.

So Mom said, "Fine.  From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that the bill is paid in full."

The company got a new number the next day.


"I’m just a poor preacher."

"I know. I’ve heard your sermons."


A college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers . . . "

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the senior said, "You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young. So we invented them!"


The argument you just won with your spouse isn’t over yet


On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.  Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

"I’m sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."


Boy is this true!!! The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do.


Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it.  This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.  I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside.  I had to break a window to get my keys.

Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.  Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.  When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.  Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.  The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And Mister, I TOLD HER!"


Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.


A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the hostess, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale."

"I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," the hostess replied.

"Normally, yes," the lady said. "But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."


It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

James Thurber


In the presence of a client he wished to impress, a high-powered executive flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Jones, get my broker!"

The visitor was duly impressed until the secretary’s voice floated back into the room, loud and clear and said, "Yes, sir. Stock or pawn?"


“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. ”

Dr. Seuss


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


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