Ray's musings and humor

“Avoiding likewise the accumulation of debt, not only by shunning occasions of expense, but by vigorous exertions in time of peace to discharge the debts which unavoidable wars have occasioned, not ungenerously throwing upon posterity the burden.”

George Washington

 

 

My bronchitis has subsided enough that I will be venturing out for a couple of meetings today. At least that is the plan. Since I am moving slow and have a semi-full day I went back and dug up another blast from the past. When I found the daily I sent five years ago I saw that what I wrote then applies today as I watch the stock market and home values deteriorate as the interest on the national debt has more than doubled.

~~~

February 13, 2003

If you are like we are, you are experiencing shrinking income. We have seen a major drop in the value and yield of our retirement funds. I thought I had found the answer; I was going to use the administrations model. I was going to borrow large sums and just pay the interest and let my kids worry about paying my debts after I am gone, even though there will be less of them working and their expenses will be higher than today’s. But after listening to Allen Greenspan testify that the administrations plan won’t work and will drive up interest rates, I decided I better not try it. I had already heard that interest payments on the national debt could again soar to $200 billion dollars a year. Anyway I did not think it was fair for me to spend and then leave my kids with the job of figuring out how to pay what I owed. So, differently than the President’s plan I will work to increase my income, pay my debts, and limit my expenditures. I hope that no one will think that I am unpatriotic as I try to maintain fiscal responsibility.

~~~

Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

Robert W. Sarnoff

~~~

She said:

Before I was a Mom – I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom – I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom – I had never been puked on – Pooped on – Spit on – Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night

Before I was a Mom – I never held down a screaming child So that doctors could do tests…Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom – I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom – I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom – I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

~~~

When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

~~~

Letters Of Recommendations For Employees

 

For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."

"It seemed his career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:

"I feel his real talent is wasted here."

"We generally found him loaded with work to do."

For an employee with no ambition:

"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."

"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

"He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:

"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:

"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment."

"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

~~~

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

~~~

Little Johnny and his friend were always boasting of their parents’ achievements to each other.

Friend: ‘Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?’

Little Johnny: ‘Yes, I have’

Friend: ‘Well, my father dug it.’

Little Johnny: ‘That’s nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?’

Friend: ‘Yes, I have.’

Little Johnny: ‘Well, my father killed it.

~~~

"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"

~~~

Ken sent us this that was written by a class of 8 year olds

  • A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own. She likes other peoples. A grandfather is a man grandmother. Grandfathers don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
  • They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also don’t step on "cracks." They don’t say, "Hurry up."
  • Grandmothers don’t have to be smart. They have to answer questions like, "Why isn’t God married?" and, "How come dogs chase cats?”
  • When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
  • Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us. They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

~~~

Have you noticed that:

Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

All builders’ quotes and time estimates are complete fiction.

Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.

~~~

"My wife’s found the best method of birth control. She takes off her make-up."

 Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

This year’s Valentine verse:

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother…

 

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not…

 

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime…

~~~

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

Isak Dinesen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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