Ray's musings and humor

Be Thankful

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

W.T. Purkiser



I am kind of overwhelmed with how good I feel, I had forgotten what it felt like. This really has been a good year in many ways, not the least being how lucky I am to have so many good friends, I certainly have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.


I decided that rather than going back over all the reasons to be thankful this year that I would look back to some of the Dailies of the past thanksgiving to see if there is something worth repeating, so here goes.



As most of you know tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. It is a time when some will reflect on their good fortune, many will overeat, and some will prepare their attack on the stores who always have the biggest sales of the year on the day after Thanksgiving. We are fortunate that most of us have more to be thankful for than we realize.

I share my good fortune with you on a regular basis so I don’t need to list all the good that has come my way. I do want to tell you how much I hope that your year has had many bright spots and that the months and years ahead will continue to bring you good fortune. It is sad that we often take too many of the good things in our lives for granted. It might be worth our while to sit down and list everything we can think of, I suspect we would be surprised by the results. My list would be almost endless, it would include the warm sun, a friendly neighbor, a comfortable home, the smile I got from a child the other day, the things I am allowed to do, and the friends that have given me so much. You get the idea. And when I start to list the things that aren’t all that great I find that most of them are not really that important and some could be changed if I wanted to expend the effort.

I just wish more could share our good fortune. We eat too much while others have little to eat. We can sit by the fireplace and enjoy the warmth when others have to sleep in the cold under bridges. Our health is well managed while millions of children die needlessly of malaria, famine, and war. Yes we have much to be thankful for, in fact we have so much good fortune that we ought to dedicate part of our efforts in the months ahead to making life a little better for those who have little to give them hope much less joy.


"Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds."

Theodore Roosevelt


Some tips to live by:

·      No matter how talented you think you are at imitating Charlie Chan, do not demonstrate your prowess at this while ordering food from a Chinese restaurant.

·      Never use the second digit on either hand to indicate to someone that your favorite sports team is No. 1.

·      If someone ever asks you your favorite author, remember that People magazine staff writers don’t actually count.

·      Don’t ask for an obscure unpronounceable vegetarian dish at any eating establishment which also dispenses gas, diesel and propane fuel.


Compromise is the art of dividing the cake in such a way that each one thinks he is getting the biggest piece.


20 things it takes years to learn

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings,"

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

19. Your friends love you anyway.

20. "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck."


Learn to pause … or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.

Doug King


Two lawyers went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat them.

The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained.

The two lawyers stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.


A rock <– me –> A hard place


More of my plans for when I become overlord, notwithstanding what we have learned from the movies.

·      I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

·      I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father.

·      Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

·      I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

·      No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.


A customer called our airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. My co-worker asked him, "Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"
The customer replied, "V-I-S-A."


Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.


”Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One CAN’T believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice.’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for a half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’”

Alice in Wonderland


I also want to thank those of you who have helped me fill my Salvation Army Christmas kettle, there is so much need out there and at least in my area there is no better organization to do it than the Salvation Army. It is going well but I still need $235 to reach my online goal. Please help if you can, even just $5 will help someone.



Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.


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