Ray's musings and humor

Come home with me

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”

Maya Angelou

 

 

Luckily I feel at home almost everywhere. Wherever I go there seems to be something or someone to enjoy, but still there is no place like home. I find comfort at home where my things are at hand, where I can launch each new day, and the safe harbor which provides time for both contemplation and the freeing of my imagination.

 

Before I get on with the thought let me report on my heart operation. It went very well, there were not the complications that they encountered last time and the prognosis is good, although only time will tell if the problem has been permanently eliminated. For those of you that are new readers I have had a rapid and erratic heartbeat for many years and when it ran away I lost all my energy. The problem became progressively worse as the years went by to the point where I was never sure what I would be able to do. The answer was a heart ablation and my first operation was unsuccessful but this one looks good.

 

OK back to coming home. What I thought about this week was that I was coming home healthy and capable. If all stays well I will have energy and a sense of well being that I have not had for many years. It is like coming home after a long journey. But that being said there are also realistic pitfalls. I may think I am ten or twenty years younger but my body will tell me otherwise. I have not exercised for some time, I have put on too much weight, and my health provided me the excuse to avoid doing very much. So realistically I have to plan my future based on the new me with some limits.

 

I have been successful in complying with all of my New Year’s resolutions. I have not sky dived, run a marathon, visited Mongolia, raced stock cars, and all the other things on the list. While I could rest on my laurels I think it is wise to add to the list, so here goes. I will exercise much more and eat a little less. I will do more but also reserve time for reflection and meditation. I will make sure that everyone knows how fortunate I am to know them. I’ll volunteer more when I can do something that does some good and volunteer less when the reward is only personal recognition. I will say Yes often but also No when I have to. And I will be thankful everyday for what the next twenty four hours has to offer and how I can make good use of the time as a matter of choice.

 

Well anyway, HI, I’m back and boy am I glad to be home and to be with you all.

~~~

It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.

~~~

I have a brother who was on a plane that had taken off and was approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on the public-address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the plane’s restroom was out of order. The flight attendant went on to apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished cheerily with: "So, as compensation, free drinks will be served."

~~~

18 out of 10 schizophrenics agree.

~~~

I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard’s eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area.

"A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in embarrassment. "It’s a talking metronome," I insisted. "Look, I’ll show you."

I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, "Aren’t you glad it didn’t go ‘four, three, two, one’"?

~~~

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Working in the Emergency Room here in our small rural community, we don’t get many calls, but they do tend to be memorable. One summer, a two-year-old boy was brought in with a cherry pit stuffed up his nostril. His mother said he was unable to blow it out and that when she tried using tweezers, it had only moved farther up into her son’s nose. I realized that the emergency equipment we had on hand was not suitable for the comfortable removal of the object from such a small patient, but I’d been taught early on in medical school that a paper clip bent to just the right angle and then curved slightly, could often be looped behind an object to help extract it. Finding a large clip, I bent it accordingly and managed to extract the cherry pit successfully.

The little boy’s mother looked at me and smiled. "That’s why we came to the hospital," she explained, "So we could have access to all the modern, high-tech equipment."

~~~

Ask me about my vow of silence.

~~~

Two mothers met for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"  

"To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!" says Ruth. "She doesn’t get out of bed until 11. She’s out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."  

"Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?"  

"Ah! Now there’s a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant."  

~~~

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

John Andrew Holmes

~~~

His aching back made it impossible for my friend’s husband to get a decent night’s rest on their lumpy mattress. "Until I feel better, I’m going to sleep on the couch," he announced.  

Ordinarily, a spouse moving out of the bedroom isn’t a good sign for the marriage. So his wife couldn’t resist: "Okay, but as soon as we have an argument you’re back in our bed."  

~~~

You can tell when a person is well informed: their views are pretty much like your own.

~~~

Doctor: "I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse"?

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me!"

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

A blonde was chatting with her building manager when she happened to mention that the tenants in the apartment above hers were awfully noisy. "Most nights, they stomp around up there as if they will killing cockroaches or something. All evening, this goes on, until around midnight."

"That’s terrible," said the building manager. "Do you want me to speak to them about it?"

"Oh, no, it’s not necessary," said the blonde. "It doesn’t keep me up or anything, because, most nights, I usually stay up and practice my trumpet ’til about that time anyway."

~~~

Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.

Peter Marshall

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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