“Enthusiasm is contagious. Be a carrier.”
The combination of morning slow-wittedness and a semi-busy schedule will again result in a return to a Ray’s Daily Classic. This one was first published on February 11, 2005.
I spend a lot of my time with friends who are looking for a job, answering a request for proposal and the like. We all have times in our lives when we do what we can to be chosen. It might be getting selected as the employee of choice, winning an order against competition, getting picked for a team, and all the other choices that are made by others as we go through life.
Often we don’t make the final cut, get skipped over, or miss out only because we did not stand out against the competition. Lets face it, we are great, but so are others. To get selected we have to have an edge, we must stand out against the crowd. This is not always easy, too many times all things seem equal and we depend on the roll of the dice or that the decision maker will like us better. My belief is that if everything truly is equal, you can still stand out. The secret is enthusiasm. If you honestly believe you are the right person for the job, or the best answer to their need, or for what ever reason that you are the right choice, you ought to be able to convince yourself that they need you. If you believe it, let them know, let your words, body language and optimism show through. Sure the others are good, but you are better since you not only can do what is needed, you are excited about the opportunity to do it. Too many of us tell our story and then stand back and wait for the decision maker to choose. Winners are often the ones who tell their story with enthusiasm. If you have the fire in your belly, let it show in your eyes and in your language, most people don’t, but those that do often win because they have the edge.
Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm.
~ Ralph Archbold ~
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.
* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing?"
* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?
* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.
* Have you noticed her name tattooed on three or more local bikers?
* Have you noticed three or more local bikers’ names tattooed on her?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend’s?
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?
* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?
* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?
* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma’s House of Painful Delights?
* Does she insist that her pet snake sleep with you both ?
* What part of NO does she not understand ?
* Will her mother be paroled in time to attend the wedding?
Life is too short to proofread.
Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this?!"
"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, ‘You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!’"
"Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation. I say, ‘Get behind me, Satan!’"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, ‘It looks fabulous from back here, too!’"
Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he’d like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had. Pleased with his response, they pressed on. "What would you like to take when you attend college?" they asked the little boy. After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, "The refrigerator, if you can get along without it."
The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books about how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn’t poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don’t have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary.
"Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source."
I was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.
After several days, I again contacted the phone company and told them there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine… except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!
Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.
Ever gracious and tactful, my grandmother still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note. It read: "Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn’t last very long in our house."
Clerk in flower shop: "Sorry, we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets?"
Customer (sadly): "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
Life-insurance salesman …
"Do you know the present value of your husband’s policy?" the life-insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone:
Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming trucks, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and he wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said to him, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds."
"Impossible," said the embarrassed man. "You really know what I think?"
"Yes," the lady replied, "Right now, you are thinking that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom."
Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world.
It beats money, power and influence.
~ Henry Chester ~
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.
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