Ray's musings and humor

Do you know who you are?

“Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.”

Og Mandino




Have you ever thought about how you and others define you? If someone asked who you are, what would you say? Would it be your occupation? Something like, I am an accountant or would it be something else? I might say that I have been around for a long time and keep enjoying living my life, that in a way defines me more accurately than telling them what I use to do for a living or anything else too specific. My self-definition provides me a wide enough umbrella that all the other things I am can exist under it.

My concern with this is the fact that I meet so many people who define themselves so rigidly by what they think they are or what others tell them they are that they lock themselves in a cave limited to always being what they have always been. Many of these folks struggle as the world changes around them, they only move when they are forced to react. I am afraid they are so bound by their own convention that they will never find all that exists for the taking if they just break out of their shell.

What brings me joy is watching people throw off their bindings as they realize that living is a process filled with ever changing opportunity. We do not have to let the world define us, rather we can adapt to whatever it offers and make the decisions that allow us not only to survive but also to thrive.

I had the good fortune over the last few days to spend time with three different people who not only understand that they can break out from the unsatisfactory lives they had led but who also have demonstrated that they can do more, see more and enjoy more that they ever thought possible. All three reported that they now were excited by the landscape ahead and no longer believed that they would ever again be trapped in a life that was filled only with mundane regimen and forced reaction to external events. Three different people on three different days shared their new selves and it was infectious.

What about you? Who are you really? Are you what you will always be and is that OK or is it time to enrich your life by building a new you?


“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.”

Denis Waitley


Odd Signs From England

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.


Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.

Norman Vincent Peale


A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says, "Hey, you’re a duck."

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight," observes the duck.

"Yeah, but I mean — you can TALK," says the barman.

"Guess your ears are fine, too," answers the duck. "Now, can I have a beer, please."

The barman serves the duck a pint and asks him, "So, what brings a duck like you to these parts?"

"Oh," says the duck, "I’m working on the building site across the road. We’ll be here for a couple of weeks, and I’ll most likely be in every lunch hour for a pint." The duck slurps down his beer, wiggling his tail happily. Just as he said, the duck waddles over from his job at the building site every day and has his lunch-time lager.

The next week, the circus comes to town on its annual rounds. The Circus owner wanders in for a pint and the barman tells him about the talking duck. "You should get this duck to join your circus," he says. "For a little consideration, I could hook you up with this duck, and you could make lots of bucks. Everyone would love to see a talking duck, I think. Don’t you?" The circus man nods his agreement excitedly while sipping his beer, and the barman agrees to talk to the duck about the circus.

The following day, the duck comes in as usual for his pint. The barman says to the duck (with dollar signs in his eyes), "You know, the circus is in town, and yesterday I was chatting to the owner about you. He’s very interested in you."

"Really?" says the duck.

"Yeah. You could make a lot of money there. I can fix it up for you easily."

"Hang on," said the duck. "You did say a CIRCUS, didn’t you?"

"That’s right."

"You’re talking a big tent, right?


"That’s canvas, isn’t it?" said the duck.

"Of course," replied the barman, "I can get you a job there starting tomorrow. The circus owner’s dead keen on the idea."

The duck looked very puzzled, "What does he want with a plasterer?"


She said:

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift to women?

Exchange him.


A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class, closely observe the worms," said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, "Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms."


By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!


A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost. After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, the spotted a woman at the end of a corridor.

"How do I get outside?" he asked.

"Dial 9," she replied.


Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.


The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.  He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the auditor scrutinized their every detail.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

"Why would you say that?" wondered the broker.

"Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."


We imagine that we want to escape our selfish and commonplace existence, but we cling desperately to our chains.

Anne Sullivan Macy


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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