Ray's musings and humor

I found the answer

“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”





Ray is hibernating for a week so we are publishing past Dailies while he is gone. This one was first published on February 1st, 2006.


I talked to two different people this week who wanted to know about making relationships work. I told them both that I knew the secret, or at least one of the secrets. I told them that I honestly believe that the best way to nurture a long term relationship is to help your partner to be what ever she or he wants to be and not what others want them to be. I feel that we each deserve the opportunity to find our own happiness and are dependent on each other not to interfere too much.

Real joy can come from watching someone you care about enjoy their lives and there is even more joy when they are willing to share their happiness with us. I am sure you have found that happiness is contagious, but unfortunately so is unhappiness. I would much rather do what I can to contribute to someone’s happiness than contributing to their unhappiness. I often wish I had been better at it when I was younger. Life is too short to spend it at odds with those close to us, if we can’t support them we should let them go so they can find someone who can help them find happiness.

Of course when you have been married as long as I have you learn that there are certain rules that must be understood. For example my wife often will tell me to choose where we will eat and all I have to do is keep making suggestions until I select the one she wants. I also have to make peace with the fact that I have no taste. I, like so many other husbands find that whatever I think looks good does not. It is that “you’re not going to go out wearing that shirt with those pants” syndrome. But of course when that happens I immediately change, since I am dedicated to helping her be what she wants, including her stepping out with someone who she thinks is presentable.


“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with”

Gillian Anderson


An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure.

The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.

Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country he was told to turn due South.

Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule he inquired, quite agitated, to the controller for the reason of the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.

The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, "Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don’t see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over six miles above the earth!"

The controller answered in a calm voice, "Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747s collide!"


"When the archer misses the mark, he turns and looks for the fault within himself.  Failure to hit the bull’s eye is never the fault of the target.  To improve your aim — improve yourself."

Gilbert Garland


A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.  

"Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"  


My mail is a little slow.  Last month my flower seeds came as a bouquet.


The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the ’03/04 season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day.  Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free booters later in Week 9. And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Securities-Traders-in-a-Declining-Market.

Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.


Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.


There are only two kinds of drivers: Idiots and Maniacs.

Idiots include anyone that drives slower than me, and the Maniacs are everyone that drives faster than me.


A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"


To fight fear, act. To increase fear—wait, put off, postpone.

David J. Schwartz


My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.  

Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"  


I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,

but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Robert Brault


The guest lecturer to a famous Medical College stopped by the bulletin board on his way to the lecture room.

Listed for the day was the topic, "Surprises in Obstetrics." Scrawled under it in pencil were the words,

"Mary had a little lamb."


You should always learn, with life comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the courage to live your life selflessly. The more you learn about yourself and the experiences surrounding your life the more opportunities you have to make your life better and more fulfilling.  

Amy Candy


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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