Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2009

Thanks for being there

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”

Ryunosuke Satoro

 

 

 

As you know I often spend time talking about happiness keys and what we might do to use them. Recently I read an article that provided tips for what I believe is the most important element of true happiness and that is building and sustaining strong relationships with others. I sincerely believe that the greatest contributor to unhappiness is isolation and loneliness. Even those who maintain a gregarious outward appearance can be truly lonely if they are unable to retain trusting relationships with others.

Here is what Bud Bilanich executive coach, motivational speaker, author, and blogger offers as tools to help build permanent bridges to true friendship:

 

It Pays to Be Nice

Here are some thoughts to help you become more interpersonally competent. If you use them, you will be able to build strong, lasting relationships with the people around you.

* Work hard at relating well with all kinds of people. People who are different from you might make you feel uncomfortable at first. However, they also have the potential for teaching you something you didn’t know.

* Listen well and demonstrate your understanding of others’ points of view. Ask questions if you don’t understand; repeat your understanding to make sure you got it right.

* Be a consensus builder. If you focus on where you agree with another person, you’ll find that it will be easier to resolve differences and come to agreement.

* Learn how to relate to all kinds of people. Focus on building mutually beneficial relationships.

* Put others at ease. Be diplomatic and tactful.

* Be warm, pleasant and gracious, and sensitive to the interpersonal needs and anxieties of others.

* Be receptive to feedback.

* Take a deep breath when you are angry. Don’t blow up. Present your side of things in a measured tone of voice.

* Take responsibility for your feelings. Don’t blame others if you are unhappy.

* Be easy to get to know. Share your feelings. Be open about your personal beliefs.

* Be attentive to the needs of others. Listen actively. Set a goal of listening twice as much as you speak.

* Avoid judging and criticizing and preparing your response while the other person is speaking. Instead, focus on understanding what they are saying, and the emotions behind what they are saying.

* Show others the respect they deserve as human beings — listen to them and do your best to put yourself in their shoes. Respond to the feelings they share with you before responding with facts.

* Be humble, not a know-it-all. Apologize when you’re at fault. Give people credit when they are correct.

* Speak only when you have something to add to the conversation. Don’t make comments just to hear yourself speak. Don’t state the obvious.

* Look people in the eye when you are speaking with them. Ask questions to clarify things that are not clear to you.

* Acknowledge other people for their contributions and talents. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves.

The common sense point here is simple, and a little Zen-like. People can spot a phony. So don’t just act in an interpersonally competent manner. Be interpersonally competent. Treat people with respect. Engage them. Listen to what they have to say. Avoid being judgmental and overly critical.

~~~

“There are two types of people – those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."”

Frederick L. Collins

 

~~~

Young Morris asked his father, "Dad, was Adam Jewish?"

His father put down his newspaper and thought for a moment. He was an expert at Talmudic reasoning and in the art of making a point by an unanswerable question. He replied, "If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?" (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn’t listening.)

"Therefore, we can drop the Adam problem and instead ask ourselves, "Was Eve Jewish?"

"To answer that, we have only to ask the question, "Would anyone but a Jewish girl say, ‘Here, have a piece of fruit’?"

~~~

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

~~~

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

~~~

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.

~~~

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me.")

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10" ("And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.").

~~~

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’."

Rita Rudner

~~~

I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent.  On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver.  "I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called.  "I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot."

"Please don’t worry," I said to her.  "I’m sure our insurance companies will take care of everything."

"Thank you for your understanding," she said.  "You’re so much nicer than the man I hit on my way out."

~~~

Ballerinas are always on their toes.  Why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

~~~

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.

After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

"Everything’s fine, Folks," he reassured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items."

~~~

"We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck…But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness."

Ellen Goodman

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

The plays the thing

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.”

Oscar Wilde quotes

 

 

 

Last Saturday evening I attended the final performance of a long time performing arts series that has always been a favorite of mine. The Indianapolis newspaper did interview me and allowed me to express my regrets at the loss of something that I felt was a community asset. I am hopeful that it will return one day.

The final offering was a concert by Grammy award winners Riders in the Sky who has been performing together for more than thirty years. I had seen them a few years ago when they appeared in an Indianapolis Symphony Pops concert and while their musical style is something I normally pass up I enjoy these guys since they are so much fun to watch.

It was obvious to me as I watched and overheard my fellow theatre goers, that our individual capacity to be entertained varies widely. I listened to those who knew in advance that they would not like what they saw, others who seemed to say “OK I’m here now dazzle me” and still others who are big fans and knew they would love the show. In my case I honestly feel that I am open to be entertained by most things I see. I might not be overwhelmed by the show but seldom do I regret my attendance. You see I look to the experience as a moment away from the norm, a chance to appreciate the effort someone puts into trying to please us and more often than not I end up broadening my appreciation of the theatre arts.

Best of all when I go expecting to be entertained without it always being a spectacular event I am seldom disappointed. My theatrical adventures are just like most everything else, there is much to be seen and enjoy if we are only willing to look and let what we see into our lives.

In a similar vein today was a rainy day in my town and some felt it was miserable while I was grateful that our spring flowers were being watered, our roads were cleaned and the dust around us washed away. My life is good I wish others would see that theirs can be as well.

~~~

From the start it has been the theatre’s business to entertain people … it needs no other passport than fun.

BERTOLT BRECHT

~~~

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I’m not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like ‘Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!

~~~

People are lonely, because they build walls instead of bridges.

~~~

Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn’t there if he can buy her a drink.

The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine’s Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"

The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."

The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know –she might say yes."

The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right — how likely is THAT to happen?"

~~~

My psychiatrist says I’m manic-depressive ……I have mixed feelings about that.

~~~

A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years."

"Amazing," said the counselor. "How did you do it?"

"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward."

~~~

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.

William James

~~~

We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.

"This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."

~~~

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West

~~~

He said: When I was a kid, my dad and I had a running joke. If anyone asked what he did for a living, I always said, "He’s a sports mechanic. He fixes boxing matches and horse races."

Once I answered a teacher this way. She flipped out and summoned my parents. Dad calmed her down by explaining it was a joke.

"So, what do you do?" she asked.

Dad, a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company said, "I sell drugs."

~~~

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

William A. Ward

~~~

A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "Will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city."

"Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."

~~~

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

~~~

A Civil War soldier, who had lost his bayonet, whittled one from wood so that he could pass inspection. He hoped he would not be discovered until the regiment had gone into battle, where he planned to pick one up from a dead soldier.

At inspection, an officer asked to see his bayonet. The soldier stated, "Sir, I promised my father I would not unsheathe my bayonet unless I intended to kill someone with it."

The Officer insisted that the soldier hand over the bayonet.

Taking it out, the soldier looked skyward and said, "May the Lord change my bayonet to wood for breaking my vow."

~~~

Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

~~~

He said:

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last.

She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."

~~~

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

A new beginning for us all

What appears to be the end may really be a new beginning

 

 

The week has caught up with me, I only have two days activities to complete today and now I have been actioned to visit with my Primary Doc so I am going back to see if things were easier a few years back. Here is that day’s Daily.

~~~

Ray’s Daily April 17, 2006

I sing of brooks, of blossoms, birds, and bowers:

Of April, May, of June, and July flowers.

I sing of Maypoles, Hock-carts, wassails, wakes,

Of bridegrooms, brides, and of their bridal cakes.

Robert Herrick

~~~

It seems like it was just the other day that I said goodbye to summer and sang the praises of autumn with its smells, brisk weather, and the chance to again wear my favorite sweater. I had only blinked my eyes and fall was gone and winter was upon us. And now April is here and flowers are in bloom everywhere; the grass has laid its sheet of green and the yellows, reds and purples marking springs advance stand out announcing that Spring has returned. Windows are thrown open all around us and we hear hundreds of birds sing their songs of joy. And all around are people celebrating natures rebirth.

~~~

A little Madness in the Spring

Is wholesome even for the King.

Emily Dickinson

~~~

Let us follow Emily’s advice and let ourselves go. It is time to throw our troubles away for at least a little while so that we can bask in the warmth of the season. I am hanging up my jackets, putting away my sweaters and hollering to those who are about to begin their annual frolic; "wait for me." Let’s run through the grass holding hands together with the spring rain in our face as we share our thanks for the gifts of Spring.

~~~

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Robert Frost:

~~~

DR. SEUSS COMPUTES

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,

Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

 

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

 

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

Then you have to flash your memory

and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

~~~

Take interest in your future. It’s where you’re going to spend the rest of your life.

~~~

A 50-ish man is driving on a slow highway in the middle of the night. He has a flat tire. He gets out of his car and is changing his tire, when out of the blue, another car pulls up behind him.

He thinks "That’s nice. Someone is stopping to help me."

The guy gets out of his car, walks to the front of the other car and lifts the hood.

The owner says: "What the hell are you doing?"

The other guy replies: "Well, I see you’re stealing the tires, so I’m taking the damn battery!"

~~~

"If you don’t make mistakes it means you’re not really trying… and you’re probably boring too."

~~~

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ It worked."

~~~

Friendship is what binds the world together in peace, may we all become friends.

~~~

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.

"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked.

"We weren’t looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."

~~~

"If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average."

W.E. Hickson

~~~

Always remember.

The driver in front of you is always an idiot.

The driver in back of you is always a moron.

If there is a driver on your right, he/she is always stupid.

If there is a car on your left, the driver is always an imbecile until he/she finishes passing you and you can take that lane.

Then, he/she becomes an idiot.

~~~

"I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: ‘This door is alarmed.’ I said to myself: ‘How do you think I feel?’"

Arnold Brown

~~~

Come, gentle Spring; ethereal Mildness, come!

James Thomson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

The secret — One day at a time

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.

 

 

Last Saturday a friend and I talked about how the burden to achieve a happy life is really on ourselves. It can be frightening when we realize that there are no magic answers nor can we expect others to do it for us. The problem, I believe is that too many of us get frightened by the challenge and end up resigning ourselves to the belief that nothing can be done. After thinking about our discussion I realized that more often than not our fear is based on the belief that we must do everything at once and so we set our sight on almost instant change, in other words we have unrealistic expectations.

In truth, just like everything else big changes don’t happen overnight and we are better off concentrating on making changes one step at a time. If we want more friends all we have to do is make one new one, and then later another, and then yet another and after time goes by we find our lonesomeness has disappeared. It is the same with almost everything else we may want; it is a process that requires us to begin at the starting line and not at the finish line. If we measure progress by our small steps we win almost everyday instead of being frustrated by the race and the time it takes to reach the goal. In truth life is lived in the process and not at the finish line and if we make good use of what we are given each day we won’t have time to agonize over what we have yet to achieve.

The first step for most of us is to decide what it is we want or at least think we want. If we don’t know where we want to go we not only won’t get there we won’t even know where to start. Here is something that may help.

If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me!

What are 10 two letter words that make up one of the most powerful lessons one can learn in this lifetime? It goes along with the saying, “If you want something done right, do it yourself!” The 10 two letter words are: If it is to be, it is up to me! What a simple but profound concept on can learn from such simple words.

If it is to be….if what is to be? That is the great part, you can fill in the blank here. If _____ is to be then you have chosen for it to be and will then bring it into existence. The blank, the “it” is the part of this statement which allows you to become a creator. It allows you to bring into existence, or in your life, that which has not been there before. This is where you dreams become realities and your goals become achievable. If success is to be, it is up to me!

I always speak of a 97% and a 3%. The 97% of the worlds population believe in a different saying than this one. Even though most may agree with this 10 two letter word phrase, they don’t really believe it or apply it. The 97% really believe in a phrase that goes something like this: If it is to be, who is going to give it to me…or….If it is to be, the government will provide it for me….or….If it is to be, it is free! I could go on and on.

Now the other 3% know the true meaning to this phrase and apply it. If there is anything that happens in their lives, it is because they made it happen. They thought it up, they set some goals, and they took consistent action in making sure that it happened. Do they quit when the road gets a little rough? No! Do they listen to the nay-sayers and the wanna-bes? No! Are they deterred by the masses opinions or the bandwagoners? No!

David Allred

~~~

The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal.

The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

Benjamin Mays

~~~

In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries.  Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression…

In America we call it golf.

~~~

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Lady Nancy Astor

~~~

My friend’s husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores. One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet that read: "Martha Stewart doesn’t live here."

The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper. The note read: "Neither does Bob Vila."

~~~

"My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there."

Ron Richards

~~~

It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat.  But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.

As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"

The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"

"That’s right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for Bernice."

"Bernice is your wife?" Asked the baker.

"Of course she’s my wife!  Do you think my mother would send me out on a night like this?"

~~~

When asked what she wanted for her birthday, little Sarah said, "One of everything, please!"

~~~

She said, always remember these important rules when asking a man to do something:

1. Make sure the man is conscious.

2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with the sports section.

3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three hours, max.

4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. Offer to cook him something that doesn’t have a peel-back cover.

5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again for another 35 minutes.

6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you’d better" or "do as I say and no one will get hurt."

~~~

When you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to worry about.

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: "Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… "Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother"

~~~

Love is blind and it’s not too bright, either.

~~~

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students.

My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf.

"What are all these books?" he asked.

Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. 

"Really?" he said.  Someone printed out the whole thing?"

Jeffrey Labonte

~~~

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,

anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Anonymous

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Want to brighten your life?

You may not have saved a lot of money in your life, but if you have saved a lot of heartaches for other folks, you are a pretty rich man.

Seth Parker

 

 

 

Tomorrow I will be taping a Radio Show for the Salvation Army and I plan on talking about the value of volunteerism. Mainly I plan on focusing in on what the act of volunteering does for those who do it. We all know that there are hundreds of thousands of unselfish examples of people helping people everyday in our country. People like you and me are giving of there time to help the sick, the young, the people faced with the results of natural disaster, those struggling to rehabilitate themselves after years of substance abuse, the homeless and so many more. These good folks clean up dirty neighborhoods, clear streams, tutor children, build homes for the homeless, cook meals for the hungry, visit the sick, in other words they make the world a better place than it would have been if not for them.

But for me the miracle is what the volunteer gets in return. The act of volunteering adds a dimension to life that is almost indescribable. I am not talking about a feeling of pride or sanctimonious superiority or the fulfillment of an obligation; rather the enrichment of heart and soul, the chance to break out of our daily grinds and take the time to do things that provide a measurable benefit and ends with that feeling that comes from a job well done. I find that some of the best things in life come from meeting new people and working with them to do something for others.

No one has to know about what we do, we know that we took a few hours out of our day and did something worthwhile and that is enough. Fortunately for me many of those who were strangers have become lasting friends through the time spent together volunteering. And those of you who have volunteered to join with me on May the 8th at the Central Indiana Special Olympics you will see that the joy we share with these challenged athletes will spill over into our heats and make that Saturday special for us all.

I especially want to thank those of you who have offered to help on the 9th, I know you’ll be glad you did. If you have would like to see how spending a few hours on a Saturday can brighten your life, just e-mail me at ray@iquest.net or reply to today’s daily and I’ll fill you in.

As you know I am a big fan of Ralph Marston and I am glad he also sees the value of volunteerism the the quality of life. Here is one of the examples he has offered.

Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now

As soon as you change your attitude, you change your life. There’s no need to wait for something to take effect. It kicks in right away. Too often we get stuck in negative thought patterns that bring a self-defeating attitude. When that happens, what’s needed is an attitude "jump start" to get back on the road. Here are some ideas:

1. Do something new or do something in a completely different way. Go somewhere new for lunch or take another route to the office. Buy and read a magazine from a field that you know nothing about. Try a new kind of soft drink. Listen to a different radio station. Imagine what you would do in your business if your suppliers became your customers. Look for opportunities to open your mind.

2. Do something for someone with absolutely no expectation of return. Look for opportunities to do this. They’re all around. Help someone who looks lost — go beyond what you would normally do out of politeness and really make sure they know how to find what they’re looking for. Volunteer to help at your child’s school, at your church, at a community center. Again, go beyond just doing it out of a sense of obligation. Do it cheerfully and excitedly.

3. Call an old friend you haven’t talked to for years. Not to sell them anything or tell them about your latest opportunity, but just to find out what they’re doing. Take an interest in how their life has been since you last saw them. Ask about their family, their job, their interests and activities. Try to ask and listen to them three or four times as much as you talk about yourself.

4. Get some exercise. Move your body and enjoy the feeling of your muscles working. Enjoy movement and physical effort. Get your heart pumping and work up a sweat.

~~~

The world is hugged by the faithful arms of volunteers.

Everett Mámor

~~~

The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job.

"We make parts for microscopes.  You’ll be required to work with lenses that are ten-thousandths of an inch thick."

"I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen."

~~~

A perfectionist is one who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.

~~~

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I’d gotten the know you sooner!"

~~~

Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandpa, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

~~~

Volunteers do not necessarily have the time; they just have the heart.

Elizabeth Andrew

~~~

Miss Smith and Little Johnny’s father were having a parent teacher conference.

Miss Smith said to Little Johnny’s father, "Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son."

Little Johnny’s father asked, "What’s that?"

"With grades like these, he couldn’t possibly be cheating."

~~~

I’ve seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives.

Tracy Chapman

~~~

Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman’s, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?"

"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman.

"Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein’s Bargain Store downtown!"

"But Madam," said the salesman, "You’ll find that the dress at Klein’s is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool."

"Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the lambs do at night?"

~~~

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

~~~

A wife and her husband attended a very important business party thrown by her boss, where the husband may have had one or two more than he should have. On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and totally irresistible to all women you are?"

"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.

"Then what gave you the idea you are at the party?" she yelled.

~~~

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world.

For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.

MARGARET MEAD

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Has anyone seen me today?

 

There’s lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it.

Josh Billings

 

 

 

Has anyone seen me today? I have been so busy with meetings, Doctor and x-ray appointments I have not been able to catch up with myself and I have no reason to believe I’ll find me later. Since I don’t want to take the risk of missing another daily I am sending you this one instead and including an update.

 

Ray’s Daily April 14, 2004

I had a great day yesterday. My CPAP (continuous positive air pressure) machine kept me from stopping breathing through the night, so my Sleep Apnea was not a problem. My Pacemaker and my two heart medicines kept my heart in rhythm. My Thyroid medicine has my Thyroid nearly normal. My blood pressure medicine kept my blood pressure at acceptable levels. My lung pills kept my lungs clear. I am so lucky to have such good health, or at least the wherewithal to be able to acquire and pay for what it takes to get it. I pity all those who are without healthcare or who do not have the means to buy what they need to sustain a decent lifestyle. Sure my medications are costly, and sure I wish they cost less, but at least I have them, the alternative would be catastrophic.

Fortunately my two heart operations and curative successes have resulted in my heart staying in rhythm most of the time allowing me to give up some of my nastier medications. I also have overcome my thyroid problems. The way things are going I’ll be so healthy in a few years that I’ll be able to do some amazing things. April 2009

~~~

If I had my way I’d make health catching instead of disease.

Robert Ingersoll

~~~

Jane says that there are 7 degrees of blondeness

1st Degree:

A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning. The wife undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment, and said, "How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don’t know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear’."

2nd Degree:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it’s me!"

3rd Degree:

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you’re next!"

4th Degree:

A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that’s easy -‘W’."

5th Degree:

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

6th Degree:

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch. "Wow!" the trooper gasped.

"Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma’am?" "Why, yes, officer, I’m just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was…." "Uh, ma’am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."

7th Degree:

Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

I don’t know if Jane is a blond these days or not, I would guess not. Ray

~~~

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation…  As you grow older, it will avoid you.

~~~

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you’re 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

~~~

I think the nice thing about being senile is I can hide my own Easter eggs.

~~~

Walter and Maury were good friends and neighbors. Walter was Christian, Maury was Jewish, but they liked and respected each other very much.  (Which is as it should be.)  The neighborhood in which they were next door neighbors included many Jewish and Christian families.

One day, Maury and Walter were both trimming their yards.  Walter called over the yard to Maury, "Hey, Maury!  Why do you and so many of our Jewish friends often answer a question with a question?"

Maury replied, "Why shouldn’t we?"

~~~

If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.

~~~

Timmy was roughhousing with his dog.

His mother said to him, "Now, Timmy, I know you love Grover, but you’re loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn’t breathe?"

The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I’d feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Donna was here!"

~~~

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman:     "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

~~~

Can you believe that this came from Wendy?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Thought you’d might like to see what happened to me last week.

I went downtown the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It’s important at my age.

~~~

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty.  Empty what’s full.  Scratch where it itches.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

~~~

 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Please join me if you can

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses.

Allophones Karr

 

 

 

I have a couple of opportunities to share with you before we get started today. I hope you don’t mind but every once in awhile a reader will ask if there is someway they can help with something I have going on; well today there is.

First, if you live in Central Indiana and would like to join me on Saturday May 9th, I think you’ll be glad you did. For on that day many of my friends and I will be at the Special Olympics games handling the awards ceremony and we sure could use your help. If you think you might be interested drop me a note at ray@iquest.net and I’ll tell you more about it.

Second you can help my Kiwanis Club support our participation in the annual Cystic Fibrosis walk by making a sponsorship donation at http://www.cff.org/great_strides/NorthwestKiwanisIndianapolis. Even a modest donation will be appreciated.

 

This is the first time I have ever included an opportunity for us to do some good together in the Daily, I hope you don’t mind.

~~~

I was with a friend the other day talking about happiness and we ended up thinking that too often we seem to feel we must be gloriously happy for if we are not then something must be missing. In reality we get to chose to place value on even modest happiness by appreciating even the little things and we don’t really need it all to find enjoyment. The ever smart Gretchen Rubin shared some of her happiness tips with her readers recently and I liked what she said enough to think it is worth sharing with you. Here is what she wrote:

These aren’t necessarily the most essential tips for being happy — I tried to include strategies that might not otherwise occur to people. So, for example, "helping other people" isn’t listed, even though it’s one of the best ways of boosting your happiness.

1. Don’t start with profundities.

When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger.

I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it.

Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.

Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.” Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness.

Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness bang for the buck.

7. Don’t insist on the best.

There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy.

I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook

9. Stop nagging.

I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments? I found it hard to give up nagging—in fact, I came up with 19 strategies to try to cure myself of the nagging habit.

10. Take action.

Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.

~~~

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us daily. ”

Sally Koch,

~~~

She said: When my daughter was about 10-years-old, I became pregnant. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened, so I gave her what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process.

She asked, "Did you do that to get me?"

I said yes and she responded, "And you did it a second time?"

~~~

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

~~~

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was no where in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory"! I preached, and I preached, like I’d never preached before from Genesis all the way to Revelations. I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain’t never seen anything like that before And I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

~~~

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

~~~

He said: When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was "comfortable underwear."

Worried I’d make the wrong choice, I asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?"

"Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered. "If you smile, put them back."

~~~

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life,

that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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