Ray's musings and humor

Good News (I think)

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

Albert Camus



I am still in low energy mode that continues to put limits on my activities. The good news is that my corrective surgery plan is now in place.


I will undergo the Ablation procedure on November 8th, it will require only a two day hospital stay baring any complications. I will be getting a pre-op CAT scan on October 23rd; they won’t be able to do the normal MRI because of my pacemaker. I will go off all my primary medication in a couple of weeks; doing so should put me into A-fib almost 100% of the time. While this will probably mean a further reduction in energy it will help to improve the chance of success since it will help identify the sources of my extraneous heart beats. My post-op limited activity should not be very long if all goes well. There will be a lot of later follow-up to see if the operation was a success.


There is a 50% chance or better that it will work and I can stay off of my medication, if it has not totally corrected the problem we will try to solve it by a return to medication. If I fall within the 20%, oh darn it didn’t work group they may go back in later and burn some more.


If all goes well I will be back in action in December going at full speed to make up for all the time I have lost. The bad news is that I will lose one more excuse for my Daily’s typos, grammar errors and mistakes. You probably never thought I had a good excuse anyway so I hope it won’t make any difference.


The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do,

something to love and something to hope for.

Joseph Addison


It is time for my nap so here is something from the August 29, 7002 Daily.



A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.’"

"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded one jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him." She wasn’t selected for the jury.


Andy Rooney on Vegetarians: "Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.’"


As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

"I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to the boys. "You eat it for me."

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys.

He shook his head. "I can’t," he said.

"Why not?"

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers."


Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!


Moshe, the owner of a small Kosher New York deli, was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don’t you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It’s not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It’s these travel deductions. You listed ten trips to Israel for you and your wife."

"Oh, that?" the owner said smiling. "Well… we also deliver."


"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."

Hubert Humphrey


Quirks About Life That You Notice By The Time You Are Fifty…

– Most people deserve each other.

– All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

– The one who snores will fall asleep first.

– The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

– If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

– The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

– Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.


I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

J. B. Priestly


A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn’t stand it any more, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."

The police said, "It’s not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important."

"Well, who was it?"

"The 1956 National Hide-and-Seek Champion."


Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".


A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown.

Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let’s go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I’m going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures."

The pilot replied, "You mean you’re not the flight instructor?"


YOGI BERRA SAID: "I really didn’t say everything I said."


A teacher is giving a spelling bee.  She asks little John to spell the word "before."

"Um…  Before: b-e-e-f-o-r" he replies erroneously.

The teacher then calls on Suzy.

"Before: b-e-p-h-o-r."

Again, she is wrong, and the teacher calls on little Leroy.

"Before: b-e-f-o-r-e." gloats the little boy.

"Very good, Leroy! Can you use the word in a sentence?"

"Yeah.  Before:  Two and two be fore."


"The self is not something that one finds.

It is something that one creates."

Thomas Szasz


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.


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