Ray's musings and humor

“We all dream a lot – some are lucky, some are not.

But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it’s real. You are what you feel.”

Tim Rice

 

 

 

I can’t stop and talk right now I am off to the hospital to let them see if they can find anything in my head, it will be a day or two before I get the results. If I am done in time I also will be going to a meeting so let me send you what we wrote five years ago today.

~~~

May 26, 2005

Practice builds skill. I’ve heard golfers and tennis players say,

"The harder I practice, the luckier my game gets."

Author: Marsha Sinetar

~~~

This is all well and good but let me tell you it does not apply to gambling. I practice when I can. Here are the results of my Tuesday at the casino:

1.       I am ahead.

2.       I am even

3.       I am behind

4.       I am broke

5.       I canceled the Tahiti reservation.

~~~

Have you noticed that other people have the luck while think we don’t? If the truth be told we all can be lucky if we are ready for it, recognize it, and accept it.

I consider myself truly lucky for being allowed to do the things I have done, met so many good people along the way, being part of a great family, and living in a world that offers me so much to see and learn. I also think I am fortunate that I don’t have a lot of expensive material goods to worry about.

Brian Tracy had it right when he said. “I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.”

~~~

All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck – who keeps right on going – is the man who is there when the good luck comes – and is ready to receive it.

Robert Collier

~~~

Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn’t impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought his true love a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn’t having any of it. "Don’t you think I like variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought his true love two eggs – one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love… enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You scrambled the wrong egg!"

~~~

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

Bill Vaughan

~~~

"How come you’re late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. "It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course. "What did you do?" asked the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

~~~

The American reading his Sunday paper in a state of lazy collapse is perhaps the most perfect symbol of the triumph of quantity over quality…. Whole forests are being ground into pulp daily to minister to our triviality.

Irving Babbitt

~~~

A couple’s happily married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in their household of old Aunt Emma.

For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding.

Eventually, the old girl passed away.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confesses to his wife,

"Darling, if I didn’t love you so much , I don’t think I would of have put up with having your Aunt Emma in our house all those years!"

His wife looked at him aghast.

"Huh? My Aunt Emma!?" she cried.  "I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!"

~~~

Fancy Restaurant  — One that serves cold soup on purpose.

~~~

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.  

She rolled the dice and she landed on ‘Science & Nature.’ Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"  

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"  

~~~

"I’ll believe in reincarnation in my next life."

~~~

A priest was preparing a dying man for his ‘long day’s journey into night’. Whispering firmly, the priest says, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil."

The dying man says nothing.

The priest repeats his order again.

Still, the dying man says nothing.

The priest asks, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man replies, "Until I know exactly where I’m headed, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to aggravate anybody."

~~~

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

~~~

Bryant, a youngster about four years old, loved having ice cream after dinner every evening. He would sit on his mother’s lap and have a small bowl for dessert.

Unfortunately, he developed the habit of licking the bowl afterwards to "make sure he got it all".

This went on for a while, much to his mother’s chagrin. Finally, trying to tactfully hint that it was not such a great idea, she said, "You know, when I was your age, my mother said that licking my dish was a VERY impolite thing to do."

Bryant thought a minute, and then responded, "Well you can do it now if you like, because I don’t mind at ALL!"

~~~

Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

~~~

After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so that we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn carrying a plate full of muffins. 

"Isn’t that thoughtful," my husband said to me.  "They must have realized that we packed our kitchen stuff."

The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, "Welcome to the neighborhood!"

~~~

Fashion your life as a garland of beautiful deeds.

Buddha

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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