Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2010

Let’s Play Today

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. 

Danny Kaye

 

 

 

Here we go another weekend and I hope you really enjoy it. What concerns me often are the folks who have given up on life and have lost their ability to enjoy the precious days ahead. What is especially sad is that it almost never has to be that way. As I was thinking about what people might do I did a search and came across the following advice. Not bad for being the collective wisdom of a few Wiki followers.

  1. Learn to be positive! If you keep moaning about your life, other people will only notice the bad aspects of your character and categorize you as a person who is ‘Boring’ – or worse! Who wants to spend time with a wet blanket! Go to places where people are positive and support you with positive thoughts.
  2. Be generous. A little generosity goes a long way. Give and people return the favor to you and you will be known as a generous person.
  3. Make a list of all the things you want to do and do them! If you’ve always wanted to audition for theater, then go ahead and do it! This will help to reduce ‘hanging around’ and wishing.
  4. Keep trying. One of the key things that you need to remember is to never be discouraged; failure is a part of life, and it happens naturally. If you are so disillusioned that you never want to try again, at least be comforted by the fact that you made an attempt.
  5. Stop doing things that you do not enjoy. Make a list of the things that you are doing that you don’t enjoy, and try to stop doing them. Naturally, this shouldn’t mean that you should drop out of school if you don’t like studying, but you might consider working for a new company if you are constantly stressed and pressured by your job. If it’s not possible to stop, try to see the positive side of those things and find ways to make them entertaining.
  6. Find a hobby. You might take up collecting stamps or coins, or you might learn more about photography or art. You don’t have to spend your entire life doing it; the whole purpose of the hobby is to vary your routine and do something worthwhile.
  7. Singing is a wonderful way to make life more enjoyable. Try to pick up some of your favorite songs and learn the lyrics by heart. When you feel bored, sing those songs and you would feel much better. Singing karaoke, taking some singing lessons or listening to music would make your life more interesting.
  8. Limit the amount of time you spend watching TV. Enjoyment in life comes from trying and doing things yourself, not watching other people do them. Watching people swim is not the same as swimming.
  9. Ask questions. It’s not bad to ask questions. Ask as many as you can no matter what people say or the relevance of them. Don’t doubt yourself because there’s a good chance somebody else is wondering the same thing.
  10. Enjoy feeling proud. If you’re proud of something be it: an essay, a new deck you built, a promotion, or a song you composed hold on to it for dear life because there’s nothing more important than your pride. Do not let anybody take it by demanding more.
  11. Stay healthy. Make part of your life eating right and exercising because it helps keep the body running at the top of its game.
  12. Be open to change. Changes in your job, friends, and the government. With practice you will be able to anticipate it.
  13. List the items you want to keep. This will help you realize what you have and you are so lucky to have it.

As you know I think enjoyment is about 45% choice, 45% attitude, 8% environment and 2% everything else. To paraphrase a comment from an old friend “if you think you won’t enjoy life, you won’t.” So have fun this weekend and enjoy it all and by all means feel free to do something silly, I do silly things all the time and some people even believe I do it on purpose.

~~~

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

~~~

ANOTHER POEM FOR COMPUTER USERS OVER 50

 

A computer was something on TV

From a Science Fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the father of a goat.

 

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

And gig was a job for the nights

Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes.

 

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano.

A Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

And if you had a 3-in. floppy

You hoped nobody found out

 

Compress was something you did to the garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You’d be in jail for a while.

 

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode.

 

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider’s home

And a virus was the flu.

 

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head.

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash

But when it happens they wish they were dead

~~~

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Lady Nancy Astor

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: "Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… "Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother"

~~~

Love is blind and it’s not too bright, either.

~~~

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students.

My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf.

"What are all these books?" he asked.

Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. 

"Really?" he said.  Someone printed out the whole thing?"

Jeffrey Labonte

~~~

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told:  "I am with you kid.  Let’s go."

Maya Angelou

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ramblings

The world is before you, and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.

James Baldwin

~~~

 

 

 

I’m back after a busy and full day that was highlighted by a great Salvation Army volunteer appreciation dinner. As you have heard me say many times in the past I really feel the volunteers should be hosting an appreciation dinner for the organization, its members and its staff. The reason I feel that way is because the opportunities for service they provide to those of us who volunteer adds meaning to our lives that we would miss if the Salvation Army and other people serving organizations did not provide us opportunities to serve.

At the dinner my Kiwanis Club was honored for some of the things we have done to help, and while I am grateful that they appreciate my fellow members efforts I am not sure we deserve special recognition for doing the right thing. I personally have been more than rewarded by the friends that I have made while helping folks like you doing what they could for others. In this day and age it is great to be surrounded by good people who take action to help others instead of sitting on the sidelines complaining while shifting the responsibilities to help off to others. I just wish I had not spent so much of my lifetime doing things of less importance.

~~~

On a different subject I was disappointed in myself again recently when I learned that a respected friend’s talent has been recognized and that her and her family will be leaving Indianapolis to take on an important job in Washington. A mutual friend suggested we meet a few years ago and since that time we have met often to discuss life strategies and personal effectiveness. I have seen this smart attorney gain pose and confidence, watched as she demonstrated her ability to defuse problems and build coalitions beneficial to the citizens of our state. Recently we even spent time on what she might do in Washington and how she could contribute to the solution of some of our national problems.

It was not long after our last visit that she was called to Washington and offered her new position. My disappointment in myself surfaced when I found I was distressed by the news since we would no longer spend time together sharing philosophies and personal challenges. Shame on me! Thankfully I realized I should share in her happiness. So while we won’t meet over coffee any more we can still meet over the internet and I can take pleasure in her continued success.

~~~

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.

Thomas a Kempis

~~~

Overheard at the day care center, or was it the senior center.

Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,

Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section" A:  The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?’ A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

~~~

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.

Cullen Hightower

~~~

Esther had only recently got married and was having a chat with her best friend Becky.

Esther asks, "Tell me, Becky, I’ve forgotten the procedure. When one first gets married, how long should one wait before starting to point out to one’s husband what disgusting habits his friends have?"

~~~

Tonight’s Airline Menu

Scandinavian Airlines dinner:  Smoked salmon on hard doughnut-shaped rolls.

El Al dinner:  Lox on bagels.

~~~

"I’d like the number for Rachel Cohen in Brooklyn, New York." the young man said to the information operator.

"There are multiple listings for Rachel Cohen’s, in Brooklyn" the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"

The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me "Max."

~~~

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son."

"Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has nothing standing in his way."

~~~

The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate.

After the service a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t want you to leave!"

The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said "Now, now, Carolyn, don’t carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me".

"Yeah right", she said, "That’s what they said the LAST time too!!!"

~~~

"The model for the Gerber baby on the jars turns 77 years old today. He’s back to eating Gerber baby food."

Conan O’Brien

~~~

She said: At the data-entry company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup.

I didn’t realize how long I’d been until someone slid a note under the door.

"You win," it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot."

~~~

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.”

Emily Dickinson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I did it again!

“Love is not blind; it is an extra eye, which shows us what is most worthy of regard.”

James Matthew Barrie

 

 

 

The day has gotten a little away from me. In the process of going to a breakfast meeting with a friend to discuss some community needs I found I had a headlight missing, so after the meeting I went to the dealer to get a replacement which took a big chunk out of my day and resulted in my missing a Great Decisions lecture. On top of that I will attend a Salvation Army volunteer appreciation dinner.

To tell you the truth I am brain dead and in need of a nap, I got home late last evening after attending a musical and got up too early. Recently a number of you provided me council as it relates to my periodic failure to create. Some said to cut the Daily back to three days a week, others have said the reprints are great since we have added so many readers over the last few years as well as saying that the memory fades with age so everything old is new again. Cutting back is not an option since it would make it too easy to skip my daily time for us. So I am offering you today the Daily I wrote on this day following my 50th wedding anniversary seven years ago. Take care and I’ll be with you again tomorrow.

Ray

 

Ray’s Daily published April 14, 2003

 

My family held a 50th Anniversary celebration on Saturday night. Family and friends came from as far away as South Africa. Our children, our grand-children, brother and sister, and friends from long ago brought back fond memories. My kids (kids? They are all in their forties) produced a video that had photos of our whole lives. It was hard to watch and keep from becoming over emotional.

~~~

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal,

the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.

Louis K. Anspacher

~~~

Internet Axioms

1. Home is where you hang your @.

2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

5. Great groups from little icons grow.

6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

7. C: is the root of all directories.

8. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

10. The modem is the message.

11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.

12. The geek shall inherit the earth.

13. A chat has nine lives.

14. Don’t byte off more than you can view.

15. Fax is stranger than fiction.

16. What boots up must come down.

17. Windows will never cease.

18. Virtual reality is its own reward.

19. Modulation in all things.

20. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

21. There’s no place like home.com.

22. Know what to expect before you connect.

23. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

24. Speed thrills.

25. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks.

~~~

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.

~~~

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

"But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mom said it was irreplaceable."

~~~

Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking.

J.C. Watts

~~~

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I’d like to be romantic with a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He was 90.

~~~

A police lineup is the only place where a man hates to be introduced to his audience.

~~~

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.  The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…"After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

"Oh," she said, "I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was."

~~~

"MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"

~~~

Boy are these true:

No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.

If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee.

If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

The crying baby on board is always seated next to you.

The best-looking woman/man on your flight is never seated next to you.

The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

~~~

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do.

Think up something appropriate and do it.

Edgar Watson Howe.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Wonderful

I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.

Ruth Stout

 

 

 

Wow, the weather here has been great these last few weeks. In fact so far this is the warmest April on record. I am greeted as I drive through my city by a burst of vivid colors emanating from trees and bushes in bloom; it is as if I was surrounded by a rainbow. And beneath them all are spring flowers spreading a blanket of color framing the trees above. Somehow it takes the edge off of the troubles that surround us these days.

So my friends I am basking in the luxurious depths of spring fever, in fact I am putting all thinking aside today to let it all seep into my soul. I will rationalize deferring my obligations by understanding that I am recharging my batteries.

As my imagination wandered to a Renoir like world I decided to go back six years and see what this day was like in 2004 and what I found in the Daily could describe my day today. Here is what I found:

It is Spring, what we see is up to us.

Every moment is a miracle. Be still, look closely, and you can see it.

The simple, quiet moments, that are so commonplace you don’t easily remember them, are just as special as the glorious, unforgettable ones. Because those quiet, simple moments are the ones that shape who you are.

It’s easy to sense life’s many treasures in the rare moments of grandeur. Yet when you can also appreciate the value of the quiet, simple moments, then you’ve tapped into something truly magnificent.

The common moments matter because there are so many of them. When you live each one to the fullest, then life is full indeed.

The big, exciting moments give life its spice. The small, quiet ones provide the substance.

In every moment there is a special treasure. Give your best to them all.

Ralph Marston

~~~

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

ROGER SAYS IT WAS GOOD & IT WAS

Were you a kid in the Fifties or earlier? Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something’s shudder and say "Eeeew!" But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself:

In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million… Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better… And that was good.

The average annual salary was under $3,000… Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life… And that was good

A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents… But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one… And that was good.

Prime-Time meant I Love Lucy, Ozzie and Harriet, Gunsmoke and Lassie… So nobody ever heard of ratings or filters… And that was good.

We didn’t have air-conditioning… So the windows stayed up and half a dozen mothers ran outside when you fell off your bike… And that was good.

Your teacher was either Miss Matthews or Mrs. Logan or Mr. Adkins… But not Ms Becky or Mr. Dan… And that was good.

The only hazardous material you knew about… was a patch of grassburrs around the light pole at the corner. And that was good.

You loved to climb into a fresh bed… Because sheets were dried on the clothesline… And that was good.

People generally lived in the same hometown with their relatives.. So "child care" meant grandparents or aunts and uncles… And that was good.

Parents were respected and their rules were law…. Children did not talk back….. and that was good.

TV was in black-and-white… But all outdoors was in glorious color….And that was certainly good.

Your Dad knew how to adjust everybody’s carburetor.. And the Dad next door knew how to adjust all the TV knobs.. And that was very good.

Your grandma grew snap beans in the back yard… And chickens behind the garage… And that was definitely good.

And just when you were about to do something really bad. Chances were you’d run into your Dad’s high school coach… Or the nosy old lady from up the street… Or your little sister’s piano teacher… Or somebody from Church…. ALL of whom knew your parents’ phone number… And YOUR first name… And even THAT was good!

REMEMBER…

Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Sky King, Little Lulu comics, Brenda Starr, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk as well as the sound of a real mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled with bike rides, playing cowboy, playing hide and seek and kick-the-can and Simon Says, baseball games, amateur shows at the local theater before the Saturday matinee, bowling and visits to the pool…and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar, and wax lips and bubblegum cigars

Didn’t that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

And was it really that long ago?

~~~

"If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

~~~

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.

Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”

~~~

"It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like."

Jackie Mason

~~~

A group of W.Va. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

Where’s Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke! of some kind.

He’s a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!

~~~

"A woman’s dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view."

Sophia Loren

~~~

"It’s no use. Art doesn’t listen to me," said a little boy who was praying for a new bike.

"Art who?" asked the boy’s mother.

"Art in heaven," came the reply.

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, "I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex."

~~~

Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.

Georgia O’Keeffe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

When was your last highlight?

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

Jamie Paolinetti

 

 

Have you ever noticed that when some people share their life highlights with you they are reporting on things out of their more distant past with little or northing recent. I seem either to be listening more closely than I use to or far too many folks are not finding much joy these days. There may be a number of reasons; they may have given up on finding anything special in their life or possibly they have forgotten how to appreciate what they have. Unfortunately I even know some who seen not to ever want to be happy.

My biggest fear is that far too many of us are so bogged down looking back on what has been or might have been that they don’t let ourselves see what might be. Our life’s highlight film does not have to end now; it can be enriched and added to, only to be closed when we are at our end.

Maybe we should go back and review some of our past highlights and really understand what made them so good: was it friends, new experiences, family, society, what? If we know the elements of our past happiness we have a good chance of being able to set our sights on finding similar joy again. Sure time flies by and we change and the world changes but that does not mean that we can’t understand what we can reach for. I may not run as fast or jump as high, but I can still walk a long way, even feeling a similar shortness of breath, it may not be much but when I do it my day is a little better than it was the day before.

I know one thing I can never have enough friends, they enrich our lives more than anything else. But they are never going to find me if I have retreated into a shell. I also have a choice of living in my past memories of places I have been and things I have seen or listing the thousands of places that I haven’t visited and the millions of things I have yet to see. I know I can’t go everywhere or see everything but I can take a few off my list and see them. But I will not lie down and wait for the end missing all that is still there for me.

So my friends lets take the “en” off what has been and just keep the “be” and concentrate on our “what can be” list and then add new elements to our life’s highlights.

Our friend Ralph Marston suggests we jump out there do it, here is what he wrote recently that is on target .

Experience the Adventure

There is no reason to avoid the effort. Because once you get started, the effort will feel great.

There is no need to fear what might happen. Because whatever happens, you’ll be able to successfully deal with it.

You may be nice and comfortable where you are. By all means enjoy the moment you’re in, but don’t become so comfortable that you keep yourself stuck there.

Spreading out in all directions is a world full of possibilities. Get up, get out there, explore, achieve, fulfill, and experience.

Put your awareness, care and attention into this now moment.

Then step forward to experience the adventure of the next moment.

Feel again, right now, all the joy you’ve ever known. With profound gratitude and the highest of expectations, get yourself making even more joyful experiences.

~~~

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

IMPORTANCE OF PROOF READING

* IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."  

* It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.  

* There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.  

* There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.  

* In the City Beat section of Friday’s paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.  

* Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.  

* In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.  

* Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I’m sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."  

* In one edition of today’s Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley’s Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.  

* The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.  

~~~

You don’t know the pain of waiting in a slow checkout line until you’ve had a cashier with 2-inch long fake nails feebly attempting to change the roll of receipt paper.

~~~

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left.

Later, the wife’s roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine."

~~~

When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner

~~~

Have you seen this nifty little thing in the stores? It’s a small square wooden block. They call it the "Exercise Block." The directions say to set the block on the floor. Walk around it twice. Now sit down & rest.

Congratulations! You have just walked around the block twice! Who says exercise has to be exhausting?  Keep this up and you’ll be down 20 pounds by Christmas! Check with your doctor if you want to try this. Then head on over to your local Walgreen’s…that’s where I got mine. Now excuse me, while I go walk around the block.)

~~~

Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

Marilyn vos Savant

~~~

She said: I was in a department store dressing room when I overheard a woman in the next booth make disparaging remarks about the clothes she was trying on. Finally, an attendant knocked on her door and asked if there was a specific color or style she could get for her.

"I need a dress for my class reunion," the woman answered. "I don’t care what color or style, as long as it makes me look twenty pounds lighter and ten years younger."

From another dressing room, I heard a woman call out, "Make that two!"

~~~

"I’ve lived a long life and seen a lot of hard times… most of which never happened."

Mark Twain

~~~

A college student has been thrown out of his apartment for not paying his rent, so he sends an e-mail to his father.

"Please send money. I’m in the street."

The father replies, "Have no money. Watch out for cars."

~~~

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”

Flora Whittemore

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Where’s Ray?

I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.

Albert Schweitzer

 

 

 

I don’t know if Ray is off grieving about having to write a big income tax check including a penalty or if he is off preparing for Nancy and his fifty-seventh wedding anniversary which is this Sunday. To answer your question, yes he was old enough to get married when he did; his eighteenth birthday was a couple of months earlier. Anyway he is not here so I’m not waiting, I’m sending you an old Daily.

Ray’s Computer

Have a nice weekend.

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published April 9, 2007

The other day I did an outreach to some of my friends offering them a chance to volunteer some of their time to help the Salvation Army at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. The job entails four hour shifts helping to man an information booth at the speedway over the coming months as drivers practice, qualify, and then race. It got me to thinking again about the opportunity to do good works that are offered to us all.

Most of us provide community support via cash donations, participating in fund raising events, sponsoring walkers, buying Girl Scout cookies and the like. I think I have said it before but I would like to again make the case for what I call “Blue Collar” volunteerism; opportunities for service that only require our hands and our hearts. It may be spending an afternoon helping clean up a park, ringing bells for the Salvation Army at Christmas time, reading to kids, taking the disabled out for an afternoon or something else, the list of what we can do is endless.

In my case I’ll work three or four shifts for the Salvation Army during the Indy 500 practice periods. In May I will again help at the awards ceremony at our regional Special Olympics. This summer I will help operate a food booth where money is being raised to buy clothes for needy children. Of course I also will write a few checks, sponsor walkers for good causes, and do some of the easy stuff but none of these are as rewarding as my “Blue Collar” assignments since they are more fun and provide instant the results. Ill let you in on a secret; I especially relish meeting the people I get to work with. Shared service is the best friend finding activity I know of.

So my friends, trust me, get involved in a few “Blue Collar” service projects, I know you will be glad you did. If you live in Indy and want to join me in one of mine let me know. To you others, I am sorry you can’t join in the fun here but I know there is something for you where you live.

Note: Ray is recruiting for this year’s events, if interested let him know. Computer

~~~

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie

~~~

A little farmboy comes in late for school. The teacher asks why he’s late.

The farmboy replies, "I had to take the family cow over to the neighbour’s to get her bred by a bull."

Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can’t your father do that?"

Little farmboy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure… but the bull can do it better."

~~~

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

~~~

Comebacks to the age old question – "Why aren’t you married yet?"

·         I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.  

·         What? And spoil my great life?  

·         Because I just love hearing this question.  

·         It gives my mother something to live for.  

·         My fiance is awaiting parole.  

·         I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America.  

·         I’m waiting until I get to be your age.  

·         It didn’t seem worth a blood test.  

·         I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.  

·         I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.  

·         What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?  

·         I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.  

·         Why aren’t you thin?  

·         I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.  

~~~

Standing still is the fastest way of moving backwards in a rapidly changing world.

Lauren Becall

~~~

A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."

Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress, "Five dollars each for lobster tails. Is that correct"?

"Yes," she said. "It’s our special just for today."

"Well," he said, "They must be little lobster tails."

"No," she replied, "It’s the really big lobster."

"Big red lobster tails, $5 each"? he said, amazed. "They must be old lobster tails!"

"No, they’re definitely today’s."

"Today’s big red lobster tails, $5 each"? he repeated, astounded.

"Yes," she insisted.

"Well, here’s my five dollars," he said. "I’ll take one."

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned over close to him and said, "Once upon a time, there was a really big, red lobster…"

~~~

Never moon a werewolf.

Mike Binder

~~~

Management always needs to have the last word. Case in point: During a meeting at our financial consulting firm, a co-worker was asked to guesstimate a realistic closing rate for the larger cases we were handling.  

"I’d have to say 20 percent," he answered.  

"No, no, no," interrupted our boss. "It’s more like one in five!"  

~~~

Notice on a conference-room door: "Self-Assertiveness Course. Please Barge In".

~~~

A few friends and I were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake.

Someone responded with surprise that sleep was a factor.

Another replied: "Of course sleep has a lot to do with dieting. The only time I’m not eating is when I’m sleeping!"

~~~

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

~~~

Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do.

Emmanuel Swedenborg

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you everyone

There is an emanation from the heart in genuine hospitality which cannot be described, but is immediately felt and puts the stranger at once at his ease.

Washington Irving

 

 

 

The banners are down, our guests from all over the United States and elsewhere have left our city. The concert venues have been cleaned. And what has been called by many the greatest NCAA Basketball Tournament of all time lingers only in memory. Even the weather has turned from being bright and sunny with record setting temperatures to more seasonable cool and cloudy days. But that notwithstanding my city continues to bask in the glow that remains after what Butler University did and how they did it; the team will live on in sports history as one of the all time great stories.

I have been especially pleased and proud of the kudos that our city and its citizens are receiving in the national and international media. Letters have poured in complimenting us on the quality of our venues, our downtown and how well we host a major event. People have mentioned how clean we keep the city, how much there is to do and more, but most of all they mention our people. They use words like friendly, helpful, warm and caring.

We have already begun to make our city even better in preparation for the 2012 Super Bowl and the Women’s NCAA Basketball Final Four next spring. They are in addition to many more events on the schedule including the Indianapolis 500 race next month.

As I reflected on what has been done and what will be done I thought back to more than thirty years ago when our civic leaders shared a vision of how we could come together and demonstrate how citizen volunteers coupled with creative plans to become one of the worlds great host cities. As the years have gone by we have attracted world and national sports championship events, we have become the home city for many major sports organizations and much more. I have volunteered to help with many events and national conventions over the years and what I have heard most often was how well our guests are treated and how much we have to offer our visitors.

What I am most proud of is how the people of my city bought into the vision thirty years ago and then went on to earn all that has happened since. Visit us someday, I think you will be glad you did and I promise you we will be glad to see you.

~~~

And to any new fans we made along the way, I say… welcome to our party. It’s just starting to get going.

Richard Marx

~~~

She said, when my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher to write a story on "Where my family came from." The purpose was to understand your genealogy.

I was not aware of her assignment when she asked me at the dining room table one night,

"Grandma, where did I come from?"

I responded quite nervously because my son and daughter-in-law were out of town and I was stalling until they returned home,

"Well, honey, the stork brought you."

"Where did Mom come from then?"

"The stork brought her, too."

"OK, then…. where did you come from?"

"The stork brought me too, dear."

"Okay, thanks, Grandma."

I did not think anything more about it until two days later when I was cleaning Ann’s room and read the first sentence of her paper. . .

"For three generations there have been no natural births in our family."

~~~

"No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes."

~~~

My friend and I joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar.  

"What are the attributes of this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?"  

"Low in calories" and "lots of fiber," were among the answers.  

She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid fifty-five cents for this candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat.  

From in back of the room a small voice spoke up. "I’ll give you seventy-five cents for it."  

~~~

Talk is Cheap – until you hire a lawyer.

~~~

Mary:  Were your parents upset when you got a divorce?

Jill:  Well, you know how parents are.  My mother said, "SO!  Is this how it’s going to be?  Just one man after another for the rest of your life?"

Mary:  Typical!  What did you tell her?

Jill:  I said, "Gee, I hope so!"

~~~

When you are looking for obstacles, you can’t find opportunities.

J. C. Bell

~~~

A husband was with his wife when she decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him.

In a cocky manner, he asked, "Where are all the men’s clothes?"

In a demure voice the clerk replied,        "All of these clothes *are* for men, sir."

~~~

It is what we think we know already that often prevents us from learning.

Claude Bernard

~~~

A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance.

"Shucks, I’d sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer.

"Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you’d look riding around on a cow."

"Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as I’d look trying to milk a bicycle!"

~~~

A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does.

~~~

Three people were trying to get into heaven. Peter asked the first, "Who’s there?" "It’s me, Albert Jones," the voice replied. St. Peter let him in.

Then St. Peter asked the second one the second same question, "Who’s there?" "It’s me, Charlie Jones." And St. Peter let him in.

Finally he turns to the third, asking the same question, "Who’s there?" "It is I, Verla Chapman," answered the third.

"Oh, great," muttered St. Peter. "Another one of those English teachers."

~~~

The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

He did, you can too

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

 

 

 

I had lunch with an old friend and former neighbor yesterday, a guy even older than I am and yes there are some who are. My friend has had an interesting life so far, he held a wide variety of jobs staying active and after retirement started volunteering helping to improve the lives of the less fortunate. My friend reported that his unpaid work provides him some of the toughest jobs he has ever had and yet he perseveres, in fact he told me that what he does pays him back more than what he earned when he was getting real money.

As my friend entered this new life a few years ago he left the city, built a home in a remote area where he can spend his time with flora and fauna that most of us rarely see. His life combination has provided him peace and harmony. I found that my friend has developed a sharpened sense of appreciation. He does not complain, he appreciates that he gets to do what he does. He appreciates life and the world around him and has found the key to the best of the golden years. And you know what, he was not always like this, he was like so many of the rest of us who run so fast on the treadmill of life that we never learn to appreciate all we really have. Fortunately he has proven that we all can find more than just running in the race.

I few weeks ago I got this article from author Jon Gordon that can help open our eyes so that we can appreciate what we have now and what we might have in the future.

 

"Have to" or "Get to"

Who knew that two simple words could change one’s mindset, perspective and approach to work and life? Just two words have the potential to enhance joy, productivity, performance and change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart.

So often we say things like, "I have to take the kids to practice." "I have to go to this meeting." "I have to finish this project." "I have to go to work today." "I have to take care of this customer." "I have to share this new information with my team." "I have to see my family this weekend."

We act as if we don’t have a choice. As if we are imprisoned by a paycheck and the expectations of a world that forces us to do thing we don’t want to do. But in reality we do have a choice. We can choose our attitude and our actions. We can choose how we view our life and work. We can realize that every day is a gift. It’s not about what we have to do. It’s about what we get to do.

We get to live this life while so many have left this world far too early. We get to drive in traffic while so many are too sick to drive a car. We get to go to a job while so many are unemployed. We get to raise our children even if they drive us nuts at times. We get to interact with our employees and customers and make a difference in their life. We get to use our gifts and talents to make a product or provide a service. We get to eat three meals a day while millions of people are starving. We get to work on projects, answer phone calls, serve customers, participate in meetings, design, create, share, sell, lead and suit up every day for the game of life.

Yes there will be challenges and life isn’t easy but each day we wake up we get another opportunity to make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today. We get to uplift, inspire, encourage, and impact others. We get to live this life. Let’s make the most of it by remembering that life is a gift not an obligation.

Jon Gordon

~~~

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

~~~

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said.

"I’ve never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.

"Really?" she said, softening, "How many models have there been?"

"Four," he replied, "A jug, two apples, and a vase."

~~~

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

~~~

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

Her daughter answered, "Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts."  Needless to say, Mom was perplexed.

Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea.  Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson happened to be about.

He said, "Be not afraid, Thy comforter is coming."

~~~

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

~~~

Linda: What’s that you’re reading?

Jill: A diary.

Linda: What’s in it?

Jill: I can’t tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and confidential affair, It has important secret dreams and secret yearnings. It’s private. It’s not meant to be shared lightly with other people. And besides, this diary belongs to Margaret.

~~~

Old age, to the unlearned, is winter; to the learned, it’s harvest time.

Yiddish saying

~~~

A guy tells his doctor, "I am under a lot of stress.

I keep losing my temper with people and insulting them.

You gotta help me, doctor!"

The doctor says, "Tell me about your problem."

The guy looks at him and yells, "I just did YOU STUPID S.O.B.!"

~~~

I had a difficult time remembering names until I took that Dave Carnegie course

~~~

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company.

The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.

To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game:

"The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2004 Softball Season, we came in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game."

~~~

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.

John Ruskin

~~~

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, "Mummy, where do babies come from?

"The stork, dear." replied Johnny’s Mom.

"Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?" Asked Little Johnny.

Johnny’s mother answer, "The police, dear."

"Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would save us?"

"The fire department, dear."

"Mummy, where does food come from?"

"Farmers, dear."

"Mummy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"What do we need Daddy for?"

~~~

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Butler University, International Inspirational Champions

I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion.

Mia Hamm

 

 

 

The college basketball season is over and Duke is the new national champion. But for many of us the memories of this season will never be forgotten for the Butler University Bulldogs have climbed the highest of mountains as they came within three points of beating a great basketball team for the top prize. And yet in my mind they were big winners and are the finest of champions when measured by what can be accomplished when you apply the very best that is within us to the tasks at hand.

If anyone wrote a story about a small school of a little more than four thousand students, made up of student athletes, two of which are Academic All-Americans, couched by a young guy who had originally quit a lucrative private sector job to be a volunteer assistant coach that went on to almost beat a great legendary basketball team, no one would have believed it. This is a young team; I think there are only two seniors on the team. They believe in themselves. They work hard, always play unselfish team basketball, go to class everyday, they even went on the last days leading up to the tournament. During the academic year they are mainstream students pursuing a wide range of degrees, they live and eat with their fellow students they are Butler students through and through.

And what a coach, I heard one of the all time greats who played for UCLA during their golden years say that Brad Stevens was the closest coach he had seen to John Wooden. He went on to say that Stevens quiet demeanor, his communication of values and the closeness he has with his team are the leadership skills that made Wooden the greatest coach of all time. Stevens said after the game that he was most proud of how the team represented what is best about Butler University of which basketball is only a small part. He is a class act.

In this cynical age it is heartening to see that a group like this can demonstrate how far you can go when you do the right things the right way. I hope everyone will be inspired by these kids and that each of us realize that if we believe in ourselves and do what is right we can create miracles.

~~~

“Most look up and admire the stars. A champion climbs a mountain and grabs one.”

Unknown

~~~

A COWBOY’S GUIDE TO LIFE

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered … not yelled.

* Forgive your enemies.  It messes up their heads.

* Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.

* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

* It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with looks at you in the mirror every mornin’.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

~~~

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

~~~

Bobby’s class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Bobby to recite a sentence with a direct object.

Bobby stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful."

"Why thank you, Bobby," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?"

"A good report card next month," he replied.

~~~

Self-discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don’t talk back.

W.K. Hope

~~~

A minister’s young son sat on the floor of his father’s office watching him write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" the boy asked.

"Why, God tells me." his father replied.

"Well, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

~~~

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

~~~

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?"

"You’ll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.  Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"

~~~

People say that hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anybody who rested to death?

Primatutu

~~~

She writes: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied.  "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Butler Bulldogs."

~~~

Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

~~~

When Jack Benny’s daughter Joan was married for the first time, the L.A. Times had a headline, "Jack Benny’s Daughter Married in $25,000 Affair."

The L.A. Examiner’s headline was "Benny Spends $50,000 on Daughter’s Wedding."

Eddie Cantor woke him up with a phone call to say "Did you read either of the morning papers yet?"

Jack said no.

Cantor said "Well, do yourself a favor and just read The Times.  You’ll save $25,000."

~~~

"Nature gave man two ends — One to sit on and one to think with. Man’s success or failure is dependent on the one he uses most."

~~~

He said: My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, ‘Sexy Senior Citizen’.

You don’t want to think of your grandmother that way, do you?  Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.

~~~

“As my mother says, ‘You give back, you don’t give up.’

You can always choose to help others. If you do, it will change you. ”

Susan Ford

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Go Dawgs!!!

A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.

Elbert Hubbard

 

 

 

It has been a great weekend here in my hometown of Indianapolis. We had a glorious Easter with great weather. We also welcomed visitors from all over the United States who came to watch our College Men’s Basketball national championship games. If you watched any of it on television you saw my city at its best, our citizens are gracious hosts and sure know how to throw a party.

Of course we take special pride in the accomplishments of our Butler University Bulldogs who will play in the championship game tonight. Win or lose, their run to the championship will live on as one of the all time great sport stories. Butler is a small school, it does not have any highly recruited players and they have one of the youngest coaches in basketball who has worked his magic for only three years as a head coach.

They may not bring big names to the game but they bring class, humility, team sprit and big hearts. In some ways they exemplify what I find to be the best of where I live — a town filled with good people who do good things for each other. So my friends if you hear a loud shout from America’s heartland tonight it will be me hollering GO DAWGS!!!!

~~~

If my weekend was not enough I got a great gift the other day. You may remember I recently suggested that we live on the left of the but, meaning that rather than saying something good followed by a but…..that we should stay with the good thoughts and not water them down with negative criticism. The piece triggered one of my favorite readers to build on the theme and after she did she made my day by sending me the following:

 

Ray,

I took this subject and preached a message Sunday called :The right side of your but!  I talked about how we often put God’s will on the left side and ours on the right. Talked about the spies who Moses sent to Canaan.  They saw the greatness of the land, but felt they were too weak, too small e.t.c. How many times I have done the same thing.  I will see great dreams, visions, and goals, and then add: but I am too weak, small e.t.c. When we switch the equation around, however, we accomplish a lot more in life! I am weak, small BUT I know that I can do this or that!  Long story short, the people received it well and I have gotten so many positive testimonies from it.  Just wanted to thank you for the inspiration!

-Nichele

 

I can think of no greater payment for the Daily than this one. I am fortunate to be connected to each of you.

~~~

For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver.

Martin Luther

~~~

"Toys"

Capitalism – He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna – He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Judaism – He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.

Catholicism – He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican – They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox – No, they were ours first.

Atheism – There is no toy maker.

Polytheism – There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism – The toys made themselves.

Church of Christ, Scientist – We are the toys.

B’Hai – All toys are just fine with us.

Amish – Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism – The doll is as important as the dump truck.

Mormonism – Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo – Let me borrow that doll for a second…

7th Day Adventist – He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ – He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist – Once played always played.

Jehovah’s Witnesses – He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism – He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism – Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism – Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism – We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.

~~~

The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, "What are you going through?"

Simone Weil

~~~

A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it.

"I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said.

"But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied.

Smiling, the boy said, "I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!"

~~~

"If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter."

Albert Grant.

~~~

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquillizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquillizers calmed you down?"

"Yes" the mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" he asked.

"Who cares?"

~~~

"You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions."

Naguib Mahfouz

~~~

Jack died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack’s Last Will and Testament.

"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar.

To my daughter, Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."

~~~

You can’t please everybody if you are going to make a difference in this world.

Melvin Chapman

~~~

Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, "What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?"

The other boy replied thoughtfully, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just your Dad, too."

~~~

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Bill Watterson

~~~

Let me arise and open the gate,

to breathe the wild warm air of the heath,

And to let in Love, and to let out Hate,

And anger at living and scorn of Fate,

To let in Life, and to let out Death.

Violet Fane

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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