Ray's musings and humor

Good for them!!!

Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire.

W. B. Yeats

 

 

 

I, like every other grandparent, know that our grandchildren are the brightest, most attractive and highly proficient kids ever. We just sometimes wish that their parents could walk on water like they do. So OK, we might be a little prejudiced and possibly only see them at their best. But in spite of my bias I was objectively proud of two of my seven grandchildren last night. I had a grandson graduating from his parochial middle school at the same time my gymnast granddaughter was graduating from a different parochial middle school. Since my wife and I could not be at both schools at the same time she attended my grandsons graduation at his school and I attended my granddaughters at her school.

I wish I could have been at both for both kids were recognized for their achievements. In fact my grandson was also presented with a ten thousand dollar academic scholarship from Cathedral High School, one of our leading college prep institutions. I truly enjoy both his analytical skills and his sense of humor. He is special also by his ability to balance his intense participation in both soccer and basketball and now I can also brag about his academic skill.

My granddaughter did well also, in fact she had to make a multiple trips to the podium on crutches (she is recovering from knee surgery and has to wear a full leg brace) to get her awards. She also received special recognition for being one of only four kids that had straight A’s every year they attended middle school. In addition she and one other graduate received the schools top award for a combination of academic, service and just being well liked good kids. Her school success is especially noteworthy since she was able to do so well even though she is a nationally ranked gymnast who practices for four hours a day 6 days a week and sometimes even more and has had miss school days on occasion in order to compete in National meets all over the US and on occasion attend the National Training Camp. As I have mentioned before I have never met a better time manager or anyone who handles challenges like those she does with so many smiles and so much grace.

I am proud of all of my grandchildren and am thankful that I have been blessed by having them in our life. I am also grateful to my children for staying here in our city which so we can regularly bask in the glow of their children as they thrive and grow.

Our immortality exists in what we leave behind, in our case I think our greatest legacy will be our grandchildren and what they will do to help make our world a better place.

~~~

In a completely rational society, the best of us would aspire to be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor and the highest responsibility anyone could have.

Lee Iacocca

~~~

HELPFUL HINTS FOR LIFE

1. If you’re bidding on a job for UPS, don’t send your bid by FedEx.

2. If your computer says, Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.

3. If you want your refrigerator’s ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source.  Air doesn’t make good ice unless it is mixed with water.

4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.

6. When the PC says, "Insert diskette #2," don’t do it immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you’re sure you can make them both fit in there.

7. When your PC says "You have mail," don’t go to the company mail room and look for a package.

8. The French version of Internet Explorer doesn’t translate English language web pages into French.

9. If you’re in the armed services, and it’s April 1st, and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for new orders, don’t.

10. If you go to the computer store to buy a mousepad, you don’t have to specify whether it’s for a Windows or a Macintosh.

~~~

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.

Sam Ewing

~~~

A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother."

"Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn’t time before your birthday."

"Why don’t you do like they do down at Daddy’s factory when they want something in a hurry?  Put more men on the job."

~~~

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

~~~

A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I’m a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don’t care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo."

The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket.

After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?"

"That’s nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy who I put off in Buffalo!"

~~~

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

~~~

Whenever I travel by plane someone always says, "Have a safe trip."

Since when does a safe plane flight become my responsibility?  I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do! Go kick the tires, drug test the pilot, what?

I feel I’m doing my part by not going up to the cockpit every five minutes and asking, "Are we there yet?"

~~~

A frustrated wife told me the other day her definition of retirement: "Twice as much husband on half as much pay."

~~~

Four little aging Jewish ladies were sitting by the pool in Miami Beach. One of them looked at the others and said: "Do you girls still like sex?"

After a few seconds of silence, one looked over and replied: "Honey, I still love Saks, Macy’s, Bloomingdales…all of those nice stores."

~~~

Confusion not only reigns, it pours.

~~~

The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner.

She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?"

~~~

Our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

~~~

A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.

The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?"

The man said, "You don’t understand. I need a card that covers BOTH events! You see, we’re celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife’s thirty-fourth birthday…"

~~~

Every individual makes a difference. We cannot live through a single day without making an impact on the world around us. And we all have free choice–what sort of difference do we want to make? Do we want to make the world around us a better place? Or not?

Jane Goodall

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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