Ray's musings and humor

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Charles Caleb Colton

 

 

  • US total personal debt exceeds personal income.
  • Gas tops $4 a gallon.
  • Dollar falls to new low against the Euro and other currencies.
  • Presidential candidates promise universal health care.
  • The U.S. total debit nears 10 trillion dollars with annual debt service nearing a half trillion dollars per year.
  • The U.S. health system has the highest infant mortality rate of the developed nations and an overall population health status that lags that of most developed nations while medical costs continue to rise.
  • Food shortages abound, food prices rise while huge agricultural subsidies add to producer profits.

But not to worry, candidates promise additional tax cuts while promising expanded support of social programs, trade barriers, infrastructure repairs, student subsidies, health care for all, a chicken in every pot, cleaner air, dancing in the streets, forgiveness of our debts, more fun – less responsibility, and a deaf ear to the needs of future generations.

I understand that many in the public are pleased that we are going to put our troubles under the pillow so the good fairy can come in the night and replace them with goodies. So don’t listen to anyone who wants to talk about debt reduction, paying for what we get or the need to improve universal education and health care, all they are trying to do is scare us. By the way notwithstanding what they are saying prices are nothing to worry about in fact just today I was able to buy the Brooklyn Bridge at a very reasonable price. And to prove what I mean I just got a call from a New York friend who jumped off the Empire State building, he was passing the 75th floor on his way down; he told me everything was fine so far.

So forget the facts, don’t worry about the slide — just keep electing those who buy our votes by borrowing to give us more than we deserve knowing that we don’t have to worry for we will be gone when our kids have to dig the country out of bankruptcy.

~~~

“Debt is the slavery of the free”

Publilius Syrus

~~~

COMPUTER PROVERBS  

* Home is where you hang your @.  

* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.  

* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.  

* You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.  

* C: is the root of all directories.  

* Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.  

* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.  

* The modem is the message.  

* Too many clicks spoil the browse.  

* The geek shall inherit the earth.  

* A chat has nine lives.  

* Don’t byte off more than you can view.  

* Fax is stranger than fiction.  

* What boots up must come down.  

* Windows will never cease.  

* Virtual reality is its own reward.  

* Modulation in all things.  

* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.  

* Know what to expect before you connect.  

* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.   

* Speed thrills.  

~~~

It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at the end.

~~~

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. "Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out, "Cross!" Immediately the congregation started singing, in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."

The pastor hollered out, "Grace!" The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound…"

The pastor said, "Power." The congregation sang "There Is Power in the Blood."

The Pastor said, "Sex." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock.

They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "Precious Memories."

~~~

Wife to bill-paying husband:  "I slashed expenses last month. 

Everything was charged on one credit card so that it will cost only one stamp to pay all of our bills."

~~~

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn’t like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn’t have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, "I’m very sorry Sam, but we didn’t come out to buy you a toy."

Sam angrily said, "I’ve never met a woman as mean as you."

Holding his hand gently, she replied, "Sam, darling, one day you’ll get married and then you will … you really will, I promise you."

~~~

After the funeral the Rabbi said, "I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband Morris."

The widow replied, "So who’s looking for one?"

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, "I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex."

~~~

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

~~~

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer.  "Look at it this way." he said finally.  "How would your wife carry on if you should die?"

"Well…" drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don’t reckon that’d be any concern of mine — long as she behaves herself while I’m alive."

~~~

Debt is the fatal disease of republics, the first thing and the mightiest to undermine governments and corrupt the people.

Wendell Phillips

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

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