Ray's musings and humor

Try a new road

"Throughout the centuries there were those who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision."

Ayn Rand

 

 

 

I think today I’ll share some more from the list of life‘s lessons that a friend sent me a few years ago.

The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."It has been proven time and again getting what you want almost always results in wanting more or something else. Far too often we find that when we got to the other side we found that the grass was greener where we were, the problem was that we never took the time to appreciate what we had.

The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.Of course this is obvious but I often put solving the problem off too long. Problems linger when we procrastinate. It is always better to do it now so you can move on

We often fear the thing we want the most. – I know one thing if we don’t try because of our fear we will never get what we want.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say!There are those I know who can see what is going on without me telling them, in fact some see things I can’t see myself, I am fortunate that they care that much.

Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints. – I don’t want to ignore others complaints but it does no good for me to carry mine on to tomorrow, I have too many things to do to waste time complaining.

Look for opportunities…. Not guarantees. – Don’t play it so safe that you never venture out to where action, adventure and reward exists.

Life is what’s coming…. Not what was. – While I do enjoy my memories I enjoy building new ones even more.

~~~

Why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is.

Will Rogers

~~~

"Twas the night before school started,

When all through the town,

The parents were cheering,

It was a riotous sound.

 

By eight p.m. the kids were washed,

And snugly tucked into bed,

When memories of homework

Filled them with dread.

 

New pencils, new folders,

New notebooks too,

New teachers, new friends,

Their anxiety grew.

 

The parents recited comforting words

To ease their children’s fright,

Then calmly instructed the tiny tots,

"Get back to bed now, it’s a school night!"

~~~

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

Tom Clancy

~~~

Little Johnny came into the house with a new harmonica.

"Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?"

"Of course not, Johnny. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life."

"What happened?" "Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit out house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely."

"How about you?"

"Me? I accompanied her on the piano!"

~~~

"Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter."

Samuel J. Hurwitt

~~~

She said: Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In midlife women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of the mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don’t bounce back. It’s more like splat!

Midlife is when you realize that, if you were a dog, you would need a control top flea collar.

Midlife brings the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.

~~~

"It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies.

"Tch, Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin’, sir."

"Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"

The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the 6th today, sir!"

~~~

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

~~~

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons.

When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced…

"It’s a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!"

~~~

Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations win and preserve the heart.

Humphrey Davy

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: