Ray's musings and humor

I wonder who that was!

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. 

Middle age is when you’re forced to.

Bill Vaughn

 

 

 

One of the things that I truly appreciate is how some of my generation has learned to age gracefully. I think their big secret is that they know you have to adapt or stagnate.

I have learned that you don’t move as quickly as you use to, almost everyone you meet looks familiar but you have forgotten so many names that you’re never sure if you know them or not, you find that the printed word is smaller and people don’t talk as loud as they once did, and life still goes on. But like I have said many times in the past, slower provides more time to see what’s going on, the smaller print and whispered talk makes you concentrate more and of course all of those familiar faces are either someone you really do know or someone you might want to know.

I think the greatest benefit I get from my age is that people forgive me for my mistakes and when they don’t I don’t mind for I have gone way beyond the time when I felt I needed to prove myself. What I now find most gratifying are the lessons I have learned from my failures and few successes that are etched in memory that many seem to value when we meet and share past experiences. The satisfaction that comes from someone reporting that something we talked about made a positive difference in their life is as good compensation as any I received in the past.

I will leave you with one thought, be kind to the old guys for most of them mean well and oh yes, thanks for you tolerance and understanding. Now that’s out of the way let me share with you what I just got from Ken, a guy older than even I am.

 

Observations on Growing Older

~Your kids are becoming you…and you don’t like them…but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good. Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"… they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything …movies, hotels, flights.

~You forget names … but it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything … especially golf.

~Your wife is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.

~The things you cared to do, you don’t care to do, but you care that you don’t care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring then you do in bed. It’s called "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married … Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just  an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem …were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You use more 4 letter words … "what?" … "when?"  ???

~Now that you can afford an expensive watch, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You have a night out with the guys but your home by 9:00 P.M … next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve read it.

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that you have retired … your wife would give anything if you found a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ….2 of which you will never wear.

~~~~

But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies

And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!

~~~

If I could remember your name, I’d ask you where I left my keys.

~~~

After her 90th Birthday, Marie found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult, so she decided to send checks to everyone instead.  On each card she wrote, "Buy your own present," and she mailed them early. Marie enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities. Only after Christmas did she get around to clearing off her cluttered desk.  Under a stack of papers, she was horrified to find the gift checks which she had forgotten to enclose.

~~~

Save the world too often, it begins to expect it.

~~~

Some more things I have learned from long time Floridians:

** You don’t pull off the road to look at an alligator.

** You realize that the only reason for Georgia’s existence is to provide extra billboard space for advertising Florida.

** You wear a sweater when it gets below 70 degrees.

** You don’t even consider Miami a nice place to visit.

** You only eat Early Bird Specials.

** You know not to drive from Pensacola to the Keys in one day (or two).

** You can remember when there was no good reason to go to Orlando.

** Your definition of "waterfront property" doesn’t include condominium apartments on man-made canals 20 miles from the ocean.

** You can laugh when Northerners say that Florida doesn’t have a change of seasons, because you know the rates are much lower after Labor Day.

~~~

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

Joseph Campbell

~~~

Linda, a college freshman brought home some friends with new opinions to share with her grandmother Esther. Arguing with great intensity the coeds discussed Darwin and the revisionists’ attack on the theory of evolution.

Finally, Esther spoke up. "Heredity…environment. Young girls thinking about such things? Feh."

"It’s very complicated issue, Grandma."

"Complicated-shomplicated!  Please. Even sixty years ago in Russia, we knew the answer, 1-2-3. If the baby looks like the father, that’s heredity. If he looks like the milkman, that’s environment."

~~~

Marriage changes passion …You get married and suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

~~~

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he’d wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones.

"Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I’ve changed a lot of tires. . . maybe I can help here."

"You sure can," the man with the flat tire replied wearily.  "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I can concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done."

~~~

Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have.

Marva Collins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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