Ray's musings and humor

Be Wise

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.

(From the character Atticus Finch)

 Harper Lee

 

 

 

I thought today I would again pull some statements from another “Life lessons” list someone sent me to see what they mean to me. So rather then just reading them and thinking about what they convey to me I thought I would again share my thoughts with you. So here goes.

 

“A few simple truths”

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! – What I appreciate most are friends who care enough to tell you the truth even if you don’t want to hear it. When folks only tell you what you want to hear you miss one of the best opportunities to find out what you might want to change. It may cause pain for a moment but as they say “if your best friend won’t tell you, who will?”

Now is the most interesting time of all. – You know why? For me it is because this is the moment I can make a choice, I can make things better or worse depending on what I do. Today will be another day filled with mystery, wonder and opportunity. Rather than just drifting through the day going with the flow, I get to decide if I want to continue to ride the wave or step off for a bit, possibly even to do something silly or frivolous. Today will only be uninteresting if I ignore the moments and just coast along.

When things go wrong…. Don’t go with them. – Boy isn’t this the truth! Too many of us ride the sinking ship down waiting for someone to rescue us, someone who never comes.

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. – If we all just jump on the bandwagon or get behind the parade we really don’t need to think anymore. In life most of the truly great things have been done by people who marched to a different drummer. It is OK to buy into conventional wisdom but only if you have thought it through versus blindly accepting what are often conclusions that are waiting for a truth teller to stand up and holler “WAIT” your going the wrong way.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to. – I have found in my life that anger takes me to places I don’t want to go. If we cannot reason together and instead pull out our guns and start shooting at each other we only makes things worse. I can agree that you have the right to think what you want, but I don’t have to stay and listen to your tirade.

~~~

I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

A Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key two octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

~~~

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

~~~

A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing. The pastor was highly gratified and told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it’s a matter of choice. I’d rather hear your sermon than hers."

~~~

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Announcement: the mental-disease-of-the-month club is being disbanded immediately. The reasons being:

1. During dipsomania month, the club party spent 10 times its budget on refreshments.

2. During kleptomania month, all of the club furnishings were removed, and (as aforementioned) the budget was already spent and gone.

3. During megalomania month, the club organization broke down due to having sixteen claimants to being Club President, etc.

4. During multiple personality month, our club roster roughly tripled in size with no increase in dues.

5.During paranoia month, the inflated roster dropped to zero as each member changed his or her mailing address and left no forwarding address for the club.

You members were obviously out to ruin us; it’s all clear now. It took all our remaining personal savings to track you all down. Therefore, here is your last installment: clinical depression. Have a nice day."

~~~

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny forks and spoons, so I wondered what Chinese mothers use.   Toothpicks?

~~~

A young couple met with their Rabbi to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the synagogue. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the shul, his best man rushed him up the aisle and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants," whispered the Rabbi.

"Uh, Rebbe, I’ve changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."

~~~

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

Sandra Carey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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