Ray's musings and humor

Ah, Sweet Liberty

“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”

Benjamin Franklin

 

 

 

I am a little rushed today and have lost my creative muse so I looked back to see what I had published on past Fourth of July weekends. I found this six year old Daily that I feel is worth resending.

 

Sunday & Monday

July 4 and 5, 2004

 

I know that today is an important holiday for those of us who live in the United States. For the rest of our readers Monday will be normal workday, so here is a daily for the non-US readers as well as for those of us in the US.

We celebrate that our Declaration of Independence was signed and published on this day in 1776. The Declaration laid the foundation for what has now become the United States. It stated in part that:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” These words have served us well ever since that day so may years ago. Unfortunately from time to time we start to drift away from these basic principles, we start to behave as if some men are created equal, not all men. We behave as if those who have the most are the chosen and these basic truths do not apply to everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of the good things that has been done by many in each of our home nations. I especially have great regard for friends that are making huge personal sacrifices in an effort help provide the foundation for a better lives for others. Unfortunately I sometimes think that too many of us withhold our support for these principles until we have personally made sure we are more equal, have more of everything than we really need, and because we believe the protection of the rights of others is the responsibility of someone else. Some of us do what we can as long as it does not require any sacrifice on our part.

It was not the words of the Declaration that laid the foundation for liberty and justice; it was the commitment of the people and their willingness to sacrifice. Each of us has the ability to make our own investments in the principles of the Declaration; all it takes is our willingness to do so.

~~~

I am truly free only when all human beings, men and women, are equally free. The freedom of other men, far from negating or limiting my freedom, is, on the contrary, its necessary premise and confirmation.

Mikhail Bakunin

~~~

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

~~~

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."

There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room.

Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"

~~~

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your rear end will get soaking wet.

~~~

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward."

~~~

Parents are like shuttles on a loom. They join the threads of the past with threads of the future and leave their own bright patterns as they go.

Fred Rogers

~~~

She told me: Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it’s prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it’d roll around like a BB on a six lane highway" Or, "Bless her heart, she’s so buck-toothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it’s amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."

As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can’t be all that bad. I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her friend…"A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss"

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I’ve even gotten past their endless complaints that you can’t find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don’t like cornbread! We’ve already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don’t. And I’ve caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is right funny indeed.

I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it’s hilarious when I say I’ve got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light.  She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin’" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don’t even know where "over yonder" is or what "I reckon" means! My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home."

~~~

"My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside."

Roseanne Barr

~~~

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.

"How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn’t you be a bit scared?"

"Nah," one boy answered, "I’d just figure it was my sister’s date."

~~~

"A man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth."

Charles Darwin

~~~

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

~~~

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal well-meaning but without understanding.

Louis D. Brandeis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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