Ray's musings and humor

He’s at the Docs

 

Well the boss is up and about today but I think it is only because he has critical Doctors appointments. This morning it is his lung doc and later today he has lab tests and visits with his heart guys.

Like I said yesterday I told him I am not sending any new Dailies until his energy returns, his docs have told him how he is doing and his load is reduced. I would hope I’ll be able to let him back on stream on Thursday but we’ll see.

So here is another one he wrote years ago.

Ray’s Computer

~~~

March 4, 2005

 

Recently we learned that the life expectancy of those of us who live in the U.S. has again increased. I also saw recently that most of us have more material things than anyone in history. We are generally healthier and wealthier. Our kids have more than we ever dreamed possible. Since this is the case, why is it being reported that there is more unhappiness, worry, and depression than in the past. I recently read an essay that reported that no matter how much money each of us makes we still feel we need more. If our neighbor has a new whiz-bang why do we feel we must have one too, and hopefully a better one at that.

I am as guilty as most since I don’t really want for much. I have more devices, gadgets, toys, electronics, books, records, CD’s, and stuff, than I can ever use. I wonder if we have so much that we have lost the ability to savor something exceptional. It is almost like we have eaten so often at good or fine restaurants that we take good food for granted. I am beginning to think we should occasionally follow Henry David Thoreau’s lead and revisit the simpler life.

Just like I strive to place value on my friendships I hope I can place value on that which is valuable. It is not the quantity of our toys that measure each of us, it is the quality of the lives we lead. Another thing that bothers me is how much time is taken up in meaningless pursuits. Do I really have to read every magazine, visit every web page, see every movie, visit every restaurant. I hope you agree that it is sad that so many of us spend most, if not all, of our time just using it, instead of investing time in the things that enrich our lives. For what it’s worth I don’t think spending long periods playing video games increases the quality of life.

~~~

If I shall sell both my forenoons and afternoons to society, as most appear to do,

I’m sure that, for me, there would be nothing left worth living for.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

He Said:

There Are Ten Commandments of Marriage.

Commandment 1: Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning…

Commandment 2: If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep…

Commandment 3: Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen…

Commandment 5: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is…

Commandment 6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one…

Commandment 7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish…

Commandment 8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife…

Commandment 9: Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste…

Commandment 10: A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished…

Again this does not reflect the viewpoint of the editor. The rules bar any such opinions.

~~~

Ain’t it hell though to reach your "September Years" and discover that you blew the best of July and August.

~~~

Have you noticed in the movies that:  

All teenage boys have some kind of "do not enter or else" sticker or sign on their bedroom door.

Something very very bad always happens when someone says "How bad can it be?" or "Can things get any worse?"

While crossing wobbly old rope bridges, the hero will always state "don’t look down." Then the female will say, "too late," prompting the wooden board she next steps on to break and she falls through, and is left dangling high above a river that’s always full of hungry, man-eating crocodiles.

Any teen comedy usually ends with a prom no matter the time of year.

If the hero is running, the henchmen’s machine-guns will always give off sparks behind the hero’s feet and never actually hit him.

Heroes/villains, especially when wearing bulky, heavy, long black trench coats, can jump easily from rooftop to rooftop, always able to clear alleys ten to fifteen feet wide.

If a parent goes to their child’s bedroom and they are already in bed asleep, the parent will approach the bed and say something kind to the sleeping child before brushing their hair into place and kissing them on the forehead.

If there happens to be a high-rise building in an action/ disaster film, you can always expect an oblivious Hispanic janitor listening to salsa on his headphones.

Be extremely cautious around cremation urns, because somehow it’s going to get knocked over.

If there is a dangerous man breaking into a house, only the mother and daughter will be home. The mother will then usher the child into a closet and tell her to stay there, and the closet will always have those blinds with little slits in them that the child can look through. The bad man will always approach the closet, but will never look inside before leaving.

An alcoholic can always chug down a gallon of whisky without vomiting, getting really drunk, or burning their throat. He’ll chug it down, wince, and go "Aahhh!"

If there is about to be a huge disaster like an alien invasion or the world is about to be plunged into a new ice age there will always be a smart character who can see what’s going to happen well before it does, but is ignored and made fun of by everyone until its too late.

In a gunfight, the hero can hide behind any object even if it is very thin and no bullets will pass through.

In a movie with a Chinese bad guy, the guy ALWAYS hangs out in China Town and his hideout is ALWAYS in a Chinese restaurant.

The hero may get shot in the arm at the very end.

If a number of people are knocked out with gas or otherwise, they will all wake up at approximately the same time.  

~~~

A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.

~~~

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:

"There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being—a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows."

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement.

Finally, she responded, "I think it’s a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?"

~~~

"Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Ann Landers

~~~

A sign was placed at the entrance of the large machinery plant. It said:

"Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist."

~~~

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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