Ray's musings and humor

I’m glad I went!

“Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart,

But somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.”

Kay Knudsen

 

 

Hi everybody, I made it back. My trip to North Carolina was another of those good news, bad news, events.

I had a super visit with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, their daughter, grand-daughter and great grandson. Just seeing them and reminiscing about the past was rewarding and I was glad we had the chance to see them. What was disappointing was that their health problems has resulted in their cancelling going with us on our New Year’s cruise. For years they have sailed with us and made our trips more enjoyable and now age and infirmity has taken its toll. That notwithstanding I have so many fond memories of our times together that I will be able to relive them again and again.

Some great news was my granddaughter’s winning the All Around Gymnastics State Championship. She continues to move up nationally and is a candidate for the Midwest Gymnastics team that will compete in the national championships later this year. She is an inspiration, she works hard, practicing for hour’s everyday, she is always smiling and does great in school, and has many friends. I hope to be like her when I grow up.

I spent the morning with an old friend and we had a good time both looking back and looking forward as she begins a new career. Our conversation drifted back to a comment a mutual friend made to me many years ago. He said “Ray, you see things other people don’t see,” I always thought that was a compliment, today was the first time I wondered if he meant I was hallucinating.

As my friend and I revisited the past some of the memories were justifiably painful. As you know it is not easy being open about our pain and our frailties but I have found it is better to let them out and share them than to keep them bottled up inside where they continue to hurt. When I thought about our conversation I remembered an article I saved by Ralph Marston about our ability to feel. Here is what he wrote:

 

“Sometimes your feelings can hurt profoundly. Yet wouldn’t you rather have those painful feelings occasionally than never having any feelings at all?

Your feelings let you know you’re alive. They tell you, in ways that words cannot, who you are.

Through your feelings, you discover what means the most to you. With your feelings, you’re able to build rich, rewarding relationships.

Feelings can indeed be messy and inconvenient, yet they’re certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Without feelings, life would be terribly flat and empty.

When a feeling seems to be uncomfortable or even unbearable, choose to dive more deeply into it. Somewhere in there you’ll find something very positive, comforting and affirming.

You feel because you are, and you feel because you care. Those are things about which you can genuinely feel great.”

~~~

“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.”

~~~

Two guys in a bar…

One says "Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!"

"Wooo, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn’t brake properly and boom – He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof – Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn’t kill him at all. So, he’s landed in my upstairs bedroom and he’s all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He’s just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that’s terrible!"

"No no, that didn’t kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn’t kill him, he even survived that. So he’s on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He’s lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn’t mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he …"

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."

~~~

Never argue with a stupid person because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

Mark Minton

~~~

A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don’t talk about private matters in public. At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.

When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"

"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.

"Well then," says the little girl, "You’d better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."

~~~

There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.

Unknown

~~~

Bill took Jack to a celebratory dinner at a really fine restaurant.

They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maitre d’, and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Jack unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back.

Staring at him, the maitre d’ said, between gritted teeth, "Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?"

~~~

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.

I tell them, a paternity suit."

George Burns

~~~

Little Johnny wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement.

He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t start getting better grades… somebody is going to get a spanking!"

~~~

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy,

You must have somebody to divide it with.

Mark Twain

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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