Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
I spent three hours last night making phone calls for a candidate for congress. I figured it was time for me to quit sitting on the sidelines and do something for a challenger that I think will do a much better job than the incumbent. The primary purpose of the calls was to ask what the voter thought were the two most critical issues that concerned them as well as to ask if they knew about our candidate. No hassle, the whole process took about a minute or minute and a half. Most of the people I contacted were courteous and understanding. Some did not want to participate which I understood and then there were a few that were so unhappy with life that they had to vent their frustration. I truly feel sorry for those that have so much bitterness in their lives that they feel they have to off load some of it on others. I know this does not apply to any of you but if you know someone like that you may want to send them these tips. I don’t know who wrote it but I am glad someone sent it to me.
10 Causes and Cures of Unhappiness
One of the quickest ways to spread the sunny rays of happiness over your life is to directly confront the negative attitudes darkening your doorstep. While neither universal nor all-encompassing, the joy-stealing attitudes and corresponding cures listed below are common enough to warrant a thumbtack on the wall of many lives, including my own.
1. Jealousy: Destroy the green monster by celebrating the successes of others. If your friend succeeds, celebrate his victory as your own; if your enemy succeeds, remind yourself that jealousy is self-defeating, pointless, and merely extends an enemy’s power over you.
2. Persecution Complex: Recognize that persecution is irrelevant, since you (and only you) control the outcome of your life. Every person has a stack of obstacles placed before him; success hinges upon your ability to overcome the obstacles in your path, persecution or no.
3. Lack of Accountability: We may not control every bad thing that happens to us, but we do control how we react to those bad things. Instead of passing the buck, take responsibility for every failure so you can learn and grow.
4. Perfectionism: Stop nit picking. Perfection is rarely attainable and seldom necessary. You’re a person, not a robot. Use the 80/20 Rule whenever appropriate.
5. Excessive Reasoning: Man is blessed with a marvelous and astounding ability to reason. At its best, this ability facilitates accomplishment; at its worst, it causes spirals of perfectionism, over-thinking, and paralysis by analysis. If it’s clear you’re in a situation that cannot be improved through logic and reason, learn to let go.
6. Negativism: Remind yourself that there are just as many positive forces in the world as negative ones; your fixation on the negative is a matter of perspective and choice.
7. Assuming the Worst of Others: There is a fine line between guarding against a realistic threat and being needlessly defensive. Make sure you haven’t crossed that line. Whenever possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.
8. Low Self-Esteem: Raise your self-esteem by recognizing your accomplishments and positive qualities; further boost it by correcting the problem areas that drag you down.
9. Low Self-Efficacy: Self-efficacy is defined as faith in your ability to achieve a desired outcome. To overcome low self-efficacy, master the skills required to reach your objective. Practice, practice, practice.
10. Feelings of Meaninglessness: Inject meaning into your life by learning to follow your passion: that internal compass, guiding you toward fulfillment. Read my synergy series of articles for more information; if you disagree with my approach for discovering purpose, pioneer your own.
Unhappiness is both self-defined and self-imposed (meaning a person who believes himself happy is), so if you’re capable of controlling your mental state without examining its constituent elements, I stand in awe of your mental abilities and politely leave you to your devices.
On the other hand, if you’re like most people I’ve known (myself included) and occasionally feel unhappy for reasons that cannot be swept under the rug, review this list of 10 self-destructive attitudes and corresponding cures. By understanding the source of your unhappiness, you can take the steps required to climb out of the hole of despair and into the sunlight of happiness.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
The Dalai Lama
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire."
A young man who wants to see the world signs up with the merchant marine to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman. After mastering the classroom instruction, he starts his practical training behind the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the exec gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the exec orders, "Come starboard."
Pleased with himself at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his executive officer.
The exec has an incredulous look on his face as the wheel swings freely… Then, rather gently considering the circumstances, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
I may be lost but I’m making good time.
A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. "Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this."
"What’s the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what’s your problem?"
"I don’t have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
"We have a new recipe for an exotic gourmet dinner. First, take two credit cards…"
Bessie and Beulah
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it’s my girlfriend." he said.
"Oh yeah? What’s the problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me," he said, "she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.