Ray's musings and humor

He’ll be back

Ray is still spending most of his time in bed trying to recover. He is better but not better enough to do the Daily. I am confident that he’ll be back tomorrow, he has to get up and dressed to go see the Doc this morning.

 

At least today he gave me the key to the archives so I am going to send you one of the past Daily’s. I hope all of you have a fine day.

Ray’s Computer

 

Ray’s Daily

Won’t you go the other way with me?

Tuesday

July 27, 2004

 

Many of us follow in the foot step of others, while others of us follow the path less traveled. They are the ones that break the new ground, and whose lives are often filled with adventure and rewards. Each of our lives is filled with opportunity after opportunity to take the road less traveled.

We get to choose if we are going to do the same thing day after day, month after month, year after year as we follow either in the footsteps of others or on the path we have always traveled. While there may be no risk or challenge, I can almost guarantee there will be little discovery or new found pleasure. It is as Robert Frost said when he wrote:

 

        The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long as I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth,

Then took the other as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim;

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubted

if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~~~

I know many of you are busy and have full e-mail boxes, if our daily please feel free to unsubscribe. To do so please follow these simple instructions:

We hate to lose loyal subscribers like yourself, but if you feel you must unsubscribe, first, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit, which is provided free of charge.  Make sure to tell us the make and model of your computer, as well as the operating system and amount of memory and hard disk space that you have free.  Then use these easy-to-follow directions:

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  To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you.  On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally.  The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button.  The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.

  If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.  After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and repeat the cycle. When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch. Please close the door behind you.

Congratulations! You have just successfully unsubscribed yourself, we are going to miss you! If you feel you have unsubscribed yourself in error, just follow the above instructions backwards, and you will once again be a part of our friendly daily family. No questions asked. Have a nice day now!

~~~

True bravery is, arriving home after a night on the town and being assaulted, by your wife, with a broom, and still having the guts to ask "Are you still cleaning or are you going somewhere ?"

~~~

A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing.

"Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer.

"He’s short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman.  "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was."

~~~

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

Two very reform Jews from the big city were traveling in Florida where on Shabbos they found an orthodox shul in a small town where they could attend services.

The shul Rebbe, seeing strangers at the entrance, greeted the two strangers and asked where they would like to sit.

Looking somewhat confused, one out-of-towner smiled and said, "Non-smoking please."

~~~

The future is not what it used to be.

~~~

She said: As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I was wearing contemporary clothes instead of my habit, I drove into a gas station to get the communal car filled up.

After the young attendant topped off the tank, he walked toward my car window to return my credit card.  It was clear from his furrowed brow that he had something on his mind.  The young man looked at me shyly and pointed to the convent’s name, John XXIII Hall, imprinted on the card.

"Pardon me," he asked hesitantly, "but how do you pronounce your husband’s middle name?"

~~~

A young minister, sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers.

"I don’t know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we’ve blessed all this stuff before."

~~~

The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.

~~~

"I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday," said Doug to Bill, "reading the newspaper, watching a ball game on TV and listening to another on the radio, drinking a beer, eating a snack, and scratching the dog with my foot — and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there doing nothing !"

~~~

Happiness comes when we stop wailing about the troubles we have, and offer thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.

Author unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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