Ray's musings and humor

Bring Back Reason

We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.

Blaise Pascal

 

 

 

I got the following message yesterday from one of my favorite friends who currently is in Uganda:

 

Hi Ray

You won’t believe what I did yesterday. I started helping a 15 year old with breathing techniques while in labor. Yoga and having two children made me qualified. She ended up having C section and I went into delivery room. It was so sad to see the procedure and then the baby came out. She had no family at first so I held and comforted the baby for the first hour.

Then I was called into delivery for natural child birth. Uganda women take the pain so you don’t hear much. Dennis heard me outside however yelling PUSH.

Found land today for new birthing center we will build by February in a village that has nothing but huts.

Talk soon,

Sally

 

My first thought when I got this message was how amazing it is that my friends can send me immediate messages via satellite using their Blackberry no matter where they are in the world. I often feel that life was better when it was simpler not that many years ago, but I must admit hearing from friends no matter where they are is something I value.

My second thought was that my friend is doing great things while far too many of us are spending our time in heated arguments accomplishing nothing other than making sure we accomplish as little as possible. I am beginning to believe that a person’s knowledge is inversely proportional to how loud they scream.

The voice of reason requires reasonable listeners and reason without a preponderance of reasonable people taking action results in chaos and often in irreversible damage. I yearn for a return to civility; there is far too much work to be done for us to be wasting time and energy in argument.

I may not be able to go to Africa and do what Sally does and will continue do for others, but I can help here at home. I don’t have enough time left to squander it in non-productive pursuits so I am not going to do so.

If you live in Indianapolis and would like to know what you can do to help stop by Monument Circle downtown tomorrow for community day between 11 AM and 2 PM. If you do you will discover all kinds of opportunities to pitch in and make a difference. Oh, and by the way, if you do stop by the Salvation Army tables and say hi, I’ll be there offering all kinds of feel good and do good volunteer opportunities. Maybe we can even do something together in the days and months ahead.

~~~

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.

Albert Einstein

~~~

A grandma and grandpa were busy telling their little granddaughter what their own childhood was like: "I used to ice skate outside on a pond during the winter," Grandpa said.

"I had a swing made from a tire," Grandma added. "It hung from a tree in our front yard."

"I rode our pony bareback," Grandpa said.

"My brothers and sisters and I used to pick wild raspberries in in the woods," Grandma said.  "We would eat them right off the bush, staining our mouth and fingers in the process."

The little granddaughter was wide-eyed, taking all this in.  At last she said, "Wow…..I sure wish I’d gotten to know you two sooner!"

~~~

"A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier."

~~~

You Know Your In Trouble When

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.

The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

You’re so lonely that you invite the peeping Tom in… and he says no.

Your children’s school calls to surrender.

Your mother approves of the person you’re dating.

Your plants do better when you don’t talk to them.

~~~

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

~~~

Little Johnny and Little Mary were talking one day. Little Mary asked "what is the highest number you have ever counted up?" "I counted up to 1,279 once" Johnny answered. "WoW!

Really? Why did you stop at 1,279?"

Mary asked. "Because church was over."

~~~

“Better keep yourself clean and bright. You are the window through which you must see the world.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."

There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"

~~~

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Coco Chanel

~~~

A devoutly Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, after careful inquiry, they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Christian dogs.  They found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied eagerly, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed; they immediately purchased the animal, and went home (piously  of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Christian dog and his religious skills, they called the dog and began showing him off.  The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about "normal" tricks.

"Well," they said, "let’s find out."   Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"  Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the guest’s forehead, closed his eyes, and began to pray.

~~~

He’s so dumb, if he saw a sign that said "wet floor" he probably would.

~~~

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn’t quite make it.  She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn.

Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee:  $200."

~~~

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

~~~

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued,  "Anybody caught breaking this rule a second time will be fined $60.  Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.  Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How   much for a season pass?"

~~~

"Be forever a student. He and he alone is an old man who feels that he has learnt enough and has need for no more knowledge."

Sivananda

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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