Ray's musings and humor

And the beat goes on.

If I’d known I was going to live so long,

I’d have taken better care of myself.

Leon Eldred

 

 

This is a big week for me, I get to spend time with my cardiologist on Wednesday and then with the heart surgeon on Thursday. The expectation is that we will schedule surgery that has a high probability of getting my heart rate to stabilize. After the last month of limited energy I have high hopes of returning to vigor soon. Even as tired as I have been I continue to feel good about my health as so many others face much graver problems. But trust me, I know the difference between feeling good and just feeling OK. I wouldn’t of course if I hadn’t had so many years filled with good days. As I thought about it I dipped into my archive and found what Ralph Marston had to say on the subject.

 

The sunshine feels so very much warmer after weeks of rainy days. Your loved ones seem so much more precious whenever they’ve been away.

You truly appreciate and value your good health after recovering from a difficult and prolonged illness. You learn new respect for financial discipline after working your way out of a burdensome debt.

It’s easy and natural to appreciate the good things after you’ve experienced life without them. Yet sadly, that can often be too late.

How very much better it is to appreciate the good things you have while you still have them. For then, not only can you appreciate them, you can put them to positive and productive use.

So begin each day by counting your many blessings. Pay particular attention to the ones so overwhelmingly a part of you that you might otherwise take them for granted.

True abundance and gratitude are solidly linked. The more you appreciate the good things, the more numerous they will be.

 

I always appreciate the wisdom he shares with us all. While I don’t expect any daily glitches this week I may have to turn its composition over to my computer once or twice. You stay well, soon I will, too.

~~~

“Happiness? That’s nothing more than a good health and a poor memory.”

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors’ house each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren’t going to have mushrooms, because they are too expensive."

He said, "Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."

She said, "No, I don’t want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."

He then said, "I don’t think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol’ Spot’s (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol’ Spot didn’t slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie’s ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."

With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We will pump out everyone’s stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."

It wasn’t long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol’ Spot never even stopped."

~~~

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it?

~~~

A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor. When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room.

"I just hurt my toe," complained the man. "Why do I need to take off my clothes?"

"Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress," explained the nurse politely. "It’s our policy."

"Well, I think it’s a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!"

From the next room another man’s voice piped up. . .

"That’s nothing! I just came here to fix the telephone!"

~~~

"If you can’t find the time to do it right the first time, when will you find the time to do it over?"

~~~

Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesperson.  

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."  

"Let’s see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser.  

The salesperson put the device around Morris’ neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.  

"How does it work?" , asked Morris.  

"For $2.00 it doesn’t work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder."  

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him," asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."

~~~

It may be possible to incorporate laugher into daily activities, just as is done with other heart-healthy activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day.

Michael Miller, MD

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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