Ray's musings and humor

How was your day?

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”

Robert Kiyosaki

 

 

Some days are more disappointing then others, today was one of those. As most of you know I have been suffering from energy sapping Atrial Fibrillation for weeks now. The problem will be solved when I get some heart surgery that I thought would take place soon. When I met with the heart surgeon today I learned that I have to be off my current A-fib medication for at least two months before they can do the procedure.

 

This means that I will frequently be operating at half energy or less for the next few months. I will have to limit my activities somewhat so there will be things I won’t be able to do. I am concerned that my friends will be so understanding that they will no longer ask me to do anything. While I may have to avoid making commitments where my participation is important to the success of the activity so because I am sometimes physically exhausted to the point that the only contribution I might make would be to mess something up.

 

If people stop asking me to have lunch, coffee, meet, or do something of value I will need mental therapy. What would I do if I didn’t have things to do? I can only nap so long each day, so I am going to play as much as I can and hopefully do some good along the way. I hope to find out when the operation will take place soon as I need to know because of some volunteer commitments as well as a booked tour in November and a New year’s cruise in December.

 

Life goes on but just at a little slower pace for awhile.

~~~

There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.

Jane Austen

~~~

Two older women, Judy and Monica, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party.

"My dear," said Monica, "Are those real pearls?"

"They are," replied Judy.

"Of course, the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled Monica.

Judy responded, "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."

~~~

The Earth is full – go home.

~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are xamples excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

RETARD – (verb) – To stop working.

Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.

Usage "You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh."

RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege.

Usage "We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats."

~~~

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

~~~

"It’s no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other."

"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy."

"You see, sir? I’m no good at math, either!"

~~~

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

~~~

When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel.  As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts.  The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints – this hurts, that’s stiff, I’m tired and slower, etc.

He responded with, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating.  After all, who wants to live to 100?"

The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who’s 99."

~~~

"The thing you have to be prepared for is that other people don’t always dream your dream."

Linda Ronstadt

~~~

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why………we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them….

~~~

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

~~~

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I’m busy," he said, "I’ll do the next one."

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled,

"Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"

~~~

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~~~

The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of the small Catholic university where I work was about to be demolished. As the wrecker’s ball began to strike, I sensed the anxiety and sadness experienced by one of the older monks whose order had founded the college.

"This must be difficult to watch, Father," I said. "The tradition associated with that building, the memories of all the students and monks who lived and worked there. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you."

"It’s worse than that," the monk replied. "I think I left my PalmPilot in there."

~~~

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

~~~

The manager of a glass and window company had advertised for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had over 20 years of experience.

He asked, "Where have you worked as a glazier"?

Came the reply, "Dunkin’ Donuts."

~~~

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

 

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