Ray's musings and humor

"There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day."

Alexander Woollcott

 

 

 

My docs and I continue to experiment with my medicines to see if we can get my blood pressure down, the experiment keeps me busy with BP monitoring, periodic blood draws and other stuff. Of course it also steals away time that I could be pursuing more trivial pursuits and spending more time with friends. Being somewhat homebound by weather and energy has provided me a chance to get a few more of those “Will I ever get to it” things done, I figured if I stay in for a couple of years I might even get semi-finished. I do have a full load today and am running out of time so here you go a dusty daily from yesteryear.

Ray

 

Ray’s Daily first sent on February 16, 2005

 

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good."

Author Unknown

~~~

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.  Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.  Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.  Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

Mary Jean Iron

~~~

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."

Jack London

~~~

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem."

David Carradine

~~~

Have a great day.

Ray

~~~

A Toddlers Creed

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.

If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

If it is a phone, I must talk to it.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted. If it IS food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.

If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged. I am toddler!

~~~

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.

Dr. Wayne Dyer

~~~

Margaret was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favorite cure-all could not be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can’t have this without a prescription because it’s a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I’ve been taking it regularly for seventeen years!"

~~~

"Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are."

Malcolm Forbes

~~~

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:

"Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’"

One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook???"

~~~

Seen at Fleegleman’s Kosher Deli:  "The customer is always right; misinformed maybe — perhaps impolite, stubborn, and irate, even dumb, … but never wrong!"

~~~

She said: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. "I’m a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren’t. Who do you think I should see?" Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. "Oh, I’m sorry," I replied. "I can’t recommend any of our doctors." "Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door.

~~~

The union workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!

~~~

A man goes into a pub, sets at the bar, and orders five pints. The barman gives him an odd look since the guy’s all by himself, but he serves up the five pints and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them….One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman, "Four pints, please, mate!" The barman serves up four pints and lines them on the bar. The man downs them….One, Two, Three, Four. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more pints. And one after the other, he knocks them back….One, Two, Three. "Two pints, mate!" he calls, and the barman places two pints in front of him. Down they go….One, Two. As the man slams the last one down on the bar, he says, "One pint, mate." So the barman fills the glass. The guy sits there, staring at it for for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, "Y’know, it’sh a funny t’ing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get…"

~~~

"Never forget that life can only be noble inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle."

Annie Besant

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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