Ray's musings and humor

Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.

Lou Erickson

 

 

 

I saw the neurosurgeon on Friday and I got good news and bad news. The good news is that I will not be getting brain surgery; the bad news is that I am not getting it because it is too risky. They will do another brain scan in December and if the aneurysm shows further weakening of the artery wall then the risk may be worth taking. I’ll see the neurologist next week to see about any lifestyle changes that she thinks I should consider but I think it will be business as usual. I may have to revisit my planed immortality, but not yet. Life goes on and mine is full and never better although I may reduce some of the content so that I can live a little faster and include more diversions.

In the meantime there is no use fretting over those things you cannot control especially since there is so much other stuff to think about and enjoy. As Erickson says the meter keeps running whether you are standing still or moving and it gets awfully boring if you just sit in one place listening to it tick when you could be moving and enjoying the view.

Anyway you know me well enough to realize that I am a big believer in the philosophy of Isak Dinesen who wrote “Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.”

So enough of that and let us get on with the show for it is like Tina, one of our readers sent me one time:

Always remember…. when life hands you Lemons, ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

~~~

“Of course life is bizarre, the more bizarre it gets, the more interesting it is.

The only way to approach it is to make yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show.”

Author Unknown

~~~

The following are actual comments from MIT’s Course Evaluation Guide:

"His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."

"Textbook is confusing… someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."

"This class was a religious experience for me… I had to take it all on faith."

"The instructor would make a good parking lot attendant.  He tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."

"TA steadily improved throughout the course.  I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up."

"The course was very thorough.  What wasn’t covered in class was covered on the final exam."

"He is one of the best teachers I have had. He is well organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject.  I hope my comments don’t hurt his chances of getting tenure."

~~~

I’d like to go to an assertiveness training class but first I need to check with my wife.

Adam Christing

~~~

Two women were discussing reincarnation. 

One asked the other if her husband believed in it. 

The second woman said, "Does my husband believe in life after death?  My husband doesn’t even believe in life after dinner!"

~~~

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

~~~

Didn’t get the job? Try this.

Dear [Interviewer’s Name]:

Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview].  After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.  This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite [Firm’s Name]’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

~~~

Nonconformists are all alike.

~~~

One day a man approached Groucho Marx and he said, "Please insult my wife. My wife loves your work. It would really give her a thrill if you insulted her."

Groucho turned to the man and said, "Sir, you should be ashamed of yourself: To be married to a woman like that and not be able to think up your own insults!"

~~~

The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.

David Brinkley

~~~

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin’. . .perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.

"The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad. "Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"

~~~

Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost part of your life.

Michael Leboeuf

~~~

After they had brought their first baby home from hospital, a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers.

"I’m busy", he said. "I’ll do the next one."

The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers.

He looked puzzled. "Oh," he replied finally. "I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"

~~~

That best portion of a good man’s life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

William Wordsworth

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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