Ray's musings and humor

I plead guilty

“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities,

but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.”

Josiah Charles Stamp

 

 

Yesterday I told you about my always being early and how one of the benefits was that others never had to wait for me. As often happens I should not have said anything. Today I had a meeting scheduled for 9:30 AM and as usual showed up more than a half-hour early. I read some and wrote a little, at about 9:30 I began to wonder about my usually prompt friend. I don’t know why but I glanced at my Palm Pilot to make sure I had nothing else to do later in the day and discovered that I was miles away from where we were supposed to meet. Yep, I went to the wrong place, of course I was semi-mortified for while I can tolerate my failings I have no right to expect others to do so as well.

So of course I gathered up my stuff drove at borderline legal speeds and arrived 15 minutes late for my meeting. Fortunately my friend knows me well enough not to expect too much so I was forgiven. Because of this I want to give you a special warning, don’t put too much stock in today’s daily as the chances are that I got something wrong.

Random Thoughts from Ray’s Notebook

If a politician told us the truth by telling us we cannot have our cake and eat it too would he or she have any chance of getting elected to anything these days? What if he said we must stop shifting the costs of what we get through borrowing from other nations and from future generations? What if she said we had to pay for what we buy and that we can’t increase healthcare benefits, pay down the 10 trillion dollar national debt, meet our social security and Medicare obligations with out raising taxes or cutting benefits? What if they did all that, do you think they would have any chance of getting elected?

It seems to me that the high cost of fuel, food and other commodities are due in large part to the devalued dollar which is the result of our lopsided balance of trade account and our huge federal deficit. We don’t like losing jobs to other nations but we love buying their low cost products. We don’t like high cost energy prices but we have driven more and more gas guzzlers as the years have gone by.

If we only elect people who pander to our desires to get more while paying less just who is responsible for the problems we face to day, it can’t be the politicians if they are just doing what we ask. You got it, if they are not guilty then it must be us for in the end we the people must take responsibility for the decisions we make via the ballot box.

~~~

“Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.”

Alfred A. Montapert

~~~

Copied from Ray’s Daily June 5th, 2002

Well believe it or not it is National Pest Control Month in the U.S. I hope it works and that all of us are not bothered by those who normally pester us!

~~~

For every 60 seconds of anger, you lose one minute of happiness.

~~~

Many of us are dependent on our 401K’s to supplement our retirement income and ensure that our golden years are truly golden. At the same time it is important that we understand the market and know as much as possible about our investments. As a special service to our readers I have included this educational piece that includes key investment definitions.

Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market – A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E Ratio-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the Market keeps crashing.

Broker – Poorer than we were in 1999.

"Buy, Buy" – A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

Standard & Poor – Our life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded our stock.

Stock Split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Financial Planner – A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement our money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Call Option – Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

Day Trader – Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.

Cisco – Sidekick of Pancho.

Yahoo – What we yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Windows 2000 – What we jump out of when we’re the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates – Where God goes for a loan.

Alan Greenspan – God

~~~

The best auto safety device is a rearview mirror with a police car in it.

~~~

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it’s just awful!  I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it’s the one you gave me. But it just didn’t come out right, and I’m so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf.  What could have gone wrong?"

Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let’s go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we’ll figure it out."

"OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ‘ Take fifty cents worth of ground beef ‘…"

~~~

Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them.

ADLAI E. STEVENSON, JR.

~~~

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special ‘No Excuse Sunday.’

1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,’Sunday is my only day to sleep in.’

2. They will have steel helmets for those who say, ‘The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.’

3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.

4. There will be hearing aids for those who say, ‘The pastor speaks too softly,’ and cotton for those who say, ‘He preaches too loudly.’

5 Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

6. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

7. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner too.

8. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for those who like to golf on Sunday.

So, now you’ll have no excuse for not attending church this coming Sunday.

~~~

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it."

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.

"We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free."

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room.  He stood with his hands on

his hips and said. . . .

"I’m not free. I’m four."

~~~

“To attain happiness in another world we need only to believe something,

while to secure it in this world we must do something.”

C.P. Gilman

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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