Ray's musings and humor

Who was tha masked man?

“The impossible – what nobody can do until somebody does”




I have good news and bad news. I was able to pick up the flash drive from Natasha yesterday afternoon as planned. I was instructed to wait until after 10 PM last evening to insert it and to make sure no one else saw what it said. When I put it in the system it ran a short program, downloaded additional graphics and then after displaying for a few minutes destroyed itself after instructing me to memorize the contents. I do remember that it included a pretty detailed account of my assignment over the next two weeks.

The bad news is that they expected me to read fast and memorize too much. So now all I remember is where I will be picked up early in the morning. I am not sure if I am supposed to clean up the oil spill, mediate a peace settlement in the Middle East, neutralize the Taliban in Afghanistan, go to Washington and resolve the legislative impasse or something else.

I wish I could remember so I knew what clothes to pack. I am hoping that if I have the wrong stuff I’ll be able to have something sent from home.

In the meantime I hope that you will forgive, point no fingers, resolve rather than just dissolve, tolerate rather than berate, stay happy, smile a lot and be kind to our feathered friends and to people too. Stay well and if you must misbehave please don’t hurt anyone. If you get bored and have nothing better to do you can always find a huge batch of Ray’s Dailies at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal.

As I promised I’ll fill you in on the details of my adventure when I return. While I am gone please slow down, practice kindness and enjoy my absence. If you need some things-to-do suggestions here are a few you might enjoy:


Enjoy your meals. Don’t just eat. Taste it and appreciate its richness.

Feel the music, don’t just listen to it.

Sing. If you sing like I do, do it where you can’t be heard.

Gather with old friends. New friends are good too.

Take a walk in the park.

Read a novel.

Find and watch a light hearted movie.

Give yourself a lazy day.

See beautiful pictures.

Exercise with friends.

Play with kids.

Have a cup of coffee.

Go to a museum.

Go to a theater.

Watch the sunrise and the sunset.

Plant some vegatables.

Make a new friend.

Be graceous to all.


Take a nap.


Come to think of it, I should have done more of these before I left, oh well I’ll do tham when I get back. See you soon.


It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

Walt Disney


Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the job centre he was offered work at the local Zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Martin was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.

"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.

"I can’t believe it" said Martin "I just opened the door and then…..Whooooosh!"


Happiness is too easy to lose – next time I find some, I’m going to hide it.


In a high school science quiz, there was the question, "When water becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

Everyone answered, "Its volume increases."  Except one wise guy who wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price increases."


It’s no use having a good memory unless you have something good to remember.


The top ten reasons men should join the church choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

 9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

 8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who’s Praying, Who’s Sleeping?"

 7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

 6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you’ve been singing with us for a few weeks.

 5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

 4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it’s soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it’s a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

 3. If you think you’ve done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

 2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. (Don’t worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)

 And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

 1. When people ask you whether you’ve been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I’m a Choir Boy."


A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am."


Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!"


A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".


To pass the time while our plane was being refueled, the flight attendants played a trivia game with the passengers.  They asked us to guess the total number of years the three of them had worked for the airlines.

After an attendant collected our estimates, we heard the announcement: "The correct answer is 26 years.  For the two people who came closest with 28 years, we have prizes.  And for the passenger in seat 12F who guessed 85 years, would you please step off the plane once we are airborne?"


Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.

Henry Van Dyke


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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