Ray's musings and humor

 

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

 

 

I am beginning to hate the use of the word probably. My traditional definition of the word is “most likely” or something similar, in other words far from “it won’t happen”. Unfortunately I find too many define it as “Highly Unlikely” or even “It will never happen.” Sadly I think for far more than it should it is a reflection of peoples waning self confidence. I am afraid that these folks find that they can use probably as their rationale for inaction. You’ll hear them say things like “He probably wouldn’t see me if I asked”, “I probably couldn’t do it if I tried”, “it would probably be only a waste of time” or some other probably phrase that excuses their inaction.

I suggest that whenever we start to fall into the probably trap that we ask ourselves what we are really saying. Am I really saying I give up and I just don’t want to try anymore, or might it be I just don’t feel up to it right now, or maybe it’s, I flat don’t want to do it now or ever. So often we semi-commit to doing things because we think we should but really don’t want to do whatever it is. If that is the case be honest with yourself and just don’t say you’ll do it or that’ll you’ll try to do it, just tell yourself and others that your not going to and move on.

But if it is in your best interest to do something then try and do it. I can promise you one thing you are bound to be right about it probably not happening if you never try and find out. I know in my case I have often been surprised and things did work when I was sure the chances were slim. And even when they didn’t work out I really lost nothing by trying.

~~~

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,

"I will try again tomorrow.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD – Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it goes…

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry…

BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack…

BUT FIRST I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops… there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook…

BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away…

BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and…

Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants…BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control… And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because… I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious… I’d get help…

BUT FIRST… I think I’ll check my e-mail.

~~~

An error doesn’t become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.

~~~

She said: Waiting for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around in our leotards chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight all at the same time.

Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, "What did he start doing instead of these things?"

After a slight pause, she smiled and said, "Well, my sister is pregnant now."

~~~

Last night I dreamt I had insomnia.

~~~

A wholesale dealer who had a lot of trouble getting a certain retailer to pay his bills finally lost patience and wrote the merchant a threatening letter.

He received the following reply:

"Dear Sir: What do you mean by writing me a letter like that? Every month, I place all my bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don’t like my way of doing business, I won’t even put your bills in the hat!"

~~~

When you take a risk and step out of the norm, you run the risk and sometimes you fail.

But you only fail if you give up.

J. Peterman

~~~

Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room.

The first pastor said, "Let’s confess our secret sins one to another.

I’ll start – my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."

The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors."

The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can’t wait to get out of this room!"

~~~

The road to success is marked with many tempting parking spaces.

~~~

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30.

One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom – only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"

~~~

Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

A West Virginia couple, both genuine rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

~~~

I wouldn’t touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.

~~~

No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. "Find a girl just like your mother — then, she’s bound to like her." So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:

"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like my mother; and just as you said, my mother liked her".

"So," asked the friend, "what happened?"

"Nothing," said the young man. "My father hates her."

~~~

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.”

Stephen Kaggwa

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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