Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2008

Wish Her Well

It’s a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.

J.K. Rowling, "The Hungarian Horntail," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000

 

 

I spent a neat hour or so with a new college friend the other day. She soon will be off spending her last semester as an undergraduate in Asia. She has worked hard for years, is an outstanding student as well as an accomplished leader having excelled in sports and as an officer in many organizations. She is smart, vivacious and has a great personality. Unfortunately she is also carrying the weight of planning her future on her shoulders. She, like too many other students, is burdened with student loans and societies definition of accomplishment. She has never really stoped to take a breather from her investment in excellence.

My friend definitely wants to go to graduate school but she is not sure what she really wants to do after that. She is so busy being outstanding that I fear she has not had enough time to be herself. She reminds me of so many of us who are always so busy doing what must be done to meet a deadline or to complete an activity that we don’t give take time to stop and invest in ourselves.

My fantasy is that this bright young student will take the pressure off herself and stop, maybe even for a semester or two, in order to sit along life’s road and learn what her heart is telling her. I am hoping that she invests in a path that will lead to happiness and not just income and title. I would not be so presumptuous to think that I have the answers but I pray that she finds the road that is best for her without being distracted by the need to become what others think she should be.

As I thought about my young friend I thought about how so many of us fill our days with what seems important that really isn’t. Here is what the fabulous Gretchen Rubin posted recently that reminded me again that many things I do are really not worth the time.

Tips for what you DON’T have to do and what you DO have to do. Don’t confuse what you must do with what you choose to do. For example:

You don’t have to carry around a bottle of water.

You don’t have to finish a magazine before you throw it away.

You don’t have to dress to express your individuality.

You don’t have to drink wine with dinner.

You don’t have to carry a wallet.

You don’t have to watch reality TV.

You don’t have to take a shower every day.

You don’t have to check your email every minute.

You don’t have to get a manicure.

You don’t have to answer your phone.

You don’t have to use hair conditioner.

You don’t have to send out holiday cards.

You don’t have to read or watch crime reports.

You don’t have to keep up with sports news or celebrity gossip.

You don’t have to have house plants.

You don’t have to wear uncomfortable shoes.

You do have to keep some cash around at all times.

You do have to call when you’re going to be late.

You do have to remember the birthdays of your immediate family.

You do have to back up your computer files.

You do have to exercise regularly.

You do have to keep a cache of toilet paper in the house.

You do have to keep your phone charged.

You do have to keep a spare key.

~~~

Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

Carl Sandburg

~~~

A lady lost her purse in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward."

~~~

Remember, once you get over the hill, you’ll begin to pick up speed.

~~~

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don’t know," Sid replied. "Why don’t we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don’t know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.

He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"

~~~

To err is human—to blame it on a computer is even more so.

~~~

She says that:

"Hey Marco! Is it true you have a new girlfriend?" I quizzed.

"Yeah, it’s true" he mumbled.

"Hey, what’s the matter?"  I asked.

"Well, it’s my new girlfriend," he said.

"Oh yeah?  What’s the problem?"

"Well I asked her if she could learn to love me," he replied.

"Yeah…and?" I pried further. "and she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

~~~

Find out what you don’t do well and don’t do it.

~~~

The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail.

"What’s the charge?  Mr. Schwarz demanded.

"None," replied the officer.  "It’s all part of the service."

~~~

"Whether it’s the best of times, or the worst of times, it’s the only time you’ve got."

Art Buchwald

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

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Farewell

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

 

 

It has not been an easy week. It is not so much that I have been busy or that 40% of my life savings seems to be hidden somewhere on Wall Street. No it is the fact that I lost an old friend and a good friends wife passed away after a long illness.

My one friend died peacefully in his sleep. While he was in his mid seventies I no longer consider that old age so when it happened I was taken aback. When I read my friends obituary today I learned that he had done many more things than I knew he had. I hadn’t seen him for sometime but he use to be a fellow member of my Kiwanis Club and I had plenty of opportunity to get to know him better but now it is too late. I am sure he had many stories he could have shared and experiences that I would have enjoyed hearing about. I know a year ago or so I wrote about how much we miss by not stopping and taking the time to know more about the people we meet, especially those that we see often. Unfortunately too often I am guilty of taking too many people for granted and gloss over my failure by rationalizing not learning more because I am too busy. That is a sad mistake for I know that some of the best things in my life is the bond that I have built with others by just stopping and caring.

 

My friend’s wife suffered a long illness before finally finding peace. She was a gracious lady always quick to smile whenever we met. She told me once in awhile that she enjoyed our Daily and that always pleased me for it was written for her and my other friends. What saddens me most is that this kind and caring person had to carry so much pain and agony for so long. I have never been very good at sharing my feelings with those that have just lost a loved one; certainly it would be presumptuous of me to tell them I know how they feel. Still I always feel a hurt and a feeling of helplessness when I know some one is in pain or that someone is gone forever leaving only memories and far too often words I never said that were never heard.

~~~

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~~~

I think both of these departed friends would be disappointed in me if I did not add our usual attempt at humor so for them I offer today’s daily.

~~~

"The greatest mistake you can make is to be afraid of making one."

~~ Elbert Hubbard ~~

~~~

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said "My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to hell." This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said "I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven." Another one said "No, I did this bad thing, I won’t make it." So, then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn’t saying anything. And they looked at her and said "You’re such a nice lady, surely you’re going to Heaven…?"

She says "No, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to hell!" They were shocked and asked why. "Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?"

~~~

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

~~~

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah…" the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"

~~~

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."

~~~

When a three-year-old opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

His Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, "I’m surprised at you.

Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Grandmom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

~~~

Eschew obfuscation.

~~~

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath. "You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

~~~

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

~~~

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, ‘OK, lets get out and get him.’

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, ‘The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?’

The guy in the front says, ‘Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself!’

~~~

A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

~~~

To help a friend lose weight, I told her she should switch to lower fat foods, including skim milk.

When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite awhile, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

"Sure, it’s fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired six months ago!"

~~~

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Lucky?

“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”

Richard Moss

 

 

My life has really been full so far this week. New friends, new opportunities for service, a number of new things learned and a shortage of hours in the day and today is going on to be more of the same. What I am about to do is rummage through some old Dailies to see if I Can find some pearls of wisdom that I have forgotten. I’ll share what I find as I am hoping whatever it is will be better than what I might create today. So here goes, wish us luck.

~~~

I had the good fortune to hear an old acquaintance speak about luck at a meeting I attended this morning. He made many points about how we can improve our luck. His point that struck me the most was — pay attention and you might become lucky enough to recognize opportunity when you see it.

I could especially relate to how we are often so committed to what we want to say to someone that we look for the opportunity to interrupt and say what we want him to hear, too busy too even hear what is being said to us. While hopefully none of us drop out quite that far I would suspect too many of us are so concerned about our ability to impress or sell that we miss hearing something that would bring us together. Is it really luck that some find success more often than others or is it due in part to the winners paying attention? In my case I have found feeding back to the speaker my understanding of what they said does three things:

1.         The speaker can correct me if I got what was said wrong.

2.         If I often miss what is being said I can work to become more attentive.

3.         And probably most important of all when we agree on what was said we can move forward together to what might be unsaid otherwise.

Another of his points was to get out of our ruts. We can drive home via a different route on occasion, we can do things we have never done before and understand the value of keeping our mind open to alternatives. We will never break new ground if we never move out of our comfort zone. And I would add, don’t hibernate. Too many of us get so comfortable in the status quo that the world passes us by without our even noticing. When that happens, more often than not, we wonder why others are so much luckier than we are.

His last lesson was telling us not to get hung up on fairness. While we should always be fair we need to understand that the world often isn’t. Too many of us waste time complaining about our bad luck that was the result of being treated unfairly. We can spend time agonizing about it or even striking out, but while we are the “lucky” ones will have picked themselves up brushed themselves off and moved on. Bottom line, if you want to be lucky you can be, if you want an excuse for failure you can chalk it up to bad luck, but trust me few will lend a sympathetic ear.

2003

~~~

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Seneca

~~~

Andy Rooney’s tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please…"

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

~~~

The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

~~~

Speaking of luck, she said: I was shopping with my husband at a local supermarket and suddenly couldn’t find him. "I’ve lost my husband!" I muttered slightly louder than was necessary.

Then I heard a woman’s voice from the next aisle: "Some people have all the luck."

~~~

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands

~~~

He said: A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog’s head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup’s head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn’t know they had to be baptized."

~~~

You know you’re growing older when … You begin to realize that your parents were right, after all!

~~~

I’m in a hurry today. I have to answer the email I got from Mrs. Moobooro Nambito, who is the wife of a prominent politician in some African country. She just so happens to need help funneling tens of millions of dollars that her husband gave her to hide–right before the populace tore him to shreds because he stole all their money and resources.  

Anyway, she needs help embezzling the funds to the States and is willing to pay handsomely anyone who lets her use their bank account. This is going to be the easiest money I ever made!  

~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~

The other day, I had to make a call to the telephone company. Something was wrong with my bill. I dialed the number listed, and was astonished. I got the strangest recording. It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

~~~

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

R.E. Shay

~~~

When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a Prague ophthalmologist. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ.  

"Can you read that?" the doctor asked.  

"Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister."  

~~~

Luck is when opportunity knocks and you answer.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

A reader responds

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”

 

 

As I have often said in the past I get great comfort from the fact that we are all connected. It is especially so when I hear from one of our readers. Yesterday was especially meaningful for I got a response from a reader who I have never met, but thankfully he was willing to share and sent me a moving message. He had just read the Daily from a few days ago where I suggested that, “It is how we handle the challenges we face in life that determine to a large extent how well we will enjoy the years we have left”. Here is what he sent.

 

My son, in planning his funeral service, chose Garth Brooks, "The Dance", as the music to be played during family visiting and to be featured at the remembrance service. Though the quantity of his days were limited by AIDS the quality was 24 caret.

As ‘The Dance’ relates to the theme of your daily rant my days are filled with seeking ways to express my view of the meaning of life. Having enjoyed your writing for some time now I would like to share a sample of my writing.

 

He then aded a moving piece that he had written for his church bulletin. Unfortunately it is too long to add to the Daily since I would have to break my promise to hold each issue to just a couple of pages. His story reported on the result of personal prayer and how it resulted in an experience that became the foundation of his faith.

I have never met Jerry nor do I even know how he found the Daily but I am glad he did and I hope we will continue to be connected for he sounds like a man who takes what ever life offers and handles it with grace.

~~~

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

Margaret Young

~~~

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn’t budge.

The usher became impatient.  "Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.  The two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.  Finally, they summoned the police.  The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked," All right buddy, what’s your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned "Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

~~~

My mother loved children—she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

~~~

"What’s the usual tip?" a man growled when, Jason, a college boy delivered his pizza.

"Well," Jason replied, "this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great."

"Is that so?" grunted the man. "In that case, here’s five dollars."

"Thanks," Jason said, "I’ll put it in my college fund."

"By the way, what are you studying?"  questioned the man.

Jason replied, "Reverse psychology…"

~~~

"A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable."

Billy Graham

~~~

A golfer who was well into his golden years had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California, the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that juts out off the coast.

It was something he had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball always fell short, into the water. Because of this he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick.

One year he went out to Pebble Beach to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old cut ball and said a silent prayer. Before he hit it, however, a powerful voice from above said: WAIT … REPLACE THAT OLD BALL WITH A BRAND-NEW BALL. He complied, with  some slight misgiving, despite the fact that the Lord seemed to be implying that He was going to let him finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: WAIT … STEP BACK … TAKE A PRACTICE SWING. So he stepped back and took a practice swing. The voice boomed out again: TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING. He did. Silence followed. Then the voice spoke out again: PUT BACK THE OLD BALL.

~~~

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don’t hate your relatives.  In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

~~~

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation.  The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong.  So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it."

The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That’s impossible! That can’t be!

"The Doctor says, "What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s NOT old age?"

The patient answers, "I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong.  Clearly you’re mistaken.  After all my other leg feels just fine."

"So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"

"Well it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the SAME AGE!"

~~~

"By the time we hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves."

Marie Dressler

~~~

"It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, ‘And this, too, shall pass away.’ How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Thanks, Kathy

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

I have another full day today and I was not sure what I would write for our Daily when my Friend Kathy decided for me. She sent me the following and I think it really deserves our consideration. You know, it is really worth our while to invest in ourselves whenever we can. Here is the gift she sent:

Tips for Better Life – 2008 ( it’s not to late)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows   and get more sleep .       

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’

5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to pray. It provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is it will change.

30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will, stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I’m thinking of ya!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

~~~

May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more;

May nothing but happiness come through your door!

~~~

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one that would be big enough for her family reunion.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma’am, they’re dead."

~~~

“There can be no defense like elaborate courtesy.”

Edward V. Lucas

~~~

A doctor said to his patient, "You have a slight heart condition, but I wouldn’t worry about it."

"Really, doc?" the patient replied. "Well, if you had a slight heart condition, I wouldn’t worry about it either."

~~~

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions

~~~

As an assistant professor, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would usually take a break around eight, however, to play the strategy game Warcraft online with a teammate. One night, I was paired with a veteran of the game who was a master strategist. With him at the helm, our troops crushed one opponent after another and after six games, we were undefeated. Suddenly, my fearless leader informed me his mom wanted him to go to bed.

"How old are you"? I typed.

"Twelve," he replied. "How old are you"?

Feeling my face redden, I answered, "Ten."

~~~

Cry if you want to, I won’t tell you not to, I won’t try to cheer you, I’ll just be here if you want me to be.

C. Porter

~~~

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.  

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn’t looked after it?"  

After a moment, her 5-year-old son replied quizzically, "Er…. Once?"  

~~~

Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law.

~~~

I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said, "Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to…"  

At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, "Moskowitz and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two Jews! Why do they have to be Jewish? Can’t you tell the joke with other nationalities involved? Why don’t you make them Chinese for a change?"  

The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Here’s the joke: One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang’s nephew…"  

~~~

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost;

When health is lost, something is lost;

When character is lost, all is lost!

German Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Enjoy the Race

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Henry David Thoreau

 

 

At a time when so many face big changes in their lives it becomes even more important that they deal with what comes without letting events take them down. It is how we handle the challenges we face in life that determine to a large extent how well we will enjoy the years we have left.

I spend a lot of time with people who have lost their jobs and sometimes even more. These good folks have to cope each day with slow progress, rejection, lack of income and more, it is never easy and yet most are able to sustain a positive outlook as they search for their next vocation.

All of us have and will face major changes and it is how well we adapt to reality that to a large extent determines how much we will get out of life. Sadly too many decide that happiness is dependent on then achieving some end rather than understanding that life is not either all good or all bad. We live in the journey not the destination. Each of our days is filled with small victories that we often overlook or take for granted. My unemployed friends are well served when they don’t feel they failed because they did not get the job today but rather that they did well as their day included laying another brick in the foundation they are building for their future.

When we are moving we are making progress it is only when we stop and stagnate that we plant the seeds of depression. The small wins we have daily are much more important to the quality of our lives than the medal that waits at the finish line and if the truth be known it is those who collect the small wins who get the gold at in the end.

When I sit down to write our daily it often a case of the chicken before the egg, today is no exception for it was as I was scanning my archives that I stumbled across this piece by Catherine Pulsifer. It got me thinking which resulted in today’s ramble.

 

Life is The Way It Is!

"Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is.

The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

Virginia Satir

How you cope with life is determined by your mental attitude. How you view any situation depends on your beliefs and your values.

How you cope with challenges can strengthen or weaken you. Some people have faced numerous challenges in their lives, yet maintained a positive outlook.

Reinforce your coping mechanisms by:

– viewing change as an opportunity, not as a threat,

– finding a positive benefit in your challenges,

– discussing the situation with a friend,

– taking action and not procrastinating,

– taking time to laugh, and above all,

– keeping things in perspective!

~~~

There is more to success than reaching goals. People have accumulated vast fortunes only to live their final years unfulfilled and spiritually poor. Success must also include a joyful appreciation of living — an authentic joy that pulls us toward the next episode of our life’s purpose.

Steve Brunkhorst

~~~

One day in third grade.

"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?" No one raises their hand. The teacher calls on Tommy and with some help, he finally gets it right.

"Who would like to do the second problem, subtraction?" Students hide their faces. She calls on Mark, who gets the problem, but there is some suspicion his girlfriend, Lisa, may have whispered the answer to him.

"Who would like to do the third problem, division?" A low, collective groan can be heard as everyone looks at nothing in particular. The teacher calls on Suzy, who struggles, but eventually gets it right.

"Who would like to do the last problem, multiplication?"

Johnny’s hand shoots up, surprising everyone in the room. The teacher finally gained her composure in the stunned silence. "Why the enthusiasm, Johnny?"

"The Bible says to go fourth and multiply!"

~~~

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.

Mark Twain

~~~

Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.

"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss. And the bartender offered to buy them for us."

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn’t you?"

"That’s right," he called back. "Two pints."

~~~

Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.

Grace Hansen  

~~~

SIGNS YOU’RE AT A WEDDING IN TENNESSEE

* The rehearsal dinner is held at Hooters.

* Instead of "friends of the bride or friends of the groom?", ushers ask "Ford or Chevy?"

* Bridesmaids wear pink tube tops and the groomsmen wear Travis Tritt t-shirts.

* Phrase "I Do" is replaced by "I Heard That!"

* Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song" is replaced by "Rocky Top" and performed by Boxcar Willie.

* When the minister asks, "Who Giveth This Woman To Be Married…" some guy in the back stands up and hollers "Earnhardt!"

* Reception conversation includes the phrase, "Been to Dollywood lately, Earl?"

* Snack trays and beverages at reception include vienna sausages (smoked, of course), nacho cheese Doritos and grandma’s own moonshine.

* Plans for the Honeymoon evening include tickets to the Monster Truck Show.

* The sign in front of the church reads: No Shirt…No Shoes…No Problem!

~~~

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

~~~

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

~~~

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

~~~

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."  

"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."  

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"  

"And I said be quiet! You’re going to jail!"  

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back."  

"Don’t count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I’m the groom."  

~~~

Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at — something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.

Whit Hobbs

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

Art was right!

The best things in life aren’t things.

Art Buchwald

 

 

I think I am really starting to change and understand some of the things we have discussed in the Daily recently. Yesterday I had lunch with a couple of people who I think get it. Together they started a movement to help people find alternatives to conflict and confrontation. They have built an idea into something that has caught on in our schools and community and today hundreds of our cities school children are being given the opportunity to find the joy that comes from anger management and peaceful resolution of problems. What I liked about our conversations was the enthusiasm they both bring to the appreciation of life and especially placing value on what we have. It was a good lunch and a good beginning for what I hope will be a continued opportunity for me to benefit from their wisdom.

After I got I home I sat down with the remains of a number of trees; those gift catalogs we get in the mail from everywhere and the advertisements that fill our daily paper. Anyway I saw this really neat deal on an SLR Digital Camera that included a spiffy extra telephoto lens at a good price and then I thought I have a cheaper SLR now, it takes pictures adequate to my needs and it is good enough. Another flier included some gangbuster prices on flat screen HD TV’s and then I realized that the TV’s I have now do the job since I should be more interested in the value of the broadcast content than on how pretty the display I understood that what I have is enough; I also began to understand that I don’t want to become so visual that I miss the subtleties that exist in listening to what is being said. Then I looked through the catalog of one of my favorite holiday bakers, those of you that know me personally know I love food so I salivated as read about a cake that I could get for only $39 plus shipping and handling and then I asked myself if I really needed this cake, I use to bake so why not make my own or at least provide my own shipping and handling and buy one from the great baker that has the small shop just a few miles away.

Yep, yesterday was good for me. I have been preaching about the value of appreciating the simpler things but I had not measured what I already have against my desire to just go out and buy new neat stuff.

Later I looked around and told my things I am not going to take you for granted anymore and I am going to stop and appreciate the fact that I have you and you do a pretty good job of making my life more than satisfactory. So if I end up wanting less and stop spending time chasing unnecessary toys I’ll have more time to spend with people like the guys I lunched with yesterday and it just does not get much better than that.

~~~

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.

Margaret Bonnano

~~~

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."

"Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I’m shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex."

In unison they all replied, "You win!"

~~~

There are two theories on how to successfully argue with a Jewish mother.

Unfortunately, neither works.

~~~

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors’ houses each month.

Of course the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren’t going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive." He said, "Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."

She said, "No, I don’t want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."

He then said, "I don’t think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced an diced them to get them ready go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol’ Spot’s (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.

Ol’ Spot didn’t slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.

After everyone had finished they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit.

About this time the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie’s ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."

With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "It’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there.

We will pump out everyone’s stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."

It wasn’t long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, I think everything will be fine now, and he left.

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol’ Spot never even stopped."

~~~

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

~~~

And the Churchgoer said:

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn’t belong.

If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has.

Every evening I turn my troubles over to God – He’s going to be up all night anyway.

~~~

Boxing great Jake LaMotta said of his old friend Gerry Cooney:  There’s nothing I won’t do for him, and there’s nothing he won’t do for me.  So we go through life doing nothing for each other.

~~~

There are some things I would never know if it wasn’t for Judy, for example she told me:

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra…

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always lifts you up

Makes you look better

And Always Close To Your Heart!!! 

~~~

There must be more to life than having everything.

Maurice Sendak

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.
 

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