Ray's musings and humor

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

 

 

Even though I could find reasons to complain about our losses from the economic meltdown and our having to back off of some of our travel plans, I do realize I am way better off than most of the folks in the world. This morning I took a little time to review my weekend schedule and it again reminded me that my life is filled with easily overlooked good things. I started off the morning meeting an former colleague and we spent our time not only reminiscing but also planning how we can do some good while enjoying the days ahead. Later today my gymnastic granddaughter is having reconstructive surgery for torn cartilage that will result in her ending her national competitive season since they are estimating five months of rehab. I think I have told you before that she is one of my heroes and I expect that she will take this as she takes most things, it is over and she will do what is necessary with grace and good humor. I know I’ll end the day happy that it was spent with people I care about.

Tomorrow I am having breakfast with a favorite friend who holds a key staff position in our state legislature and I’ll learn more about the major issues being debated by our representatives as our state struggles with staggering unemployment and business losses. Right after that I will be meeting with a fellow Kiwanis member to plan our volunteer outreach for our role in our area Special Olympics competition that will be held in May. The day will be topped off by a visit to the grand opening of a new delicatessen that will donate all the day’s profits to my friend’s pediatric oncology Bags of Fun program. All in all the day will have been one of my best as I’ll be with friends and hopefully are efforts will do some good for others.

Finally Sunday where the highlight will be a long breakfast with one of the truly good hearted people I am fortunate to know. This friend does not want to sit around and talk about what the world needs or about doing something someday, she is right now looking to join an interfaith trip to the Middle East, not to tour but rather to work helping to improve the lives of some who have been caught in the current strife.

So my friends instead of stopping to wallow in my losses I will have the ability to celebrate the opportunities I have been given for both good fellowship and meaningful activity and that is good.

Ralph Marston recently challenged us to walk away from living in the past or fantasizing about the future and to spend time taking advantage of what today has to offer. Here is what he said:

Enjoy life as it comes, in the precious moments of each day. Live your success and fulfillment here and now, not in some distant, imagined future. Do not set yourself up as a hostage to your circumstances or your inventory of possessions. Choose right now to live richly and fully no matter what.

Make joyful and thankful use of whatever you have, wherever you are. There is so very much you have going for you. Pay no attention to those who scream that you must have this thing or that experience in order to be happy. Ignore them, and simply choose to be happy by creating your own interpretation of happiness all around you.

Keep in mind that most of the people who tell you how bad things are, seek to gain their own power or profit from your dismay. Life is good, life is rich, life is joyful and fulfilling to the extent you choose to make it so.

Open your eyes, look around, and see how truly beautiful your world can be. Real success is yours the moment you begin to make it.

~~~

Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.  I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl.  Let him come out as I do, and bark.

Samuel Johnson

~~~

With all the new technology regarding fertility, A 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one asked. "Not yet," said the 65 year-old mother, "Soon." Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?" "Not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?" "No," replied the mother. Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?" "WHEN IT CRIES," she told them. "WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??" "BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it…"

~~~

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu."  The headwaiter said, "Don’t I know you?"

Steven Wright

~~~

She said: Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped.

Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men’s room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by.

"Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?"

"Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."

~~~

Boycott shampoo…  Demand REAL poo!

~~~

The Jackson police were searching for a man they suspected of a string of burglaries.  They had six photographs of the man, all taken in different locations and from different angles.  They sent fax copies of these pictures to police departments all over the country.

Several days later, Jackson received a fax report from the police chief in a small town in West Va. The memo read, "We immediately went to work on those six pictures you sent. We’ve arrested five of the suspects, and we have the sixth under observation right now."

~~~

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway

~~~

Ron was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends were already married while Ron just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, "What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Ron replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them. So I keep on looking!"

"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don’t you find a girl who’s just like your dear ole Mother?"

Many weeks passed before Ron and his friend crossed paths again.

"So Ron. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that’s just like your Mother?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends."

"Excellent!!! So… Are you and this girl engaged yet?"

"I’m afraid not," Ron replied, "My Father can’t stand her!"

~~~

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure

~~~

My co-worker is foreign and has trouble understanding some English phrases.  She is a top sales executive in our company and is known for being very competitive.  One day she was talking with a couple of employees, complaining about her job and how she felt mistreated. "Oh, be quiet," said a colleague.  "You know you’re queen bee at the office."

"Oh, really?" she replied indignantly.  "And who is Queen A?"

~~~

Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.

Arthur Christopher Benson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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