Ray's musings and humor


“There are two types of people – those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are."”

Frederick L. Collins



I worked three days this week cooking at a major horseshow. My Kiwanis club does it each year and uses the money we earn to help brighten the lives of children in need. Our clientele is almost exclusively riders, owners, stable hands, and people who travel to major competitions around the United States and beyond. The riders vary in age from young children to senior adults and they as well as the stable hands and stable owners come from various parts of the world. Our club has served many of these people in previous years and they go out of there way to let us serve them whenever they are here.


Many of our customers seem like old friends. Why? It is more than the food we make, although the food is very good, I think it is in some part because of my fellow members who enjoy serving others. Their humor and good will spills over and our customers respond in kind.


In my experience the good will shown to others pays real dividends in the smiles and warmth they return. Here is something that I saved that shows us how we can brighten the lives of others while brightening our own world everyday.


We sometimes walk by our peers, co-workers or even complete strangers multiple times throughout our week without even thinking twice about saying thank you or holding a door open. Some of us are polite all the time, but occasionally we need a reminder which is why we have compiled a list of small actions we can do on a regular basis. They are appreciated more than we realize and also help us to become kinder people, so why not try to do them all the time!

– When you say hello to someone, add a smile.

– When someone gives you a compliment, respond by saying “Thank you”. Don’t ignore them, or minimize the compliment.

– When you ask for something, say “please.” When you receive it, say “thank you.”

– If you are going through a door, and someone else is following closely behind you, hold the door for them. Step to the side to let the other person go first, or hold the door after you pass through the doorway. If someone holds the door for you, say “Thank you.”

– If you see trash on the floor, pick it up. This is a job for all of us! And since walking is good exercise, walk to the waste basket to throw things away. Life is not all about making long distance basketball shots!

– If someone drops something, pick it up and hand it back to them. Help each other out!!

– Tame your tongue: let your yes be yes, and your no be no. If you don’t have something nice or encouraging to say, then consider saying nothing!

– If you make a mistake, admit it and apologize. Saying, and meaning, “I’m sorry” helps to cover a multitude of sins.

– When you make a commitment, honor it. Make your commitments wisely.


“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”

Mother Teresa


When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I’ll take them." Relieved, I started to to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one’s been opened."


Love is the doorway through which the human soul passes from selfishness to service and from solitude to kinship with all mankind.

Author unknown


Bob meets Doug at the bar after his day at divorce court.

"Did the judge split everything fairly when he granted your wife a divorce?" asked Doug.

Bob replies, "Sort of. She got to keep the house, the car, the boat, the furniture and MY dog. I got to keep everything I was wearing."


The value of a dog is its constant reminder of how much fun it is to act idiotic.


Now These Really Do Ring True!!

  • Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
  • Law of the Workshop – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of the Telephone – When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy Signal.
  • Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you Had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat Tire.
  • Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were In will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
  • Bath Theorem – When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  • Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases When you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
  • Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
  • Law of Bio-mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  • Theatre Rule – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last
  • Law of Coffee – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  • Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  • Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing Face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


If you can’t read this, you’re illiterate.


She said: My three year old son and I were passing by a McDonald’s one day and he started begging me to get some "fench fies, pweeeez". I didn’t have any money on me and I told him "No, Mommy is broke" He didn’t complain he just accepted my answer.

A few days later we were driving past a McDonald’s once again. He was not having a happy day because we were stuck running errands all day. So I offered, "Ryan do you want to get some french fries?" And he perked up and smiled and said, "Why Mommy, are you fixed?"


Don’t hurry, don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit, so be sure to stop and smell the flowers.

Walter Hagen


At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful young thing and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties.  

"Oh, I have a 3.9, so I’m much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What’s your G.P.A.?"  

Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 27 in the city and 38 on the highway.  


Kindly words, sympathizing attentions, watchfulness against wounding men’s sensitiveness, these cost very little, but they are priceless in their value.

F.W. Robertson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.


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