Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2008

Seven years ago today

The most damaging phrase in the language is "It’s always been done that way."

Grace Hopper

 

 

Time is flying by so I reached back seven years and came up with this daily.

 

Tuesday

February 20, 2001

Judy provides us more of her wisdom:

I’ve learned that everyday you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about.  I just did.  Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

NOTE:  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

~~~

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

~~~

If…..

If ya can’t beat ’em…….RUN!

If you can read this you have a modem.

If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.

If you don’t like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

If you don’t think women are explosive, drop one!

If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!

~~~

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

~~~

These announcements were found in synagogue newsletters and bulletins.

           Don’t let worry kill you.  Let your synagogue help.

           Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

           For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

           Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the rabbi in his private study.

           The ladies of Hadassah have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays.

~~~

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

Cindy Garner

~~~

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the directions: "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points, tell me WHICH tire it was!"

~~~

I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double.

The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.

~~~

A husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.  His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You’re beautiful."

Flattered, she continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.  Later he woke up and said, "You’re cute." "What happened to ‘beautiful’?" she asked him.

"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

~~~

"Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground."

Tommy Cooper

~~~

He said there are ten things that only a woman understands.

10. Cats’ facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

OTHER WOMEN

~~~

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

~~~

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.

One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.  She said "…And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said ‘Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?’" Then the teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?" and my friend’s son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!  He said ‘Holy smokes! A talking pig!’"

~~~

Yeager’s Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.

Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber’s day off.

~~~

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. 

The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs to look for:

* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

* A loss of interest in judging other people.

* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

* A loss of interest in conflict.

* A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

* Frequent attacks of smiling.

* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

* An increased susceptibility to the love offered by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

~~~

The smallest good deed is better than the greatest intention.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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I hope you are not one of them

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Denis Waitley:

 

 

I spent three hours last night making phone calls for a candidate for congress. I figured it was time for me to quit sitting on the sidelines and do something for a challenger that I think will do a much better job than the incumbent. The primary purpose of the calls was to ask what the voter thought were the two most critical issues that concerned them as well as to ask if they knew about our candidate. No hassle, the whole process took about a minute or minute and a half. Most of the people I contacted were courteous and understanding. Some did not want to participate which I understood and then there were a few that were so unhappy with life that they had to vent their frustration. I truly feel sorry for those that have so much bitterness in their lives that they feel they have to off load some of it on others. I know this does not apply to any of you but if you know someone like that you may want to send them these tips. I don’t know who wrote it but I am glad someone sent it to me.

~~~

10 Causes and Cures of Unhappiness

One of the quickest ways to spread the sunny rays of happiness over your life is to directly confront the negative attitudes darkening your doorstep.   While neither universal nor all-encompassing, the joy-stealing attitudes and corresponding cures listed below are common enough to warrant a thumbtack on the wall of many lives, including my own.

1. Jealousy: Destroy the green monster by celebrating the successes of others. If your friend succeeds, celebrate his victory as your own; if your enemy succeeds, remind yourself that jealousy is self-defeating, pointless, and merely extends an enemy’s power over you.

2. Persecution Complex: Recognize that persecution is irrelevant, since you (and only you) control the outcome of your life. Every person has a stack of obstacles placed before him; success hinges upon your ability to overcome the obstacles in your path, persecution or no.

3. Lack of Accountability: We may not control every bad thing that happens to us, but we do control how we react to those bad things.  Instead of passing the buck, take responsibility for every failure so you can learn and grow.

4. Perfectionism: Stop nit picking. Perfection is rarely attainable and seldom necessary. You’re a person, not a robot. Use the 80/20 Rule whenever appropriate.

5. Excessive Reasoning: Man is blessed with a marvelous and astounding ability to reason. At its best, this ability facilitates accomplishment; at its worst, it causes spirals of perfectionism, over-thinking, and paralysis by analysis. If it’s clear you’re in a situation that cannot be improved through logic and reason, learn to let go. 

6. Negativism: Remind yourself that there are just as many positive forces in the world as negative ones; your fixation on the negative is a matter of perspective and choice.

7. Assuming the Worst of Others: There is a fine line between guarding against a realistic threat and being needlessly defensive. Make sure you haven’t crossed that line. Whenever possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.

8. Low Self-Esteem: Raise your self-esteem by recognizing your accomplishments and positive qualities; further boost it by correcting the problem areas that drag you down.

9. Low Self-Efficacy: Self-efficacy is defined as faith in your ability to achieve a desired outcome. To overcome low self-efficacy, master the skills required to reach your objective. Practice, practice, practice.

10. Feelings of Meaninglessness: Inject meaning into your life by learning to follow your passion: that internal compass, guiding you toward fulfillment. Read my synergy series of articles for more information; if you disagree with my approach for discovering purpose, pioneer your own.

Unhappiness is both self-defined and self-imposed (meaning a person who believes himself happy is), so if you’re capable of controlling your mental state without examining its constituent elements, I stand in awe of your mental abilities and politely leave you to your devices.

On the other hand, if you’re like most people I’ve known (myself included) and occasionally feel unhappy for reasons that cannot be swept under the rug, review this list of 10 self-destructive attitudes and corresponding cures. By understanding the source of your unhappiness, you can take the steps required to climb out of the hole of despair and into the sunlight of happiness. 

~~~

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

The Dalai Lama

~~~

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.

The woman replied, "A billionaire."

~~~

A young man who wants to see the world signs up with the merchant marine to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman. After mastering the classroom instruction, he starts his practical training behind the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the exec gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the exec orders, "Come starboard."

Pleased with himself at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his executive officer.

The exec has an incredulous look on his face as the wheel swings freely… Then, rather gently considering the circumstances, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"

~~~

I may be lost but I’m making good time.

~~~

A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. "Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this."

"What’s the problem?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you."

The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."

"So, what’s your problem?"

"I don’t have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."

~~~

"We have a new recipe for an exotic gourmet dinner. First, take two credit cards…"

Bessie and Beulah

~~~

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.

"Ohhh, it’s my girlfriend." he said.

"Oh yeah? What’s the problem?"

"When I asked her if she could learn to love me," he said, "she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."

~~~

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.

It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

We do have a role to play

Oh, my dear friends,–you who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day,–if you only could know and see and feel that the time is short, how it would break the spell! How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do!

Phillips Brooks

 

 

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning early when I heard an Israeli and a Palestinian talk about their lives in the Middle East. Each had lost an innocent child at the hands of the other side during the ongoing conflict over Palestine. They were traveling together in my country advocating peace. Neither had excused the other side for their role in the loss of their loved one and yet they had found in their common loss that they could be friends and that they needed to help search for a better answer.

At one point they said they did not need any more pro-Israelis or pro-Palestinians, they said what they needed were more pro-reconcilers. What they had to say hit home, we will never solve anything by loading more power on each side as we add to the horror, never finding solutions.

It was then that I realized that there are occasions when two answers can be right even though they are 180 degrees apart. In my case I live well, I am not rich but have more than enough, I have good neighbors, a safe environment, and all the amenities of a good life, even my family is nearby. For me Indianapolis is truly a great place to live. Someone else lives in a rundown crime ridden neighborhood, having to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table, their children have lost a friend due to a drive by shooting, to them Indianapolis is a truly awful place to live. So who’s right about Indianapolis? We both are.

We each see the world from where we stand and it becomes too easy to believe that what we see is all there is. And sadly it is too easy to ignore what others are forced to live with. In the case of the Middle East it appears that the only hope rests with the mediators, those who know things cannot continue to escalate until a major catastrophe results. And in my case maybe we need mitigators to help people bootstrap out of their situation before their plight becomes an epidemic that effects us all.

Like the people I heard on the radio we can take responsibility to try to make our world a better place or we can sit back blaming everyone else. We may not have created the problems, we may not even understand the problems, but that does not mean we cannot do something about the problems. And like the quote said in the daily the other day, doing nothing is doing something, when we all do nothing we are helping to make sure things don’t get better.

~~~

"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."

Golda Meir

~~~

An Australian travel writer, touring Canada, was checking-out of the Hilton. As he paid his bill, he asked the manager, "By the way, what’s with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He’s been there ever since I arrived."

"Oh! That’s ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’," said the manager. "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He’s known as ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’ because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember even the slightest detail of his life."

The travel writer took this in and as he was waiting for his cab decided to put the chief’s memory to the test. "G’day mate!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"

"Eggs," was the chief’s instant reply, without even looking up and indeed the Aussie was impressed. He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and back, telling others of ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’s’ great memory.

On his return to the Hilton six months later, he was surprised to see ‘Big Chief Forget-me Not’ still sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick.

Remembering that one local had informed him that ‘How’ was a more appropriate greeting for an Indian chief rather than ‘G’day’, the Aussie greets him with, "How?"

"Scrambled," replied the Chief.

~~~

If you want the last word in an argument, say, "You’re right."

~~~

A little old Jewish lady is flying out of New York City on her way to Miami Beach. She looks at the businessman sitting next to her and asks him, "Excuse me sir, but are you Jewish?"

The man responds politely, "No, ma’am, I’m not Jewish."

After a little while she again queries him, "You’re really Jewish, aren’t you?"

Again he responds, "No ma’am, I am not Jewish."

Barely 10 minutes later, the little old lady asks him once more, "Are you sure you’re not Jewish?"

To which in exasperation, and in a final effort to shut her up, he replies, "Okay. Yes, ma’am, I am Jewish."

"Funny," she says, looking puzzled, "you don’t look Jewish!"

~~~

Power is the ability to do good things for others.

Brooke Astor

~~~

Heather meets up with her [blonde] sister Karen as she is picking her car up from the mechanic. Heather asks,

"Everything ok with your car now, Karen?"

Karen replies,

"Yeah, thank goodness! I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."

~~~

"The secret of longevity is to keep breathing."

Sophie Tucker

~~~

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang.  

"You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably.  

"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. It’s always for you."

~~~

Children need models rather than critics.

Joseph Joubert

~~~

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner. "Look," he said, "let’s play a little game. I’ll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I’ll buy YOU a drink. If you can’t, then you buy ME one. Okay?"  

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.  

The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn’t my brother. It wasn’t my sister. Who was it?"  

The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"  

"It was ME," chortled the Indian. So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.  

Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can’t, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?"  

"Fair enough," said Sven. Okay, my fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn’t my brudder. It vasn’t my sister. Who vas it?"  

"Search me," said Sven. "I give up. Who vas it?"  

"It vas some Indian up in Fargo, ND."  

~~~

“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.”

Tenzin Gyatso,

The 14th Dalai Lama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Is your glass satisfactory?

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.”

Robert Fritz

 

 

I had breakfast with an academic friend this morning who is at a point in her life where she can make some decisions on what she wants to do in the years ahead. She has many options and as we talked we got to the proverbial question asking if she felt her glass was half empty or half full. I suggested that the better question is, does she have the right size glass? It seems like we constrain ourselves to looking at choices only in the framework of our current situation rather than looking at it without the restraints placed upon us by where we are today.

When I start to think about the vessel my life is stored in I can open my mind to containers that may be smaller, bigger, or different in other respects. Do I really have to stay in this job? Am I limited to the hobbies I already have? Do I have to live here? The alternatives are many; I think you get the idea. If we unleash ourselves we are free to explore alternatives that may be better suited to what we really want.

As we spoke we realized that the question should not start with the vessel but rather with the contents we want to put in it. When we inventory where we are and where we might like to go we can start to build lists of desirables which then become potential content for our glass. Do we want more time for ourselves, or maybe less? Do we want to live in a warmer climate? Read more, play more, meet more people, change jobs, and on…..and on….and on. Of course we don’t have to store everything at first, at least not all that we want, for if we choose a larger vessel we can always add more content later. If we know what we want to store we can then pick an appropriate container, and then a better question may be to ask is the glass full yet and if not why not?

My friend has an unbelievable set of skills and interests as well as opportunities; it is up to her to decide what she wants to keep and what kind of glass she wants to store them in. I wish her luck as too many choices are often more burdensome than too few choices.

~~~

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.”

William James

~~~

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess, "What’s that stuff all over those hills?"

"Just snow," replied the stewardess.

"That’s what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."

~~~

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

Chinese proverb

~~~

A New York woman was at her East Side hairdresser’s getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded, "Why would anyone want to go to Rome? It’s crowded and dirty and, worse yet, full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome."

"So how are you getting there?"

"We’re flying Continental," was the reply. We got a good rate."

"Continental," exclaimed the hairdresser, "that’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old. Their flight attendants are ugly and they’re always late." "So, where are you staying in Rome?", asked the hairdresser.

"We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s left side called Teste…."

"Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive but it’s really a dump – the worst hotel in the whole city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re way overpriced." "So, whatcha doing when you get there?", quizzed the hairdresser.

"We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we are hoping to see the Pope."

"That’s rich," laughed the hairdresser, "you and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re sure going to need it."

A month later, the woman, all smiling, came in for her hair appointment. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was absolutely wonderful," explained the woman, "not only did we arrive on time in one of Continental’s brand new jets but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year old steward who waited on me hand and foot." "And the hotel – it was fabulous! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it’s just a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge"

"Well, muttered the hairdresser, "I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.

"Actually, we were quite lucky because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors and if I’d be so kind to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me." "Sure enough, five minutes later, the Holy Father walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Really?" asked the hairdresser, "What’d he say?"

He said, "Where did you get that crappy hairdo?"

~~~

I made a mental note, but forgot where I put it.

~~~

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.  

Judge: And why is that?  

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.  

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s motion?  

Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor, what did you say?

~~~

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Charles Dickens

~~~

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

"No thank you." she said politely.

"This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I can love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don’t mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

~~~

She said: An argument with my husband tends to make me want to clean something . . . with his toothbrush.

~~~

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, Dr. Wilson said it had.

I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give that information out over the phone.

"Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn’t have"?

"It wasn’t a boy," replied Dr. Wilson.

~~~

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

Emo Philips

~~~

Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied female obesity to a virus. One evening my sister came home exhausted from a long day at work.  

"Did you read the paper?" she asked. "I’m not going in to work tomorrow. I’m calling in fat."  

~~~

“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

Do you know how well you are doing?

Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.

Pythagoras

 

 

I like many others sometimes wonder if what I am doing has value. At one time the question was centered on value in the eyes of others but I have mostly outgrown the need for approval from others, so now the question is centered on value in my own eyes. What brought the question to mind was an article I read recently written by Zig Ziglar. I am not a very religious person yet his message says it so well that I wanted to share the article with you.

 

Ziglar wrote:

People frequently ask me, “How can I know when I am doing better than good?” I thought about that question and came up with 15 ways to measure yourself. Take a look and see what you think:

  • You are doing better than good when you clearly understand that failure is an event, not a person; that yesterday ended last night, and today is your brand new day.
  • You are doing better than good when you have made friends with your past, are focused on the present, and optimistic about your future.
  • You are doing better than good when you know that success (a win) doesn’t make you, and failure (a loss) doesn’t break you.
  • You are doing better than good when you are filled with faith, hope and love; and live without anger, greed, guilt, envy or thoughts of revenge.
  • You are doing better than good when you are mature enough to delay gratification and shift your focus from your rights to your responsibilities.
  • You are doing better than good when you know that failure to stand for what is morally right is the prelude to being the victim of what is criminally wrong.
  • You are doing better than good when you are secure in who you are, so you are at peace with God and in fellowship with man.
  • You are doing better than good when you have made friends of your adversaries, and have gained the love and respect of those who know you best.
  • You are doing better than good when you understand that others can give you pleasure, but genuine happiness comes when you do things for others.
  • You are doing better than good when you are pleasant to the grouch, courteous to the rude, and generous to the needy.
  • You are doing better than good when you love the unlovable, give hope to the hopeless, friendship to the friendless, and encouragement to the discouraged.
  • You are doing better than good when you can look back in forgiveness, forward in hope, down in compassion, and up with gratitude.
  • You are doing better than good when you know that "he who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all."
  • You are doing better than good when you recognize, confess, develop and use your God-given physical, mental and spiritual abilities to the glory of God and for the benefit of mankind.
  • You are doing better than good when you stand in front of the Creator of the universe and He says to you, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Think over each one of these 15 ideas and see how you can incorporate them into your life so that you truly are better than good!

~~~

All of us want to do well. But if we do not do good, too, then doing well will never be enough.

Anna Quindlen

~~~

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. hese were voted the top ten quotes from the Dilberts we work for in orporate America, circa 2004:

  • "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
  • "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
  • "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
  • "This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
  • "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
  • Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
  • My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
  • "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
  • "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

~~~

He does the work of 3 men… Moe, Larry & Curly.

~~~

There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing.

"What’s the matter"? she asks.

"I’ve just figured out how to tie my shoes."

"Well, honey, that’s wonderful. You’re growing up, but why are you crying"?

"Because," he says. "Now I’ll have to do it every day for the rest of my life."

~~~

“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”

Dr. Samuel Johnson

~~~

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee’s pay.  

She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month’s sick leave AND they paid the full premiums."  

"I can’t help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied.  

The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."  

~~~

She said she believe in clubs for men – only after kindness fails.

~~~

The Lamaze class was in full swing. The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"

She then looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember. You’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with your partner."

The room suddenly got very quiet as everyone absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes"? answered the instructor.

"I was just wondering, wouldn’t it be even more beneficial to her if she carried a golf bag while we walk"?

~~~

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life, you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

What! You expect me to pay my debt

“Avoiding likewise the accumulation of debt, not only by shunning occasions of expense, but by vigorous exertions in time of peace to discharge the debts which unavoidable wars have occasioned, not ungenerously throwing upon posterity the burden.”

George Washington

 

 

My bronchitis has subsided enough that I will be venturing out for a couple of meetings today. At least that is the plan. Since I am moving slow and have a semi-full day I went back and dug up another blast from the past. When I found the daily I sent five years ago I saw that what I wrote then applies today as I watch the stock market and home values deteriorate as the interest on the national debt has more than doubled.

~~~

February 13, 2003

If you are like we are, you are experiencing shrinking income. We have seen a major drop in the value and yield of our retirement funds. I thought I had found the answer; I was going to use the administrations model. I was going to borrow large sums and just pay the interest and let my kids worry about paying my debts after I am gone, even though there will be less of them working and their expenses will be higher than today’s. But after listening to Allen Greenspan testify that the administrations plan won’t work and will drive up interest rates, I decided I better not try it. I had already heard that interest payments on the national debt could again soar to $200 billion dollars a year. Anyway I did not think it was fair for me to spend and then leave my kids with the job of figuring out how to pay what I owed. So, differently than the President’s plan I will work to increase my income, pay my debts, and limit my expenditures. I hope that no one will think that I am unpatriotic as I try to maintain fiscal responsibility.

~~~

Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

Robert W. Sarnoff

~~~

She said:

Before I was a Mom – I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom – I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom – I had never been puked on – Pooped on – Spit on – Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night

Before I was a Mom – I never held down a screaming child So that doctors could do tests…Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom – I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom – I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom – I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

~~~

When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

~~~

Letters Of Recommendations For Employees

 

For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."

"It seemed his career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:

"I feel his real talent is wasted here."

"We generally found him loaded with work to do."

For an employee with no ambition:

"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."

"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

"He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:

"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:

"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."

"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

~~~

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

~~~

Little Johnny and his friend were always boasting of their parents’ achievements to each other.

Friend: ‘Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?’

Little Johnny: ‘Yes, I have’

Friend: ‘Well, my father dug it.’

Little Johnny: ‘That’s nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?’

Friend: ‘Yes, I have.’

Little Johnny: ‘Well, my father killed it.

~~~

"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"

~~~

Ken sent us this that was written by a class of 8 year olds

  • A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own. She likes other peoples. A grandfather is a man grandmother. Grandfathers don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
  • They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also don’t step on "cracks." They don’t say, "Hurry up."
  • Grandmothers don’t have to be smart. They have to answer questions like, "Why isn’t God married?" and, "How come dogs chase cats?”
  • When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
  • Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us. They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

~~~

Have you noticed that:

Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

All builders’ quotes and time estimates are complete fiction.

Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.

~~~

"My wife’s found the best method of birth control. She takes off her make-up."

 Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

This year’s Valentine verse:

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother…

 

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not…

 

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime…

~~~

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

Isak Dinesen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

There are a lot of good years left, don’t waste them

Age is an issue of mind over matter.

If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Mark Twain

 

 

I have been down with bronchitis since yesterday so I am not thinking much today.

 

A week or so ago I enquired about an acquaintance and a mutual friend told me that his brain was still sharp but he did not move around very well. She went on to say, “after all he is pretty old.” I had to remind her that I was older than he was. She immediately said something like, “yes but your different.” I probably am different but not due to age. So you can imagine why the following article from a family friend hit home when I found it in my archives. I decided it was worth sharing with you.

~~~

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend.

I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 40 &50’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

~~~

Everyone is the age of their heart.

Guatemalan Proverb

~~~

An old Native Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two Government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one Official, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress and the damage he’s done."  

The Chief nodded in agreement.  

The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"  

The Chief stared at the Government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Natives were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, Medicine Man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night having sex."  

Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

~~~

It worked… Now if I could only remember what I did.

~~~

She said: One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us.  

"Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought.  

Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You were my third grade teacher." 

~~~

Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man.

Louis Nizer

~~~

Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

~ Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so."

~ To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.

~ Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.

~ Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.

~ For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out- of-control fires that consumed most of the city.

~ A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep, and work in doorways.

~ Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.

~ In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table, or your boss.

~ If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how grossly you’ve wasted your life.

~~~

hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPS~OCK KEY?

~~~

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you…"  

The doctor cut her off and reassured her, "I know, I know, I get the same question all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."  

"No, that’s not it," the woman confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."  

~~~

Abstinence should be practiced in moderation.

~~~

An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stopped at a bar and asked one of the locals, "What’s the quickest way to Belfast?"

The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"

The Australian replied, "I’m driving!"

The Irishman said, "Aye, that’d be the quickest way!"

~~~

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

Robert Brault

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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