Ray's musings and humor

Don’t worry about me

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

 

 

 

Since I will probably spend the next couple of days thinking about 2010 and the part I will play, or at least audition for I am spending today looking back on 2009. Most of my friends and relatives have been surprised that I have not been more depressed and worried because of the major health incidents that temporarily knocked me off my feet in the past twelve months. If the truth be known I really don’t need to worry since so many others do it for me, actually I am really fortunate for I have found that worrying about those things that are beyond our control is truly a waste of time. I think there is a difference between worry and legitimate concern, with worry being subjective while legitimate concern is based on objective foundations.

I wish more of us realized that worry driven by our imagination is not only counterproductive it is most often debilitating, sometimes to the point of becoming self fulfilling prophecy. Legitimate concern on the other hand allows us to exercise caution when appropriate and to do contingency planning if necessary. In reality few of us have time to spare wasting it on worry instead of living. I know I am not about to spend my days anxiously waiting for catastrophe, I really don’t have any time to spare since I have so much more I want to do.

I will admit however that I find aging gracefully to be more difficult than I would like it to be. My arthritic fingers point in multiple direction; bending over is not bad, but straightening up is more of a chore than it once was. I also find that I really have to pay attention to make sure I hear and understand what is being said. But you know it does make my days interesting since the challenges substitute for the more physical activities of the past, at least my aging body keeps me occupied. Fortunately I find mental exercise to be more fun anyway.

Speaking of aging gracefully here is something I saved to share with you and now seems to be a good time to do so.

 

Another year has passed and we’re all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder.

 

I rack my brain for happy thoughts, to put down on my pad,

But lots of things that come to mind just make me kind of sad.

 

There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand about "Living in the Past".

 

We used to go to friends homes, football games and lunches.

Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, and after-funeral brunches.

 

We used to have hangovers, from parties that were happy.

Now we suffer body aches and sleep the night away.

 

We used to go out dining, and couldn’t get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags, come home and take a pill.

 

We used to often travel to places near and far.

Now we get backaches from riding in the car.

 

We used to go out shopping for new clothing at the Mall.

But, now we never bother, all the sizes are too small.

 

That, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up… before you’re too dang old!!

~~~

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

Douglas MacArthur

~~~

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he’s sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I’ll have another waterloo."

The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Thinking the other man’s drink may be a specialty of the house, he says, "I’ll have a waterloo, too."

The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and the customer takes a big drink.

"Hey," he says. "This isn’t any good. It tastes just like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"

~~~

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end.

Unknown

~~~

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles.

The butcher leaned over to her and said, "My mother, Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s good to have sex." So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, "My father,Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex." So they did.

They went to bed after saying their prayers. When they awoke, he said to her, "My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it’s good to have sex." So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest. Again he whispers in her ear, "My grandfather, Moishe, says after praying it’s good to have sex." So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, "So how is the new husband?"

She replied, "Well, a scholar he isn’t, but he comes from a wonderful family…

~~~

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been. ”

George Eliot

~~~

My wife called me from her car after she had arrived at an appointment. I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally, she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me and now, I can’t find it!"

I replied, "Aren’t you talking on it?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are not going to tell anybody about this!"

~~~

The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime.

Shannon Fife

~~~

I heard about a lady who was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn’t have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"

~~~

It takes a long time to become young.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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