Ray's musings and humor

Unfortunately Ray’s illness lingers and so he will not be doing the Daily again today. It’s probably just as well as he has been pretty miserable. He is off to the doctor again early this morning.

He again is letting me send you a reprint from five years ago. I am sure Ray will be on the road to recovery soon; let’s hope he is back tomorrow.

Let’s get our hands dirty once in awhile.

Ray’s Computer


Ray’s Daily

July 28, 2005


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.



I am sure you have run into people who would like more out of life than they get now. I know I see many friends who have retired and wish for more than the idle life, I meet others who feel they are in a rut at work, and still others that just want to make their lives more meaningful. It seems like we see the same people, do the same things as each day turns into weeks, and as the weeks turn into months, soon we find that major portion of our lives have passed by without leaving us with much to show.

I often wonder what this time of my life might have been if I had not joined my Kiwanis Service Club almost 30 years ago. As a member I have made many new friends, learned more about what is going on in my community, and had hundreds of opportunities to do some good for others. If you live in Indianapolis come join me at my Kiwanis meeting some Thursday morning and see for yourself. So many people want to do something more, something for themselves, something for their communities, and something for others, but just don’t find a way to do it. Trust me there are a wide variety of volunteer roles everywhere and you can help.

Over the years I have had the good fortune to serve with others on government and community organization committees and boards. We were selected because we brought expertise, skill, and/or had a passionate dedication to the organization. While these appointments had prestige attached, we often ended up doing many of the same things we did in our jobs. Most of the time we did some good, but we also missed a lot, we missed getting out there and doing something with our hands and with our hearts.

These days I avoid taking board positions or leadership roles so I can spend more time getting my hands dirty. Now I eagerly search for opportunities to work with others at community events, fund-raisers, and the like. For example I will be taking tickets this Saturday at a festival that will benefit a performing arts organization, in a few weeks I will do three shifts as a short order cook at a major horse show raising money for an annual clothe-a-child project, and later in the month I will be working in a booth in our state fairs senior center promoting volunteerism.

Why do I tell you about this, it is because I love the people I now get to work with, people with no vested interests, people not looking for glory, just caring people that I would never meet in any other way. Most of us never get to work as a ticket taker, cook, or in any of the jobs that only require commitment and a good heart. There really is something everyone can do. Some may think these jobs are beneath them or are demeaning; nothing is further from the truth. How often do you get to take satisfaction knowing you did your best, made a difference, and did it because you cared?

So come out and join us, meet our concerned fellow citizens. Work with a young student, meet the mailman who delivers our mail, have some fun with the neighbor from up the street, join the company executive, the housewife, a retiree as we team up for something worthwhile. In other words come out and join we the people, you will have some fun, do some good, and be glad you did.


Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to live, make haste to be kind.

Henri Frederick Amiel


Alternate Uses for Duct Tape

Hate finding your mailbox clogged with junk mail, advertising circulars and bills? Duct tape your mailbox shut.

Obliterate that blinking "12:00" on your VCR once and for all with a single strip of duct tape.

Gals – duct tape keeps the toilet seat down

Guys – duct tape keeps the toilet seat up

Wrap sticky-side out around your hand to pick up fuzz, lint and pet hair from clothing and furniture also picks up small pets from clothing and furniture.

Replace winter boots with socks wrapped in several layers of duct tape.

Duct tape hand held games to your car’s steering wheel for amusement during afternoon traffic jams. Also great on trips.

High chair falling apart after the third kid? Duct tape will make it last for three or four more.

Make a fashion statement: Patch old blue jeans with duct tape.

Broken wooden serving spoons? Repair with duct tape, instant mock-silver service.

Tired of refrigerator magnets tumbling to the floor each time you reach for a cold drink? Duct tape will hold the kids’ artwork until they graduate.


Manager: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary."

Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing."


"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint"

Mark Twain



You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.

That’s not smoke, that’s steam.

Of course it’s sterile.

It was fresh last week.

These are the safe kind of mushrooms.

It should be O.K to swim in.

Clip the red wire first.

It’s supposed to make that noise.

It doesn’t look like the bridge is out.

They only attack when they are hungry.

The boss won’t mind.

Let’s ask those soldiers for directions.

I’m sure I turned my lights off.

I bet I can fit in there.

What can possible go wrong?


If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.


Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.

The second blonde replies, won’t affect me.  I always buy exactly $10 worth.


"A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip."

Caskie Stinnett


Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.


I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Etienne de Grellet


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


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