“Be curious, not judgmental.”
One of the best things that happened to me in my life was when my right to judge others was challenged at a development workshop. I left convinced that my life would get better if I quit judging others and spent time trying to understand them. I have enough bad habits that I don’t really have the right to tell others what they are doing wrong. In my personal life I have found things go much better when I can provide feedback to others on what bothers me and suggest alternatives for their consideration. I know myself well enough to know that I am often wrong so there is no way I can justify being righteous. I know if everyone behaved exactly as I do and we were all the same we would be in deep trouble as well as ending up being bored to death.
Here is something I found on Zenhabits.net that I think is worth our consideration.
Don’t pass judgment. If you find yourself being judgmental, stop yourself. This takes a greater awareness than we usually have, so the first step (and an important one) is to observe your thoughts for a few days, trying to notice when you’re being judgmental. This can be a difficult step. Remind yourself to observe. Once you’re more aware, you can then stop yourself when you feel yourself being judgmental. Then move to the next step.
Understand. Instead of judging someone for what he’s done or how he looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine their background. If possible, talk to them. Find out their back story. Everyone has one. If not, try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do.
Accept. Once you begin to understand, or at least think you kind of understand, try to accept. Accept that person for who he is, without trying to change him. Accept that he will act the way he does, without wanting him to change. The world is what it is, and as much as you try, you can only change a little bit of it. It will continue to be as it is long after you’re gone. Accept that, because otherwise, you’re in for a world of frustration.
Love. Once you’ve accepted someone for who he is, try to love him. Even if you don’t know him. Even if you’ve hated him in the past. Love him as a brother, or love her as a sister, no matter who they are, old or young, light skinned or dark, male or female, rich or poor.
What good will loving someone do? Your love will likely only be limited. But it could have an affect on two people: yourself, and possibly on the person you’ve found love for. Loving others will serve to make yourself happier. Trust me on this one. And loving others can change the lives of others, if you choose to express that love and take action on it. I can’t guarantee what will happen, but it can be life-changing.
“I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.”
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an attractive, elderly lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
Life is short, make fun of it.
Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40] are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirt and support hose
5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads
6. Speedo’s and cellulite
7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twisting his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed a hold of the next blade.
In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as much distance vertically as he did horizontally, which both amused and delighted me.
And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an "epiphany"; a moment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes crystal clear.
Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knew what I had to do… Quit drinking before noon.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The current scandals over how large companies have been cooking the books reminds me of a basic accounting course I took years ago. The professor was explaining an accounting method called First In Last Out, which is useful for industries that accumulate large inventories of stuff. It explains why the oil industry, for example, reported huge profits during the 1970’s when the oil shortage occurred. They stopped buying oil, so they had to use oil that, on paper, had been purchased in the 1930’s at 20¢ a barrel. They of course sold it at current market prices, which accounted for their huge profits.
One of the students put up his hand and said, "Excuse me, sir, but that doesn’t sound very ethical to me."
To which the professor replied, "You’re in the wrong class, son, this is Accounting 101. Ethics 101 is down the hall."
"I’ve given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off of myself."
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, anda Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later they’re all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became
as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
Dr. Robert Anthony
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.
The editor is somewhat senile.