Ray's musings and humor

And the Doctor said….

 “Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.”

Storm Jameson

 

 

 

I met with my neurologist yesterday afternoon. She was dazzled and amazed by my miraculous recovery from my apparent stroke. After we celebrated we got down to the serious business of what I should do about my living with my aneurysm. The first thing was to cut out all strenuous exercise and that is no problem as I have been practicing not doing strenuous exercise for many years. Secondly I need to add the fact that I have an aneurysm to my already loaded med alert bracelet. Then came the serious stuff, flying is OK but cruise and travel that takes me out of reach of a neurosurgeon is a roll of the dice as a surprise major headache requires a 911 call for an medical emergency team and while she was a little more optimistic about the odds of surviving an episode the risk is still high.

So now I need to discuss with my wife what we might do other than sitting around, which I won’t do. Do we limit travel to the US and stay close to metropolitan areas or do we decide to bank on my continued good fortune and go further afield including back to sea. I know others who have lived with my condition for years with no problem. I suspect we will stay travel conservative until they do another brain scan in December and a full review in January as then we will know if the artery has weakened or remained the same as it is now. If it remains the same I would hope we would be a little more adventurous. I do know that there is no way that I’ll become a recluse only because it might buy me more years, in my mind that would have the reverse effect since the mind would go before the body.

Bottom line is that all is well. I am better off than most. Just think if I had not had the stroke I would be coasting fat, dumb and happy not knowing I had a problem. This way I am just fat and happy while gratefully benefiting from everyone’s best wishes and prayers.

 

It’s Fine Today

By Douglas Malloch

 

Sure, this world is full of trouble-

I ain’t said it ain’t.

Lord, I’ve had enough and double

Reason for complaint;

Rain and storm have come to fret me,

Skies are often gray;

Thorns and brambles have beset me

On the road – but say,

Ain’t it fine today?

 

What’s the use of always weepin’,

Making trouble last?

What’s the use of always keepin’

Thinkin’ of the past?

Each must have his tribulation –

Water with his wine;

Life, it ain’t no celebration,

Trouble? – I’ve had mine –

But today is fine!

 

It’s today that I am livin’,

Not a month ago.

Havin’; losin’; takin’; givin’;

As time wills it so.

Yesterday a cloud of sorrow

Fell across the way,

It may rain again tomorrow,

It may rain – but say,

Ain’t it fine today?

~~~

The top ten reasons men should join the church choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendonitis from non-stop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who’s Praying, Who’s Sleeping?"

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400 500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you’ve been singing with us for a few weeks.

5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it’s soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it’s a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

3. If you think you’ve done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Bengals or Colts.

And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

1. When people ask you whether you’ve been behaving yourself,  you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I’m a Choir Boy."

~~~

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

~~~

Hints From Helga

Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I’d love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…"

Painting: Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident…I haven’t had the heart to clean it…"

General Cleaning: Mix one-quart cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cup soft water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…"

~~~

Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.

St. Francis of Assisi

~~~

There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments.

There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade.

A student, who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicuous C, retyped it and handed the work in.

In due course he received it back with the professor’s comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!"

~~~

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. 

This makes it hard to plan the day.

Elwyn Brooks White

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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