Ray's musings and humor

The plays the thing

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.”

Oscar Wilde quotes




Last Saturday evening I attended the final performance of a long time performing arts series that has always been a favorite of mine. The Indianapolis newspaper did interview me and allowed me to express my regrets at the loss of something that I felt was a community asset. I am hopeful that it will return one day.

The final offering was a concert by Grammy award winners Riders in the Sky who has been performing together for more than thirty years. I had seen them a few years ago when they appeared in an Indianapolis Symphony Pops concert and while their musical style is something I normally pass up I enjoy these guys since they are so much fun to watch.

It was obvious to me as I watched and overheard my fellow theatre goers, that our individual capacity to be entertained varies widely. I listened to those who knew in advance that they would not like what they saw, others who seemed to say “OK I’m here now dazzle me” and still others who are big fans and knew they would love the show. In my case I honestly feel that I am open to be entertained by most things I see. I might not be overwhelmed by the show but seldom do I regret my attendance. You see I look to the experience as a moment away from the norm, a chance to appreciate the effort someone puts into trying to please us and more often than not I end up broadening my appreciation of the theatre arts.

Best of all when I go expecting to be entertained without it always being a spectacular event I am seldom disappointed. My theatrical adventures are just like most everything else, there is much to be seen and enjoy if we are only willing to look and let what we see into our lives.

In a similar vein today was a rainy day in my town and some felt it was miserable while I was grateful that our spring flowers were being watered, our roads were cleaned and the dust around us washed away. My life is good I wish others would see that theirs can be as well.


From the start it has been the theatre’s business to entertain people … it needs no other passport than fun.



An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I’m not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like ‘Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!


People are lonely, because they build walls instead of bridges.


Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn’t there if he can buy her a drink.

The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine’s Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"

The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."

The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know –she might say yes."

The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right — how likely is THAT to happen?"


My psychiatrist says I’m manic-depressive ……I have mixed feelings about that.


A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years."

"Amazing," said the counselor. "How did you do it?"

"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward."


The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.

William James


We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.

"This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West


He said: When I was a kid, my dad and I had a running joke. If anyone asked what he did for a living, I always said, "He’s a sports mechanic. He fixes boxing matches and horse races."

Once I answered a teacher this way. She flipped out and summoned my parents. Dad calmed her down by explaining it was a joke.

"So, what do you do?" she asked.

Dad, a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company said, "I sell drugs."


A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

William A. Ward


A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "Will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city."

"Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."


The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.


A Civil War soldier, who had lost his bayonet, whittled one from wood so that he could pass inspection. He hoped he would not be discovered until the regiment had gone into battle, where he planned to pick one up from a dead soldier.

At inspection, an officer asked to see his bayonet. The soldier stated, "Sir, I promised my father I would not unsheathe my bayonet unless I intended to kill someone with it."

The Officer insisted that the soldier hand over the bayonet.

Taking it out, the soldier looked skyward and said, "May the Lord change my bayonet to wood for breaking my vow."


Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.


He said:

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last.

She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."


“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

Mary Anne Radmacher


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.


Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.


This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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